[quote name='Kayden']Very often, mean is determined by tone and attitude rather than the message itself.
Through proper use of framing, tact and word choice, you can state the same this as someone who would be considered "mean", and not give the same impression at all.
That very thing could be said to Lina... actually, I think I did say it to her.
Very, very true Kayden. That's a worthwhile point and I see no need to dispute it.
A great many CAGs come of as mean in thier posts.
However, with the what you're saying Kayden, you'll still end up appearing mean, regardless of your lack of intent.
"With the what"? Huh? I don't recall a single instance of sounding mean to Lina.... a lot of other people, yes... but not her. I know I've been very short, but honest none the less.
Actually, I was refering more to that than anything else. I can't remember a time that you were hostile or greatly negative towards Lina, though I can remember when you have been negative to others, and many of those times I felt you really hurt the point your were making because it was so seeped in negativity that you blunted the impact of the points you were trying to make.
Saying that your actions are a consequence of thiers just seems rather short sighted. One does not have to overreact, lash out or state things in an overbearingly negative fashion.
If I wasn't brash and outlandish, would I be me? One doesn't need to make up songs to get a girl's attention, but it hasn't slowed you down any. :lol:
If I didn't enjoy doing it, then it would be an issue and unhealthy.
However, I enjoy parodizing songs and other such exploits.
Its not exactly like this is a new facet of my character that just sprung from nowhere... I've been posting these for over a year now.
In fact, not being able to not being able to remove an emotional context form what you are saying speaks of a rather niave sort of ignorance...
words have power, and should be selected carefully.
I can remove emotional connotations from what I say... but then I sound rather dull. However, I wasn't blaming Lina for being who she is, I said if she didn't want me to say things she didn't like, she shouldn't give me cause to say them. She can act however she desires, I'll just call her on it, as I will anyone. I'd expect everyone to be equally honest with me. I didn't say she needed to change or that she should nor did I ostricize her (this time) for saying what she says. I just call em like I see em.
Viewed conversationally, that's probably not an issue.
However, "calling them like you see them", and being emotionally invested in what you say some times hurts that message that you are trying to get across.
While it can help at times, adding a little extra force, you do so at the peril of looking brutish.
Just because you think something isn't always a reason to say it... and more often than not, you can impart the same knowledge much more successfully if you consider a more reasonable way of initially stating it.
Have you ever seen the Golden Girls? I'm like the old mom that had the seizure. I just say what I think when I think it. It gets me in trouble, but people tend to respect me for my honesty.
Honesty should be respected, however, so should tact.
And with that, I'm gone before you knew I was here.
:lol:
