The "Jeff Hardy is out of wrestling and in jail" wrestling topic

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Well after thinking about the Dragon Gate stuff I picked up the PPV DVD and their best of off of their website. I hope its as good as everyone says it is.
 
The show started off great with an awesome video package, then Batista and Kane had a bad match highlighted by Batista doing a slow walking Batista bomb while Grisham acted astonished. The party stuff was amusing. I thought Jericho's wacky facial expressions were among his funniest ever, and Shieky being either humbled or Heimliched by Hurricane was funny. Vickie's return was done pretty well, and I like that she'll be used to try and get a new guy over. Escobar didn't say much, but had some kind of presence to him, so that's good. Punk declaring this the PROHIBITION ERA of SmackDown ruled.

Match-wise, this wasn't such a great show outside of the main event, which was a good, old school-style match highlighted by Orton just beating the daylights out of Cena with a million forearms to the chest. While the matches mostly underwhelmed, the promos didn't - it was a night of awesome mic work. Rock's promo was a classic, and really highlighted just how sterile most promos are now. His was full of life and put the PPV over as a bigger deal in five minutes than WWE had done in weeks. Just mentioning Dolph and Punk in this epic promo raises their stature a bit - sure, he mocked them, but he mocks everyone, and didn't mention anyone else by name except for 'Taker. Speaking of which, his promo was really good, and made it seem like not only will he win the title on Sunday, but he'll massacre Punk in the process.

