What do you do?

[quote name='sotb_96']Well...where do i start? The woman i have loved and cared for the past three years handed me divorce papers at the beginning of this month...the next week..i find out she has been cheating on me....this weekend i find some of their love letters....so here i am....i dont trust easy and dont open up easy..i have never had a friend or even family that didnt try to stick a knife in my back sooner or later...but i opened myself up to this woman heart and soul..trusted her...I took care of her and her two kids who i love very much for THREE years...now im tossed away like i meant nothing for a new model....i feel worthless...un loved...and alone at christmas...so what do i do? whats the point? move on so it can just happen again? anyone give me a reason not to empty my gun into my head? please no assholes ..i dont need a reminder of how bad people suck right now....i am really, really at a breaking point right now[/QUOTE]

First off, sorry man. Keep your head up and learn from what happens here. We all go through this bullshit. Even those that post here and act like they're perfect. The ones that act like that are the ones who are the most fucked up.

Forget revenge and just grieve. Once you get the grieving done you will move on. If you waste time on revenge you are lowering yourself to her level and at the same time never getting past her. Remember that you need to move on not prove anything to her.

Not all women are like that. Things will get better if you let them. Right now it sucks and that is to be expected. Time will heal you though.

Merry Christmas!
 
Advoid girls for a long time and enjoy the single life tell you are ready to start over again. For kicks you can taunt the kids.
 
got a few things from my folks and brother..guess i wont be getting that psp slim the soon to be ex said she was getting me...its funny...On Oct 27 she was making plans for us to go to the mountains of Tennesse for our anniversary in Feb..to renew vows and to start over....then on Dec 5 she is shoving divorce papers in my face..oh well.. i took back that expensive pair of diamond earings i had bought her as well as the pocket book
 
I read about a species of monkeys called mandrill monkeys.
the males mate with the females, and when the females give birth, they take the baby and leave. the males live a life by themselves... yet they are happy! surely, if monkeys can do it, cant you? Your just in shock. remember, the first step is denial
 
Hey bro, just remember that there are lots of people who care about you.

I know its been said but time will heal you. I'd also try to use the motivation of proving her wrong to improve yourself, your health, your wealth, your happiness.
 
Hmm, I feel compelled to add something here, but all the right things have already been said.

Obviously you're not going to start feeling better until after the holidays, but make a New Years Resolution to forget this bopper and accept that life is going to be better without her. I really liked the idea of going to the gym, that is a great way to take your mind off the situation, and to release aggression. Even if you're not in to lifting weights you could play a sport there, or run... hell if you don't own, or want to own a gym membership, you can always take up running/jogging.

Other ideas I've come up with for your moderate amusement:

Some time later you could always consider sleeping with a friend or sister of hers. This works because you can both enjoy pointing out all of her flaws or times she's wronged the both of you. I think this works best if she already has a strained relationship with one of those individuals.

Another fun idea would be to let her know about the "VD" you've been hiding from her. This is fun because while hopefully untrue, it provides a short window of time in which she could potentially freak out. Who knows with any luck she actually believes you and schedules an unrequired trip to the doctor's office.

Another fun thing to do is get a good legal team together to take all the important material assets you accumulated as a couple. Things like the house, vehicles and the family pet shouldn't go to the one guilty of adultry, right?

Take all those ideas with a grain of salt though, more to try to raise a dry smile than a crazy plan.
 
