30 years old and still living at home with your mom?

[quote name='HanawayCoca']
That's right, I saved over $26,000 in that time. I was able to put a downpayment on a condo I can now call my own and bought myself a lot of good things like TV's, a new desktop, a refrigerator, etc.

If I hadn't moved back in, I would've just burned that $26,000 into a lousy rental home that I would've been stuck paying and sharing with other people for necessity.[/QUOTE]

...and you're proud of this? I could have saved that a few times over if I elected to live with my parents. Instead, I lived broke for a few years so I could understand the value of things.

Jesus Christ. I give up. America is the worst country in the world. I was wrong.
 
My Japanese cousin-in-laws are like 37 and 40 and still live in their parents' house. Another one is around 35 and he just moved out a bit over a year ago because he got married. Their 96 (or so, can't remember) year old grandma also lives in the same house. Obviously this is more common in Japan than America. Still was kind of pathetic though.

[quote name='81ols']We've all got our stories and reasons for why we are living at home with mom. And here is mine.

I was living on my own, and was an idiot and drank and partied a bunch. After I got my second DUI at 26, I met and moved in with my girlfriend. She turned out to be a different person than she had led me to believe she was, unfortunately she was pregnant with my child before i realized it. She sucked me dry(financially and emotionally) before we split. So my folks invited me to move back home, reassuring me they would be there for me and my son. So, at that point I had began to see the error of my ways of the drinking, and the tens of thousands of dollars of fines, lawyers, and dues, and it being time to be responsible and be a father, I was dead broke living with my folks. And then, me just turning 28 and my son 9 months old, my folks were planning on moving down south to live near my brother and I was going to stay up here. First dad would go down and get working, then when the house and everything was set, mom would move down. It was Friday, my dad was planning to leave on Monday or Tuesday. He picked me up from work, and we took a little cruse and smoked a cigarette, and he told me how he would miss me and my son, and how i needed to take care of mom while he was gone. We all went to dinner that night together. And at 11pm, mom woke me, saying she couldn't get dad to wake up. He had passed. So mom never moved, and I stayed here with her. Then, a year and a half later, the machine shop I had worked at for 11 years, closed and relocated the machining of the product to south Texas.
Now, I am 30 years old, have been unemployed for a year, and am days away from an opportunity to work at John Deere. Oh, and still live with mom, and she drives me nuts. But ya gotta love her, she put up with my all my bullshit up till now, after all![/QUOTE]

Now this is just fucking depressing. That must have been a terrible loss.
 
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[quote name='berzirk']...and you're proud of this? I could have saved that a few times over if I elected to live with my parents. Instead, I lived broke for a few years so I could understand the value of things.

Jesus Christ. I give up. America is the worst country in the world. I was wrong.[/QUOTE]
Uhm hello?

The reason I moved back in with my folks in the first place, is because I already understood the value of things when I moved out and rented for about 5 years.

I already learned the lesson you're learning.

I went from being broke to getting my own place.

So yes I'm proud of this.
 
[quote name='ph33r m3']If you graduate from college and live with your parents, you're a loser.

30? Just kill yourself.

You want to save money, cut back on different expenses.

It's called being a man and dealing with your shit and not sucking on the teet of your parents.

Jesus, "Hey, I'm 30 and live with my parents....wanna bang?"

Christ.[/QUOTE]

Instead of making a valid point, you just showed you have no idea how to get women.

"Hey, I'm 30 and at home. I live by myself. You know what? My mom is visiting this weekend and she's been lonely ever since my dad passed away. She met a great guy from church and I want to leave the two of them at my place. I was planning on going to a motel but I don't want to be alone. Is it okay if I stay on your couch tonight? We can talk and watch a movie"

 
I agree with it being a double edged sword.

I'm 31 and still live with my mom. I didn't get a steady job until I was 24 but since then I wanted to pay for all of my stuff on my own. Even though my mom co-signed for my car, I feel damn great that 100% of the payments for it came out of my pocket (last year the car was finally paid off). I also feel good that I can pay for my own food, clothing, entertainment, gym membership, and transportation costs (including insurance) without even asking for a penny (I think it was years and years of hearing how not having enough money can be a burden that made me uncomfortable to ask anyone for cash).

On the other hand, I work in retail and work hours are down so my income isn't very high. Mom pays for everything else like electric, water, phone (although I pay for my own cell phone), and internet. She pays for cable although I could live without it; in fact, we both pay for Netflix - I pay for the streaming service and she pays for the DVD by mail. I was paying for college classes and am about 6 credits away from my Associates degree, but I don't know where else to go for a job with higher income so I could afford my own place. That would also help my love life which is practically non-existant. "Hey, let's go back to my moms" isn't exactly something I want to say to a girlfriend.

Sometimes my mom gives me mixed signals. One minute it's "You need to make more money" and the next minute is "How come you're not taking a vacation?" Since watching The Suze Orman Show last year, I've been watching my spending. And yet, I don't know what to do next.
 
[quote name='HanawayCoca']Uhm hello?

The reason I moved back in with my folks in the first place, is because I already understood the value of things when I moved out and rented for about 5 years.

I already learned the lesson you're learning.

