The Macho Man Randy Savage Wrestling Memorial Thread

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[quote name='mykevermin']The pic I saw of Evans on the Impact Wrestling website the other day looked odd. Has he given up on his obnoxious B-Boy gimmick? I always thought that shit was going to print money for him one day.[/QUOTE]
He still does it, but he ditched the doo-rag and grew his hair out. He looks like a greasier Jimmy Rave now.

EDIT - Goddamn, Christopher Daniels has terrible theme music.
 
[quote name='silentevil']Why isn't Taz announcing?[/QUOTE]

He has some kind of family commitment or something. Why couldn't TNA use Don West is my real question?
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']Jerry Lynn carried RVD's sorry ass through that match.[/QUOTE]

That makes me a sad panda.

First, I like both guys and their old matches are pretty amazing.

Second, I realized that the last time I was regularly watching their matches was like 12 fucking years ago and while I'm gainfully employed, college-degreed, and all that, I still feel like the same person. Although my back hurts more now so there's that.
 
[quote name='OnyxPrimal']ugh.. Overbooked and made the X-Division look super weak....[/QUOTE]

It was a bullshit finish but how else is Kendrick going to beat Abyss? The important thing is that Abyss dropped the belt. The X-Division came out to stop Kendrick from getting shit on by like five guys. There was a celebration and confetti when he won. They did a good job of making the X-Division and title look important.
 
[quote name='Trakan']It was a bullshit finish but how else is Kendrick going to beat Abyss? The important thing is that Abyss dropped the belt. The X-Division came out to stop Kendrick from getting shit on by like five guys. There was a celebration and confetti when he won. They did a good job of making the X-Division and title look important.[/QUOTE]

There is something to be said for the Underdog edging out a victory over the big man. I was hoping for Kendrick to just upset Abyss after taking a ton punishment and just never giving up. I still think that the Whole X division being needed to fight off 4-5 guys just makes them look far less than their heavyweight counterparts. I have no problem with Kendrick getting the belt or the celebration. Those are two things that were done right. :)
 
[quote name='silentevil']Why isn't Taz announcing?[/QUOTE]

Because someone in management woke up and realized just how shitty he is on the mic? Drunken Don West was awesome . Shit, even Mike Adamle is better than Taz.......
 
Hmm.. semi-spoiler for Money in the Bank, because I'm sure that something will happen..

Colt Cabana, who performed in WWE as Scotty Goldman, noted on Art Of Wrestling that he would be attending Money in the Bank.
 
[quote name='Spyder187']Because someone in management woke up and realized just how shitty he is on the mic? Drunken Don West was awesome . Shit, even Mike Adamle is better than Taz.......[/QUOTE]

I'm certainly not going to defend most of Taz's commentary but you might need to go back and listen to Adamle again.

"Jamaican me crazy" indeed.
 
[quote name='Scorch']Hmm.. semi-spoiler for Money in the Bank, because I'm sure that something will happen..

Colt Cabana, who performed in WWE as Scotty Goldman, noted on Art Of Wrestling that he would be attending Money in the Bank.
[/QUOTE]

Spoiler tagged I guess

As close as the two of them are I would be more surprised if Colt wasn't in attendance next Sunday.
 
[quote name='Habbler']Spoiler tag I guess.

I will be at money in the bank too. :cool:
[/QUOTE]

Spoiler tag for the joke

Jealous. In all honesty I had debated heading to Chicago for it, but the money just wasn't there.
 
[quote name='cdubb1605']Spoiler tag for the joke

Jealous. In all honesty I had debated heading to Chicago for it, but the money just wasn't there.
[/QUOTE]

Spoiler tag for the joke

You mean it wasn't in the bank?
 
Is the state of professional wrestling better than it was a year ago?

WWE Money in the Bank 2010
Dark Santino Marella defeated William Regal[17][unreliable source?] Singles match Unknown
1 Kane defeated The Big Show, Matt Hardy, Christian, Kofi Kingston, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler[9] SmackDown's Money in the Bank ladder match 26:18
2 Alicia Fox (c) defeated Eve Torres[18] Singles match for the WWE Divas Championship 05:52
3 The Hart Dynasty (David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd (with Natalya)) (c) defeated The Usos (Jey and Jimmy Uso) (with Tamina) via submission[19] Tag team match for the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship 05:53
4 Rey Mysterio (c) defeated Jack Swagger[20] Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship 10:43
5 Kane defeated Rey Mysterio (c) Singles match for the World Heavyweight Championship 00:54
6 Layla (c) (with Michelle McCool) defeated Kelly Kelly (with Tiffany)[21] Singles match for the WWE Women's Championship 03:56
7 The Miz defeated Ted DiBiase, Chris Jericho, Edge, Evan Bourne, John Morrison, Randy Orton and Mark Henry[22] Raw's Money in the Bank ladder match 20:26
8 Sheamus (c) defeated John Cena[23] Steel Cage match for the WWE Championship 23:00

WWE Money in the Bank 2011
1 Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Alex Riley vs. R-Truth vs. The Miz vs. Evan Bourne vs. Jack Swagger Raw's Money in the Bank ladder match[8]
2 Kane vs. Sin Cara vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Wade Barrett vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Justin Gabriel vs. Heath Slater vs. Sheamus SmackDown's Money in the Bank ladder match[9]
3 Kelly Kelly (c) vs. Brie Bella Singles match for the WWE Divas Championship[10]
4 John Cena (c) vs. CM Punk Singles match for the WWE Championship. If Punk leaves Chicago with the title, Cena will be fired.[11]
5 Big Show vs. Mark Henry Singles match[12]
6 Randy Orton (c) vs. Christian

TNA Destination X 2010

1 Kazarian defeated Daniels, Amazing Red and Brian Kendrick Ladder match to become number one contender to the TNA X Division Championship 13:38
2 Tara (c) defeated Daffney Singles match for the TNA Women's Knockout Championship 6:42
3 Rob Terry (c) defeated Magnus Singles match for the TNA Global Championship 1:23
4 The Motor City Machineguns (Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley) defeated Generation Me (Max and Jeremy Buck) Ultimate X Match to become number one contenders to the TNA World Tag Team Championship 12:03
5 The Band (Scott Hall and Syxx-Pac) defeated Kevin Nash and Eric Young Tag Team match; due to their victory, Hall and Syxx-Pac receive TNA contracts. 7:56
6 Doug Williams (c) defeated Shannon Moore Singles match for the TNA X Division Championship 6:19
7 Matt Morgan and Hernandez (c) defeated Beer Money, Inc. (Robert Roode and James Storm) Tag team match for the TNA World Tag Team Championship 11:22
8 Kurt Angle defeated Mr. Anderson Singles match 17:36
9 A.J. Styles (c) (with Ric Flair and Chelsea) fought Abyss to a no contest Singles match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship 14:56

TNA Destination X 2011

1 Kazarian defeated Samoa Joe Singles match
2 Douglas Williams defeated Mark Haskins Open Challenge match
3 Eric Young and Shark Boy defeated Generation Me (Max and Jeremy Buck) Tag Team match
4 Alex Shelley defeated Robbie E, Shannon Moore and Amazing Red Ultimate X match to determine the number one contender for the TNA X Division Championship
5 Rob Van Dam defeated Jerry Lynn Singles match
6 Austin Aries defeated Zema Ion, Low Ki and Jack Evans 4-Way match for an exclusive TNA contract
7 Brian Kendrick defeated Abyss (c) Singles match for the TNA X Division Championship
8 A.J. Styles defeated Christopher Daniels Singles match
 
[quote name='JStryke']Spoiler tag for the joke

You mean it wasn't in the bank?
[/QUOTE]

One more for the road

Well played sir.
 
