The Disco Inferno wrestling thread

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I love how everyone in the background is smiling.

EDIT: I missed this last night, but at 4:10 on the video, you can see CM Punk and Regal smiling and laughing in agreement with Brian. I particularly liked Punk's "by a lot." :lol:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h3Lax2YCvt8&feature=related
 
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Where the hell were Carlito and R-Truth?

I actually didn't even notice that R-Truth was missing when I saw it earlier today. It wasn't until I read one of the YouTube comments that I realized it.
 
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[quote name='lmz00']Where the hell were Carlito and R-Truth?

I actually didn't even notice that R-Truth was missing when I saw it earlier today. It wasn't until I read one of the YouTube comments that I realized it.[/QUOTE]
I realized it when I only saw 6 superstars at the beginning of the show but of course the first thing I thought of was "I can't say this is racist..."
 
So last night, I'm like, "oh wait.. NXT is on..." "eh, I don't give a shit about watching NXT anymore because Danielson is gone" .. then I come here and see that awesome youtube clip posted. fuck.
 
[quote name='Mr. Beef']I missed this last night, but at 4:10 on the video, you can see CM Punk and Regal smiling and laughing in agreement with Brian. I particularly liked Punk's "by a lot." :lol:[/QUOTE]
Holy shit I didn't even notice that before. That is hilarious. I know Miz isn't the best wrestler but given how he started out, to still be around and be given different pushes is really a great accomplishment. Hell when I first saw him on Tough Enough, I was like Real World dude? He is getting kicked out quick. I actually like watching his shit a lot of time because its just so damn funny.
 
William Regal - "Miz, Miz... He is better than you." 4:40


Awesome, I didn't notice that either until I just watched it.
 
Santa Claus after the South Beach Diet?

[quote name='pitfallharry219']Did TNA stop doing live Impacts? I thought they were just moving back to Thursdays, but I've seen taping results all the way up until 6/10.[/QUOTE]

They hardly ever went live on Thursdays; I believe less than 5 times, if that. But I saw that, too (didn't read the actual spoilers/results) and I don't believe they've ever taped this much in advance. Are they doing some international tour or something?
 
[quote name='Matt Young']
They hardly ever went live on Thursdays; I believe less than 5 times, if that. But I saw that, too (didn't read the actual spoilers/results) and I don't believe they've ever taped this much in advance. Are they doing some international tour or something?[/QUOTE]

They're taping that many episodes due to them doing a European tour at the end of the month.
 
[quote name='Matt Young']

They hardly ever went live on Thursdays; I believe less than 5 times, if that. But I saw that, too (didn't read the actual spoilers/results) and I don't believe they've ever taped this much in advance. Are they doing some international tour or something?[/QUOTE]

theyve done 3 weeks worth of tapings before, which i guess is nice for the guys. gives them more time at home

also: does anyone have a link to the video of santinos "sponsor ad" from monday?
 
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The show opened with what had to be the world's longest contender announcement segment. It took them 20 minutes to get through the top ten rankings, and the only good parts about it were them not blowing Angle's return on it and doing these small videos hyping up each guy. A graphic literally could have accomplished 90% of this same task, but I guess they needed something to get Jeff Hardy and Sting out there to fight before their main event match.

Rayne-Roxxi was okay. I'm pleasantly surprised to see Roxxi win since she's usually brought in to job once every six months or so now. The Angle hype vid was a great way to build him up, even if his comment about TNA getting 3,000 fans max really makes them seem second-rate. Angle's promo just reinforced this, but I'm somewhat intrigued to see how they handle him wanting to go through all other contenders before getting a shot.

The Flair/Beer Money promo was okay, but Kaz coming in was kinda weird. Rob Terry's pre-match promo was fine, but it was sure strange that he was limping out to the ring for the match but moved just fine to come out for the top contendership announcement. It was also odd for Tenay to bring up Rob being a fighting champion right before saying it was a non-title match. OJ clipping the knee might've meant something if they hadn't already used that exact spot during the Hardy-Sting spot. OJ as a submission master isn't doing much for me. He doesn't do the moves very well, and when you've got main event guys trying to get over submissions like Joe and Angle, having a guy do them poorly and win with them kind of dilutes it. Similarly, his dropping from the rafters intro is a bit too similar to Sting's for my liking, but it does stand out with the wacky pink straps and his garb and mannerisms.