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Quotes -

Grisham - WHAT A WAY TO OPEN THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY OF SMACKDOWN CELEBRATION! BATISTA VERSUS KANE!
J.R. - Kane is attacking the NON-DOMINANT ARM OF BATISTA!
(after a slow walking Batista Bomb)Grisham - WHAT AN ATHLETIC FEAT OF EPIC PROPORTIONS!
Brawler - HOW ‘BOUT DEM YANKEES!?
Long - Sorry, but I’m not a Yankees fan.
(after Horny slaps Maria’s ass)Cole - VINTAGE HORNSWOGGLE!
Long - I’ll have a Diet Pespi.
Finlay - Diet Pepsi? No. Hornswoggle, FOUR IRISH WHISKEYS!
Cole - VINTAGE FINLAY!
Punk - Don’t you drink that!
Cole - VINTAGE PUNK!
Punk - Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves? AS LONG AS I’M HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION, NO MORE ALCOHOL! PROHIBITION RULES! Watch the main event and find out why Straight Edge rules!
Vickie - EXCUSE ME!
Long - Thanks for coming.
Vickie - I cannot believe you lifted the Undertaker’s Hell’s Gate submission…some people just don’t have a backbone to run this show.
Escobar - I hope I’m not interrupting anything.
Long - Who and what are you?
Vickie - This is my hot, little boyfriend - Eric.
Escobar - I’m gonna introduce to the world…ESSSSCOOOBARRRRR!
Vickie - Don’t you know about him? This is your show - Mr. McMahon signed him today, and allowed me to return to SmackDown! You okay….
Santinotaker - THEODORE LONG! This is a great costume party!
Cole - VINTAGE SHRIMP!
Cole - Hornswoggle, get me more SHRIMP! GET IT!? (Horny kicks him)
MVP - SHEIKY BABY! I SHOW YOU!
Ryder - YOU’RE GONNA LET DA SHEIK IN AND NOT ZACH RYDER!?
Sheiky - YOU KNOW IT, JABRONI!
J.R. - Look who’s starting this match - the Miz and Morrison!
Grisham - I hope they’re still on each others’ Christmas card lists!
Grisham - Who has the advantage in the three-way? Is it Kofi with his fresh outta the gym hops!?
J.R. - I know that you’re seeing a man who WWE officials are looking towards as the future of World Wrestling Entertainment.
Grisham - The same can be said for Jack Swagger.
Grisham - Kofi, from Ghana, West Africa. Spends a lot of time in Jamaica.
Yoshi - SEXY BOY!
Funaka - I’M NOT YOUR BOY TOY!
Sheiky - IRAN!
Slaughter - USA! YOU MAGGOT! (Sheiky chokes, Hurricane gives him the heimlich)
Jericho - Hey! Hey! (tells Show to yell)
Show - HEY!
Jericho - We should be the guests of honor since we were on the debut of SD ten years ago. We have the most longevity in SD history. Start showing us the respect we deserve.
(after Cole pukes on Jericho)Styles - OH MY GOD!
Grisham - This is where the Declaration of Independence was read, J.R. 1776 - you were just a baby then.
Rock - Hello, DWAYNE JOHNSON has returned to Friday nights…that doesn’t feel right. The People’s Champion has found his way to the WWE…Nah…One more time…Hygenically, the great one’s breath has never been better…that’s money! That’s not the one. I KNOW! Spiritually, the Brahma Bull is one with nature. WOW! THAT SUCKED! Who in the blue Hell is Dolph Ziggler? Is that my latte? FINALLY! Wait… THAT’S IT! FINALLY! FINALLY! ON THE SHOW HE STARTED! HE PUT ON THE MAP! THE SHOW NAMED AFTER HIM! FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO SMACK DOWN! Take this mic, turn it sideways and shove it straight up your…10 YEARS SMACKDOWN HAS BEEN ON THE AIR AND ROCK WAS THERE WHEN IT ALL BEGAN! FROM THE DAY THE ROCK SAID THE WORDS THAT CHANGED THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE - LAYING THE SMACKDOWN ON ALL YOUR CANDY ASSES! UNLEASHING THE ROCK BOTTOM AND WHEN THE ROCK’S BABY LEFT HIM AND HE FOUND A NEW PLACE TO DWELL AT THE SMACKDOWN HOTEL! I KNOW I SOUND GOOD, I’M THE ROCK! From the first time the Rock walked out on SD as WWE CHAMPION AND EVERYONE FROM BERLIN TO BOSTON WAS CHANTING THE ROCK’S NAME…. NOW, TEN YEARS LATER…ROCK WANTS TO HEAR IT AGAIN! THEY WERE CHANTING THE ROCK’S NAME…. (fans chant Rocky) Now, 10 years later…who’s champion now? Some guy named CM Punk…(fans boo) Straight edge dude. Doesn’t drink, smoke, and sits down when he’s using the toilet. Don’t call him CM Punk, he should be called BM Punk. For Bowel Movement, which is what the audience wants to take when you start talking! The Rock has never faced Punk, but I have faced Punk’s opponent - THE UNDERTAKER! The Rock and the Undertaker have history - WE’VE MADE HISTORY! SOLD OUT ARENAS ALL AROUND THE WORLD! ROCK WAS WHOOPING THE UNDERTAKER’S ASS ALL OVER THE WORLD! Well, not technically. I won once. By disqualificationn. Let’s edit. Why? BECAUSE THE UNDERTAKER IS 6 FOOT 10 AND I DON’T WANNA GET TOMBSTONED. Are you arguing with me? COME HERE! Have you ever been tombstoned? SHUT YOUR MOUTH! You think it’s some kind of pleasant experience!? IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK. Nice shirt, Prada. Shave that! THAT’S DISTURBING! But not as disturbing as this Sunday night. HELL IN THE CELL, THERE’S GONNA BE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! THE ROCK SAYS THERE’S GONNA BE A NEW WORLD CHAMPION! A NEW ERA WILL BE BORN! BUT NO MATTER WHAT, THIS SHOW WILL ALWAYS BELONG TO THE JABRONI-BEATING, PIE-EATING, AND NOW THAT HE’S TRIED SMACKDOWN, IT’S TIME FOR HIM TO GUEST HOST RAW… THE ROCK WILL BE THE MOST ELECTRIFYING HOST THEY’VE EVER SEEN! THERE’S ONLY ONE…IF YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!
J.R. - Tell ‘em how they are.
Grisham - There’s Kelly, Maria…
J.R. - NOT THEIR NAMES!
Grisham- They’re smart, powerful…
J.R. - SMART, SEXY, AND POWERFUL!
J.R. - Kelly was drinking earlier - she won’t be driving home. They’re responsible young women.
J..R - Boy, I set you and no one can drop the ball like you.
Grisham - IT’S DIVAS, DIVAS, EVERYWHERE!
J.R. - We’re seeing a pier-six brawl!
Grisham - It’s like a Boston massacre!
Taker - CM Punk, you re about to enter the domain of the Undertaker. The domain of eternal suffering. A place where there is no forgiveness. I WILL RECLAIM THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP and in the process, knock you from the black forest of self-righteousness. And the pills and alcohol that you despise you soon will crave. You soon will need. Welcome to Hell’s playground! Welcome to Satan’s structure! Welcome to Hell in a Cell!
Grisham - IT’S THE BIGGEST PARTY BOSTON HAS SEEN SINCE THE BOSTON TEA PARTY - THE TENTH ANNIVERSARY OF SMACKDOWN!
Drew - I’ve got something I wanna say! As the newest member of SD, I’d like to make a toast - here’s to SD - here’s to your future world champion. HERE’S TO DREW MCINTYRE! Here’s to the party just getting started! (Truth attacks)
Roberts - THIS IS THE BIGGEST 8-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH IN THE HISTORY OF SMACKDOWN!
Grisham - Why do WWE parties always end with a catastrophic ending?
J.R. - THIS SHOULD BE A MIND-BENDING 8-MAN TAG!
J.R. - WHAT A CHOP! Can I do that to you later?
Grisham - Um, you can try.
J.R. - THE WORLD CHAMPION GOT A NEAR-FALL ON THE WWE CHAMPION! HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE THAT!?
J.R. - Cena LITERALLY WILLS HIMSELF OFF THE CANVAS!
J.R. - There’s no question that Legacy is a big part of WWE’s future - and the only question is WHEN WILL THAT HAPPEN!? WILL IT BE SUNDAY!? The sons of DiBiase and Rhodes - two of the most famous names in the annals of WWE history!
Grisham - RIGHT NOW, CENA APPEARS TO BE JUST A MERE MORTAL!
J.R. - HARLEY RACE HIGH KNEE!
J.R. - DOUBLE A SPINEBUSTER!
Grisham - IT’S A LONELY MAN’S ALLEY FOR RANDY ORTON!
J.R. - RANDY ORTON, ON THIS NIGHT, WILL REST IN PEACE!
 
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