Time to POP the QUESTION. Need advice on ring purchase!

dannyox718

dannyox718

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Hey CAG's,

So it's finally time I pop the question and ask my girlfriend of 5+ yrs to marry me. Lucky for me, we've actually discussed our marriage in detail before, so this is more of a formality that I get on my knee, pull out the ring, etc... It'll still be a meaningful event!

I've been ring shopping and found a really helpful store in the "Jeweler's row" section of the city. (I tend to stay far away from the big businesses like Kay, Jared, Zales, etc) I even narrowed it down to the stone and the band. The initial price quoted to me is around $2000, which is about my max budget (Let's face it, if I was rich, I wouldn't be on this site :))

I'm definitely going to haggle the price down, but my questions are: Are any of you experienced in this matter? At how much should my counteroffer start? What is a "good" final price based on the original quote?

Btw, I'm going for a 1/2 carat stone, E, VS2, excellent cut/symmetry/polish. It's not very big, but a great quality. The band will be made of 18K white gold with small diamonds (4) embedded in it.

Thanks in advance for your support!
 
Without hurting a lot of CAGs feelings...I'm going to bypass my thoughts and say congratulations and ask this question:

Do you have any family heirlooms in the form of rings??? (Or does her family?)

Ask her mama/grandma....or yours....and get a ring for free for her. The engagement ring shouldn't cost a grip. The wedding ring can be dirt cheap AND valuable if you go that route. And boom....you got 1-3k in your wallet that you can stash away for future video gaming purchases or "man toys" (aka the shit your wife won't let you buy because she spent the money on her own crap)
 
Thats a pretty good idea to look into family rings. Maybe you can get an engagement ring from your mom and trade it in or something :lol:
 
[quote name='dannyox718']mtxbass1, congrats buddy!

pimphand, haha. Thanks for the tip. Unfortunately, no such luck in that department. :p[/QUOTE]

heh. Thanks. We're not quite there yet, but moving in that direction. I'm just now looking at budgeting this thing and setting an upper limit on how much I want to spend comfortably. I want to get her at least 1 carat.
 
danny... I DO suggest you avoid pawnshops and craigslist/ebay :)

In all seriousness, you can find a really nice ring for your $2k budget or less. It depends on what kind of girl you're getting engaged to. If she's not materialistic, you can get away with a smaller ring that still means the same thing, BUT, make sure you save that savings for a really nice time out for the two of you and do something special instead of just spending on yourself. No girl would want a microscopic ring just to see you have 5 new boxes of games at the front door :)

If you're dead set on a ring for 2k, go in, and tell them you have 1500 to spend. Work with that and add extra if the value added is worth it. They will always try to upsell you. Start at 15, let them upsell you to 2k, offer 18. Of course, do your research first. If you know someone who has a good relationship with a store, go in with that person and make an introduction and tell them straight up you don't want to spend more than 1800 and work with it. Again, if they will increase the stone size or band material for a small amount, you can get a good deal for $2k. If you go in and slap $2k on the table, you'll get a nice ring, but it's hard to find honest sales people who will really provide you with the best value for that money without working for it.

Congratulations and you'll find the right one. Keep in mind that no girl needs a huge ring, but no girl wants to show their friends a crackerjack ring either. I've worked with plenty of women to know their thoughts on engagement rings. $2k is a good price for a realistic ring.
 
Also, if you want to save money, you can always LOOK on craiglist or something and find someone selling a diamond (or whatever you're looking for) and have them meet you at a jewelry store to have it checked out. You can possibly find a great priced stone and have the store put it in a new setting for you.
 
I suggest to buy from a private seller. I hooked up with a CAG member after my engagement of 5 months broke off and got it to him for about 1/3 of what I paid (those things DO NOT hold any street value). The ring was gorgeous and flawless since it was only in use for a handful of months and it was a situation where I needed the cash and he was in the market for a ring and it benefited us both. Just something to keep in mind. I originally had it up on idonowidont.com which was a site founded by a guy who blew his wad on an engagement ring and wanted a marketplace just for other guys who ended up in his situation. The seller will list the ring and if you choose to buy it, they seller sends it to them in NY and they make sure it checks out and then pass it on to you.
 
congrats!

