What do you do with a depressed girlfriend?

Zenithian Legend

Zenithian Legend

Banned
Honestly, I'm at the point I can't deal with this anymore. We've been together since August 1st, but she just keeps putting up this wall around herself and it's about time to go bye-bye. I figured since most of the people on here are guys someone may have had the same experience and some decent advice. I'd ask my roommates and other friends, but I don't want her to find out that I'm at my breaking point.
 
honestly ask her how she feels about you guys' relationship, and tell her if she wants to continue it she needs to have a more positive outlook on things
try and engage in activities that make her laugh or cheer her up
being happy isnt a very complicated thing, its as simple as holding a pen with your teeth instead of your lips when its in your mouth. behavior leads to how we feel, not the other way around
 
When I met my girlfriend (now fiance), see was in pretty dire straits b/c her dad just died. I won't lie to you, it is a tough situation. The easy and simple truth is that if really love her, you should be there for her and do the best you can. Things ended up working alright for us, but I know that every relationship is different. You just have to do the best you can if you really care about her.

Gosh, I sound like Dr. Phill.
 
[quote name='pdat2003']When I met my girlfriend (now fiance), see was in pretty dire straits b/c her dad just died. I won't lie to you, it is a tough situation. The easy and simple truth is that if really love her, you should be there for her and do the best you can. Things ended up working alright for us, but I know that every relationship is different. You just have to do the best you can if you really care about her.

Gosh, I sound like Dr. Phill.[/quote]

Nah, you make sense, and don't sound like an ass. You can't be Dr. Phil.
 
Oh man, my girlfriend's dad died 3 years ago, but I didn't meet her until a little over 1 year ago, so I have no idea what she was like before that happened. She claims she's always gotten like this at times. We talked about breaking up tonight, and she just said she doesn't know what she wants to do anymore. I just don't want to throw away a 10 month relationship, I've always been one of those guys that does the 2 months or less kind of thing, and this one actually was worth something.
 
Hmm hows the sex? No Im playing. My girlfriend at the time now my wife has really depressed at the time we got together. Her grandfather died right when we met. You either got to stick it through or tell her your feelings shes not a mindreader
( ihope :) ) and neither are you ( see last stament :)) anyways you either wave to ride the ship through the storm, bail out into the ocean, or guide the ship to less stormy waters by talking to her. Hope that helps! I would say guide the ship and then ride out the storm.
 
Break up via e-mail, that way nobody gets hurt.

My girlfriend of 5+ years gets depressed at times, its annoying as hell because she gets whiny. I just nod and uh-huh my way through it.
 
[quote name='pdat2003']shaq-fu antidepressants, they just mask your true feelings and who you really are.[/quote]

Kind of creepy coming from a user with an O.J. Simpson avatar...
 
[quote name='WhipSmartBanky'][quote name='pdat2003']shaq-fu antidepressants, they just mask your true feelings and who you really are.[/quote]

Kind of creepy coming from a user with an O.J. Simpson avatar...[/quote]

Word.
 
[quote name='Zenithian Legend'] I just don't want to throw away a 10 month relationship, I've always been one of those guys that does the 2 months or less kind of thing, and this one actually was worth something.[/quote]

U have to ask yourself "if you don't want to throw away 10 months worth of work" or 10 months worth of "love and building a relationship."

If u r upset about 10 months of effort, then break it off because obviously you are more worried about time and effrot gone to waste.

But, if SHE is what matters, if SHE is more important than your 10 months, then tell her about how you have been a "two month guy in the past," and how that is diff with her, AND, how you need her to work through her problems "with" you to build a relationship.

It is not your 10 months of effort that is important here, it is the 10 month of the relationship you "share."
 
