Stupid things you thought as a kid

GameDude

GameDude

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I used to think that Labor Day was when women would have babies.

I also used to think your balls held your pee. So, when they were full is when it's pee time.
 
[quote name='GameDude']I used to think that Labor Day was when women would have babies.

I also used to think your balls held your pee. So, when they were full is when it's pee time.[/quote]

good thing that second one isn't true... mine'd be the size of casaba melons right about now...
 
I used to thing that a little town in Indiana called Harlan, was actually Harlem. I had a hard time understanding why people always talked about Harlan saying how bad it was.
 
[quote name='GameDude']I used to think that Labor Day was when women would have babies.

I also used to think your balls held your pee. So, when they were full is when it's pee time.[/quote]

Funny, cuz a friend of mine whos 17 actualy told us one of your testicles does hold urine, and thats why one is always lower than the other.,
 
When I was little I thought an attitude, a feeling or emotion toward a fact or state, was a brownie, a delicious chocolatey treat. Yet I thought a brownie was still a delicious chocolatey treat and not an attitude. I also thought whenever I had an erection, young people nearby where having sex and whenever I was flaccid, old people nearby where having sex.
 
I remember my mom sending my cousin some money threw western union. When I asked what it was for, she yelled "Hes broke" :shock:. I just remeber saying I hope this money fixes him. I was like 5.
 
I used to think when someone wrote a check they were creating money. When my mom would bitch about how broke we were I would tell her to just write more.
 
i used to think Memorial Day was Mario Day...I was like, "Mommy, since it's Mario Day, shouldn't everyone be able to stay home and Play Mario All-Stars on the Super Nintendo?"

lol :D
 
I also used to think your balls held your pee. So, when they were full is when it's pee time.[/quote]

I used to think that too.

I also used to think that there was such a thing as "Invisible Paint" that can make you invisible and "X-Ray" goggles that could look through clothing....

Damn, too bad I was wrong (not ont he pee thing)
 
When I was young, I couldn't tell the difference between Jeff Bridges, Dennis Quaid and C. Thomas Howell. I thought they were all the same person.
 
i used to think that a giant spider would devour me if i behaved badly. That might explain the archniphobia...
 
There is this one mall near us that always confused the hell outta me. It was built on uneven land so half was underground and half was on top. Some of the department stores would have the second floor and ground level and others on the other side had their first floor on ground level.

So whenever we went there, sometimes we would enter the store from outside, then go downstairs and exit on the other side, but still exit outside.

That confused me for a while. I didn't understand how we could enter on the second floor and leave on the first floor and everything would still look the same outside.
 
Having not known what a period was until junior high, I used to think that maxi pads were for women who couldn't hold their pee. Forgot what I thought of tampons.
 
i thought girls only had 1 hole. =[ stupid me, and i thought that when you knock boots, you have to have the same blood type, or you cant have babies.
 
[quote name='OILYWATER']Having not known what a period was until junior high, I used to think that maxi pads were for women who couldn't hold their pee. Forgot what I thought of tampons.[/quote]

Yeah, I think thats pretty average. I always thought the same thing.
 
[quote name='GameDude']I also used to think your balls held your pee. So, when they were full is when it's pee time.[/quote]
What would girls do then? :?
 
I used to think that I could levitate while I was sleeping. Sometimes I would wake up and the bed would bounce up and down as if I had just fallen from a foot above the bed. One time I woke up just a little quicker than usual, and saw that I had raised my right leg in my sleep, and it came crashing down on the bed, causing the bounce.
 
[quote name='Cornfedwb'][quote name='OILYWATER']Having not known what a period was until junior high, I used to think that maxi pads were for women who couldn't hold their pee. Forgot what I thought of tampons.[/quote]

Yeah, I think thats pretty average. I always thought the same thing.[/quote]

i knew about tampons, i thought you put the whole thing in there with the applicater, teh plastic thing.. ;P

edit!: one more, i thought condoms were balloons, so i told my little cousin to blow one up, i was like 7 and he was 5? and he showed his mom "my aunt" and she freaked out
 
I used to wonder why my dad smoked his cigarettes with a tweezer and other people I would see smoking cigarettes didn't. I thought he didn't want to burn his fingers (which was partially correct, but I was way off on the cigarette part.)
 