I always felt that diamonds were scams of some kind. How do you know it's real? by the certificate they give you? What are the differences in quality with stores like zales, tiffanys, etc.? How are they different from little jewelry stores or even ones from china town (NYC)? They provide the certificates and such and are much less expensive. Some people have also told me the lower end stores only carry fake diamonds so that's why the prices are lower.
I dunno...I need to make a ring commitment as well soon. Thinking of spending around 1-2k.
 
From what I know, stores like zales and tiffanys charge much higher prices basically because their customers are willing to pay it or don't know any better. Also they have a bigger overhead to worry about. It's like buying brand name anything.

What's unique to the diamond business is that both the big name stores and the independent jewelers (which is what I went with) carry virtually the same items. They can and will offer the exact same diamond but sell at different prices.

I also found that the independent jewelers are far more knowledgeable and helpful than the employees of the big name stores. You don't really have to worry about buying "fake" diamonds if you shop at a well known location. For myself, I went to the section of downtown Chicago known as the "Jewelers' Row" where literally the whole block is occupied by nothing but jewelry stores. If any of them were selling fake stuff, I just don't see them staying in business for very long.

Another good example is buying video games at GameStop vs a mom & pop store. Same exact products, different prices and service. Good luck!

Wish me luck as well. I'm going to buy the ring this Saturday!!!
 
Since you guys have already talked about it, you should go with her and pick out a ring that she likes. She'll be wearing it for the rest of her life, so its best to find one that she can enjoy.
 
Actually we did! She and I picked out the band together and even looked the stones. She just doesn't know when I'll actually buy it or how I'm going to propose. Really, I couldn't be more fortunate. I know a lot of other guys who have to play the guessing game.
 
[quote name='dannyox718']mtxbass1, congrats buddy!

pimphand, haha. Thanks for the tip. Unfortunately, no such luck in that department. :p[/QUOTE]
DANG...welp....R.I.P your wallet
 
Be wary of the policies wherever you buy.

I bought my ring at a place the provides free maintenance for life (cleaning, resizing) & also will replace any lost stones free of charge. It's worked out great as my wife has lost her center diamond twice in 5+ years.
 
@klwillis45 - +1... stone replacement is the most important thing. The truth about diamonds is that they are not rare at all. The PROBLEM with diamonds is that they are owned by a very small number of companies that harvest X diamonds per year and destroy Y amount, vault Z amount, and release U amount to the public. This keeps the prices and "rarity" higher so the market won't crash. In reality, diamonds are not a very rare stone. That's why replacement is such an easy thing to do.

The name brand stores don't offer better quality for the most part, they just offer a name brand. Walmart, Sams Club, BJs, etc have diamonds which may be cheaper but may not be lesser in quality.

I only mentioned staying away from CL and things like that because often times girls don't want rings from failed engagements or divorces. Many girls are superstitious OR would just feel less "special" getting a 2nd hand item. I'm not opposed to it though, just saying that it's something to weigh in if you have an issue with the ring and she wants to know where you got it so she can get it fixed.
 
[quote name='Brownjohn']Since you guys have already talked about it, you should go with her and pick out a ring that she likes. She'll be wearing it for the rest of her life, so its best to find one that she can enjoy.[/QUOTE]

Ditto, I was in a similiar situation and my wife Nixed the engagement ring. said she would rather use the money for the Honeymoon or the house downpayment. Get your honey's input since it's out in the open.
 
Might sound very stupid...especially since I *could* prolly Google it. But, I've always been curious (but I guess not curious enough to go look it up).

So, when you propose you offer said ring (engagement). So...what does she get on the wedding day? Is it a different ring? Do you usually buying two?

Noob question(s) for sure. While I'm certainly not (yet) at the point of asking my girlfriend to marry me, it is something I've been thinking about. Gotta at least start geting the finances in order.
 
Whatever the fuck you do, don't let her pick the ring!!! It's going to cost you MORE than you originally planned for :( She might not like it at first but in the end she will accept it because it came from you. Damn I would never give someone something worth several thousand of dollars when they could lose it or break it if they are not careful!!
 
[quote name='Rig']Might sound very stupid...especially since I *could* prolly Google it. But, I've always been curious (but I guess not curious enough to go look it up).

