wlau's Contest (Winner = SpazX)

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Wow, that's pretty awesome that you're giving all that stuff away. Considering my luck at anything, I won't win. But still yet, cool.
 
There was this young guy who lived in Arkansas whose dream was to become a journalist for the state's most prominent newspaper. Proving himself more than worthy in school, the chief editor of the paper offered him an internship, which he more than happily scooped up. The chief, wanting to see how the kid would handle himself in the field, sent him to interview a few people in a small farming community for some local news.

The young man went down to this deep south community, but became incredibly frustrated as none of the locals wanted to be interviewed. Out of desperation, he finally resorted to interviewing Farmer Joe- an old and dirty lookin' sum'na'bitch with a long drawl and heavy accent. They then proceeded with the questioning:

Guy: "So anything newsworthy happen in the past couple days?"

Farmer Joe: "Waaayll, a coooouple days agooo Jimmeh Booob lost his sheeeep in thuh woooods, so we fooound it, fuuuuuucked it, and brought it hoooome."

Guy: "What? I can't put that in the news! Did anything else happen?"

Farmer Joe: Waaayll, a coooouple weeks agooo Chaaarlie lost his daaaawter in thuh woooods, so we fooound 'er, fuuuuuucked 'er, and brought 'er hoooome."

Guy: "I CAN'T PUT THAT SHIT IN THE NEWS EITHER! ISN'T THERE ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE YOU fuckING SOMETHING ELSE? CHRIST!"

Farmer Joe started to ponder this for awhile. The young man noticed that the farmer suddenly looked sullen and ashamed. He was slouching more than before and his head hung low. 'Joe then sadly blurted out:

"Waaayll, aboout a munth agooo I got lost in thuh woooods..."
 
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