I went from being broke to getting my own place.

So yes I'm proud of this.[/QUOTE]

You were renting a house. That's better than anybody that I knew who was really battling it. Live in a crappy little one bedroom apartment for a fraction of the cost. I don't know. I'm just really annoyed by the number of people who are posting like it's their right to live with their parents. They brag about how much they saved living rent-free for years, so they can move out and feel rich. Why were they living rent free in their parent's house? They didn't consume any water, eat food, watch cable, use the phone, use the heat? Maybe the parents still had house payments, who knows. An extra adult body in a house is expensive.

To be proud at pulling all of that off so your parents who have already spent hundreds of thousands on you throughout your lifetime can spend more on you in adulthood is appalling.
 
I'm 30 and still live with my parents but not due to financial reasons because I have a comfortable paying job. I'm out of the house from 7AM to 8PM since I'm at the office during the day and go to the gym at night so I only see them an hour or two before they go to bed.

I'm pretty much set when it comes to savings and can comfortably live on my own but I help my parents out by paying rent and covering the phone and cable bills. My room is nothing more than a place to sleep.

They plan on selling the house and moving to a small apartment since they don't need all this space so I hope to be on my own within the year. Not sure if this is a cop out but I know they are definitely making use of the extra income I give them (and enjoying the cable to boot).

My girlfriend doesn't mind because she's old fashioned and wants me to help them out financially. Plus she knows I am saving a ton of money which will eventually go to a down payment on a house. But yeah, I'm definitely itching to get out soon. I'd gladly take the savings hit in order to get a place of my own.
 
I still live at home myself because there is no reason for me to move out until my job gets farther away from me. It helps me save cash and like Kendro, i too am mostly out of the house working and studying for my last semester of college. I already have my job after i graduate and have been saving money ever since . I also take care of paying some of the bills so my parents can save up easily for another trip back to Vietnam which I will help pay their way too.

I find nothing wrong with this if the situation is correct.
 
living at home and paying your FAIR Share i dont see a problem with

Living at home and too lazy to get off your fat ass to get a job there is a problem.


What im sick of is people who have children CRYING and complaning about how hard its is to make ends meet... YEA if you had one kid i feel sorry for you BUT If you have 3 + kids WEll that is your #)*)*)@$#$ problem.. NOone held a gun to your head and forced you to have more kids then you can afford to have

This is what is the messed up with the usa today... Just keep having more kids instead of getting a job to get a bigger goverment check... If we have to pay to raise your kids they should be taken from you day 1. Why should i have to pay for you to sit on your ass cause you had to0 many kids
 
My story: (short version)

Went to college. Graduated with 2 degrees and no debt. Moved in with my parents for 2 years. Couldn't find a job. Got an apartment. Couldn't find a job and moved back in with them. Lived with them another 9 years and saved all my money and bought a house, with help from my parents, at age 35 3 months ago with no mortgage. My 2009 Ford Focus is also paid off.

I am now staying at my parent's about 85% of the time to help with taking care of my Mom after a nasty cancer surgery. Not only that, I'm at a stressful period in my life and need to be around my family right now
I'm struggling with bipolar and going to therapy (psychiatrist and psychologist) for it.

So eat shit and die, haters. Yea yea, you have your pride, we get it - we don't give a shit. The economy's bad and you have to do what you have to do to survive. Or your probably jealous because you either had asshole parents or don't know how to get along with them GROW THE SHAQFU UP ALREADY!

If you're working and saving up money for your own place, that's one thing. But if you're a bum that fails at life and don't learn from your mistakes and you're not going to school or not working, then fuck you - you deserve all the skorn you get.
 
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My brother and sister both moved out, I didn't. At this point, we're all in our late 20s. My brother bounced around from job to job, moving in and out, until finally he came back with intent to try and stablize things before moving out again. My sister had to come back after losing her boyfriend and her job in the same week. They're both broke/in debt.

Maybe I look worse for not having tried to get out (I have savings, but my monthly income won't support an apartment and options to imporve it are slim.) Personally, I'm fine with it... after all, it's the savings I built up staying at home that made the house payments for about half a year after my mom broke her knee and lost her job. I hate to think of where we'd all be otherwise...
 
This living at home with your parents is a recurring theme with gamers, I've noticed... I bet there's a ton of people in their 30s who are lurking in this thread but are too ashamed to post...

Maybe the movie Grandma's Boy isn't too far off the mark...:D
 
My story

Enlisted in the Airforce at 18. Moved back in with my parents at 21 while i got my Fire Science and sports medicine degrees. Started working with the Fire department at 22 and a half. By then i had enough saved up to live on my own in some dump apartment but realized why sould i rent a place and throw my money away when im only in the place half a month. Talked it out with my folks and they were more than cool with it. Fast foward about 3 years now i can afford my own place instead of some crappy apartment. So staying with
my folks worked out in my case. I dont see why some posters are acting like assholes and saying others should feel bad about it. Sounds like they were kicked out by their folks and are still butthurt about it.
 
I'm not reading this thread, but you aren't an adult if you don't pay for your own shit. Especially if you have money for video games, but not rent/mortgage. Parents need to kick their kids in the ass in most cases. Cut the cord!
 
