What should I do?

Please, please, please, seek help. You may very well have a chemical imbalance, and that can spiral downward very quickly. My nephew committed suicide after stopping his meds without any of us knowing, and it has devastated our family. I know you don't think you have friends, but I am sure many people care about you and your feelings.

As far as not having life goals, I think we put too much pressure on 18/19 year olds to know their paths in life. Really, college should be about finding that out. It's okay. I switched majors three times--staying in the basic area of interest, just tweaking a bit--and I'm fine.

Not social? It's okay. My cousin was exactly as you are, even worse. He wouldn't speak to you if you had directly spoken to him some days. He said he was paralyzed by fear--of speaking to family members. He went to a big campus, and I thought he'd die of fright. But it got him out of his shell a little bit, by junior year. He then met his now wife at work. How long did they date? 10 years. I kid you not. Don't judge your life on the first part.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']How is enjoying your life selfish? You offered to do something w/ someone and they never got back to you. To me, that basically says that you're aren't as important to them as they say you are. Better to spend it w/ people who would actually spend time w/ you vs. people who say they'll hang out.[/QUOTE]Not a bad idea. I had several old H.S. friends like that (actually, those are the main friends who continue to do it to me). I'll admit a few of them I completely given up on, but a few I kept trying. I dunno, I tend to spend way too much time trying to please others in reality and hope they become good/better friends with me (such as how I use to offer to really help people out with their homework, sometimes even doing it for them while they have a good time and I'm stressed).

Now, it's just a matter of finding friends to do stuff with. Luckily, there are a lot of CAG members lurking here who go to my college, so maybe I can get one of them to hang out with me.

[quote name='browneyedgal68']Please, please, please, seek help. You may very well have a chemical imbalance, and that can spiral downward very quickly. My nephew committed suicide after stopping his meds without any of us knowing, and it has devastated our family. I know you don't think you have friends, but I am sure many people care about you and your feelings.

As far as not having life goals, I think we put too much pressure on 18/19 year olds to know their paths in life. Really, college should be about finding that out. It's okay. I switched majors three times--staying in the basic area of interest, just tweaking a bit--and I'm fine.

Not social? It's okay. My cousin was exactly as you are, even worse. He wouldn't speak to you if you had directly spoken to him some days. He said he was paralyzed by fear--of speaking to family members. He went to a big campus, and I thought he'd die of fright. But it got him out of his shell a little bit, by junior year. He then met his now wife at work. How long did they date? 10 years. I kid you not. Don't judge your life on the first part.[/QUOTE]I honestly wouldn't be surprised if I had some chemical imbalance, but I'm not the type to seek help with anything medical related (although I should).

I dunno, I must know what my goal in life because I'm already too old to continue thinking about it (I'm over 21).

I probably wasn't as bad as your cousin, but I still haven't completely broken out of my shell. The only ones I've appeared to be comfortable talking to are those in my major (only about stuff related to my major).
 
I used to feel the same way, even though I had a few friends during high school. Now I'm in college and I don't have too many friends. I live at home and commute to school. Like I said I used to be pretty depressed but I think I just grew out of it.. I'm 21 now so maybe it was a teen type thing. I did see a shrink for a while but only to get a letter of recommendation for an upcoming court date (I've had a few drug charges). Nowadays, I just hang out... go to classes.. work with my dad.. and on the weekends I hang out with friends, I'd say maybe 1 or 2 days a week. Last year, I got all A's in every class but this semester my classes are kind of boring and I'm not too interested in them. Regardless, I'm still going to try to get all A's again but it's going to be a much bigger struggle. All I can say is try to think positively. I know that sounds somewhat obsurd but really, give it a shot.

You're alive, healthy, free. What more do you need? Take life into your own hands. Find something you're interested in and just live day to day. Try to be comfortable with yourself and eventually you'll stop worrying.
 
[quote name='browneyedgal68']Please, please, please, seek help. You may very well have a chemical imbalance, and that can spiral downward very quickly. My nephew committed suicide after stopping his meds without any of us knowing, and it has devastated our family. I know you don't think you have friends, but I am sure many people care about you and your feelings.[/quote]

:roll:

This kid is fine, no need to scare him. I'm sure hysterical reactions like this are what keeps ppl from talking abt their issues.
 
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