[quote name='neocisco']
Nothing to see hear, I just wanted to get in on the spoiler tag action too.
[/QUOTE]

I see what you did there
 
The full content listing for WWE's upcoming OMG! The Top 50 Incidents in WWE History DVD has been released.

It is scheduled for release in North America on August 23 via three-disc DVD and a two-disc Blu-ray set.

OMG! The Top 50 Incidents in WWE History DVD (3 Discs)

OMG! The Top 50 Incidents in WWE History counts down the most outrageous moments in the history of WWE. What moments will make the cut, the top 10, and what is the greatest moment of all time? Is it the King of the Ring tournament where Austin 3:16 was born? Mick Foley’s devastating fall of the top of the Hell in a Cell cage? The Montreal Screwjob? The explosion that consumed Mr. McMahon’s limo? This three-disc set is the perfect release for fans that love to debate which moments where their favorites.

Disc 1

Introduction

# 50 - Seeing Double – 5th February, 1988

# 49 – Nexus is Here – 7th June, 2010

# 48 – Chokeslam to Hell - 7th June, 1999

# 47 – Backlot Brawl – 31st March, 1996

# 46 – Wedding Surprise – 7th September, 1991

# 45 – Cena’s Feat of Strength – 5th April, 2009

# 44 – Concrete Crypt - 27th June, 2004

# 43 – DX Invades WCW – 27th April, 1998

# 42 – Dumpster Stage Dive – 2nd February, 1998

# 41 – Grocery Store Attack – 13th December, 2001

# 40 – Triple H Meets Escalator – 8th February, 1997

# 39 – Tim White Tries to End it All

# 38 – Bischoff - New Raw GM – 15th July, 2002

# 37 – Orton Thumbtacks – 18th April, 2004

# 36 – Unholy Wedding – 26th April, 1999

# 35 – Mad Dog Vachon Loses Leg – 28th April, 1996

# 34 - Haiti Kid Gets Haircut - 7th March, 1986

# 33 – Hospital Visiting Hours – 5th October, 1998

# 32 – Jarrett Plays a Number with Moolah – 9th September, 1999

# 31 – Edge Cashes in Money in the Bank – 8th January, 2006

# 30 – Got Milk ? - 20th August, 2001

# 29 – Kiss My Ass Club

# 28 – Jeff Hardy Pyro Gone Bad – 16th January, 2009

# 27 – Austin Blows Up DX Bus – 27th April, 2000

# 26 – Wedding in Vegas – 29th November, 1999

# 25 – Snitsky Punts Baby - 8th November, 2004

# 24 – Concrete Corvette – 12th October, 1998

# 23 – Snake Bites Macho Man – 23rd November, 1991

# 22 – Shane McMahon, Daredevil - 27th August, 2000

# 21 – Barber Shop Window – 11th January, 1992

# 20 – Edge Spears Jeff – 1st April, 2001

# 19 – Kane sets JR on Fire – 14th July, 2003

# 18 – Stone Cold Stuns Mr. McMahon – 22nd September, 1997

# 17 – Kurt and Shane Battle – 24th June, 2001

# 16 – Jeff Swanton off Tron – 14th January, 2008

# 15 – Edge Spears Foley – 2nd April, 2006

# 14 – Stone Cold Zamboni – 28th September, 1998

# 13 – Piper hits Snuka with Coconut – 17th July, 1984

# 12 – WWE buys WCW – 26th March, 2001

# 11 – Unbreakable Mae Young

# 10 – Big Show’s Father’s Funeral – 11th November, 1999

# 9 – Montreal Screwjob – 9th November, 1997

# 8 – Big Show and Brock Lesnar Break Ring – 12th June, 2003

# 7 – Tyson and Austin – 19th January, 1998

# 6 – Mr. McMahon’s Limo Blows Up – 11th June, 2007

# 5 – Sable Handprints - 26th July, 1998

# 4 – Snuka Off the Steel Cage – 17th October, 1983

# 3 – Pillman’s Got a Gun – 4th November, 1996

# 2 – Beer Bath – 22nd March, 1999

# 1 – Mankind thrown off Cell – 28th June, 1998

Disc 2

Rowdy Roddy Piper Gives Haiti Kid a Haircut
Tuesday Night Titans – 7th March, 1986

Jake The Snake Roberts Attacks Macho Man Randy Savage
Superstars – 23rd November, 1991

The Rockers Split on the Barber Shop
Wrestling Challenge – 11th January, 1992

WWE Championship Match
Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel
In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies - 28th April, 1996

Intercontinental Championship Match
Hunter Hearst-Helmsley vs. Undertaker
Shotgun Saturday Night – 8th February, 1997

Stone Cold Stunner to Mr. McMahon
Raw – 22nd September, 1997

Hell in a Cell Match
Mankind vs. Undertaker
King of the Ring – 28th June, 1998

Mr. McMahon’s Ceremony to Crown a New WWE Champion
Raw – 28th September, 1998

Stone Cold Gives the Corporation a Beer Bath
Raw – 22nd March, 1999

Dearly Departed
SmackDown – November 11, 1999

Hardcore Championship Match
Shane McMahon vs. Steve Blackman
SummerSlam – 27th August, 2000

Disc 3

Tables, Ladders & Chairs II for the WWE Tag Team Championship
The Hardy Boyz vs. The Dudley Boyz vs. Edge & Christian
WrestleMania X-7 – 1st April, 2001

Street Fight
Kurt Angle vs. Shane McMahon
King of the Ring – 24th June, 2001

Kurt Angle’s Milk Delivery
Raw – 20th August, 2001

Stone Cold Steve Austin Brawls with Booker T in the Supermarket
SmackDown – 13th December, 2001

WWE Championship Match
Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show
SmackDown – 12th June, 2003

Concrete Crypt Match
Undertaker vs. The Dudley Boyz
Great American Bash – 27th June, 2004

The Highlight Reel with Trish Stratus & Lita
Raw – 8th November, 2004

WWE Championship Match
John Cena vs. Edge
New Year’s Revolution – 8th January, 2006

Hardcore Match
Mick Foley vs. Edge
WrestleMania 22 – 2nd April, 2006

Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night
Raw – 11th June, 2007

Special Feature

Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler’s Outtakes
Click to expand...
 