Lethal losing the Black Machismo getup kinda came out of nowhere, but it's better for him in the long run to lose it. His new gear is fine, minus the orangesicle color scheme, but his new theme...needs some work. RVD's theme sounded good next to it. Anyway, he's found a good way now to mix the charisma he showed as Black Machismo but without the wackiness of the gimmick. He also took an awesome flip bump after getting tossed off the top by Storm. Lethal winning with the figure 4 was also a pleasant surprise - it gets the move over as a finisher, fits perfectly into the Flair feud, and gives him a new finisher to build to in matches. The post-match brawl was fine, but it seems like they have one every week. They need to find a new way to build up their inevitable match, probably at the PPV.

Sting attacking RVD in a Sting match kinda sucked. WWE did this way better with Jericho wearing a Rey mask to attack him - he actually dressed like a fan would and blended in well with the crowd. Sting just stood up dressed like Sting but in a Sting mask over his Sting paint. RVD was apparently too stoned to notice this. What a dumb babyface. Abyss getting sliced was just stupid. Glass was given away for free, the guy gets a bunch of stitches for something that doesn't even work well for a highlight reel outside of the visual of Wolfe just holding the broken glass in a menacing way. So he's not even gonna get anything out of this in the long run.

EY's promo about his heel turn made no sense since he didn't actually explain why he turned heel, but it at least led to a decent Moore-EY match. EY badly needs gear that isn't baby shit green. Moore's springing sell of the piledriver ruled, and reminded me a bit of RVD's massive one when he took Dreamer's piledriver at N2R '97. The X Division battle royal was good, but a little too fast-paced for anything in it to mean anything. The idea of this putting the winner in number 10 further undermines the fan voting as the fans had nothing to do with it. Kaz wins and is once again number 1 contender to the X Title. It furthers the "Flair wants gold" deal, but still - yawn.

TNA going back to their formula of giving away big-time first-ever matches free was once again stupid. They could've milked the "Jeff idolized Sting and is now let down by him" deal for weeks, but instead, it got about two hours of build. Taz wondering if RVD would be okay after Sting cracked a few of his ribs amused me since injuries in TNA never have any lasting effect. Sting-Hardy was better than I expected given Sting's shoulder injury, but was still way too slow-paced for my liking. Aside from Anderson's death drop looking terrible, I liked the ending. It furthered the build for his face turn nicely. This wasn't a show with a lot of good wrestling, but I liked most of the non-wrestling stuff they did and they at least built for the future relatively well with it.

Screens -








"We know who's gonna go down!"






