King - THE DRAFT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT NIGHT OF THE YEAR!
Cole - I may get drafted as a wrestler this year.
Cole - THIS IS BOLLOCKS! JOHN CENA IS ON SMACKDOWN. HE’S BEEN PART OF RAW FOR SIX YEARS. SIX YEARS!
Grisham - What’s your reaction to the draft?
Cena - SYFY IS PARTYING LIKE ITS 1999! IT’S THE BIGGEST DRAFT PICK IN WWE HISTORY. DOC BROWN WON’T SET THE DATE TO 1955, IT’LL BE APRIL 25, 2011. LIFE THROWS CHANGES AT YA, AND YOU’VE GOTTA CHANGE WITH THEM. LIKE RODMAN GOING FROM A MAN TO A WOMAN BACK TO A MAN. At Extreme Rules, I’ll bring the WWE Title BACK TO THE SMACK!
Truth - RALIEGH, NORTH CAROLINA! SHUT UP! Don’t boo me - ya should boo yaselves. Lemme break it down. The topic of the word today is you - that’s what’s up - you! It’s all about you. Ya see, last week, John Morrison, MY FRIEND, MY PAL, y’all gonna stop with that WHAT. He came out here and challenged me…
Crowd - WHAT!
Truth - AS I WAS SAYING. He challenged me FOR MY SPOT in the championship triple threat match at Extreme Rules. Y’ALL PISSING ME THE HELL OFF! I ain’t gonna let you get to me, ya know what…
Crowd - WHAT!
Truth - Why’d he challenge me - CUZ OF YOU. Why did I accept? CUZ YOU WANTED ME TO! I lost BECAUSE OF YOU! Know what I’m starting to realize? YOU GOT ME PISSED OFF. I spent my career trying to be what you want me be - THAT GOT ME NOWHERE. THAT GOT ME DIDDLY SQUAT. I COME OUT HERE RAPPING AND DANCING SO YA’LL CAN RAP AND DANCE ALONG WITH ME. And a lot of y’all be out of tune and off-beat. LOOKIT LITTLE JIMMY. HE’S SO CUTE. HE’S SINGING WHAT’S UP WITH THE TRUTH. SING IT LITTLE JIMMY. WHAT’S UP! LITTLE JIMMY! Hey little Jimmy, am I making you smile by saying what’s up!? SHUT UP! Ami I making you smile? You like saying WHAT’S UP? Jimmy, you singing what’s up, is that putting titles around my waist? No? SO WIPE YA NOSE AND SHUT UP. Know what? For 10 years, I chose YOU. I chose every last one of y’all, but now, I’M OFFICIALLY GIVING EVERY LAST ONE OF Y’ALL THE BOOT. SEE YA LATER BYE! DON’T BOO ME - YA SHOULD BE BOOING YASELVES!
Ya know what else, Raleigh - SIT DOWN FOUR EYES! Ya know what else? TEN YEARS OF FRUSTRATION AND DISAPPOINTMENT…WHEN I LET THAT GOOD, IT FELT MARVELOUS! And I’M just being honest. For the first time, IN MY LIFE! THE TRUTH, Y’ALL AIN’T HEAR ME. THE TRUTH HAS SET ME FREE!
King - Thank goodness Morrison came out to shut him up.
Cole - So now people can’t speak their mind?
Cole - As much as I’d like to watch Eve lull you to sleep, I’VE GOT MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO. UNLIKE THE DIVAS, I’M A REAL ATHLETE. I’VE GOTTA DO A VERY STRENUOUS STRETCHING EXERCISE, SOMETHING THAT IF YOU DID, YOU’D TEAR YOUR GROIN OUT OF YOUR BODY. I’M GONNA FACE KING KONG FLABBY. MR WRESTLEMANIA HAS LEFT RINGSIDE!
(after Layla throws Michelle into his lap)Guy - KING, ASK HER OUT!
King - OH NO, HE’S WINDED!
Cody - Now that Rey and I are on different shows, I’ll give him a going away present in our match at Extreme Rules. A NEW MASK! A MASK THAT AN ANASTESIALOGIST PUTS ON BEFORE HE’S RUSHED INTO EMERGENCY SURGERY. HE CAN HURANCANRANA SOMEONE, POP A WHEELIE IN A WHEELCHAIR, OR 619 SOMEONE INTO EMERGENCY HEART SURGERY. BOOYAKA BOOYAKA, BYE. BYE. BYE.
Sign - It burns when I pee.