[quote name='neocisco']I'm certainly not going to defend most of Taz's commentary but you might need to go back and listen to Adamle again.

"Jamaican me crazy" indeed.[/QUOTE]

Adamle's major downfall was he was fed some of the lamest shit in history to say over the headset in an attempt to make him look bad.

Taz says dumb shit on his own thinking it's cool and witty. His self made catchphrase of "Let the pigeons loose" makes Cole's "Vintage" sound like an awesome Rocky promo. Whats even worse is when Taz tries to cash in/mock the vintage catchphrase. Taz was crap on the announce team in WWE, and he was fed lines then. Now hes "freestyling" and its bad enough to make ears bleed at times.

What makes this even worse? The fact Taz has opened a school to train people how to develop personalities and do better promos. I do not look forward to seeing one of those students........
 
[quote name='Spyder187']Adamle's major downfall was he was fed some of the lamest shit in history to say over the headset in an attempt to make him look bad.

Taz says dumb shit on his own thinking it's cool and witty. His self made catchphrase of "Let the pigeons loose" makes Cole's "Vintage" sound like an awesome Rocky promo. Whats even worse is when Taz tries to cash in/mock the vintage catchphrase. Taz was crap on the announce team in WWE, and he was fed lines then. Now hes "freestyling" and its bad enough to make ears bleed at times.

What makes this even worse? The fact Taz has opened a school to train people how to develop personalities and do better promos. I do not look forward to seeing one of those students........[/QUOTE]

Though I haven't seen it, people here have praised the Taz/Cole SD announce team combo. Nothing will be worse than Cole's "vintage" IMO.

I don't love Taz as a commentator, but I do like that he'll point out botches or stupid stuff that happens instead of pretending like they never happened.
 
[quote name='Scorch']The full content listing for WWE's upcoming OMG! The Top 50 Incidents in WWE History DVD has been released.

It is scheduled for release in North America on August 23 via three-disc DVD and a two-disc Blu-ray set.

OMG! The Top 50 Incidents in WWE History DVD (3 Discs)

OMG! The Top 50 Incidents in WWE History counts down the most outrageous moments in the history of WWE. What moments will make the cut, the top 10, and what is the greatest moment of all time? Is it the King of the Ring tournament where Austin 3:16 was born? Mick Foley’s devastating fall of the top of the Hell in a Cell cage? The Montreal Screwjob? The explosion that consumed Mr. McMahon’s limo? This three-disc set is the perfect release for fans that love to debate which moments where their favorites.

[/QUOTE]

They will never...... evvvvvvvver acknowledge the true #1 most shocking Incident in WWE history. In case you aren't sure what I am referring to..... here is a hint
The time that Crispin Wah guy made the company look bad by jumping the gun and making him look good
 
Looking at that DVD list, the thing that jumps out at me is (uh, spoiler, I guess?) the sheer fact that not only is the McMahon limo explosion on there, but that it's so high on the list. To me, while it was a 'shocking' moment, it's hard to talk about it without even a basic acknowledgement of the fact that the entire angle had to basically be scrapped a week later.

This actually goes hand-in-hand with the fact there's an Orton DVD planned for sometime in the next couple of months. It presents an interesting problem, really, one that I'm sure they'll solve in the least controversial way possible (Voiceover: Then, in 2004, Orton won the World Heavyweight title for the first time, but uh oh... HHH was-a anggggggry about it.")

With Orton it's a roadblock they're forced to go through. With that Shocking Moments one, they've elected to feature something that will always be deeply connected with Benoit. As a sidenote, if this was before 2007, no way would that list not include the night the Radicalz showed up. Still a cool moment, though I admit my view is slightly skewed by the fact I was there.
 
I was surprised to see Benoit on the best of Nitro DVD in the return of Flair segment on disc 2. The farther into the past that tragedy goes I think more bits and pieces of his involvement will show up but certainly no outright celebration of him.
 
Very good, rewatchable show overall. Joe-Kazarian's build didn't do a thing for me, which is a shame, because it led to a really good match between the two. Joe's been on kind of an in-ring roll the past couple of months despite his never-ending losing streak, and this was probably his best match in a while - even better than the really good one with Devon. EY's appearance just bugged me. I loved Curry Man coming up with reasons for them not wrestling, but come on now - EY on an X division PPV just seems wrong. It was a waste of Gen Me, who at least got a PPV payday. Williams-Haskins was...really not what I was expecting. I thought okay, they're doing a mystery opponent deal, it'll be some semi-decent name free agent and it winds up being Haskins, who I've never heard of before, but probably should've been in one of those X division three ways so people would've at least known of him in some way because the crowd just did not care about him in the least. It's a shame too because aside from slipping off the top, everything he did looked great, and there were a couple spots I just loved - the over the shoulder stretch by Williams into a turnbuckle ram and the sort of mount-ish type deal where they exchanged headbutts and forearm shots ruled. I hated that the SSP led to a fucking schoolboy and not the Chaos Theory, which would've worked PERFECTLY given that exact setup. Loved the post-match handshake, that was nice and classy there. Austin's promo ruled, and thankfully Val didn't say much of anything. Christy's not great on the mic, but she at least has personality. Val seems like a robot vocally, they have a hot redhead in Hemme...so why is she around exactly? The EY tag was fun, goofy comedy. They at least referenced his X title reign only being a week-long and in '08, which would explain why I had zero recollection of it. Loved Shark Boy gleefully posing with the world title only to have EY take it back. Gen Me at least tried to shine here, but that wasn't their purpose - HERE ON THE X DIVISION PPV.

It was somewhat sad to see the Ultimate X so early on the card given that it was usually a huge deal. Still a fine match though. I enjoyed seeing Moore lift Finlay's ring apron trap, which led to some neat three-man spots. Robbie going into convulsions after being dropkicked off the wires was awesome. Devon would've had to testify to that. Moore using the lighting rig instead of the wires was pretty cool, although it took much longer to actually do that, which kind of violates the logic of having to grab the X quickly. But, like Kofi using the ladder splits, it was illogical, but neat-looking, and at least here, the lighting rig is a more sturdy structure than just using the wires.