[quote name='catacasa']I used to wonder why my dad smoked his cigarettes with a tweezer and other people I would see smoking cigarettes didn't. I thought he didn't want to burn his fingers (which was partially correct, but I was way off on the cigarette part.)[/quote]


:rofl:
 
[quote name='catacasa']I used to wonder why my dad smoked his cigarettes with a tweezer and other people I would see smoking cigarettes didn't. I thought he didn't want to burn his fingers (which was partially correct, but I was way off on the cigarette part.)[/quote]

Thats awesome. :rofl:
 
I was convinced that 'Homemade' was some huge, international conglomerate that all other manufacturers compared their own products to. All those "It tastes just like Homemade!!" commercials were just attempts at cutting into Homemade, Inc.'s overwhelming market share.
 
I used to think that I had 2 stomachs. One for liquid, and one for solid food. Sometimes when I told my mom I was hungry, she'd tell me to have a glass of milk, and I'd tell her that I needed actual food, because that was the stomach that wanted something.
 
[quote name='brushwood']I used to think when someone wrote a check they were creating money. When my mom would bitch about how broke we were I would tell her to just write more.[/quote]

A friend of mine used to think that as long as he had checks, he had money. Once the insufficient funds notices started coming in, he learned his lesson. He was, and still is, a complete idiot. This all happened when he was 22!
 
I once made the profound statement that the special thing about English is that a "tree" really is a tree, while "arbol" or any other translation is just another way to say it (but it's really a tree).

My brother ended up doing the same thing at around the same age.

The weird part is that years later I learned that a sizeable part of philosophy (mostly Eastern) is wondering (and blabbering on and on) about absolute names and if our names for things affect them, etc. I guess I was just very advanced for my age...
 
I used to think (partly because of cartoons) that your entire torso was your stomach, I remember seeing this really big guy and thinking damn he could eat 50 burgers and not even be half full :lol:
 
When I was around five, I walked into the bathroom and saw my mom putting on a tampon. (yeah I l know) Well, around six grade some girls were talking about them and I said " oh you put that up your ass, right" I was convinced that they went there. Needless to say everyone made fun of me.
 
[quote name='hardwo0d']When I was around five, I walked into the bathroom and saw my mom putting on a tampon. [/quote]

:puke:
 
Off the top of my head, i used to think that traffic lights were controled by little men in them that fliped switches turning the light a different color. Also im positive there were a few famous people i couldnt tell apart. One last thing, i used to call Nightmare on ELm Street, Friday the thirteenth, Halloween, Hellraier, and im sure a few other movies, by the killer name like HW=Michel Myers.
 
You know sometimes when you just stare into nothing and you see those squiggly things moving around? I used to think I was the only one in the world who could see that. Turns out it's actually bacteria on your eye or something. I think a lot of people can relate to this one - when I was riding in a car at night, I used to think the moon was following us.
 
I used to call UPS the USP. For some reason even if I was told it was UPS I would still get it mixed up. Sometimes today I say UBS instead of USB, which is really close to the UPS mix up I had.
 
Oh yea another one was....I thought I was the only one in the world that could talk to myself in my head, you know what I mean, heheh :roll:

:Edit: oh yea and another was that I'd be married by now :cry:
 
[quote name='dpatel']There is this one mall near us that always confused the hell outta me. It was built on uneven land so half was underground and half was on top. Some of the department stores would have the second floor and ground level and others on the other side had their first floor on ground level.

So whenever we went there, sometimes we would enter the store from outside, then go downstairs and exit on the other side, but still exit outside.

That confused me for a while. I didn't understand how we could enter on the second floor and leave on the first floor and everything would still look the same outside.[/quote]

Do you live in Nashville? Because we have a mall like that and it confused me like that.
 
ill tell you why im messed up.........in the first grade, i started saying all of my words in reverse for some reason, my parents told me i was abducted by aliens and some mumbo jumbo so i scarred them for a whole 2 months like that

teachers tell me that that is the reason i am such a good speller
 
[quote name='AvidWriter']Oh yea another one was....I thought I was the only one in the world that could talk to myself in my head, you know what I mean, heheh :roll:
[/quote]
Same here.
I also remember wondering at one point if I was really the only real person, and everyone else was not real, like I was on a holodeck on Star Trek.
 
I thought people on tv could see you and that when you had sex it was like a hotdog in a hamburger bun- no hole.
 
