[quote name='Brak']Because I am a kind and merciful Roman god; the Roman god of Masturbation.[/QUOTE]
...Except that flicking a piece of gum at your back would completely throw you out of commission. :|
Braximus
Strengths:
Can wear knit caps
Has an outrageously hairy chest
Weaknesses:
Back is made of balsa wood
Digestive systems gets so clogged even Drano can't fix it