Everything about RVD-Lynn ruled. I'm actually glad it happened here instead of on the ECW show since there, it would've been hurt by the stupid blue lighting. I enjoyed RVD's promo where he basically said that this is a match he actually cares about. I got a laugh out of Lynn's entrance video still having no actual match footage despite him being with the company for quite a few years before. JB added something to the commentary here by really putting over how much other wrestlers on the Forever Hardcore doc loved the RVD-Lynn series and how he competed in the first TNA match ever. Really, JB was great here in what was Tenay's role in WCW - the provider of vital information to get you to care about the match, while Tenay just rattled off moves. It's a shame he's limited to Xplosion, because I think I could get behind a JB/Taz team on Impact, and then just have Tenay do sitdown interviews. The match wasn't quite as action-packed as their ECW series, but was at least given more time than their WWE match. I loved Lynn playing the bigger guy who just HAD to win this for himself. It was a subtle heel role and it fit him nicely here. The usage of the chairs was nice, and they actually found a way to use two chairs without overusing chairs at all. One was used for the legdrop/faceplant deal and another was used for an incredible sunset powerbomb where RVD just launched himself 3/4 of the way across the ring, backwards, to hit the chair perfectly. I don't know how he can still do that at 40, or how Lynn can work such a fast-paced style at 48 and after back surgery. The latter spot led to an AWESOME near-fall, but the chair usage was Lynn's downfall, as he ate the Van Daminator and five star. Lynn continued his losing streak to RVD, which made me sad since I thought Lynn really should've won the TV Title from him in '99, but oh well, I actually don't mind RVD being the ONE GUY he just can't beat no matter what.

The 4-way was nuts and more of a highlight reel match than anything else on the show. I liked that they didn't go with the obvious finish of whoever won beating Ion, who I was certain was just in the match to lose. Instead, he shined nicely, got some new, decent-looking gear, and looked like he belonged in there with three world-traveled stars. I loved Evans doing an elaborate handstand right into a sick elbow from Aries, and Low-Ki just drilling Aries with a kick during a suicide dive attempt. Aries, just like on Impact, worked like a man with a point to prove. I think he feels this is his last shot at something resembling the big-time. He knows ROH isn't an option, WWE didn't even want him for Tough Enough, and his prior runs in TNA didn't work out well, now it's basically five years after he had the very first match on a Spike Impact and he's at the same point career wise, just with five more years of bumps and bruises.

Abyss-Kendrick was pretty much what I expected - absolutely nothing special in any way. Abyss killed the jobber, read, and only then was Kendrick able to get the upper hand with a forearm that either legit split Abyss open, or he'll just blade for anything. Bischoff came out to remind everyone that he is truly the star of every fucking thing involving TNA. Immortal beat him down before, as Tenay called them "X-DIVISION" of Red, Gen Me, and Shark Boy came to make the save. Of course, with the odds in the young guys' favor, the old, but BIG guys beat up the younger, but SMALL AND PUNY men. It took about a dozen of them to get rid of Immortal, including thankfully normal-sized guys like Williams. And then Kendrick won the title with a fucking cradle. WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THE CRADLE FINISHES!? Jesus Christ, even EY was able to use an actual finisher. This was supposed to be the culmination of a months-long angle involving an entire division being oppressed by a regime that didn't believe in them only to show that yes, they can not only hang with the big guys, but beat them, and...the victory occurs via the same cradle Kaz used in the opener after the population of a small nation interfered. This sucked. The right guy won, he got a confetti celebration, but it doesn't matter - he didn't win clean, so the win didn't help him, the match was bad, and he'll probably just lose it on Impact.

JB did an awesome job setting up AJ-Daniels and FINALLY made this match seem like a match worthy of the main event by saying that AJ was seen in a small show in Georgia (presumably NWA Wildside), and was hired by TNA based on that, and now, it's time for him to close the show of a division that was patterned after a style he popularized in TNA. Goddamn - make this guy the lead analyst on Impact because he treats everything like it matters. If there's a plausible way for it to matter, he'll at least try to make you want to see it - just like Tenay doing the Nitro luchador stuff. As a match, it was technically very good, but just felt like every other match they've had together in TNA, even with some new stuff like the plancha to the back and the apron suplex. I'm glad they didn't do a Daniels heel turn, but the match just didn't do a whole lot for me. I like that AJ busted out the Spiral Tap, but it didn't really hit, so that too hurt the finish. I loved the post-match stuff. Daniels was conflicted, but ultimately didn't just shake AJ's hand, but he hugged him. Another great, classy ending.

Screens -

Tenay from the Future and Tenay Present...
























Quotes -
Joe - YA BITCH!
Tenay - Because Kazarian isn’t part of the dozen in the BFG Series, this match won’t be a part of it. That will continue on Thursday.
Tenay - DID HE GET IT, DID HE GET THE TOUCH!? YES!
Crowd - MUSCLE BUSTER! MUSCLE BUSTER!
Curry Man - ERIC-A, KONICHIAWA!
EY - I’m a former X Division champion - I NEED A TAG PARTNER TONIGHT!
Curry Man - WE…CANNOT WRESTLE. Suicide, injured, Sangriento, no visa, and…. I have a title match in Tokyo tomorrow against Cody Deaner! That’s why only signing today! Good ruck!
Shark Boy - YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH, IF YOU NEED A PARTNER, YOU’VE GOT ONE.
EY - You’ll be my partner?
Shark Boy - OH SHELL YEAH!
JB - Look who’s coming - MARK HASKINS! He may be a stranger to many watching, but not to the fans in the U.K. Anyone who attended our UK shows saw him, and now, seven months later, he’s accepting the challenge of Douglas Williams.
Douglas - Gentlemen, I’ve got this. Leave it to me, please.
Crowd - WHO ARE YOU!? WHO ARE YOU!?
Douglas - Hey you! I’m surprised you accepted my open challenge. Mr. Mark Haskins, a fellow countyrman no less. Actually, I’m not that shocked - because after all, you made such an impression on the European tour that people told me you were the next great X division star to come out of the UK. And you are great - BUT YOU’RE NO DOUGLAS WILLIAMS! Lemme give ya some advice, son, it’s one thing to wrestle in front of your hometown, and it’s another to wrestle live on PPV. I hope you brought your A-game, because quite frankly, you’re gonna need it!
Val - What is your strategy going into this match?
Aries - First Val, I’ve gotta say you look very nice this evening. Not quite an outfit of the year candidate, but I’ll give ya 3 stars. You all watching this, you’re watching this PPV because you think wrestling matters. So I want all those true fans who’ve paid to watch to listen carefully, and those watching via an illegal stream to listen carefully as well, but I hope you choke on whatever unhealthy food you’re eating. There’s something important that needs to be said. Perception and reality, Val. I’m not a vanilla midget. I’m not a spot monkey. I don’t just do flips - I’m the most complete and polished pro wrestler in this industry. There’s not a man on the Impact roster that I can’t defeat. It’s a big night for Impact Wrestling, because tonight, they can add a man to their roster that like the X division, has no limits. Tonight, I’m going to defeat three very good wrestlers. While they’re very good, they’re not great, they’re not the greatest man who ever lived - A Double, Austin Aries.
EY - Here, you can take this one. (Sharky poses with TNA world title) Nah, I WANT IT!
Cookie - GET UP THEREEEEEE! GET IT, ROBBIE!
RVD - When I get a chance to really go, you see why they call me Mr. PPV.
JB - In 2005, I produced a documentary on ECW called Forever Hardcore, and I interviewed dozens of wrestlers, and they all said the RVD-Lynn matchups were among the most exciting matches not only in ECW, but in all of wrestling at the time.
JB - Jerry Lynn also competed in the first match in the history of this company.
Crowd - This is awesome! Sign them all!
Kendrick - COME ON, MONSTER!
Tenay - HERE COMES X DIVISION!
Tenay - KENDRICK DID IT!
JB - The X division was patterned in the style that AJ Styles brought to the table.
 