[quote name='2DMention']
Maybe the movie Grandma's Boy isn't too far off the mark...:D[/QUOTE]

I suppose that's better than step brothers...
 
[quote name='ChibiJosh']I'm 26 currently living at home. I got my masters degree in May, and I've been on the job search since. I've had a handful of interviews, but each time it's the same old story either I don't have enough experience or I'm overqualified and they're afraid I'd leave after a year for something better.
It's hard to find a job straight out of school when everyone's looking for 5 or 10 years experience. Even when I do find something entry level, I still seem to get passed over in favor of someone with years of experience.[/QUOTE]

This is where I'm at, except with a Bachelor's instead of a Master's. I couldn't get an internship/job while in school either so it's just making it doubly as hard to find one now. Even lowly retail jobs don't want me since I'm a college grad now. Which I thought was a myth, being overqualified for a job.
 
[quote name='Thongsy']This is where I'm at, except with a Bachelor's instead of a Master's. I couldn't get an internship/job while in school either so it's just making it doubly as hard to find one now. Even lowly retail jobs don't want me since I'm a college grad now. Which I thought was a myth, being overqualified for a job.[/QUOTE]

Believe me, it's very, very real. The only way I've gotten even shitty part-time work recently has been to omit vast tracks of my education and work history from my resume. Indeed, after banging my head against the wall for a while, getting the cold shoulder from places I believe should've looked at someone with my experience and skillset like a gift from the heavens, I specially wrote a lame-ass alternate resume, only mentioning stuff from 10 years back (and I no longer include dates) or just the recent shit, like Census work, that I've had to take in order to make ends meet. And it's worked well enough. I might even start throwing in intentional spelling and grammatical errors, since modern employers apparently love imbeciles so much.
 
[quote name='Kelegacy']
Bottom line is, it isn't fair to your parents.[/QUOTE]

but it is fair that their generation severely damaged the country and left their kids dismal job prospects, leaving many with little choice but to live at home. New college grads have the odds stacked against them, unemployment rates for them are sky high and, as people have already posted, it can be difficult to even get low level jobs.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/19/business/economy/19grads.html
 
Even if I wanted to move back home, I don't really have one to go back to. Would be nice to have the option, I suppose.

*shrug*
 
Best post in the thread. Wanting to save money when you have enough to pay for your own spot is bullshit. Have kids and see how much money you spend raising them. You'll be ashamed of every time you used your parents when you were capable of doing it on your own. It's a bunch of people pissing and moaning about how they would have to live in a crappy neighborhood and live frugally. Uh...welcome to life people. Your parents are doing a disservice to you by letting you suck off of them longer, but their love for you makes it too awkward to tell you to GTFO. A person that moves out at 18 will never live long enough to re-pay their parents for everything they did for you. Moving out at 30 makes it that much more ridiculous.
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I can't understand this mentality at all. I don't have kids (I know you do) so obviously I don't know everything there is to know about raising them. But I do know that there is nothing I wouldn't do to help one of my brothers get ahead of the game of life, so I'm assuming that I'll feel the same way about my kids. If there is anything I could do to keep them from having to live in a dump, I feel as though I would do it. My job as a parent would be to set them up for success, and if that takes letting them live at my house a few extra years to save cash to get a place that doesn't suck I wouldn't have to think twice about letting them stay at home.

I lived at home until I was 23, at which point I bought a house. 40% down, and enough cash left in the bank for my wife and I to live unemployed for 2 years. I'm very grateful to my family and what they did to help me when I was younger, rather than see that I turned a certain age, and then decide that it was now time for me to go out on my own. Every person is different, and no two situations are the same. The whole 18 and out philosophy is just stupid. You can't take the same approach to every child and situation they are in, but I assume you already know that.
 
[quote name='perdition(troy']Every person is different, and no two situations are the same. The whole 18 and out philosophy is just stupid. You can't take the same approach to every child and situation they are in, but I assume you already know that.[/QUOTE]


/Thread


But since that won't be "/Thread," I think the majority here can agree that people who mooch or mooch and even save their own money without contributing anything of value into their living situation into their 30s or whatever probably aren't doing anyone any good, including themselves. Anything less is more of a gray area because like the poster above said, every situation is different and everyone has different life philosophies for themselves and for raising children. And as other posters have said, different cultures have different ways of living that carry over into America. There is no one right way to do this. Not everything has to be "18 and out" and "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps." But at a certain point the cord should be cut so to speak. There is a difference between providing some support and simply coddling your adult children.
 
[quote name='berzirk']You were renting a house. That's better than anybody that I knew who was really battling it. Live in a crappy little one bedroom apartment for a fraction of the cost. I don't know. I'm just really annoyed by the number of people who are posting like it's their right to live with their parents. They brag about how much they saved living rent-free for years, so they can move out and feel rich. Why were they living rent free in their parent's house? They didn't consume any water, eat food, watch cable, use the phone, use the heat? Maybe the parents still had house payments, who knows. An extra adult body in a house is expensive.