Quotes -
Ad guy - JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT EVERY QUESTION WAS ANSWERED - THINK AGAIN!
Taz - AFTER A 30 DAY HIATUS, KURT ANGLE RETURNS TO TNA!
Taz - It’s always awesome to see Ms. Tessmacher!
Bischoff - You’ve all been waiting for the top 10 rankings for a shot at the most coveted title in all of entertainment - the TNA World Heavyweight title! The championship committee of myself, Hulk Hogan, and Dixie Carter. Using three criteria - fan polling ALL THREE QUARTERS OF A MILLION OF YA. Career win-loss record and previous championship record, and the third of course, is a TNA win-loss and championship record!
Tenay - THERE’S DIXIE CARTER - THAT JUST SHOWS YOU HOW IMPORTANT THIS POLL IS!
Bischoff - Number 10 Samoa Joe. Number 9 THE TNA GLOBAL CHAMPION - ROB TERRY!
Ad Guy - ROB TERRY - HIS SIZE, STRENGTH, AND ABILITY PUT HIM IN THE ELITE IN THE SPORT TODAY!
Bischoff - Number 8 - Desmond Wolfe! Number 7, one of Ms. Tessmacher’s favorites - THE POPE! Number 6, THE MONSTER ABYSS!
Ad Guy - ABYSS IS A MONSTER THAT SHOULD BE FEARD!
Bischoff - Number 5 - MISTER ANDERSON! NUMBER FOUR - JEFF HARDY! Number 3 - AJ STYLES! Number 2 - KURT ANGLE! (Angle doesn’t come out)
Crowd - WE WANT ANGLE!
Bischoff - Number 1 - STING!
Crowd - WE WANT RECOUNT!
Bischoff - On behalf of TNA Entertainment, I’d like to congratulate you on being number 1 contender!
Sting - You, Hogan, and Dixie wanted change? (destroys set) THAT’S CHANGE. And you need to change the way you walk. (gut and knee shot with the bat)
Tessmacher - Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?
Hogan - Yeah, get a trainer.
Taz - It’s a night of returns! First Roxxi, then later Kurt Angle.
(as Rayne enters the ring)Taz - LET THA PIGEONS LOOSE!
Taz - Roxxi’s going for a lot of pin covers. Makes me think that she might have some cardio issues. Cardio vascular problems. Mike, I’m begging ya to jump in here…
Tenay - I thought you might just take over the broadcast.
Tenay - Rayne with shots TO THE BACK!
Tenay - TONIGHT, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, STING VERSUS JEFF HARDY, AND WE’LL SEE ABYSS TAKE THE SERVICES OF CHELSEA!
(after a punt from Rayne)Tenay - KNOCKOUT BLOW GETS TWO!
Angle - I’d rather hear 1, 2, or 3,000 fans chanting TNA than hear 12,000 sit on their hands!
Angle - Sitting at home for the past months, I’ve noticed a lot of changes from when I started here four years ago. When I first started here, I was one of the elite - the best. Now…
Fans - YOU STILL ARE! YOU STILL ARE!
Angle - But with the additions of RVD, Jeff Hardy, Mr. Anderson - just to name a few, and some who have elevated themselves like Joe, AJ, Lethal, and Eric Young - Kurt Angle is no longer one of the elite. He’s just another name on the TNA roster. Let me explain something about myself. Kurt Angle will wrestle for free. It’s never been about money or ego. It was never about wrestling millions of fans or being in the spotlight - it was about this ring and putting everything on the line. One walking away the winner, and one walking away the loser. Kurt Angle was bred to be a winner, and he’ll be one for the rest of his life! Now, I’m going thorugh a difficult time right now.
Fan - DIVORCE!?
Angle - Maybe it’s a mid-life crisis, but I’ve done everything possible in every aspect of wrestling. Amateur, Olympic, and pro - I’ve done it all, so what can I do to make myself new? I’ll tell ya what - I’m gonna start from scratch. I’m gonna take myself out of the top 10 - out of the number 2 contenders spot, and I’m gonna wrestle all 10 of the top 10 starting with 10 and ending with 1. And I promise ya this, and this is real, you’ll see some of the greatest matches of all time. AND THAT IS REAL THAT IS DAMN REAL!
Flair - FIRST RULE OF THUMB WHEN YOU’RE INTERVIEWING ME IS TO NOT NAME ANYONE BUT ME. I’M A WRESTLING GOD. LETHAL, IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY - BUT NOT TO ME. YOU COST AJ THE GOLD, AND I LIVE FOR GOLD. BEER MONEY IS TNA’S MUSCLE! Feel that? LIKE IT?
Hemme - No…
Kaz - I’d like to speak to Ric…
Flair - It’s okay guys, focus on Lethal. Christy, is it true you got married without a pre-nup?
Hemme - We’re done here.
Taz - Orlando looks very happy coming down from the rafters. Wonder if he’s ever seen Sting up there.
Tenay - ROB TERRY IS SUCH A FIGHTING CHAMPION!
Tenay - This is a non-title match.
Fan - YOU SUCK, ORLANDO!
Jeff Hardy - Sting inspired me to paint my face.
Neal - BUBBA, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ON SUNDAY!?
Taz - It’s good to see Jay Lethal as just Jay Lethal.
Tenay - THE ICON STING IS WEARING A STING MASK!
Hardy - Nobody knows what goes on in my mind - thank God. I grew up idolizing Sting and now I’m in TNA with the guy. But Sting, I DARE YOU TO TRY AND FIGURE ME OUT, AND NOT JUST ME, BUT WE THE CREATURES OF THE NIIIGHTTTT! ARE GONNA TAKE YOU BEYOND YOUR WILDEST IMAG-I-NATION!
(to guards as they take Chelsea away)Wolfe - You lay a hand on her, ya moppets, and you’ll answer to me!
Abyss - DESMOND WOLFE, YOU HAVE SOMETHING, OR SHOULD I SAY SOMEONE, THAT YOU OWE ME! SO LET’S DO THIS! DESMOND, BRING HER TO ME! BRING HER…TO ME!
Taz - This is like watching a horror movie.
Taz - She’s subservient to Abyss for 30 days. Poor girl’s gotta have a nightmare going through her mind.
Abyss - Desmond, it’s ironic because this past Sunday, I made you my bitch! AND TONIGHT, I’M TAKING YOURS!
Wofle - OH ZINGAH! Ya see, what we have here is a sense of false-security. If you think for one second I’m letting you take her, well you are sorely mistaken sweetheart. You take her? OVER MY DEAD BODY!
Taz - Chelsea just realized what’s gonna go down! (Abyss points to her)
Tenay - ABYSS HAS HER FOR 30 DAYS. LET YOUR IMAGINATIONS RUN WILD!
Taz - It’ll probably be like watching a grizzly bear maul a rabbit! IT’S GONNA BE GROSS!
Ad Guy - DON’T MISS THE MOST CONTROVERSIAL WRESTLING SHOW TODAY! TNA REACTION - COMING IN JUNE!
EY - Look, I understand the boos. I’ve done everything and you have nothing. I’M IN THE BAND AND YOU’RE NOT. Look at Hall, Nash, and Young! We’re like brothers! WE’RE BLOOD! These are the only two men in this business I have anything in common with. Nash is an ass-kicker! For some reason, Big Kev is getting criticized for that - CUZ THERE’S NO ONE ELSE IN THE BUSINESS WITH THE BALLS TO DO IT! EXCEPT FOR ME AND SCOTT! WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING AT WORLD IS THE NEWEST MEMBER OF THE BAND! AND THE BAND ISN’T HERE TO PLAY SOME COOL TUNES AND ENTERTAIN YOU MUTANTS - WE’RE HERE TO MAKE THE BIG BUCKS! WE’RE GONNA TAKE EVERYTHING AND LEAVE NOTHING ON THE TABLE. Look, because we’re such classy dudes - we’ll tell ya first cuz we know, and you know, there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it! (Ink Inc comes out)
Tenay - MOORE WITH BULLDOG-STYLE!
Taz - RVD might have a few cracked ribs. Hopefully he’s okay.
(on Hardy-Sting)Taz - This is a match that maybe people wanna see - and we’re getting it now for free!
Taz - Sting kept the Scorpi-on for as long as possible.
 
