Still good and hard! (update with facts)

snotknocker

CAGiversary!
I was just digging deep into my kitchen cabinet to find something to eat. I found a bag of onions that I purchased about 4 months ago, To my astonishment they are still good and hard. So I'm having some pierogis with sauteed onions and garlic. It's amazing to me that onions keep so long. I am prone to taking notice of weird shit but I never realized this before. I was just curious has anyone else ever noticed that onions have a long lifespan?

(Update)
Well I needed to satiate my desire for onion facts so I searched around and found the following info and thought I would share this totally useless info

ONIONS
The onion is believed to have originated in Asia, though it is likely that onions may have been growing wild on every continent. Dating back to 3500 BC, onions were one of the few foods that did not spoil during the winter months. Our ancestors must have recognized the vegetable's durability and began growing onions for food.
The onion became more than just food after arriving in Egypt. The ancient Egyptians worshipped the onion, believing that its spherical shape and concentric rings symbolized eternity. Of all the vegetables that had their images created from precious metals by Egyptian artists, only the onion was made out of gold.
Today, onions are used in a variety of dishes and rank sixth among the world's leading vegetable crops.
CDC.gov - 5 a Day

According to an old English Rhyme, the thickness of an onion skin can help predict the severity of the winter. Thin skins mean a mild winter is coming while thick skins indicate a rough winter ahead.

If you eat onions you can get rid of onion breath by eating parsley.

Americans eat 18.8 pounds of fresh and storage type onions on average each year.
CDC.gov - 5 a Day

During the American Civil War, General Ulysses S. Grant sent a telegram to the War Department, "I will not move my army without onions." The next day he got them.

Yellow onions make up more than 75% of the worlds production of onions.

The U.S. produces well over 2 million metric tons of onions annually.

According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the largest onion ever grown weighed 10 lbs 14 oz and was grown by V. Throup of Silsden, England.

Onions represent the third largest fresh vegetable industry in the United States. The U.S. per capita consumption of onions is around 18.7 pounds per year. This translates to approximately 370 semi-truck loads of onions used in the United States each day. National Onion Association

World onion production is estimated at approximately 105 billion pounds each year. The average annual onion consumption calculates to approximately 13.67 pounds of onions per person across the world. Libya has the highest consumption of onions with an astounding average per capita consumption of 66.8 pounds. National Onion Association

The official state vegetable of Georgia is the Vidalia onion.

The official state vegetable of Texas is the Texas Sweet onion.

In Blue Hill, Nebraska, no female wearing a “hat that would scare a timid person” can be seen eating onions in public.

According to the National Onion Association, onion consumption in the U.S. has increased approximately 50% over the past 20 years.

Maui Onions are golden yellow, sweet, juicy onions grown on the Island of Maui, Hawaii. They are very sweet, have a high water content, and usually weigh about 1/2 to 3/4 pound. Maui onions are usually shaped like a flattened golbe. They are the earliest sweet onions on the market, and are generally available from April to June. Excellent for onion rings.
 
I ate a bag of old jellybeans once. They were from my 8th grade trip to washington DC, so think about 5-6 years old. They were actually gray, and I ate them to see what flavor they were. It was a big mistake.
 
Reality's Fringe said:
I ate a bag of old jellybeans once. They were from my 8th grade trip to washington DC, so think about 5-6 years old. They were actually gray, and I ate them to see what flavor they were. It was a big mistake.
I pity the fool who eats grey jelly beans :eek:
 
Reality's Fringe said:
I ate a bag of old jellybeans once. They were from my 8th grade trip to washington DC, so think about 5-6 years old. They were actually gray, and I ate them to see what flavor they were. It was a big mistake.


:rofl:
 
Oh hell, I might as well say it just to get it out of everyone's system. My wang is still good and hard!!!!

Ah.. I feel better now...
 
I found some gummy bears in a pocket of my laptop bag during Christmas break which were from my trip here back in August. They were still sealed and were great, I'm glad I found them because it was bugging me on the trip that they just disappeared.
 
