Q: What do a dildo and soybeans have in common?
A: They’re both used as a meat substitute.
Q: What do a farmer and a pimp have in common?
A: Both need a hoe to stay in business.
Q: How did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods?
A: Pretty hot.
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
The Kansas City Chiefs.
A guy walks into a public men’s room to piss. He is standing at the urinal waiting to go when all of a sudden, a man with no arms walks in and stands at the urinal beside him.
The guy with no arms says, “Hey buddy, as you can see I have no arms. Would you mind pulling my fly down for me?”
The guy looks around, doesn’t see anyone else in the restroom and decides to pull it down for him.
The armless man then says, “I hate to bother you again, but could you hold my dick for me while I piss?” The man agrees and holds it for him while he starts to go.
As the armless man is relieving himself, the guy looks down and notices warts, scabs, pus,and swelling on the guy’s penis. They both finish and go to leave. As the first guy starts washing his hands, he says to the armless man, “Hey, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s wrong with your dick?”
The armless man then pulls his arms out of his shirt and replies, “I don’t know either, but I’m not touching it!”