To be proud at pulling all of that off so your parents who have already spent hundreds of thousands on you throughout your lifetime can spend more on you in adulthood is appalling.[/QUOTE]
And there is that failed misconseption.

Who says anything about my parents spending more when I came back to live there?

There home has been paid off since I was 20 years old, almost 7-8 years ago.

If anything, they're SAVING more money because like I mentioned before, I buy all the groceries and keep with the maintenance i.e. the yard, garden, and even brought my Direct TV subscription which I maintained til I moved out.

So they were SAVING money from food expense and up keep, while at the same time, I was also SAVING money from paying rent.

Surpise, surpise it's a win-win.

Even if let's say they were still paying their mortgage - they're still going to be paying that exact same mortgage with or without me moving in.

You guys who have this wrongful misconseption that parents are automatically spending more money just because an extra person is now living with them need to seriously live life much longer and actually live the experience rather than just assuming everything based on what you see on TV.
 
[quote name='perdition(troy']I can't understand this mentality at all. I don't have kids (I know you do) so obviously I don't know everything there is to know about raising them. But I do know that there is nothing I wouldn't do to help one of my brothers get ahead of the game of life, so I'm assuming that I'll feel the same way about my kids. If there is anything I could do to keep them from having to live in a dump, I feel as though I would do it. My job as a parent would be to set them up for success, and if that takes letting them live at my house a few extra years to save cash to get a place that doesn't suck I wouldn't have to think twice about letting them stay at home.

I lived at home until I was 23, at which point I bought a house. 40% down, and enough cash left in the bank for my wife and I to live unemployed for 2 years. I'm very grateful to my family and what they did to help me when I was younger, rather than see that I turned a certain age, and then decide that it was now time for me to go out on my own. Every person is different, and no two situations are the same. The whole 18 and out philosophy is just stupid. You can't take the same approach to every child and situation they are in, but I assume you already know that.[/QUOTE]

I think there's a big difference in living with your parents through college, and having landed a decent paying job, and still electing to live with them. My sister lived with my parents for a year while she got her masters, and they'd do things like leave cash if they would be out for the week so she could buy groceries, gas. Like I said, my parents are incredibly generous and would gladly let my family move in with them today if I asked. But I'm also stubborn like my father. I would rather live in a terrible place, dirt broke, then move in with them. I would feel like a burden even if they didn't think I was at all. I'd rather think back on how tough times were, and how appreciative I am with working out of that place.

I definitely don't think it should be 18 and done. Fully agree. But using your parents to inflate a bank account seems really shady. If you're going to school into your mid 20's meh...so be it. Seems a little more acceptable, but if you're gainfully employed, and living at home because you've got free room and board, that just seems exploitive and an awful way to tell your parents thanks for everything to that point.

And as a dad, if my kids are in their 20's and struggling, I'm going to do all I can to support them. If it means moving in with us, I'll do it in a heartbeat. I just hope my kids would only accept if they really needed it, not to make a fat nest egg. I would literally die for my kids, so I understand why many of your parents are OK with you living off of them, but I thought more people would have enough pride or motivation to rough it on their own rather than use their parents when the dire need wasn't there.

[quote name='HanawayCoca']And there is that failed misconseption.

Who says anything about my parents spending more when I came back to live there?

If anything, they're SAVING more money because like I mentioned before, I buy all the groceries and keep with the maintenance i.e. the yard, garden, and even brought my Direct TV subscription which I maintained til I moved out.

So they were SAVING money from food expense and up keep, while at the same time, I was also SAVING money from paying rent.

Surpise, surpise it's a win-win.

Even if let's say they were still paying their mortgage - they're still going to be paying that exact same mortgage with or without me moving in.

You guys who have this wrongful misconseption that parents are automatically spending more money just because an extra person is now living with them need to seriously live life much longer and actually live the experience rather than just assuming everything based on what you see on TV.[/QUOTE]

You rake leaves and buy some of the groceries, then make it easier for them to watch TV, and you think it's a win win and they are SAVING money? My God, you desperately need your own place so you can find out what bills are. I don't know how much you contribute to the grocery bill, but my guess is it probably covers the cost of water for your showers, and heat in your room. I hate to break it to ya, but even bringing a pet into the household costs money. Adding another adult is a hell of a lot more. It seems like you have a complete misunderstanding as to the cost of it all.

Saying a mortgate would be the same whether you're there or not is exactly my point. They are paying to live in that home. You aren't. Whether there's 50 people there or not isn't the point. You are looking at it as, well, they would be paying anyway, so me being there doesn't make a difference. Dazzling.

Swing by a RedBox on Thanksgiving. That way the meal you eat will be paid for by the Harold and Kumar movie you guys watch afterwards.

I think my biggest problem in all of this is that if you're living at home, employed, and you aren't paying rent, you are disrespecting and abusing your parents (unless you're taking care of your parents due to health, age, etc).
 
[quote name='berzirk']
I think my biggest problem in all of this is that if you're living at home, employed, and you aren't paying rent, you are disrespecting and abusing your parents (unless you're taking care of your parents due to health, age, etc).[/QUOTE]

Boils down to that. I agree with his sentiments.
 
