Tips for gaining weight?

[quote name='mykevermin']Leave it up to a white boy with B-cup mantits to say "eat like a black person." :roll: I don't care that you edited it, you still thought enough of it to type it to begin with.

OP, creatine, creatine, creatine. You mention exercises in your post, so I don't imagine you want to bigmac-and-mountain-dew yourself to a higher weight as others have suggested. Shrink your meal portions down, and double the number of them (so you aren't stuffing yourself at each meal, and making the higher number of them more difficult to consume). Don't eat a meal until you are full, eat about 2/3 what most adults would consider "a meal." But have one every 4 hours, so you end up having 5 a day.

Creatine in cycles helps, as does whey protein isolate (the protein helps rebuild muscle tissue so you can lift weights more frequently without pulling or hurting yourself - by itself, it's not a lot of calories, though - creatine is hella full of calories).

Also, what's your exercise schedule like for a one-week period? I may be able to offer some rudimentary suggestions if I get a glance at how often/how much you lift or do cardio.[/quote]

I'm not white. I'm Hispanic. And I prefer the term MOOBS.
 
[quote name='Paco']I'm not white. I'm Hispanic. And I prefer the term MOOBS.[/QUOTE]

Tell that to the US census bureau. Regardless, it does nothing to change the size of your mammaries nor the content of your post.

[quote name='Strell']Besides, your smirk cannot override the smirk I create, knowing that, apparently, every word I type into this digital stinkhole drives you mad with the fury of worms and overshoes.[/QUOTE]

...hmm. You surmise quite a bit, darlink. ;)
 
[quote name='mykevermin']
...hmm. You surmise quite a bit, darlink. ;)[/QUOTE]

That's only 'cuz I don't remember which thread I read that in, with you holding the pen, and me thinking "this is really, really goddamn amusing." For a while I thought about permanently linking it in my sig, but realized that's a little much, even for me.
 
Listen, he's asking for help. Let's help him.

Try lifting weights, that helps! Start with 3 pound'ers and move your way up to bench pressing.
 
[quote name='Apossum']wait till your 25th or 26th birthday, your metabolism should start to slow down around then.[/quote]

Yes, sooner or later you'll regret wanting to pack on all those pounds.

If you want a head start, though, drink cow fulls of regular milk every single day and supplement with protein/muscle mass shakes. Lift weights to build muscle. Try to shoot for higher weights with fewer reps.
 
[quote name='Dead of Knight']
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?[/QUOTE]

Naw I was talking about eating a girl out. Funny response though.
 
[quote name='jmcc']No crack about marriage yet? Weird.[/quote]
oh? If the OP is a woman, all we have to do is cough in a way that ambiguously sounds like the word marriage. BAM! 5 pounds gained.
 
[quote name='Dr Mario Kart']I eat fast food maybe every other day at least.

I'm 23 and I've weighed exactly 105 for at least 7 years.[/QUOTE] Wow. How tall are you? I'm 6'3" and about 175 at the moment. 7 years ago (hell, 7 months ago) I was 185.

The most I've ever weighed was about 215, 5 years ago.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Leave it up to a white boy with B-cup mantits to say "eat like a black person." :roll: I don't care that you edited it, you still thought enough of it to type it to begin with.

OP, creatine, creatine, creatine. You mention exercises in your post, so I don't imagine you want to bigmac-and-mountain-dew yourself to a higher weight as others have suggested. Shrink your meal portions down, and double the number of them (so you aren't stuffing yourself at each meal, and making the higher number of them more difficult to consume). Don't eat a meal until you are full, eat about 2/3 what most adults would consider "a meal." But have one every 4 hours, so you end up having 5 a day.

Creatine in cycles helps, as does whey protein isolate (the protein helps rebuild muscle tissue so you can lift weights more frequently without pulling or hurting yourself - by itself, it's not a lot of calories, though - creatine is hella full of calories).

Also, what's your exercise schedule like for a one-week period? I may be able to offer some rudimentary suggestions if I get a glance at how often/how much you lift or do cardio.[/quote]

Figures you're the only one that would actually try to help him.

Anyway, if you want to get big, you've got to eat like a... horse.

First off find out how many calories you are burning every day, and then eat more calories than that... pretty simple eh?

If you're training with weights, don't go for overkill... when I started working out that's what I did, I'd work out 5 times a week. Sure I added some muscle and some weight, but I peaked early, and pretty much had to start all over.

So, ideally you'll work out once a week at first, do that for about a month perhaps, then maybe twice a week. When you start working out, there's no need to isolate certain muscle groups as you've yet to really develop them. After four months or so, you can start working out more frequently and targeting certain areas.

The question then becomes, what to eat?

Well start off by focusing on what to drink. Protein shakes help, as does drinking a lot of water. You should shoot for about a gallon per day. For awhile I drank a lot of vitamin D milk, I know people that will tell you how terrible that is, but if you drink a lot of milk, you'll add size.

As for your foods, I suggest doing your own research really, as different people have different tastes, but I would recommend Fish (salmon & tuna in particular), chicken breasts, turkey, pork, steaks, hell any kind of meat is going to help you add size... so pick your main course and then add to that with potatoes, rice, beans, and pretty much any vegetable. For breakfast try to eat eggs and oatmeal, or if you must an oat bran type cereal.

You should also try to eat smaller meals through out the day, start off making sure you're eating 3 times a day. Most people do, but some people don't. I know there was a point in which I was so broke I was eating only once or twice a day. Don't do that! You need 3 solid meals. Then as soon as that's working for you move up to 4, 5 and ideally 6.

Ah, and another key area is rest! Get your 8 hours of sleep fool. Your muscles grow while you're sleeping, don't sleep, and the tissue you've worked on building doesn't repair itself and grow.

It's all about baby-steps and common sense. I believe He-Man once said that there's no winning in taking short-cuts, only hard work and dedication will get you to where you want to be. Good luck!
 
[quote name='Brak']Injure your back.[/QUOTE]
:rofl:
Actually I shouldn't laugh, I have a history of sciatic problems and back pain is a fucking bitch.
 
If you need to post a thread asking how to gain weight then that's pretty pathetic. But besides that... just eat a LOT. You'll gain weight in no time. ;)
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']If you need to post a thread asking how to gain weight then that's pretty pathetic. But besides that... just eat a LOT. You'll gain weight in no time. ;)[/quote]

You of all people shouldn't be calling someone trying to get into shape pathetic.

And "just eating a lot" isn't gonna give him the results he's looking for, unless he wants to end up looking like Gary Brolsma.
 
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