I noticed this article about some of Shaq's acting goodness.
http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=86119
Article Text:
Inside this actor's studio
The film opens with Shaquille O'Neal chained in a dirty bathroom, whacking his head on a metal pipe (pause for laughs), calling out, "Help! Help!" Hearing a voice, Shaq wonders, "Kobe?" (Pause for laughs.) No -- Dr. Phil, also in chains. Nerve gas seeps into the room, and their escape hinges on O'Neal's ability to throw a rock (free throw distance) into a hoop. He misses twice. "Shut out the 'no' voice," Dr. Phil says. (Pause for laughs.) Shaq finally makes the shot.
Minutes later, my popcorn runs out, Charlie Sheen overdoses on Viagra and my eyelids become leaden ... slowly, Scary Movie 4 fades ... thoughts of Shaquille O'Neal, thespian ... and ...
... O'Neal, seated next to a desk onstage, smiling at bearded, index card-wielding host James Lipton.
Lipton: It's been said the most difficult role is oneself. What did Shaquille O'Neal learn about Shaquille O'Neal while playing Shaquille O'Neal in Scary Movie 4?
Shaq: That I can make free throws when they count. Take that, Phil Jackson.
Once awake, it strikes me that O'Neal still gets roles -- seen any good Icy Hot ads lately? But Shaq's best -- er, most notable -- work has been on the big screen. Inspired by Scary Movie 4, I decide to delve into O'Neal's body of work with the First Annual Shaq Film Fest, starting, of course, with the defining moment of Shaq-ting: Kazaam.
Lipton: Every now and then a film comes along that changes the way we think about 5,000-year-old genies who live in boomboxes and grant wishes to suburban children. Kazaam was that movie. What did you take from that project?
Shaq: I took a vow never to agree to another movie until I read the script.
Lipton: Wonderful! May we speak to Kazaam?
Shaq: Yes. But he will rap.
Lipton: Never mind.
Blue Chips is the best of Shaq's oeuvre and features the finest line of his career: He tells Mary McDonnell, his tutor, "You think you are a liberal, but you're nothing but a racist." Ouch! But, of course, I am sleepy again ...
Lipton: In the 1994 tour de force, Blue Chips, you worked with the master of versatility -- Mr. Nick Nolte. He stretched his persona to play boozy, hard-luck coach Pete Bell. What was it like to bask in the light of his multifaceted talent?
Shaq: Well, he's the only guy ever to get me and Penny Hardaway to play together.
In Steel, Shaq was a metal-clad superhero with a hammer for an arm (telling several villains, predictably, "It's hammer time!" just before clobbering them). I've seen Steel. It may cheat the film fest spirit, but I can't bear to see it again. Instead, I flip through some old reviews.
Lipton: About Steel, the St. Petersburg Times wondered: "Where do you begin to ridicule Steel?" Where, Shaquille, would you begin to ridicule Steel?
Shaq: #$%&*!
Lipton: Delightful!
Some argue Shaq spent too much of his basketball career pursuing interests outside basketball and did not take full advantage of his talent. Perhaps he should have focused on sit-ups and free throws. Because reviews of O'Neal's movies generally have ranged from thumbs down to upchuck, a wisenheimer Buffalo News reviewer once wrote, "When will he tire of making a spectacle of himself?"
If only the answer were never. O'Neal is 34 and embarking on another playoff run, but soon, he'll retire. I'm already feeling a pang of regret. Shaq made terrible movies, but they represent his character: He is a star athlete unafraid of embarrassment. That quality is nearly nonexistent in the modern NBA. Or in most any sport.
Can you imagine, say, LeBron James playing a metal-clad action hero? The guy won't even enter the slam dunk contest. Allen Iverson as a genie? What, and damage his street cred?
O'Neal doesn't understand acting, but he understands entertainment. When he leaves, that aspect of pro sports goes with him. Enjoy him while you can.
Lipton: And now we come to the questionnaire developed by the great Bernard Pivot. What are your favorite words?
Shaq: Contract extension.
Lipton: What are your least favorite words?
Shaq: Green and leafy.
Lipton: Marvelous!
Marvelous, indeed.
ing game ever!