I moved out of the nest when I was 18 to Seattle for school, after not liking being away from my friends and family I moved back to my hometown. I'm currently living with my girlfriend and my best friend while going to school at a University full time as well as working full time at Best Buy.

I think people have to get their priorities straight. If your 30+ and living with your folks, and you excuse is to save money on rent and food then it's time to grow the fuck up. Unless you have a real life emergency like the gentlemen on the first page, my heart doesn't go out for you. I pay all my bills, take care of my girlfriend, manage to keep up on my hobbies like gaming and movies all while still going out to bars with my friends on a Best Buy salary.

Life is about management. Time management, money management, etc. Always have a few bucks in the bank "just in case" and you will be fine. I've never had more fun in my life then living with my friends and doing what stupid kids my age do without my parents help. Nothing feels better then knowing I am 100% responsible for myself. No one is here babying me.
 
i'm 27, with a job, and i still live at home. i also pay rent, pay bills, help around the house, cook my own food, etc. bought the car off my dad. i support my brothers (one of whom can't really take care of himself), etc.

every time i say, "i'm gonna move out now" i get the opposition from the parents. "paying rent to someone you don't know," "just buy our house and we'll rent from you," "just save up to buy a house," etc. it's quite strange.

the problem is that i have very little faith, hope, and passion in my job, and i feel that putting down for a house would mean that i'm tethered to my job, which is what i don't want.

on the other hand i sometimes honestly feel like i'm not living with my parents, but that my parents are living with me. what a strange world.

also i hate the fact that i read about people buying 6 bedroom houses for $180k, and i'm like wtf, that won't even get you a 1 bedroom house in LA.

and also, i'm filipino, filial piety and all that

i think it's funny that people call it being helped by their parents. if anything i'm being held back because there's so much crap in the house that no one wants to throw away or do anything about.
 
[quote name='berzirk']I think there's a big difference in living with your parents through college, and having landed a decent paying job, and still electing to live with them. My sister lived with my parents for a year while she got her masters, and they'd do things like leave cash if they would be out for the week so she could buy groceries, gas. Like I said, my parents are incredibly generous and would gladly let my family move in with them today if I asked. But I'm also stubborn like my father. I would rather live in a terrible place, dirt broke, then move in with them. I would feel like a burden even if they didn't think I was at all. I'd rather think back on how tough times were, and how appreciative I am with working out of that place.

I definitely don't think it should be 18 and done. Fully agree. But using your parents to inflate a bank account seems really shady. If you're going to school into your mid 20's meh...so be it. Seems a little more acceptable, but if you're gainfully employed, and living at home because you've got free room and board, that just seems exploitive and an awful way to tell your parents thanks for everything to that point.

And as a dad, if my kids are in their 20's and struggling, I'm going to do all I can to support them. If it means moving in with us, I'll do it in a heartbeat. I just hope my kids would only accept if they really needed it, not to make a fat nest egg. I would literally die for my kids, so I understand why many of your parents are OK with you living off of them, but I thought more people would have enough pride or motivation to rough it on their own rather than use their parents when the dire need wasn't there.



You rake leaves and buy some of the groceries, then make it easier for them to watch TV, and you think it's a win win and they are SAVING money? My God, you desperately need your own place so you can find out what bills are. I don't know how much you contribute to the grocery bill, but my guess is it probably covers the cost of water for your showers, and heat in your room. I hate to break it to ya, but even bringing a pet into the household costs money. Adding another adult is a hell of a lot more. It seems like you have a complete misunderstanding as to the cost of it all.

Saying a mortgate would be the same whether you're there or not is exactly my point. They are paying to live in that home. You aren't. Whether there's 50 people there or not isn't the point. You are looking at it as, well, they would be paying anyway, so me being there doesn't make a difference. Dazzling.

Swing by a RedBox on Thanksgiving. That way the meal you eat will be paid for by the Harold and Kumar movie you guys watch afterwards.

I think my biggest problem in all of this is that if you're living at home, employed, and you aren't paying rent, you are disrespecting and abusing your parents (unless you're taking care of your parents due to health, age, etc).[/QUOTE]
Man you must have hated it back at home or something.

Like I mentioned before, my folks mortgage has been paid off 7-8 years ago when I was actually living away at another state in college.

So you said my grocery shopping basically paid for me using water? That's it? Okaaaaaaay.

So WHAT exactly are the expenses that my folks incurred just because of me when I lived there?

Yeah, please tell me, because me and my folks saw this as SAVING money on both sides, but apparently you know more about my life and situation like you know everyone else's.

Oh and yes, I've had the pleasure of paying bills which was the reason when given the chance to move back in, I gratefully accepted. Have never regretted it since. I never let my pride influence smarter thinking and better living. Living now in my own condo that I saved up beats living inside a rental home that's for sure.
 
[quote name='HanawayCoca']Man you must have hated it back at home or something.

Like I mentioned before, my folks mortgage has been paid off 7-8 years ago when I was actually living away at another state in college.

So you said my grocery shopping basically paid for me using water? That's it? Okaaaaaaay.

So WHAT exactly are the expenses that my folks incurred just because of me when I lived there?