She had a HOT friend that i would love to do this with...unfortunately this friend is married to my cousin..D'OH
 
kinda ironic...saw the "Topanga" arrested thread below....my soon to be ex was a ringer for her..she had a lot of friends that called her topanga
 
[quote name='sotb_96']She had a HOT friend that i would love to do this with...unfortunately this friend is married to my cousin..D'OH[/quote]

Oof, that doesn't help the situation. Hopefully you don't see your soon to be ex at any family events. And if you do, hopefully she's gained weight.
 
i dont know why i keep torturing myself...weve talked..one minute she is like i dont want to do this..the next "please sign the papers" i know i should move on..i was counseling before i was a probation officer...gave the same advice...told everybody it would get better...IT DOESNT...EVERY DAY HURTS MORE THAN THE NEXT
 
[quote name='sotb_96']i dont know why i keep torturing myself...weve talked..one minute she is like i dont want to do this..the next "please sign the papers" i know i should move on..i was counseling before i was a probation officer...gave the same advice...told everybody it would get better...IT DOESNT...EVERY DAY HURTS MORE THAN THE NEXT[/quote]

I guess maybe being out of the bubble is good? I don't remember who said it but someone said this girl was a cheater, always will be, and it's not worth sticking around anyway. With this said, don't "try to fix it" because there isn't anything to fix. Let her do whatever she wants... just sign the paper, split everything up, and move on. I think it will be the best for you.

Sorry I didn't post earlier after my first post but I've been busy lately.
 
It's time to cope with your own life man. Thousands upon thousands of American men deal with divorce every year, and you can too. Stop dwelling on it so much, and get busy with something else in your life. I guarantee spending time posting here on CAG is not the path to healing.
 
If she fucked you other so badly, i can't understand how you could even worry about a worthless individual like that. You need to go out, find new people to hang around and make something more of yourself.
 
its cool..i appreciate the advice i have recieved..but i can tell im getting on nerves now..nobody wants to hear a guy whine about this
 
[quote name='sotb_96']its cool..i appreciate the advice i have recieved..but i can tell im getting on nerves now..nobody wants to hear a guy whine about this[/quote]
Push through. Head down if necessary, but always push through. Life is a deck of cards. You're dealt shit you don't need, but there's always something better coming up. You may have to fold, but don't stop playing.
 
[quote name='sotb_96']nobody wants to hear a guy whine about this[/quote]

I know I sound dickish, but.....yea. You're right. We're ready to see you move up and out of this. And honestly, in all seriousness, I hope you have a better support system in place than just CAG. It's a waste of your time and effort to seek solace and consolation on an internet forum.

It will get better. That's not cliche', it really will. Life, for all of us, consists of peaks and valleys. Welcome to your Lowest Valley; next stop, Peaksville.
 
well gentlemen..you'll be proud to know i scored a date this weekend..so OPERATION MOVING ON IS IN PROGRESS
Only problem is now...i'm a little inimidated she is a lawyer who makes about 4 times what i make..never thought that would bother me..but it does a little
 
As an attorney who has MANY female lawyer freinds who can't get dates b/c guys are intimidated of them I offer this advice: IGNORE IT.

Forget about the fact that she makes more than you, forget about the fact that she has the power that comes with being an attorney and just picture her as a typical/normal girl you would date. It is probably what she wants you to do.

Tip: Read up on some politics or shit we talk about in the vs. forums, attorneys are typically interested in this stuff and it may help you have some stuff to talk about that you'll both be interested in.

BTW I'm happy that you're on the road to peaksville. When alot of ppl give the same advie it is probably good, and the advice that seems to be recurring here is to keep going, try to get busy and improve yourself, and give it time. Though some days may be worse than others, you will eventually (over the long term) get over her. If you don't this can be a bigger problem than the divorce. Focus on healing.
 
[quote name='sotb_96']well gentlemen..you'll be proud to know i scored a date this weekend..so OPERATION MOVING ON IS IN PROGRESS
Only problem is now...i'm a little inimidated she is a lawyer who makes about 4 times what i make..never thought that would bother me..but it does a little[/quote]

congrats on the date. I cant give much advice, just be yourself
so cliche... I know :p
and DONT mention your ex- wife. Your on the road to recovery, just dont stop for gas on the way :D
 
Gentlemen..things went well...well much better than well..date started at 7:30 and ended at her house at 1:30 p.m. the next day sooooo.SCORE!!! and we had a hell of a lot in common despite the fact that should could buy and sale my slacker ass
 
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