[quote name='neocisco']I was surprised to see Benoit on the best of Nitro DVD in the return of Flair segment on disc 2. The farther into the past that tragedy goes I think more bits and pieces of his involvement will show up but certainly no outright celebration of him.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I'm happy we've gotten to a point where he's at least not outright excised from footage, which is about as good as I think we're going to get. The only step after that is including matches against him in select-compilation releases, but that's a long, long way off. It's a shame, too, because a ton of releases like the Jericho DVD and Best of Nitro are significantly weaker because of it. Understandable, though.

Still, we're a far cry from the days of the Austin DVD where they literally butchered matches in order to not show him.

We're talking about Benoit himself, though, which is a totally different animal than what that Shocking Moments DVD brings up. The limo explosion doesn't just have a direct connection to Benoit, but to the actual incident itself, which is a hugely important difference. I defy anyone who was watching around that time to hear 'limo explosion' and not immediatly think about the speech from the Raw originally planned for the funeral. I'm really of the opinion that it's impossible to separate them.

I don't know, maybe I'm being overly sensitive about it, but it just strikes me in a foul way. It was a good piece of TV, fine, but sometimes you just have to let things evaporate into history. Bringing it back up in this way just smacks of ego... I mean, let's not let a little thing like a murder-suicide get in the way of reminding people about that bitchin' time we blew up a limo, amirite?
 
[quote name='007']

This actually goes hand-in-hand with the fact there's an Orton DVD planned for sometime in the next couple of months. It presents an interesting problem, really, one that I'm sure they'll solve in the least controversial way possible (Voiceover: Then, in 2004, Orton won the World Heavyweight title for the first time, but uh oh... HHH was-a anggggggry about it.")
[/QUOTE]

The Orton DVD is due in September and it's funny that you mention this because I said as much over on Amazon about the match listing. He's still (I think) the youngest ever world champion and his DVD won't have the match of him winning that accolade on it. I realize that not everyone's first world title win is their most important one (see Ric Flair as NWA champion in like 1979, bleh) but when it is connected to a record as Orton's is, the absence is really jarring.

Goddammit Benoit, why'd you have to do that shit?
 
[quote name='Halo05']
Goddammit Benoit, why'd you have to do that shit?[/QUOTE]

I find myself saying this every time I go through a tape or DVD and forget he was on the card or compilation. As a husband and father I just can't put my head around what he did to his wife and son. It makes me sad to even see him.
 
[quote name='JJSP']Generation Me are gone from TNA. They mentioned on Twitter that they'd asked for their release effective today.[/QUOTE]
Losing to EY and Sharkboy will do that to you. :cry:
 
[quote name='Spyder187']Taz says dumb shit on his own thinking it's cool and witty. His self made catchphrase of "Let the pigeons loose" makes Cole's "Vintage" sound like an awesome Rocky promo. Whats even worse is when Taz tries to cash in/mock the vintage catchphrase. Taz was crap on the announce team in WWE, and he was fed lines then. Now hes "freestyling" and its bad enough to make ears bleed at times.

What makes this even worse? The fact Taz has opened a school to train people how to develop personalities and do better promos. I do not look forward to seeing one of those students........[/QUOTE]

You must be a youngling, as the pigeons reference makes perfect sense. Scrappy women are sometimes referred to as pigeons, as guys are referred to as scrubs. Remember that TLC song, No Scrubs? See the guys version of the song by Sporty Thievez, No Pigeons.

As for Taz's commentary, its quite .... questionable. In his prime, his in ring skills and promo skills speak for themselves though.
 
[quote name='mogamer']Losing to EY and Sharkboy will do that to you. :cry:[/QUOTE]
I figured it was because they were getting paid peanuts. Hope they go to ROH or somewhere else so they can make a living.
 
[quote name='mogamer']Losing to EY and Sharkboy will do that to you. :cry:[/QUOTE]

They also got beat on Impact by Bischoff a month or so ago. TNA never really seemed to get behind them, even with the Guns being on the shelf and that being a perfect time to push them, so yeah, just go to ROH and have a fresh feud with WGTT. That'll work out fine for everyone, especially WGTT, who will have two guys to just toss around at their leisure.
 
[quote name='Halo05']Goddammit Benoit, why'd you have to do that shit?[/QUOTE]

[quote name='OnyxPrimal']As a husband and father I just can't put my head around what he did to his wife and son. It makes me sad to even see him.[/QUOTE]

Dementia due to severe and irreparable brain damage. He wasn't Chris Benoit any more.
 
[quote name='Survivalism']Dementia due to severe and irreparable brain damage. He wasn't Chris Benoit any more.[/QUOTE]

I know that. I'm sure everyone else does also. It dosen't change the fact: that is all he'll ever be know for now and that A mother and her son are dead. It makes me sad. I guess it always will.
 
I understand that Benoit was out of his mind (and I mean that literally, not in a funny way). It doesn't make it less painful for me or probably anyone else. It makes me condemn him less and it makes me worry about other wrestlers more, but yeah, I still think about it every year around my birthday (great birthday present) and it's never happy.
 
The Punk-Cena opening was 14 minutes of greatness, just pure greatness. They brought up the bullshit of Cena's last firing, and gave Punk a new prop to work with - A MEGAPHONE. This ruled. Then Cena came out and said that he's tired of Punk running his mouth and on Sunday, he's going to whoop his ass...then they went and fucked things up by having the GM ding. COMPLETELY killed the awesome flow the show had here, as it led to the typical WWE Champ vs. Tag Champs match. This went maybe two minutes before yet another break, and then came back with a McChinlock. Utter death for the heat of this angle. The fans went from white hot to sitting on their hands thanks to this shit. The tag champs have developed a single tag move - an inverted atomic drop/dropkick combo. Cena kicked out, locked s super-shitty STF on Hennig forever, was saved by Otunga, who was then thrown out of the ring leaving Cena to FU Hennig and beat him. Cole put the title over too hard in this. He started with a ridiculous statement comparing the WWE Title being taken to Old Glory being taken away from the U.S., which would've made a better final point instead of a starting one. Loved all the shoutouts to past major WWE champs...except Hogan. Angle got namedropped by Cena, but Hogan was left out completely.

The Mark Henry video saved the show. This RULED. Then Dolph and Vickie did comedy, this was okay, then Drew came out and did a Vince impression that was great...then they went with bad breath jokes and it started to suck, then Vince appeared after bathing in self-tanner, and it got worse because he made ANOTHER HANDICAP MATCH. This led to a divas match, which was short, but not good, and the Bellas were terrible on commentary. Now they're saying a woman is too skinny. A company that once employed Michelle McCool is saying this about Kelly Kelly. And then they kept insulting her, fucking up their lines, leading to Eve coming out and Cole, who minutes before was selling how important the WWE Title was, making an idiot out of himself by insulting Eve and Kelly. Rey's DVD ad ruled - so much so I bought it immediately on Amazon. $17 for over two dozen matches that, even without knowing the match listing, will at least be pretty good, was an easy decision to make.