Yeah, please tell me, because me and my folks saw this as SAVING money on both sides, but apparently you know more about my life and situation like you know everyone else's.

Oh and yes, I've had the pleasure of paying bills which was the reason when given the chance to move back in, I gratefully accepted. Have never regretted it since. I never let my pride influence smarter thinking and better living. Living now in my own condo that I saved up beats living inside a rental home that's for sure.[/QUOTE]

I actually got along quite well with my parents, even as a teen. We get along great now, and I visit them about once a month with my family, and they visit us about once a month, more often if there's a birthday or event.

The bolded text basically sums it up for me. You and I are wired very, very differently. You look at living off of your parents as a sweet deal (which let's face it, it is. You get to do what you want and have no personal financial burden because your parents who spent on you and raised you for decades cover it), I look at it as an embarrassment, a source of shame, and exploitation of my parents who I love and respect very much, unless there are specific conditions that made it a neccessity or matter of outright homelessness.

If I'm able-bodied and can work a shit job so I can pay rent on a crappy one bedroom and be self-sufficient, I would do that 100 times out of 100. Work ethic, pride, stubbornness. I want to earn what I get, not have it given to me.

I am stunned that so many employed adults also live(d) with their parents and thought of it as some sort of savings plan at the expense of their parents. I thought there would be a much larger group that spoke against that. Shift in societal norms perhaps.
 
I guess I am in the camp that says it all depends on the circumstances. My family is a screwed up part of it though. I'm 30 and my brother is 33 with a son and we are both still at home. His problem is not knowing how to handle money. He has always had a decent paying factory job, but could never do anything with it. Too much wasted on whatever useless waste of space he is dating. To top it off, he refuses to help around the house monetarily or working around the house.

As for me, college was not an option financially. When I got out of high school, I saw what a crappy job my brother and his wife at the time were doing raising their son(all three were living with my parents) and I couldn't take it. I told them to work and get their lives together and I would take care of my nephew. I had no clue what I was doing but I was not going to let my nephews future suffer due to their stupidity. My life isn't great, but I made the choice to forgo looking for work to ensure my nephew has a chance for a decent future.

Looking for a part time job when my nephew got older sucked. Try telling people that you are 27, no college, and no job history. I couldn't even get a cart collector/bag boy job at a grocery store. Eventually I got a job offered to me because I went and did the job when it wasn't mine because a buddy needed help.

At home I did all I could because I didn't want to be seen as a mooch. If I had money it went to the household. If my parents refused since I had so little and my brother didn't give anything, I saved. Whenever there is an emergency expense,like plumbing work, I have money for it. I also do the vast majority of the yard work and even make sure all my elderly neighbors get their property shoveled. Hell, I became the family baker just because it was another thing I could do to help.

To bring a long rambling post to an end, my brother still hasn't gotten his life together. I may have nothing and not very good prospects for a decent future, since I am thirty and as pathetic as I am(people tend not to respond very well when they hear no car, never had a full time job, and live at home), but I wouldn't do anything different. My nephew is in middle school now and doing well. He is on his way to having a better life than anyone in his family before him and that is all that matters to me. So yes, I may be the biggest loser here, but as long as my nothingness means the chance for a better life for my family, I'll take it any day.

I apologize if I rambled too long.
 
More power to ya if you can tolerate living with your folks at 30 and it doesn't hurt your pride, but I don't envy you.
 
[quote name='berzirk']I actually got along quite well with my parents, even as a teen. We get along great now, and I visit them about once a month with my family, and they visit us about once a month, more often if there's a birthday or event.

The bolded text basically sums it up for me. You and I are wired very, very differently. You look at living off of your parents as a sweet deal (which let's face it, it is. You get to do what you want and have no personal financial burden because your parents who spent on you and raised you for decades cover it), I look at it as an embarrassment, a source of shame, and exploitation of my parents who I love and respect very much, unless there are specific conditions that made it a neccessity or matter of outright homelessness.

If I'm able-bodied and can work a shit job so I can pay rent on a crappy one bedroom and be self-sufficient, I would do that 100 times out of 100. Work ethic, pride, stubbornness. I want to earn what I get, not have it given to me.

I am stunned that so many employed adults also live(d) with their parents and thought of it as some sort of savings plan at the expense of their parents. I thought there would be a much larger group that spoke against that. Shift in societal norms perhaps.[/QUOTE]

Why are you so fixated on the idea that there is only one "correct" or "right" or "beneficial" way of raising children, growing up, moving out, starting your own life, etc., aka your way?

You mostly seem concerned with telling other people that living at home past X age is shameful and abusive of their parents and whatnot, even in mutually beneficial situations, and putting yourself over time after time. Its an extreme narrowmindedness to other life philosophies and cultures. Yes, some people are clearly moochers and other people are getting some benefits while bestowing other benefits upon their parents. You just believe its next to impossible to allow the two consenting parties to value those exchanges at an equal 1 to 1 ratio. The child is always basically raping the parents in your eyes.

But congrats, you're a manly man 1940s pull yourself out of the gutter by your bootstraps kind of guy. And someone who lived at home for a couple of years after college until they got going in the direction they needed to go in life? Clearly that person can never have integrity, "proper" values, or understand the value of money and hard work. They've basically failed as human beings, utterly and completely.