So, when you propose you offer said ring (engagement). So...what does she get on the wedding day? Is it a different ring? Do you usually buying two?

Noob question(s) for sure. While I'm certainly not (yet) at the point of asking my girlfriend to marry me, it is something I've been thinking about. Gotta at least start geting the finances in order.[/QUOTE]

There are several things that can happen here. If you buy a bridal set, then you get an engagement ring with stone and a band. The engagement ring and band fit together, so after the wedding she wears both rings on her left hand. Otherwise, you buy a new ring, the wedding band, which does not typically have a single set stone, though it could have several smaller diamonds. The band replaces the engagement ring on the left hand. The engagement ring can be worn on the left hand adorning the band, or worn on the right hand, or kept on display. Other cultures have different traditions. I hope that helps.

Incidently, congrats OP. When I proposed to my wife I was able to get my parent's engagement ring. My wife seems to have enjoyed the sentiment. She wears it on her right hand. For us, the wedding band was the expensive ring, and she and I picked out our own rings.
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']Whatever the fuck you do, don't let her pick the ring!!! It's going to cost you MORE than you originally planned for :( She might not like it at first but in the end she will accept it because it came from you. Damn I would never give someone something worth several thousand of dollars when they could lose it or break it if they are not careful!![/QUOTE]

You're a damn idiot.
 
I just got married July of last year. My wife DID pick out her ring. We got our rings from Rodgers in the mall and I couldnt be happier with the place. I only had to make a small payment every month until the full amount was paid. Lucky for me my wife didnt want a fuckn HUGE ring since her fingers are really small. :D She also gets it cleaned for free whenever she wants.
 
A good friend owns a few diamond shops in southern california, so I have some experience in this field. At your price range, you should worry more about cut and clarity than size. You can cut a diamond so that it is not as tall and make it look larger, but you can't take out flaws.

In terms of where to buy in your price range, even the friend who owns the diamond shops would tell you to go to Blue Nile or walmart.com. Yes, seriously, walmart. They're accurate on their grades and sizes unlike a typical jeweler.

http://www.walmart.com/search/searc..._0&ref=+135538&search_sort=3&selected_items=+
 
Some advice if you're purchasing from a store that in NOT a chain:

1. Ask for a formal appraisal of the ring you're planning to buy. Take the "specs" of the ring to another jeweler... and ask what they would value the ring at.

2. Compare the price of the ring to similar rings online. Use those comparisons, in addition to the "other" jeweler's suggestion, to formulate your counter-offer.

3. Make sure the ring includes a written appraisal for insurance purposes. If it doesn't include an appraisal, take it somewhere to get an written appraisal. I spent $6k on my wife's engagement ring, and had it appraised for $7,200.

4. Make sure you look at the stone through a loupe. VS2 stones DO have imperfections and possibly inclusions. As do VVS1/VVS2.

5. Look at the stone in DIRECT SUNLIGHT. Those lights in the jewelry store often hide otherwise noticeable imperfections... and can alter the true color of the stone.

6. Shop around. Don't limit yourself to your immediate area.

Hope this helps... took me 7 months of research before I purchased my wife's engagement ring. She even told me the type of band and stone she wanted.
 
Thanks for all the tips everyone. I really appreciate it! On some of the points that were brought up:

-Yes, my gf and I picked the ring together, but she is fully understanding of my current financial situation and worries that even 2k is too much of a burden for me. She is a saint. :)

-The stone I'm getting is a fairly high quality stone (E, VS2, triple excellent rating on cut/symmetry/polish) I've checked other stores including online for prices on other stones of same size and quality. This place I went to seemed competitive, and I plan on haggling it down even more. I printed out a lower quote found online, so I'll be sure to bring this with me.

-As far as looking at it in sunlight and through a loupe, these were actually recommended to me by the jeweler himself, so I feel that he is one of the more honest people in the market. He even went as far as to let me know some things about the diamonds I'm looking at that other typical salesmen would never reveal.

Two days to go...
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']and I am also broke god damn it!!!![/QUOTE]

And some of us aren't. I want my future wife to pick out something that she's going to be happy with. She's the one that is going to be wearing it forever.
 