Miz's promo was fine, and led to far lesser promos from Swagger, Bourne, and Kofi until Truth came out and was wacky. He's got aquaphobia, is afraid of spiders, and the briefcase is GONNA GET GOT. This ruled. Then Alberto came out and got interrupted by his own music before a six-man tag was set up with the MITB guys. Big Show's Burn Notice plug was fun. The six man tag was a blast. Lots of fun stuff, and everyone got a chance to shine a bit. Riley and Miz went at it for just a bit, and Kofi hit a sweet double DDT. Loved the parade of moves being used to lead to Alberto just beating dudes up with the ladder to set him up as the ultimate enemy of everyone in that match. Thankfully, the Show vs. Drew/Dolph match wasn't used to squash Dolph, and was instead used to squash Drew and set up Henry pouncing Show off the ramp and into a pit where they cuddled. That was odd. The MITB highlight reel was surprisingly high in Shelton clips given that he's signed to ROH and not even a free agent. The Punk-Vince stuff was riveting. It had an intensity to it that you don't usually see. It went on for nearly a half hour, but it never dragged. Everyone had a point to make, and they all made long, elaborate points. Cena hurt it a bit with more shit and piss jokes, but still had some intensity and then Punk said that Cena had become what he hated, and it was ON after that. Great overall build for the main event of the PPV, even if the show itself dragged on a lot. It's really hard to hate a show that got massive pops for ice cream bars, had a Colt Cabana chant, and Vince laughing at a Ryder sign while "NO CHANCE" appeared on the tron.