I mean really, why wait until 18 to move out and be on your own? In most states you can quit school and become an emancipated minor around age 16, and you can certainly earn your minimum wage at the age too. Sounds like you were probably quite the leech to your parents for those two years you used and exploited them before you were 18. Whats your excuse for not stepping up to the plate earlier and moving into your shitty one bedroom apartment in a bad part of town at age 16? You could have finished up your GED at a later time, so its not like a high school diploma was holding you back. Its not like there is anything magical about the age of 18. 18 wasn't always the voting age, you can't drink at 18, you can already drive at 16 which is before 18, its not the age of consent for sex everywhere, and its not a hard line rule for other types of consent either.
 
[quote name='kodave'] I mean really, why wait until 18 to move out and be on your own? In most states you can quit school and become an emancipated minor around age 16, and you can certainly earn your minimum wage at the age too. Sounds like you were probably quite the leech to your parents for those two years you used and exploited them before you were 18. Whats your excuse for not stepping up to the plate earlier and moving into your shitty one bedroom apartment in a bad part of town at age 16? You could have finished up your GED at a later time, so its not like a high school diploma was holding you back. Its not like there is anything magical about the age of 18. 18 wasn't always the voting age, you can't drink at 18, you can already drive at 16 which is before 18, its not the age of consent for sex everywhere, and its not a hard line rule for other types of consent either.[/QUOTE]

If I had the means to be self-supportive and/or pay rent at 16, I would have. My dad made an agreement with me when I was in middle school that any money I put into a joint savings account, he would match. Any money I took out, he'd also match. Then when it was time for college, it was all mine. I didn't take a dime out until I started school. Those kind of lessons were invaluable and promoted responsible living. They also promoted education, which is why I got my HS diploma then went straight to college. If I had to do it over again, I would have spent a year working between HS and college so I better appreciated the college experience and was more ready to learn. 4 years and a term later, with working for most of my college life, I graduated, then 9/11 hit and finding a job was damn near impossible. Worked a host of crappy jobs, then got my career start, and have grown from there. I'm no model of success, but unless you let yourself fail or come close to failure, you don't know when you're sinking and need to change things.

I'm not saying everyone that lives with their parents is a bad person, but those who brag about great savings while they live rent/expense free, with a job, then move out to buy a house chap my ass. My guess is that they aren't parents, and haven't come to the realization that our parents made so many sacrifices in their lives for us, we can never truly pay them back, so to be at an age where we can be less dependent on our parents, then willfully choose to maintain dependence is terrible IMO.

Fine to agree or disagree, as I've made my opinion on it quite well known. Like you, I'm just sharing my opinion because I'm convinced it's more important than the rest of the Internet combined. :p
 
I'm the OP and am glad to see this thread generated so many responses.

Here's my timeline:

age 17
graduated high school

age 18
enrolled in junior college
lived in a college dormitory on campus away from home

age 20
graduated with an associates degree, flat broke because I used my life savings to pay for college

age 20-21
moved back with my mom and worked a full time job, saving every dime I earned
lived with my mom and worked full time-retail jobs for one complete year
did not consider myself a 'boomerang' as I had not yet completed my education

age 21, nearly 22
had enough in savings to go back to college
enrolled as a full-time university student
lived in a college dormitory on campus away from home

age 24
graduated with a bachelors degree from the university
went directly from undergrad college to grad school for a master's degree
lived in a college dormitory on campus away from home

age 25
graduated with a master's degree
entered a rough job market
moved back home
found a night job to pay my student debt while looking for a better job during the day
spent 4 months living with my mom during my job search
lived with her one more month after getting a job to plan my move

age 25
found a professional opening after 4 months of searching for a 'real' job
moved out of my Mom's place and got a place of my own

current age: 31
still living in a crappy one bedroom apartment
saving as much money as I can until I feel comfortable buying a house
economy still sucks, subsequently not yet comfortable enough to buy a house
giving nice cash Christmas gifts ($500 to $1000) every year to my mother

That's my timeline
I moved out at either 18 or 25 depending on your personal definition of moving out.
 
Catching up on this thread finally...and am not really surprised at the amount of rationalizing people are doing for living with their parents as grown adults.

I too figured a large amount of gamers live with mommy and daddy later in life so while it's not a surprise it really is sad. I think that is a parenting failure as much as a lack of respect on the part of the children. Barring emergencies, and brief stays at that, I think it is a terrible thing to do for yourself and to your parents.

You learn from mistakes and doing things on your own. Mom and dad will not always be there for you. Who else will you leech off once your parents pass? (god willing that day is far off for all of us)

Paying off a car or other toys is not a valid excuse. It's taking advantage of your parents. It's not living in the real world. People will get mad at us who criticize in this thread but it's the damn truth. Welcome to life, where you have to grow up and be responsible for yourself. Be a goddamn man.

Had I stayed living with parents until now (I am 30) I would never have met the girl who would become my wife and or had my 2 children. And I did this while living on my own, paying my way, and being super damn close with my parents the entire way. Think about how much life you are missing by not being in the real world. Want to start a family or meet miss right? Good luck living in your parents house. That's lame by any adult woman's standards even if they say otherwise. It's embarrassing to be a grown adult, out of school, and still living with your parents like the ten year old across the street.