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Wade Keller's review of Impact contained him bitching about Tenay calling Eric Young "Eli" every week and never explaining why. I sent him an email explaining why Mike Tenay calls Eric Young "E.Y." instead.
 
That's gay, nasty, and something that only the strangest of women would enjoy hearing on a date
 
I thought Impact was really good last night, but the top 10 rankings were beyond stupid.

Speaking of TNA, rumor is that it has been recommended that Dixie cut 15-20 names off the roster. I easily came up with a list 0f 20 or so. My criteria mostly had to do with people who were not being used or were being paid too much, bit I included a couple just on the basis of me thinking they were horrible:

1. Brutus Magnus- There appears to be nothing for him to do.
2. Rhino- Same as Magnus. he's pretty much outlived his usefulness, anyway.
3. Eric Young- Not gonna happen, obviously. The guy is okay as a low-mid level guy, but he shouldn't be pushed.
4.Jesse Neal- He's done a great job of getting in shape, but I've never seen any potential.
5. Hamada- I like her, but her contract is expiring and she has barely been sued aside from the short-lievd team with Kong.
6. Christy Hemme- She's hot and does her job just fine, but she's reportedly making more than some of the wrestlers. Bye!
7. Rob Terry- Terrible, generic big man. Not going anywhere, sadly.
8. Orlando Jordan- I never liked him in WWE and I like him even less now. Terrible wrestler; terrible gimmick.
9. The Amazing Red- Never been a fan, and he's pretty much got no place in the company anymore.
10. Lacey Von Erich I doubt she's going anywhere, but she has nothing going for her aside from her looks.
11. Mick Foley- At the comedy show the night before WMXXVI, he said he was "taking a break". he's not that good anymore and is probably expensive, so I would not bring him back.
12. Raven- I'm a fan, but he hasn't been any good in at least 5 years.
13. Stevie Richards- Again, I'm a fan, but there's nothing for him in TNA.
14. Shark Boy- Do I really need to explain?
15. Chelsea- Worthless eye candy.
16. Kiyoshi- Still on the roster; hasn't been used in months. Cut.
17. Syxx-Pac- Unreliable, not entertaining, probably overpaid.
18. Jimmy Hart- Unless they're keeping him on for music competition, get rid of him.
19. SoCalVal- What does she do, anyway?