Clarity should be your #1 concern, IMO, with color a close second. I bought my diamond and band separately - I got a really good deal in the diamond district on the rock and then it didn't cost that much to set. It was a D, VS1 and just under 1 karat (0.91 I think). Round cut. The whole thing was less than 1/2 of what I was seeing similar rings go for in jewelry stores but this was back in 1998 so I don't know what the markup would be today. I do remember that jumping from the VS1 to the next grade was ridiculously expensive as was crossing the 1 karat threshold. Wherever you get it make sure you have it graded professionally or that it comes with a real certificate so you know what you are getting.

Alternatively, you could get a fake ring - no one will ever know the difference and looking back this is probably what I should have done. My wife barely wears her ring anyway and it really wouldn't have made a difference.
 
[quote name='mtxbass1']And some of us aren't. I want my future wife to pick out something that she's going to be happy with. She's the one that is going to be wearing it forever.[/QUOTE]

[quote name='perdition(troy']at least you hope she wears it forever.[/QUOTE]

That's true...with that 50% of marriages ending in divorce thing.... i am sure down the line people who have spent 30k on a ring, then get divorce are saying, "WHY THE fuck DID I SPEND 30k ON A RING?!!?!?".

Under 2k is a safe bet ... but seriously if all the chick cares about how much it cost, then shes a greedy mother fucker.
 
[quote name='javeryh']

My wife barely wears her ring anyway and it really wouldn't have made a difference.[/QUOTE]


Does that mean she's available? just kidding !!;)
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']That's true...with that 50% of marriages ending in divorce thing.... i am sure down the line people who have spent 30k on a ring, then get divorce are saying, "WHY THE fuck DID I SPEND 30k ON A RING?!!?!?".

Under 2k is a safe bet ... but seriously if all the chick cares about how much it cost, then shes a greedy mother fucker.[/QUOTE]

Mine actually doesn't care about the cost at all, but I don't plan on giving her something under 2k. I'm not going to go crazy on this either. We're both fiscally conservative to a degree and would rather focus on paying off debt or a down payment on another house than having a huge ring on her finger.
 
[quote name='ITDEFX']That's true...with that 50% of marriages ending in divorce thing.... i am sure down the line people who have spent 30k on a ring, then get divorce are saying, "WHY THE fuck DID I SPEND 30k ON A RING?!!?!?".[/QUOTE]

Dudes that spend $30K on an engagement ring can't possibly be worried about losing the $30K.

[quote name='ITDEFX']Does that mean she's available? just kidding !!;)[/QUOTE]

Maybe? :D
 
[quote name='mr_burnzz']congrats!

I always felt that diamonds were scams of some kind. How do you know it's real? by the certificate they give you? What are the differences in quality with stores like zales, tiffanys, etc.? How are they different from little jewelry stores or even ones from china town (NYC)? They provide the certificates and such and are much less expensive. Some people have also told me the lower end stores only carry fake diamonds so that's why the prices are lower.
I dunno...I need to make a ring commitment as well soon. Thinking of spending around 1-2k.[/QUOTE]

My uncle always told me that the two smartest people in the world were the guy who convinced people to buy bottled water, and the guy who convinced people diamonds were valuable. I'd have to agree.

Tie a piece of string on her finger and tell her that 2 grand could go towards something useful, like a down payment on a house.
 
[quote name='The Crotch']Ah, fuck diamonds.

Being of hippy descent as I am, I'd go more for something like one of these.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, diamonds are both a huge scam and a weird tradition.
 
First off Congrats!

Honestly if she's happy with the ring that's the most important part, you can probably get some sort of payment plan or financing option if it's really the perfect ring but you're a bit low on cash.

One thing to consider though, the wedding (assuming her or your family isn't going to pay for it) is going to cost you way more than $2K, my friends budget wedding for 100 people cost just shy of 10K.

Personally the wife and I skipped both, bought silver rings, eloped and used the saved money as part of a down payment on a house.
 
Woot! I proposed to her last night in front of about 20 of our friends, and she said yes! Thanks again everyone for your comments and God bless you all!
 
the diamond details are important, but make sure you buy one that sparkles. you can look at several diamonds that are the same cut and clarity but theyll look different. your mrs will notice the sparkle.

my wife is far from materialistic and not going cheap on her ring was one of my smartest moves.
 
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