Screens -



















Quotes -
Cole - The CM Punk saga really started when he made inflammatory remarks about WWE AND THE WWE UNIVERSE!
Punk - Do I have everybody’s attention NOW!? I feel a bit of recapping is in order, in case you missed it last week, and I can’t blame ya cuz I wasn’t on. I was suspended by Vince, because the week before, I got into a bit of trouble of some things I said. I didn’t get in trouble for announcing on 7/7 that my contract ends, and not only would I defeat Cena at MITB, but that I was going to leave with the WWE Title, rendering all future champions irrelevant, because I mentioned when Vince dies, the company will fall into the hands of his daughter and son in law, who I believe I refereed to as a doofus, I got in trouble because I have the balls to say things that no one else has the balls to say! Things like this company inside and outside the ring are filled with a parade of shameless ass-kissers! BUT NEVER FEAR - tonight, I’m not only reinstated, and my title match is back on, I BROUGHT BACKUP IN CASE THEY CUT MY MIC OFF! (bullhorn siren whirs) Just in case… So you’re probably wondering why I’m holding a live mic - Vince wants to sign me to a long-term deal with World Wrestling Entertainment. It’s funny that he’s bending over backwards to give me what I wanted, because all I’ve wanted is this mic - this voice is power, in anyone else’s hands, it’s a mic, in mine - IT’S A PIPE BOMB! So he finally sees me for what I am - the hottest property in this industry today! He finally sees that because I did something that he and his endless empty suits made WWE socially relevent. I’m not talking about you people, you don’t count - I’m talking about the real world. In the real world, WWE has always gotten a mention because CM Punk is speaking his mind, or because somebody died! It’s true! But WWE, because of me, WWE is on Youtube! ESPN is falling all over themselves to get me on their shows. Kimmel’s people are ringing my phone off the hook. They’re begging for my story. And I find it funny that I have one foot out the door and Vince wants to give me everything I want. Five years ago, if Vince treated me this nicely, I wouldn’t have five years of pent up ammunition. I would have so much to say.
Crowd - CM Punk! CM Punk!
Punk - I know Vince, and he’s gonna expect me to sit in his office and have a man on man convo about a contract, but I also know he likes to do things that haven’t been done before. SO TONIGHT, LET’S HAVE THE FIRST-EVER LIVE CONTRACT NEGOTIATION IN THE RING! Maybe I’ll sign, maybe I won’t. maybe Vince will have to join the CM Punk kiss my ass club! (Cena comes out) SIR, I’M AFRAIDYOUR MUSIC - IS TOO LOUD!
Cena - Cut the music.
Punk - HEY EVERYBODY, IT’S JOHN CENA! (massive boos) Thank you for giving me everything I’ve ever wanted. Thanks for the title shot, because when I win it, I’ll change how it looks - because it’s been far too ugly for far too long. When I beat it…beat you… You’ll get fired! Let’s go to CHICAGO SO I CAN BEAT YOU FOR THE TITLE! But if you think that Vince is gonna fire you, I’d like to take you back to when you fired and that lasted seven days. So you don’t have that to worry about.
Cena - Ya done?
Punk - Probably not, but would you like to say something? I have a megaphone.
Cena - You have a set of balls and a mouth. For three weeks, all I’ve heard is how you’re walking out of Chicago with the WWE Title. YOU ACT LIKE I’M A PUSHOVER, BECAUSE NOBODY’S GONNA STOP YA. I GOT NEWS FOR YA JACK, I’M NO PUSHOVER! NAWNAWNAW, EASY! I know why ya think it - cuz I was halfway knocked out and you said you were the best WRESTLER in the company.
Punk - I’ll stop ya there - I said I was the best WRESTLER in the world.
Cena - You’ve got a set of balls, a big mouth, and self-confidence. You say that I’m for WWE because I smile for the cameras - I do that because I love it. I HAVE THIS CUZ I EARN IT. YOU THINK YOU’RE THE BEST WRESTLER - congrats for that. There are a lot of people who thought that - HHH, JBL, Orton, Angle, HBK, even Eddie Guerrero, everyone thought they couldn’t wrestle in the ring with me. They were disappointed. I don’t care if ya got a mic or a megaphone, if Vince fires me or he’s full of it - I’m coming to Chicago to whoop your ass! (GM dings)
Cole - And I quote! Mr. McMahon is en route to negotiate with CM Punk, but in the meantime, I think if this is Cena’s last night on Raw, we should see him in action. So Cena, don’t go anywhere, because you’ll compete in a very special match next!
Punk - GOOD LUCK!
Cena - Is it gonna be a lingerie pillow fight?
Roberts - It will be a HANDICAP MATCH!
Cole - HE’LL BE FACING THE WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
King - Why would the GM want to put Cena in this kind of dangerous match?
Cole - They want CM Punk to sign a contract! Mr. McMahon is going the extra mile to sign him to a contract! Mr. McMahon is not going to just rely on Cena to keep the Title in WWE.
Cole - THE WWE TITLE IS THE HOLY GRAIL OF SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT! It would be like taking old glory away from the United States of America!
Dolph - Vince, we can make the U.S. Title the premiere title in WWE, because I’m WWE’s premiere superstar!
Drew - I’M THE MAN, DAMMIT, IT SAYS IT IN MY NAME!
Dolph - YOU USED TO BE THE MAN! BUT IF YOU DON’T SEE DOLPH AS THE FUTURE OF WWE, YOU SHOULD RUN AARP INSTEAD OF WWE!
Vince - Dolph, Drew, two of my fastest-rising stars…YOU DESERVE A BIG SPOTLIGHT. So why don’t the two of you team up in a handicap match against a really BIG, BIG OPPONENT. The largest athlete in the world, the Big Show. Anyone have a mint?
Drew - Noh…
Vince - WELL, I’D HATE TO HAVE BAD BREATH!
Brie - Kelly was Photoshopped!
Brie - That stinks, by the way.
Brie - She had a whole damn makeup counter on her face.
Nikki - Um, hello, wow! Now that that’s over, maybe you can FIND SOME FOOD!
Brie - One meal a month isn’t healthy!
Nikki - YOUR SKIN IS SAYING FEED ME, KELLY!
Brie - Underneath this clown face is a need for Proactiv.
Nikki - It worked wonders for Kelly…Katy Perry!
Nikki - YOU WANNA TOUCH MY SISTER!?
Cole - TWITTER WAS DOWN FOR 20 MINUTES BECAUSE OF THE WWE UNIVERSE!
Miz - There’s no better view that sitting on top of this ladder and looking down on each and everyone of you. I’m used to being on top - the Miz. That makes me different than everyone else in the ladder match at the MITB PPV. It’s not just because I’m the most must-see superstar of all-time, it’s because I know what it means to take this path to becoming WWE Champion. I know the smell, the taste, in a way that none of my opponents have. Sure, some have been CLOSE. But close doesn’t make them a winner, or a champion. I KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A CHAMPION! And everyone’s gonna find out that I still have what it takes to be a champion! Up here, I’m comfortable, because this is where the future happens! AND I AM STILL THE FUTURE! And every pretender will learn why I’m the Miz and I’m…(Swagger’s theme hits)
King - INTERRUPTED!
Swagger - YOU’RE THE FUTURE!? Riley musta hit you in the head too many times, Miz. I ALSO HAVE WON THE MITB LADDER AND I ALSO CASHED IT IN AND BECAME A WORLD CHAMPION! Lemme tell ya something - I’m gonna do it again!
Miz - REALLY!? World Champ, really!? REALLY!? REALLY!? Lemme ask you a question - if someone cashes it in and no one remembers it, did it really happen!?
Bourne - I don’t know about everyone here, but I’m tired of hearing about what you’ve done. I’m gonna talk about what I’m gonna do on Sunday. I’M GONNA STEAL THE SHOW. CLIMB THE LADDER, GO AIRBOURNE, AND WIN MITB! (Kofi comes out)
Kofk - Evan, I appreciate your confidence, but at the end of the day, it’s all just talk. THIS IS MITB. IT’S AN 8-MAN LADDER MATCH WHERE EVERYONE PUTS IT ALL ON THE LINE. OUR BODIES, OUR CAREERS, THE FUTURE, FOR A SHOT AT THE MOST PRESTIGIOUS TITLE IN THE HISTORY OF WWE. ANYBODY CAN CLIMB UP AND WIN THIS MATCH. IF I WIN, IT’S NOT GONNA BE BECAUSE OF WHAT I DO, OR WHAT I SAY HERE TONIGHT, IT’LL BE BECAUSE OF WHAT I DO ON THE RING ON SUNDAY! You think it’s a coincidence that one of WWE’s greatest superstars had to retire due to matches like this? THAT WAS EDGE! (Truth comes out)