[quote name='WhipSmartBanky']I think I'd be depressed if my girlfriend went seeking relationship advice on a cheap ass gaming message board.[/quote]

If you read my original post I said I didn't want to talk to any of my roommates or friends about it because sure enough it'd get around to her and that'd just be bad news. I appreciate the comments, I've just got some serious thinking to do. I guess I kinda knew what type of situation I was in, but it's still reassuring to hear that other people have experienced the same thing and now several of you are married to that person.
 
knock her out when shes facing the other way, blindfold her, tie her up, then dump her off somewhere...then go save her...and she'll be happy with you for the rest of your life...if not, do it again
 
[quote name='trustcompany1013']knock her out when shes facing the other way, blindfold her, tie her up, then dump her off somewhere...then go save her...and she'll be happy with you for the rest of your life...if not, do it again[/quote]

Hey it worked for mario :)
 
Hey ZL, if you'de like some more specific advice tell us more, like why she is depressed, with what you've said i'de have to agree with everyone else. If its a depression without much reason you might just want to give her some space for a little bit to work it out on her own( of course it depends on what kind of person she is though).
 
is it cause you cant hit it? maybe you should try viagra or the new ENZYTE :D that might help, ive been with my gf for like about a year, things go great after we fight. cause we have make up sex :)
 
[quote name='Zenithian Legend'][quote name='WhipSmartBanky']I think I'd be depressed if my girlfriend went seeking relationship advice on a cheap ass gaming message board.[/quote]

If you read my original post I said I didn't want to talk to any of my roommates or friends about it because sure enough it'd get around to her and that'd just be bad news. I appreciate the comments, I've just got some serious thinking to do. I guess I kinda knew what type of situation I was in, but it's still reassuring to hear that other people have experienced the same thing and now several of you are married to that person.[/quote]

Read your original post? Why would I do that?

[quote name='captainfrizo'][quote name='yellowaznboy']Ask her sister out.[/quote]

I'm sure that will go over real well.[/quote]

If that doesn't work, bang her mom. Then, even if you guys break up, you'll know what it feels like to bang your girlfriend 20-30 years from now.
 
[quote name='captainfrizo'][quote name='yellowaznboy']Ask her sister out.[/quote]

I'm sure that will go over real well.[/quote]

If that doesn't work, bang her mom. Then, even if you guys break up, you'll know what it feels like to bang your girlfriend 20-30 years from now.[/quote]

Actually, that could work. If the sex with her mom isn't good, you might not want to keep her daughter around for the long haul.
 
[quote name='godhatesjustyou']man, when i first saw the topic, i thought you were gonna tell us a good joke.[/quote]

This guy's fingering his girlfriend. She says to him, "Take off your ring! It's hurting me!" The guy replies, "That's not my ring, that's my watch!"

A-thankyou. I'm here all weekend! Tip your cows and your waitresses.
 
smack her on the ass and tell her to go bake you a cake.

if that doesnt cause a change, THEN bang her mom.

if that THAT doesnt work out, you'll atleast have an easy way of breaking up with ur gf.. just mention that you banged her mom and more than likely she'll dump you right then.


(only kidding, dont think i'm just trying to be an asshole)
 
Ditch her and find a new one. You don't need depressed women in your life. Even if you somehow 'cure' her of depression, it sounds like she will just return at a later time. Definitely not worth the effort.
 
[quote name='SpookyD']Hey ZL, if you'de like some more specific advice tell us more, like why she is depressed, with what you've said i'de have to agree with everyone else. If its a depression without much reason you might just want to give her some space for a little bit to work it out on her own( of course it depends on what kind of person she is though).[/quote]

1. She's just depressed for no reason, she says she doesn't feel that she's being "fair to me", which is why I'm questioning the whole relationship.

[quote name='WhipSmartBanky'][quote name='Mr_hockey66']yup. I gald she would have me. Lets face gamers are hard to love![/quote]

Are you drunk? :beer:[/quote]

2. I dunno about him, but I've started in on a bit of drinking with the neighbors.

[quote name='yellowaznboy']Ask her sister out.[/quote]

3. Her sister could practically be her twin, but she irritates me and she lives an hour away.

[quote name='Storamin']Ditch her and find a new one. You don't need depressed women in your life. Even if you somehow 'cure' her of depression, it sounds like she will just return at a later time. Definitely not worth the effort.[/quote]

4. I'm tempted to honestly... but I'm gonna try to ride this one out and give it a little more time before I pull the plug, it's kind of like a dying grandparent (there's your sick joke).