[quote name='Kaijufan'][quote name='AvidWriter']Oh yea another one was....I thought I was the only one in the world that could talk to myself in my head, you know what I mean, heheh :roll:
[/quote]
Same here.
I also remember wondering at one point if I was really the only real person, and everyone else was not real, like I was on a holodeck on Star Trek.[/quote]

dude i thought so too, like what if evarything was a TV show and they were just fucking with me like joe schmoe............not a holodeck lol.............but i still think about it at times
 
[quote name='pimp_daddy_smurf'][quote name='Kaijufan'][quote name='AvidWriter']Oh yea another one was....I thought I was the only one in the world that could talk to myself in my head, you know what I mean, heheh :roll:
[/quote]
Same here.
I also remember wondering at one point if I was really the only real person, and everyone else was not real, like I was on a holodeck on Star Trek.[/quote]

dude i thought so too, like what if evarything was a TV show and they were just shaq-fuing with me like joe schmoe............not a holodeck lol.............but i still think about it at times[/quote]
Ed TV also got me thinking when I saw it. That would be crazy if they did that to someone.
 
[quote name='mousin']

edit!: one more, i thought condoms were balloons, so i told my little cousin to blow one up, i was like 7 and he was 5? and he showed his mom "my aunt" and she freaked out[/quote]

lol i thought the same about condoms with my little brother.. but we thought it was water ballons and filled them up and throw 'em around

I use to this shamoo's white spot near their eye.. was actually their eye.. T_T.. and i wanted those building block thing when i was young so i thought dialing any number would just give me it.. it more likely given me a lecture about the phone..

soeaking of the phone i use to wonder how the hell you dialed letters even though it was obvious.. i was at a young age >_< for all those times
 
I yelled at my mom in the car one day because she was drinking and driving...it took her an hour to explain what that meant and that Pepsi was ok.
 
[quote name='Kaijufan'][quote name='AvidWriter']Oh yea another one was....I thought I was the only one in the world that could talk to myself in my head, you know what I mean, heheh :roll:
[/quote]
Same here.
I also remember wondering at one point if I was really the only real person, and everyone else was not real, like I was on a holodeck on Star Trek.[/quote]

That's pretty normal, really. It's part of how the brain develops that you learn to model other people as people rather than just meat puppets. Some forms of brain damage result in people who cannot feel empathy. THey have no concept of others' emotions and just learn to give those responses that get them through life without understanding why some things cause other people to become upset or even violent. As a result they become very attached to a highly ordered day to day routine since unfamiliar situations are practically like being dropped in a warzone for them.
 
[quote name='AvidWriter']Oh yea another one was....I thought I was the only one in the world that could talk to myself in my head, you know what I mean, heheh :roll:

:Edit: oh yea and another was that I'd be married by now :cry:[/quote]

Well, in a certain sense you were right. Unless you hear voices that nobody else seems to hear. In which case you should be kept away from pointy objects.
 
Try as I might I can't remember any really off the wall things I believed as a small child. I do recall that it came as a revalation to me one day to realize that I had four grandparents. Prior to that it hadn't really connected to me exactly what my relationship or more importantly my parent's relationship was to these people.

The cause of pregnancy was very mysterious if you go back far enough. Back then the very existence of sex was entirely ignored by TV and the wives (the idea of an unmarried woman conceiving was simply not offered) would come up pregnant as a total surprise to one and all. Especially since before 'The Brady Bunch' these couples didn't even share a bed.

Weirdest of all would be those shows where a couple would express interest in having children but since the procreative act was so unmentionable it made everyone seem entirely clueless as to how this could be achieved. ("Have you tried sex?" "What's that?") Pregnancy seemed a haphazard result of married life like cancer for smokers. You never knew when it might happen or how it could be helped or hindered.

By the time I was seven or eight I'd come to understand the basic physiological issues. I was stunned years later when a friend from a rather more religious family than mine didn't understand a risque joke I told him. I had to give him the birds & the bees talk to explain the idea behind the joke. He then accused me of lying since I'd described procreation as a purely physiological function and unrelated to marriage. At twelve years old he was sure there was some mystical ritual as part of a wedding ceremony that turned on the couple's equipment and made it possible for them to have children.
 
My younger sister still likes to tease me about this...

When we were little and we used to go to visit our grandmother, we'd drive past a plant (I think it's called Ormet). Lots of white smoke was always pouring out of pipes there and I used to think that that's where they made clouds - the cloud factory.

To this day, if I'm driving with my sister past it, she'll say "Look! Look! It's the cloud factory!!"
 
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