Vampires Suck - so do these movies

DarkNessBear

DarkNessBear

CAGiversary!
Feedback
4 (100%)
Why do they keep making this crap? I was annoyed by the existence of this movie, but then I start seeing people say they are EXCITED for this crap. Now I can't believe it...

Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Date Movie, Disaster movie ect. are the worst films to ever hit any screen...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2_UL69ehxo

And I don't get it, all they need to do is hire 2-3 good comedic writers and they could probably do some great work with the locations/actors/parody idea ect. and they'll make more money with it being a solid film than being utter crap.
 
chicks get off on these movies. its that whole being taken thing they like i guess but thats what the majority movie going public wants to see both gay and straight. this film appeals to alot of diff groups so its making alot of money shitty or not. i hate the movies personally and i hate every harry potter film from 3 and up. there hasnt been a good vampire film since that one with ethan hawke and before that the only other great one was bram stokers dracula and blade 1 and 2.

im more enraged at the shitty werewolf movies and the shoddy zombie ones. im hoping the walking dead series will remedy that.

oh yeah the recent werewolf flick was ok but i knew what was really going on 30 minutes into it but damn if the violence in it was amazing. and benecio trying to speak perfect english or whatever accent he was going for was painful to see.
 
Because I feel like I'm losing my sanity seeing all this, "OMG!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS MOVIE!!". I know CAGs will crap all over this... please god.
 
Why do people keep watching these movies? :wall: If you want to see a funny movie watch Blazing Saddles or Airplane.
 
you're a psychopath Will.

I will admit I enjoyed Date Movie but mostly because I enjoy alyson hannigan

​

However I downloaded it and watch it again and even though I still am capable of enjoying it I fully recognize it's a terrible movie. I'd probably rank it a very very low third. Scary Movie and Scary Movie 2 were creative spoofs. Everything after that took a good idea and Call-of-Dutied it.

I mean at some points they aren't even keeping with genre conventions. I saw Scary Movie 4 or 5 with my girlfriend in theatres (free screening) and I think i remember seeing repeat spoofs and spoofs of non-scary movies. Like the iPod-Tripod thing.

Maddox did the best send-up of them though
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVHWJ9jPYw8
 
Last edited by a moderator:
[quote name='Wolfkin']you're a psychopath Will.

I will admit I enjoyed Date Movie but mostly because I enjoy alyson hannigan
.[/QUOTE]

:drool::drool::drool:
 
oh good grief. I didn't realize Vampire suck was real. I thought it would just be a spoof trailer like the one i posted. :cries: WHY :cries: why oh why can't they* take a hint. Like all the movies preceding it the trailer isn't all bad**. I did think that joke about how he has to take his shirt off every 10 minutes was funny. Maybe it was the only part that was funny and I'm sure in the movie that scene might play out for 180 seconds. rather than say 20.

This is a perfect example of not understanding what a parody is. The movie is called "Vampires Suck" it's clearly a parody of the Twilight phenom. Fine. No issue so far, heck judging from the few fake trailers out there this could be effing hilarious. But then they completely ignore that and just throw up jokes from the joke bin. Look how many vampire movies, TV shows, books there are RIGHT NOW. What the blazes is Alice in Wonderland doing in the movie. much less the trailer. You couldn't fit in a vampire from the many many other series out there. Heck I'd even take a Whedonverse joke or two. Why not throw up some Interview with the Vampire humor? I'm sure I'm the only one who saw "Vampire In Brooklyn" and so there's a ton of jokes to be reused from that. Why not throw in jokes about the many other vampires books out there right now Vampire Academy, Anita Blake, Boys that Bite, etc...
​

On the off chance you WANT to stick a random Alice in Wonderland joke in there because it's topical and you think it's funny it should be a one time 30 second joke that has no business in the trailer. Heck that might actually be a cool unexpected cameo joke that gets people to the theatres. "Hey did you see that one joke about Alice in Wonderland it was so hilarious and unexpected", heck at this point I expect it and a joke based on Avatar, Shrek, Sex and the City, and probably The Last Airbender. Do they make sense? No. Will they be in the movie. Probably. I will hedge my bets and also predict a joke about 3D in general.

* i'm not sure if they refers to the people making this trash or people like my 10,12 yo nephews who watch it.

** I take that back because I think around the time of Not Another Teen Movie even the trailers were bad and this one minus the one joke I like is awful.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
[quote name='FroMann'] If you want to see a funny movie watch Blazing Saddles or Airplane.[/QUOTE]

+ It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World which i think its one of the best movies ever made.

Also they keep on making these movies because its takes little effort to write( from the looks of them)
 
that was a pretty dope movie. I forget what the remake was called but while not Epic Movie bad wasn't as good as the original
 
[quote name='Wolfkin']
On the off chance you WANT to stick a random Alice in Wonderland joke in there because it's topical and you think it's funny it should be a one time 30 second joke that has no business in the trailer. Heck that might actually be a cool unexpected cameo joke that gets people to the theatres. "Hey did you see that one joke about Alice in Wonderland it was so hilarious and unexpected", heck at this point I expect it and a joke based on Avatar, Shrek, Sex and the City, and probably The Last Airbender. Do they make sense? No. Will they be in the movie. Probably.[/QUOTE]
No there wont be any jokes of those films (maybe Avatar) because they are too recent. You have to think of some really bad pop culture references a year ago (at least) which was funny to joke about once or twice but now is way too played out. So a perfect example would be Jersey Shore or Lady Gaga being crazy. Done and done in this film! Then add in some terrible slap stick humor and you got a movie!

My gf also saw this movie with her little sister at the prescreening (she didn't know what it was) and she said it was horrible. She has a pretty meh taste for comedies to...
 
The first Scary Movie wasn't bad for a slapstick comedy. But the rest of these have been terrible.

I still remember Mrs Mann, Officer Doofy, "I know" and a bunch of other funny stuff. Every once in a while the Wayans make an OK movie.
 
[quote name='Purple Flames']I have the confidence in the world that this is gonna suck, but the trailer actually made me chuckle a few times.[/QUOTE]
that's how they get you. the trailers look and arguably ARE funny. It's the fact that the rest of the movie is just those exact same jokes elongated over 90 minutes.
 
[quote name='fatherofcaitlyn']I like these type of movies. They're good idiot tests.[/QUOTE]

This is exactly what I was coming here to post. If we just killed anyone that saw these movies, the world would be a better place.
 
[quote name='Mr Unoriginal']This is exactly what I was coming here to post. If we just killed anyone that saw these movies, the world would be a better place.[/QUOTE]

No, not kill. I would use them to plow my fields.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top