Other noatbles: "Suicide" is listed on the roster, but the guys who played him are still around. I geuss the character is probably gone. ODB and Taylor Wilde are pretty crappy, but TNA does need to keep some women on board. Generation Me, I loved as The Young Bucks, but they're being given the jobber treatment in TNA on the rare occasions which they actually do appear on screen.

That's my list. What's yours?
 
[quote name='Matt Young']
That's my list. What's yours?[/QUOTE]

I actually came up with 22 I could dump and not miss all that much. I tried to stay away from the obviously un-dumpable people (Hogan, Flair, Jarrett), even though some will argue that a few made the list anyway.

Abyss
Amazing Red
Chelsea
Stevie Richards
Eric Young
Hamada
Christy Hemme
Jesse Neal
Kaz
Kiyoshi
Magnus
Orlando Jordan
Raven
Rhino
Rob Terry
Sarita
Shannon Moore
SoCalVal
Shark Boy
Tomko
Kevin Nash
Scott Hall
Sean Waltman
Team 3D

I realize some of those would be unpopular choices, but I look at people like Abyss and can't really figure out where he goes from here without a SEVERE repackage. He also falls into 'guys I can't stand because they always appear to be trying too hard', same as Shannon Moore. I want to punch someone everytime I hear 'The Prince of Punk!'. Seriously. That was how I made most of the list, really, by just asking the question "if this person disappeared off my TV forever, would I notice/care?" Made the whole exercise pretty easy.

The Band and 3D have outlived their usefulness and, though 3D isn't *awful*, they have too many other younger and talented teams that should be spotlighted instead. Too much focus on 3D hampers the product, but they seem unwilling to change that, so I vote for just getting rid of them. Might just be me.

Tomko. Haha.

I also enjoy how Daniels is still listed on the roster page, and the 'more roster' section still has Bubba. Way to keep that up-to-date, TNA. :applause:
 
The next PWG show (named "Dio") features London & Generico against Kendrick & Steen. That's going to be amazing.
 
Am I the only one that thinks DiBiase looks like the victim of some bad plastic surgery? His face reminds me of Aubrey O'Day.
 
[quote name='Scorch']After watching that clip from NXT..

..why the hell have I not been watching NXT?![/QUOTE]

... because, really, it wasn't worth watching *until* that clip? ;)

Honestly, I was with it for a few weeks, but the overall drifting tone of the show left me disinterested. I loved the shit out of it for the first 2-3 weeks, though.
 
I hated the first week of NXT and thought it improved every week until the show where they had the first 30 minutes feature that stupid contest with the wrestlers talking for 30 seconds about flowers and rainbows and shit.

The actual wrestling has been good, but the contests have been terrible.
 
[quote name='Scorch']After watching that clip from NXT..

..why the hell have I not been watching NXT?![/QUOTE]

Count your blessings. NXT has had a combined total of maybe 2 episodes worth of watchable content. Since you've now seen the Dragon clip you haven't missed a thing. It's on par with Superstars, absolutely disposable and completely non-essential.
 
"WWE Superstar Carlito (Carlos Colon) has been released from his World Wrestling Entertainment contract as of today May 21, 2010. Carlito’s termination was due to his first violation of the WWE Wellness Program and his subsequent refusal to attend a rehabilitation facility. "
 
[quote name='OnyxPrimal']"WWE Superstar Carlito (Carlos Colon) has been released from his World Wrestling Entertainment contract as of today May 21, 2010. Carlito’s termination was due to his first violation of the WWE Wellness Program and his subsequent refusal to attend a rehabilitation facility. "[/QUOTE]

Good fuck him. I put him in the same category I put Kennedy in.
 
[quote name='OnyxPrimal']"WWE Superstar Carlito (Carlos Colon) has been released from his World Wrestling Entertainment contract as of today May 21, 2010. Carlito’s termination was due to his first violation of the WWE Wellness Program and his subsequent refusal to attend a rehabilitation facility. "[/QUOTE]
Too lazy to even enter rehab. I always liked Carlito, but I mean c'mon. #-o

EDIT: More from WWE.com, this time an interview with Daniel Bryan.

Eliminated NXT Rookie Daniel Bryan’s assault of announcer Michael Cole has sent shockwaves through the entire WWE Universe. Daniel Bryan’s actions on WWE NXT won’t soon be forgotten by the NXT Rookies, the WWE Pros and, of course, Cole. (WATCH)

When given the chance to discuss his elimination at the hands of WWE Management, Daniel Bryan defiantly defended his actions and said he was the best person to win WWE NXT. In addition to calling out the WWE Pros, he singled out Cole, who had been berating him for months.