[quote name='Jrunt20x']Oh hell, I might as well say it just to get it out of everyone's system. My wang is still good and hard!!!!

Ah.. I feel better now...[/quote]

Why say wang? Say penis!
 
[quote name='Xevious'][quote name='Jrunt20x']Oh hell, I might as well say it just to get it out of everyone's system. My wang is still good and hard!!!!

Ah.. I feel better now...[/quote]

Why say wang? Say penis![/quote]

Why say penis? Say reproductive organ, or my male member.
 
I have left onions in the fridge for a long time and I always thought they were still good, but never ate them because I wasn't sure. Now I know.

Here's a very bad experience with old food:
I worked in a grocery store meat department for 7 years. On this particular day, my manager and I were cleaning out a cooler when we found a box of hams. These were half hams, but the packaging had bloated to the point that they appeared to be whole (completely round). I checked the date on them and they were 2 years past expiration date. I looked at my manager and said "what do you think?" He smiled and said "go for it!" I took a knife, cut open a ham and took a big whiff of the contents. I immediately ran out of the department and into the bathroom to puke my guts out. One of the worst smells I have ever experienced in my life!
 
[quote name='snotknocker']I found a bag of onions that I purchased about 4 months ago, To my astonishment they are still good and hard.[/quote]
Stored in a cool, dry, dark place, onions will remain fresh for up to a year, and remain edible for a couple of years. Same thing with potatoes and, to a lesser degree, apples. There's a reason why all of those were major food sources for early American settlers.
 
We once left potatoes under the sink for the better part of two semesters in college. They grew, but because there was no sun or real nutrients they became horrible tentacled albino monstrosities. You'd have to fight to close the cupboard door if you opened it. I have great pictues somewhere.
 
[quote name='jbroush99']I have left onions in the fridge for a long time and I always thought they were still good, but never ate them because I wasn't sure. Now I know[/quote]
Actually, you shouldn't keep onions (or potatoes, or apples) in the fridge. They actually go bad faster because of moisture from condensation. Plus, the light from the regular opening of the door makes them sprout, which makes them taste not nearly as good.

The best place for all these items is exactly where the original poster said he found his: in the back of a kitchen cabinet.
 
Thats not really surprising... keeping them in a dark dry place will increase most produce's lifespan... however, with onions, they become more potent the longer they sit.







PURPLE HEADED YOGURT FLINGER!
 
[quote name='snotknocker'][quote name='Moxio']You just set yourself up for a trap.[/quote]

I better get Ackbar[/quote]

"We have no choice General Calrissian! Our cruisers can't repel firepower of that magnitude!"
 
[quote name='Jrunt20x']Oh hell, I might as well say it just to get it out of everyone's system. My wang is still good and hard!!!!

Ah.. I feel better now...[/quote]

But is it grey?
 
[quote name='jbroush99']I have left onions in the fridge for a long time and I always thought they were still good, but never ate them because I wasn't sure. Now I know.

Here's a very bad experience with old food:
I worked in a grocery store meat department for 7 years. On this particular day, my manager and I were cleaning out a cooler when we found a box of hams. These were half hams, but the packaging had bloated to the point that they appeared to be whole (completely round). I checked the date on them and they were 2 years past expiration date. I looked at my manager and said "what do you think?" He smiled and said "go for it!" I took a knife, cut open a ham and took a big whiff of the contents. I immediately ran out of the department and into the bathroom to puke my guts out. One of the worst smells I have ever experienced in my life![/quote]

The worst smell I have ever encountered came in the form of a wet hairball the size of a tennissball. I pulled it out of the bathroom sink while unclogging it. :cry: It was the only time I have ever instantly vomited due to a smell.

To this day, I can't drink squirt because it has a similar, although not bad, odor. In fact, I actually begin retching a little whenever I smell it. I dread the day my friends figure this out [-o
 
bread's done
Back
Top