5. I'm not even gonna discuss the mom thing as that's just too ridiculous.

6. Seems I've started talking to my roommate about this anyway, ya... this is gonna be a long night.
 
[quote name='captainfrizo'][quote name='yellowaznboy']Ask her sister out.[/quote]

I'm sure that will go over real well.[/quote]

worked for Martin Broduer
 
I had been with my GF for 2 years and a couple weeks ago we broke up...I loved her but I just couldnt deal with it anymore...Im too young for being in love and cant handle that kind of baggage...Just be honest and explain how you feel...If she doesnt understand your not meant to be
 
Have you tried talking to her one on one, to where she cant put up a wall? Just because somethings bothering her, doesn't mean it has to do with your relationship. You really need to find out what that is, because my advice to you would differ depending on what's bothering her. I hope everything goes well.
 
have you guys ever fucked? ive seen some thing on the internet where the girls talking to the guy, and breaks up with him, so in the same conversation, he says, ok.. ok.. im gonig to sleep with your mom. and yea. ill look for the video, verry funny.. the girls pleed him not to do it, but at the end.. well find out :)
 
i still say you should smack her on the ass and tell her to bake you a cake... not sure why, i've just always wanted to see the look on a chicks face when somebody did that to them...
 
[quote name='WhipSmartBanky']At least bang her one more time before you drop the axe.[/quote]

Obviously that will happen sooner or later again regardless of how this ends, I've found once you've banged someone so many times doing it again for no apparent reason other than for the sake of getting your rocks off isn't unusual.

[quote name='6669']Have you tried talking to her one on one, to where she cant put up a wall? Just because somethings bothering her, doesn't mean it has to do with your relationship. You really need to find out what that is, because my advice to you would differ depending on what's bothering her. I hope everything goes well.[/quote]

We always talk one on one, but she'll just get all quiet and stop talking like a p.o.w. or something, and that's when I get frustrated cuz I get tired of hearing myself talking real quick.
 
[quote name='Zenithian Legend'] I just don't want to throw away a 10 month relationship[/quote]
Ten months? Come on man. Cut your losses and move on. If she is this way at 10 months, then she will be this way at 20, 30, 40... Ten months does not constitute a long relationship. It's ok to be sympathetic to another person's feelings but not at the expense of your own.
 
well,me and my g/f have been going out about a year now,and before we started going out but we started making out and all. well,this girl i had been going out with until she moved to kentucky im'ed me and me and her started talking and i didnt even think about what i was doing and told her that my g/f now meant nothing to me and all. damn that was a huge mistake,cause my g/f found out and she hasnt trusted me since (which i dont blame her because of what i did),but i am really happy i am with her even though she doesnt even let me look up when we are out half the time cause the girls that are around...she thinks i might think about wanting to screw them just because i see them. she gets really depressed sometimes because i did that (and i dont blame her still),but i wouldnt throw away a year long relationship with her because she gets depressed. you just have to ask yourself how much you really care about her before you do something.
 
[quote name='biggestinuyashafan']well,me and my g/f have been going out about a year now,and before we started going out but we started making out and all. well,this girl i had been going out with until she moved to kentucky im'ed me and me and her started talking and i didnt even think about what i was doing and told her that my g/f now meant nothing to me and all. damn that was a huge mistake,cause my g/f found out and she hasnt trusted me since (which i dont blame her because of what i did),but i am really happy i am with her even though she doesnt even let me look up when we are out half the time cause the girls that are around...she thinks i might think about wanting to screw them just because i see them. she gets really depressed sometimes because i did that (and i dont blame her still),but i wouldnt throw away a year long relationship with her because she gets depressed. you just have to ask yourself how much you really care about her before you do something.[/quote]

You are sooooo... ready for the couch.
 
[quote name='mousin']is it cause you cant hit it? maybe you should try viagra or the new ENZYTE :D that might help, ive been with my gf for like about a year, things go great after we fight. cause we have make up sex :)[/quote]

That enzyte commercial is hilarious "Bob knows a lot about wood" LMFAO
 
[quote name='pdat2003']I updated my avatar to reflect my true personality![/quote]

You look a little like the son of Squiggy to me. Do you work in a brewery?
 
For starters, this is the wrong site to ask for dating advice, secondly I went out with a depressed girl and as bad as this sounds I had to break up with her because being around her was depressing me, nobody is worth your personal health.
 
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