In mere moments, a determined Daniel Bryan exited the ring, approached the announce table and called Cole “a parrot with Vince McMahon in his ear telling him what to say.” Daniel Bryan shockingly slapped Cole across the face, referred to him as “a poor man’s replacement for J.R.,” then knocked him to the ground and stomped on him until host Matt Striker and WWE Officials dragged him off. (PHOTOS | WATCH)

But was Daniel Bryan’s bold move of smacking the announcer something he now regrets? The former NXT Rookie spoke to WWE.com moments after the attack.

“I think my actions were unprofessional and I’d do them all over again,” Daniel Bryan said with conviction. “You can only be pushed so much before you get to that breaking point, you know, and at some point you need to stand up for yourself. And if an announcer feels like he has free reign to bury you at every opportunity, you have to make him accountable for what he says.”

Daniel Bryan explained to WWE.com that he believes he has every right to stand up for himself and it was only a matter of time before he called out Cole.

“He’s going to sit there and say that I have no ‘it’ factor, I have no charisma and stuff like that, but he’ll sit there and put over David Otunga and he can’t even run the ropes right,” Daniel Bryan said. “They have people who are telling them what to say and he’s just pushing the WWE agenda, so I’m going to call him out on it. And if he’s burying me in the WWE Universe, I’m going to call him out on it.”

As for Cole, when WWE.com’s Joey Styles approached him for a comment, an enraged, embarrassed and bloody lipped Cole said, “Get that damn recorder out of my face, Joey!” and walked away.

In addition to standing up for his beliefs when it comes to his assault on Cole, Daniel Bryan also backed his statements on Tuesday’s WWE NXT that alluded to his belief that WWE has prejudice against smaller athletes.

“I’m sure if you look at everyone who comes here – the guys they push to the top – the John Cenas, the Batistas, the Randy Ortons – they’ve never done a minute on the independent scene. They’re all guys who are made here in WWE,” he said. “If you look at the older generations – the Chris Jerichos, the William Regals, the guys like that – those guys were all made outside of here and then came in and when they came in they were ready to be top guys.”

Finally, Daniel Bryan had an important message for WWE Management – he refuses to back down.

“Well they can try and hold me down as much as they want,” Daniel Bryan said. “If they give me one segment, if they give me one segment like they did tonight, I will be the star of the show.”
 
It's been 4 posts and nobody is waiting for him to show up in TNA????

What's going on?!?!

*and that's the best Vicki has looked on TV
 
Other than the kinda "there" JTG-Croft and Vance/Hawkins matches, and the rather lame but purposeful Peep Show with Hornswoggle, I loved this show. MVP and Rey had an awesome tag match against the SES, while Kofi and Swagger had a very good, fast-paced match. I loved the integration of the IC title and World title guys - it elevates the IC belt without hurting the world title and makes the world title scene a little more exciting since it opens the doors to more challengers down the line. Show was the MVP of the show for me with all of his wacky faces, but Punk and Serena had their moments as well. Striker calling his bald photoshop a mix of Dr. Evil and Ox Baker ruled.

Screens -







"A mix of Dr. Evil and Ox Baker"