Truth - SURPRISE, SURPRISE, SURPRISE! THE CONSPIRACY AGAINST TRUTH CONTINUES! Ya see, everybody’s talking about Punk-Cena! Y’ALL MUSTA FORGOT, TWO WEEKS AGO, I BEAT CENA! TRUTH THREW THE WWE CHAMP THROUGH A TABLE, AND ALL YA LITTLE JIMMIES, Y’ALL SAW IT. AND NOW, AND NOW I’M SUPPOSED TO CLIMB A LADDER AND GRAB A BRIEFCASE!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT WHEN I GOT…I GOT AQUAPHOBIA Y’ALL! THE CONSPIRACY KNOWS I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS! BUT THERE BETTER NOT BE NOT ONE SPIDER ON THIS LADDER. OR IN THIS RING ON SUNDAY. CUZ I’M AFRAID OF THEM TOO! YA SEE, THAT BRIEFCASE RIGHT THERE, IF I OPEN IT UP AND I SEE A SPIDER, THE GRITS GONNA HIT THE PAN! THAT BRIEFCASE GONNA GET GOT AND THAT’S THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT…(Riley comes out)
Alberto - THIS IS A DISGRACE. I SHOULD NOT EVEN BE IN MITB! I TOOK OUT REY, SO I’M THE NUMBER 1 CONTENDER! AND NOW WE HAVE JOHN CENA AGAINST CM PUNK! YA GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. BUT THE QUESTION IS WHY!? I’M GONNA TELL YOU WHY! JOHN CENA IS AFRAID OF ALBERTO DEL RIO! AND NOW I HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN TO SHOW THAT IT’S MY DESTINY TO BE THE NEXT WWE CHAMPION! FINE! In six days, I’m gonna teach a lesson to every one of you! AND THAT’S A LESSON FOR DESTINY!
Cole - AND I QUOTE! Alberto has a point. And since we have 6 of the MITB competitors in the ring, LET’S HAVE A MATCH! So Miz, Swagger, and Truth, you will face Bourne, Riley, and Kofi!
King - Cena isn’t Superman!
King - Mark Henry may suffer Fee-Fi-FOBIA! A FEAR OF GIANTS!
(after Show’s chest slap)Drew - GAWD, ARE YA KIDDIN ME!?
Vince - I’M VINCE MCMAHON DAMMIT, GIVE IT UP! For all hoping I’ll join the CM Punk kiss my ass club - that’s not gonna happen. Imagining being on my knees while someone drops trou and gives me the moon…I can’t imagine that. Contract should not be negotiated in public, but that’s what CM Point, CM Punk, can’t even pronounce his name, wants. I wonder what CM stands for - you got the Punk part right. Well, I think you’ll find everything in this contract…Sky Low Low seat here…your attorneys have been through it…
Punk - Vince…THE CHAIRMAN. WHATTAMANEUVER! You’re gonna go through with it, aren’t ya? For someone so Pro-Cena, I thought you’d wear a ridiculous red shirt with the arm bands. But looking at you know, I can see you have zero faith in Cena.
Vince - My faith or lack of faith in Cena has nothing to do with this. I want you to sign it to make you a rich man - richer than you are, and I couldn’t live with myself if on your last day, you’d walk out of Chicago with my title. That’s why we have all the provisions in here, like you asked for. Right, Phil? I CAN CALL YA PHIL, RIGHT!? You wanna open it up?
Punk - You wanna have fun? LET’S HAVE FUN! BECAUSE MY LAWYERS LOOKED OVER YOUR CONTRACT, and it wasn’t up to par, so I had them draw up a new one. My signature’s on it, but you should know a few new perks. LET’S ASK THE WWE UNIVERSE - you want this to go down in public? Wanna hear a couple new perks?
Vince - Don’t push me.
Punk - He said don’t push me? That’s provision number 1! That I get to push you! Vince, I’ll kick you in the nuts and smile and like and show me some respect, because if you don’t, I find the nearest paper shredder, throw this in there, and leave with your WWE Championship. Provision 1 - For a superstar such as myself, first class travel isn’t good enough - I want my own jet. NOT YOURS, THAT SMELLS. I WANT MY OWN JET. 2 - MY FACE WILL BE ONE VERYTHING. THE TRON. CUPS, SHOES, SOCKS. EVERYTHING WITH MY FACE. Number 1 thing being I want you to bring back the WWE ice cream bars! I just made you a million dollars in ice cream sales. I want WWE Films to create CM Punk the Movie. You can call it the Chaperone 2, only it’ll be funny, entertaining, and successful. The main event of WM being Cena-DWAYNE, that’s the Rock for those who don’t watch bad Disney movies. You can have that fantasy, but the match I COMPETE in will be the main event. Those are a few of many perks. The last thing it states is that you apologize to me. You will apologize for suspending me last week. You’ll apologize to me AND EVERYONE for being the biggest hypocrite I’ve seen in my life. As far as anti-bullying goes, you’re the biggest bully I’ve met in my life and you will apologize!
Crowd - CM PUNK!
Punk - I have had friends, VERY TALENTED FRIENDS, work here and be fired!
Vince - THEY DESERVED IT!
Punk - WHY!? BECAUSE YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT MAKES A SUPERSTAR IN 2011?! YOU WANNA PUNISH PEOPLE FOR LIKING WRESTLING, LIKE COLT CABANA AND LUKE GALLOWS!? YOU’LL APOLOGIZE FOR ME FOR THEM BECAUSE THEY CAN’T LET THEIR VOICE BE HEARD. I’M CM PUNK AND I’M THE VOICE OF THE VOICELESS! YOU’LL APOLOGIZE AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!
Vince - Hey look…Just calm down…Let’s just get this signed and calm down. Let’s be gentlemen.
Punk - SHOULD WE BE GENTLEMEN OR SHOULD WE APOLOGIZE!? Vince, SIGN THE CONTRACT AND APOLOGIZE AND SPARE YOUR COMPANY ANY FURTHER EMBARRASSMENT!
Vince - Let’s get this over with! I’ve eaten a crap sandwich out here!
Crowd - WE WANT WRESTLING!
Vince - I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU WANT!
Punk - THAT’S THE PROBLEM. YOU DON’T GIVE A DAMN, AND MY PROBLEM IS I CARE TOO MUCH. AM I A BAD GUY!? ABSOLUTELY! I DON’T WEAR A WHITE HAT, BUT I KNOW WHAT THESE PEOPLE WANT, AND BOSTON WANTS TO HEAR AN APOLOGY!
Vince - Sorry, okay.
Punk - What?
Vince - I said I’m sorry.
Punk - What? IF THERE’S EVER AN APPROPRIATE TIME, WHAT!?
Vince - I APOLOGIZE, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Punk - That’s better than winning the world title 3 times - Vince just apologized to CM Punk! Pick it up and sign it before the stock plummets some more.
Crowd - COLT CABANA!
Cena - Fine speech. They love ya, and they’ll love you in Chicago. When you leave them high and dry. I’m not gonna let you help a terrorist! Now you sound like kids - I WANT THIS, I WANT THAT. You hate this guy? I HATE HIM TOO. Know how many times I want to rip his face off and make it into a floor mat? And then walk in crap and wipe my crappy shoes on his floor mat. But when we have a disagreement, I don’t short change THEM. They paid a lot of good money to be here. YOU TALK ABOUT HYPOCRITES, PUNK, YOU’RE THE BIGGEST ONE OF ALL. YOU’LL ASK THEM IF YOU WANT AN APOLOGY, AND THEN YOU’LL LEAVE. There was a man who said that FINALLY, HE WAS HOME! And that he was never leaving again. Easy dragon breath! Did you eat Big Foot’s diaper? You’re not THAT GUY, cuz you want to leave here with this. Your biggest attribute is your biggest flaw - you’re CM Punk and you march to the beat of my own drum. You’ve lost sight of things.
Punk - You’ re gonna say that I’VE lost sight? I’M THE UNDERDOG. YOU SAID THAT GUYS LIKE EDDIE SAID THAT THE KID COULDN’T HANG, JOHN, I WAS HANGING OFF YOUR GANGSTER CAR AT WM 22 AND I LOOKED AS RIDICULOUS AS THAT MAN LOOKS HOLDING A PHONY TOMMY GUN, I SAID TO MYSELF THAT ONE DAY, I’D BE STANDING IN THE RING WATCHING YOU GO DOWN TO CM PUNK. AND HERE WE ARE, IN YOUR HOMETOWM, AND NEXT WEEK, WE’LL BE IN MY HOMETOWN, AND HERE’S WHERE I TALK THEM INTO THE BUILDING! YOU’VE LOST SIGHT! WHEN YOU STAND HERE AND TELL ME I’VE LOST SIGHT, WHEN YOU THE TEN TIME CHAMP, FROM BOSTON, MASS, LIVES THESE COLORS, LIKE THE RED SOX WHO PORTRAY THEMSELVES AS THE UNDERDOG. JUST LIKE THE BRUINS AND THE CELTICS! HERE’S WHAT YOU LOST SIGHT OF, JOHN, AND I’M GLAD YOUR WIFE AND FATHER ARE HERE! WHAT YOU’VE LOST SIGHT OF IS WHO YOU ARE - YOU’RE THE TEN TIME WWE CHAMPION, YOU’RE THE MAN. THE CHAMP IS HERE. YOU, LIKE THE SOX, ARE NO LONGER AN UNDERDOG. YOU’RE A DYNASTY - YOU’VE BECOME WHAT YOU HATE - THE NEW YORK YANKESS! YOU’RE STEINBRENNER, AND YOU’RE JETER! I’M THE UNDERDOG! Turn the music off, because I have something to say, everyone wants to hear it! I’m glad you punched me, John, because it hit my like a bolt of lightning why I wanna leave! It’s because I’m tired of this. I’m tired of you. I’m just tired. Ladies and gentlemen of the WWE Universe, Vince, John. Sunday night, say goodbye to the WWE Title. Say goodbye to John Cena. AND SAY GOODBYE TO CM PUNK! I’LL BE THE BEST IN THE WORLD SOMEWHERE ELSE!
 
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