Booker - I CAN ONLY IMAGINE WHAT THESE GUYS ARE GOING THROUGH! I’ve been there before.
King - That was the most humiliating moment in J.R.s life.
Booker - I can only imagine.
King - J.R. doesn’t belong in the ring.
Josh - He’s your partner on Sunday.
King - I didn’t say he didn’t belong in the ring - he’ll beat Cole up.
Booker - I hope J.R. knocks the crap out of him.
Booker - NOW HE’S ACTING LIKE KAMALA!
Cole - I’M A COLLEGAITE WRESTLER! HE’S AN ANIMAL!
Cole - YOU’RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS YOU FAT OLD MAN. TAKE HIS BELT OFF!
(GM dings)Booker - You wanna get that?
Josh - The GM sent an e-mail and says AND I QUOTE. On Sunday, King and J.R. vs. Cole and Swagger will be a TAG TEAM COUNTRY WHIPPING MATCH!
Booker - Good old country whipping - that’s right up J.R.’s alley.
Miz - Next week, we all celebrate the MOST ELECTRIFYING BIRTHDAY IN BIRTHA-TAINMENT. Despite the fact I shouldn’t have to compete in a triple threat, at Extreme Rules, I WILL FIND A WAY TO WIN BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I DO. CENA WILL GO TO SMACKDOWN AS A LOSER AND JOHN MORRISON, WHEREVER HE GOES, HE’LL BE A LOSER EVERY NETWORK EXEC AT USA SHOULD PRAY THAT I DON’T GET DRAFTED BECAUSE IF I DO, RAW WITHIN ONE MONTH WILL BE CANCELED BECAUSE I’M THE MIZ AND I’M AWESOME!
Booker - Dolph’s got a new haircut, but nothing else has changed. It’s like my daddy said - YA GOTTA KEEP YA WOMAN IN CHECK, Vickie’s still calling the shots.
Punk - THE DRAFT PICK CAN WAIT - THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN ON TV HAS SOMETHING TO SAY. I FIND IT EXTREMELY IRONIC - EXTREMELY, THAT THE PPV IS CALLED EXTREME RULES BECAUSE RANDALL, WE’LL GET EXTREME ON EACH OTHER. THERE ARE NO RULES, EXCEPT ONE - YOU HAVE TO ANSWER THE TEN COUNT, AND I’LL BEAT YOU WITH SO MANY STICKS, MY OWN HEAD AND TWO HANDS THAT YOU’LL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF. AN RKO OUT OF NOWHERE WON’T WIN THE MATCH. I’LL SEND YOU PACKING AS A FORMER SHELL OF WHAT YOU USED TO BE.
Orton - There are going to be many things I missed on Raw, but I won’t miss you rambling on and on and on. Punk, after Sunday, you won’t be talking. You won’t be walking. You won’t be eating. YOU WON’T BE DRINKING. YOU WON’T BE MOVING. ALL YOU’LL BE IS SLEEPING. UNCONCIOUS SLEEP! Because I will be the last man standing.
King - WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT SMACKDOWN WOULD GAIN JOHN CENA, RANDY ORTON…Mark Henry…and Sin Cara!?
King - COME ON, WE NEED SOMEONE BIG! (Big Show is drafted)
Cole - JR’S GETTING HIS BROKEN HAND FIXED BECAUSE I BROKE IT WITH MY HEAD!
Teddy - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR MAIN EVENT TONIGHT WILL BE A SIX-MAN TAG TEAM MATCH! And it will be for the final 2011 draft pick! From team Raw - CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio, and the WWE Champion, the Miz! Against Team SD’s Christian, Mark Henry, and JOHN CNEA!
Josh - WILL CHRISTIAN CLIMB THE LADDER ON SUNDAY!?
Josh - THE FINAL TIME FOR JOHN CENA ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW!
Cole - Things have been extreme tonight - we saw J.R. sweat. I AM GONNA GET SO EXTREME ON JIM ROSS!
Booker - Like tonight?
Cole - HE TOOK ME BY SURPRISE!
Cole - I’m on both shows - that’s how good I am.
Cole - Lawler, I just thought of something - YOUR PARTNER’S GOT A BROKEN HAND!
King - And you’ve got a busted lip, so what?
Cole - I’m not gonna use my lip on Sunday.
Cole - Alberto and Miz have an interesting history - they went to the School of Mexico together.
Cole - Alberto was so classy that he rode around with me in the backseat of his car today.
Josh - Isn’t it a two-seater?
Booker - HE PUT YA IN THE TRUNK!