Quotes -
Luke - There was a time when I was weak-minded, pathetic, and riddled with addiction. I used to wake up and think it was impossible to achieve a better life for myself, but the man who can save everyone in this ring and the WWE Universe can make anything possible. That man is CM Punk.
Serena - Everyone in attendance needs to stand up right now! And show this PERFECT MAN THE RESPECT THAT HE DESERVES!
Luke - I can’t think of a better place than this for his most gracious act. In Canada, it’s legal for teens to drink alcohol. THE IMPRESSIONABLE YOUTH OF YOUR NATION ARE MORALLY HANDICAPPING THEMSELVES AS THEIR PARENTS TURN A BLIND EYE. But that’s going to end for all of you, as you take a pledge to extinguish the demons of addiction. Just like CM Punk is gonna do to Rey Mysterio at Over the Limit.
Serena - The individuals that sit before us represent the decay of this country! But we are here tonight to heal them. At Over the Limit, CM Punk will heal Rey Mysterio. Through him, the power of straight edge will be seen from now until eternity.
Punk - SO RAISE YOUR HANDS GENTLEMEN AND REACH FOR THE SKY! Those in attendance, stand and reach high! Those at home, STAND UP FROM YOUR LAZY BOY AND TOUCH YOUR HAND TO THE SCREEN! This pledge erases every bad decision you’ve made in your insignificant lives! This pledge makes you better than everybody! THIS MOMENT BEGINS THE REST OF YOUR LIVES, GENTLEMEN. No longer are you weak like the Universe you see before you. I need you to show your devotion to your savior. I’m a kind savior, BUT I DO HAVE NEEDS! (as he shaves a head)FEEL THE POWER OF CM PUNK FLOW THROUGH YOU!
Rey - Hey! Ya know what, Punk, this whole mass induction ceremony is just way too ridiculous man. This is too much. Look at how silly those three bald guys look.
Punk - THEY’RE BEAUTIFUL. THEY’RE PURE!
Rey - Everyone will be laughing at Over the Limit WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE THIS! (bald Punk photoshop comes up)
Striker - Is that Punk or Serena with a beard?
Chimel - The self-professed co-women’s champions - Michelle McCool and Layla!
Striker - They’re besties - they share!
Striker - Kelly Kelly’s a parking ticket - she’s got FINE written all over her!
Grisham - THAT. WAS. TERRIBLE.
Striker - I got it from Lawler.
Striker - Tiffany does a lot of work with PETA. I’m a fan of animals too - they’re delicious.
Striker - Faith Breaker - and no on egets up when their faith is broken.
Grisham - They’re BFFs - Beautiful, Famous, and Flawless.
Show - My name is the Big Show - the number 1 contender to the world heavyweight title. Jack Swagger has been telling us about his accolades. It’s good to be an Eagle Scout, all-state wrestling champion all four years in high school, and prom king. Well, maybe not that one. Did you know that there weeks ago, I knocked Jack Swagger out? That is just one of my many accomplishments!
Grisham - He’s done being about the money money - now he’s fly and flashy!
Dude Busters - We bust dudes up. For sure!
Grisham - I heard Trent say he should beat JTG quickly so he could go home, sit on his bean bag, and eat pistachios.
Christian - Vickie, the peeps polled who they’d like to see on the peep show, and you didn’t even break the top 100.
Vickie - WHAT, I’M VERY POPULAR!? WHO’S ON YOUR LIST?
Christian - Bret Hart, The Mountie, Jared the Subway Guy, and Chester - he loves chicken.
Vickie - Who’s Chester?
Christian - I don’t know - BUT HE LIKES CHICKEN!
Striker - The team of Mini Vanilla and Ryan Seacrest take on Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins.
Grisham - Vance and Hawkins have been signed to a 30 day contract.
Grisham - WWE.com has a feature on greatest big men - including Big Daddy V and Andre the Giant.
Striker - AMERICAN PSYCHO VANCE ARCHER PULLS THE PLUG!
Vance - PAY ATTENTION.
Hawkins - 22 DAYS LEFT FOR US TO MAKE AN IMPACT. Oh, and we’re gonna do it - whether you like it or not!
Big Show - Hi, my name is Big Show - number 1 contender to the World Title. Jack Swagger accomplished many things before becoming world champion. He was a two time all-American…(snaps fingers, gets card) And was a Vianese Waltz ballroom champion. Weird. Two weeks ago, I choke slammed him through an announce table. It’s one of my many accomplishments.
Striker - HERE COMES THE ONLY HIGH SCHOOL ATHLETE TO BE NOMINATED FOR AN ESPY!
Swagger - Big Show, you disrespected me last week. YOU DISRESPECTED ALL OF MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS, THE GREAT STAET OF OKLAHOMA, AND MY DADDY! Most importantly, you disrespected the World Heavyweight championship itself. So this Sunday, I’m gonna disrespect you. When the dust settles, the ring announcer will say the winner and STILL WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. THE ALL-AMERICAN AMERICAN AMERICAN, JACK SWAGGER!
