It's the middle of the night. Reggie's Wii (special edition) glows, and the Wii-mote that he sleeps next to makes a faint, pleasant sound. Reggie gets up quietly, in order not to alarm the wife or the kids, and walks into his office. His TV turns on, and NINTENDO SECRET NETWORK is lit up... "Conference with Iwata awaits..." Reggie flicks the Wii-mote, trying his best not to appear as sleepy.
Iwata's image appears on the screen, and the man is shining. He's playing The Legend of Zelda: Unconfirmed Title for Wii, but that isn't news to Reggie.
Iwata: I've been reading the wonderful words of people at Kh-Ah-Guh. They have a forum, and I've understood what must be done.
Reggie: Not another human sacrifice?!
Iwata: Reggie... I think we finally found the correct price! We can still come out ahead by selling Wii for only $149.99!
Reggie: What? That's... That's wonderful news!
Iwata: Get ready for your press conference, I want YOU, my trusty coadjutor, to spread the news in the morning.
Reggie: Wait, hold on... you mean 149 US DOLLARS? For the release in the U.S.?
Iwata: Yes, of course... Have you gone to bed already? I told you to practice Super Smash Bros. Melee for the company picnic next friday.
Reggie: Iwata-san, I beg your understanding: the american gamer community believes in money being power. They don't want the best - they simply do not know what "the best is," what they want is technology that is expensive.
Iwata: You mean...
Reggie: Yes. A low price may mean another N64. We can not possibly go that low: Sony will declare that we are cheap because we have nothing to sell in the first place, and children all over North America will buy into that, because they are gullable. Just look at the sales of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas!
Iwata: But that game was... Racist!
Reggie: Iwata-san... We've been through this so many times...
Iwata: Forgive me, Reggie. I have forgotten about the true meaning of your country. Your culture. Your conquest. Your Electronic Boutiques. Your Best Buys. Your Wal Marts...
Reggie: ... I hate my country.
Iwata: At the Tokyo Game Show, we will announce the price. Two hundred and fifty U.S. dollars. We'll sell them for $100 in Japan, I do not wish to anger the gods.
Reggie: Be that as you wish, Iwata-san. Good night.
Iwata:
America. Good night.
This is a real interview. It was recorded over two phone sessions through France. Really. I didn't want to tell you, because this may get Nintendo in trouble. You know... with Nintendo.