Striker - Swagger is having oodles of trouble with Kofi Kingston.
Grisham - Swagger grabs him like a Venus fly trap.
Striker - FEED ME SEYMOUR. HAHA!
Swagger - Swagger has been watching tapes of guys who know how to take a punch and pull their neck back.
Grisham - Like James Toney?
Striker - Yes.
Grisham - How can he beat Big Show?
Striker - I just told you!
Grisham - He can avoid the punch, BUT HE STILL HAS TO BEAT THE BIG SHOW.
Striker - Well, if anyone can do it, Jack Swagger can.
Grisham - Was this a low blow?
Striker - Nope. Inner thigh. Swagger’s a professional. The ref’s right there and he didn’t call a DQ.
Grisham - Interesting move from Matt Swagger.
Striker - Good one, buddy. I GUESS WE’RE ALL GETTING HYPED ABOUT OVER THE LIMIT!
Striker - Swagger may not be able to throw Show, but he can still take him down. He’s a two time all-American, how many times do I have to say this?
Grisham - Please, no more.
Striker - I don’t approve of those closed fists from Kofi.
Grisham - Well, you didn’t mind the low blow.
Striker - Inner thigh.
Grisham - The referee’s right there and didn’t call a DQ.
Striker - The WWE Universe comes alive for Christian!
Striker - What’s he looking at anyway?
Grisham - His supporters - something you don’t have.
Christian - Welcome to the Peep Show. It feels great to be back here on SD! My guest and I have never really seen eye to eye. I give to you….HORNSWOGGLE!
Striker - HAHA! EYE TO EYE…Cuz he’s short…
Striker - He’s half a peep - he’s a pee!
Christian - You’re decked out in your DX duds. Give the Canadian ladies and a little strut. I think I know what you want to do - give them that DX chop! Swoggle, you and I have some things in common. We’re on SD, and we’re here to make a big impression. And you’re here to get in trouble, aren’t you? You have a hard time expressing yourself, don’t ya? How about I teach you how to speak some Canadian? Take off, ey!
Swoggle - Ey! Ey!
Christian - Ya hoser.
Swoggle - Ho. Ho. HOSER HOSER HOSER!
Christian - This is important - Hockey!
Swoggle - Hock. Hockey! HOCKEY!
Christian - This may be the most important word in the Canadian language - BEER!
Swoggle - BE BE BEER!
Vickie - EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME! I AM THE OFFICIAL CONSULTANT OF SD, AND I’M SHUTTING DOWN THIS PEEP SHOW. THIS IS YOUR NUMBER 1 GUEST!? EXCUSE ME! Christian, no one is here to see this creepy little troll. You’re just teaching him info about the most useless country in the world, Canada!
Christian - There was another word I was gonna teach him before you interrupted - OBESITY! I have another one, MOOSE! Swoggle, can you say moose?
Swoggle - MOO MOOSE! MOOSE!
Chavo - YOU CAN’T TALK TO MY AUNT VICKIE THAT WAY!
(after Horny climbs in a basket)Striker - Hornswoggle’s a basket case.
Grisham - MVP - the franchise playa.
Striker - What did I say about using that word?
Grisham - Can I say “player”?
Striker - Yes you may.
(on the Punk bald photo)Striker - It’s like Dr. Evil and Ox Baker.
Grisham - Big Show’s ring size is the same as a can of Coke!
Striker - Drew McIntyre DDT’d Matt Hardy on the floor. WWE HALL OF FAMER RICKY THE DRAGON STEAMBOAT took a DDT on the floor from Jake “the Snake” Roberts and later retired - citing that as a reason!
Striker - SWAGS THE DOG IS BARKING LOUD!
Striker - SWAGGER’S ATTACKING THE SAME RIGHT HAND THAT SHOW USES TO PUNCH!
Grisham - And to choke slam!
 
Pleasant surprise there, assuming he gives a shit again. Oh, and Hall was arrested on the Thursday before the TNA PPV for being intoxicated. So of course they reward him with a PPV payday despite the Freebird rules being set up for the team. Quinton Jackson is going to be one of the guest hosts for Raw on 6/7 - it'll be surreal to see a modern-day UFC fighter involved in one of the biggest fights in history just one week before this on WWE's flagship show.
 
[quote name='JaytheGamefan']Pleasant surprise there, assuming he gives a shit again. Oh, and Hall was arrested on the Thursday before the TNA PPV for being intoxicated. So of course they reward him with a PPV payday despite the Freebird rules being set up for the team. Quinton Jackson is going to be one of the guest hosts for Raw on 6/7 - it'll be surreal to see a modern-day UFC fighter involved in one of the biggest fights in history just one week before this on WWE's flagship show.[/QUOTE]

If some roster cuts have to be made, he would be at the top of my list.

As far as the spoiler two posts up, makes me wonder if the WWE had no interest in re-signing him. Kinda suprising since TNA has been talking about making cuts.
 
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