I had it easy growing up, as my parents wanted me to have a better childhood than they had. We were poor most of the time and I didn't know it. However my mother at least instilled in me a degree of personal responsibility and respect and doing things for myself. She would take me and my family back into her house in a heartbeat, so it's nice to know the option is there (as it would be with any loving parents) but it would be a temporary last resort, and I would feel guilty the entire time. They have earned their freedom. They raised me and my brother and deserve rest...other than their grandkids anyway. :)

So I am harsh and maybe mean by some peoples standards but its the hard truth. Grab yourself by the bootstraps and grow up. Your parents are not going to be around to protect you forever.
 
I am 200STM, some of you may have read my blogs bout my situation. Well heres my take:

I am 22 right now it took 3 years for me to just get a basic job. This job is easy for me collect carts, carry outs and clean ups. I can handle this $8hr job I know I don't want to work in it forever but in this time I am happy to have a job and though it can be a bit unforgiving in schedule its a job and I'm pretty good at it. I need a year of college left for me to get my Associates Degree

I live with my aunt and uncle and my cousin, my aunt works a full time job and my uncle does too. My uncle has a 12 year old Son (ADHD and Very Immature for his Age its sad though because he was abused by his real mother when he was young), since they both work full time they appreciate me being there to babysit for them. I live with them for free in exchange they ask me to help clean the house like vacuuming, moping, washing dishes and windows. I also do yard work as well mow the lawn, pruning, weeding and taking care of plants.

I do want to be on my own but at the moment with my semester break I am just focusing on saving money, getting a car, getting my license, building credit and building stocks.

I have had the offer to be roomates with a female cousin and her boyfriend but I decline the offer because I personally dont really like the guy she is with and now it seems that her best friend is going to be living with them (I honestly would break a bottle if that lazy mofo gets a 3way with her and her friend).
 
[quote name='gossamer']To bring a long rambling post to an end, my brother still hasn't gotten his life together. I may have nothing and not very good prospects for a decent future, since I am thirty and as pathetic as I am(people tend not to respond very well when they hear no car, never had a full time job, and live at home), but I wouldn't do anything different.[/QUOTE]

You're still a young guy and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't sell yourself short, it isn't too late. If you have trouble finding work, try getting a seasonal job at a retail store to gain some experience with customer service and handling cash transactions and move on from there.
 
I moved back in with my mother when I was about 25. I had gotten my bachelor's, and spent a year working at a completely unrelated job in my own apartment about 100 miles away. I quickly realized I hated the job, so I moved back in with my mother -- it took about 5 months for me to find a good job, and 4 months later I moved into an apartment with my cousin. We've been here for over 4 years now.

I very much appreciate her letting me stay there, and I know I'm always welcome back if I need to -- but holy hell, I get along with her much better when we don't share a damn roof.
 
I think too many of you are full of crap. Maybe you had something to prove, didn't like it at home, or are stupid enough to accept poor housing and an inability to cover bills when you have a choice. If you have a job and can cover your personal bills plus contribute to the household then there's nothing wrong with that. The parents will appreciate the money more than some landlord. It's never that cut and dry saying it costs more for them or you're not doing enough. How can you know? Oh and tell me what happens when the gov't you leech off of has no money? The economy sucks for people of this age group. You can't act like jobs and homes are easy to come by. Yes a lot depends on your relationship with your parents. Some would move out before 18 if they could. Those who do are simply jealous of those who have good relationships. Putting on a 'tough act' is laughable. If you truly want a family of your own then a separate place is necessary. But not all of us care for that, I know I personally don't.
 
Some of us were just fortunate enough to not struggle for money. I worked through college and my parents had a college fund for us kids that was nearly enough to cover tuition, room and board anyway. Then I was on assistantship through grad school and with that and student loans I had no problems living on my own--besides I went to grad school 4 hours away from my parents anyway. And then went straight into my current job as a professor immediately after finishing my Ph D, and live 11 hours or so from my parents now.

So I've been very fortunate and have just never had any time where I needed to move back home for financial reasons.

I certainly wouldn't judge anyone who did. Shit happens, and not everyone is as fortunate. I agree to some extent with Berzirk that I don't really like the idea of people with decent jobs moving back in just for free rent so they can save up more money. But I wouldn't rant against it like he has because I really don't care what others do. That's between them and their parents and if both parties are happy with the arrangement, then more power to them.
 
[quote name='Kendro']You're still a young guy and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't sell yourself short, it isn't too late. If you have trouble finding work, try getting a seasonal job at a retail store to gain some experience with customer service and handling cash transactions and move on from there.[/QUOTE]

Thanks for the encouragement. I've applied at some retail places in the past, but with so many people with experience out of work, they seem to take priority. Plus right now, I have a decent job as a contract cleaner. It's only about twenty hours a week right now, but my bosses are always trying to expand the business. The funny thing is you always hear how bad and untrustworthy a lot of retail workers are(I've had Best Buy employees tell me people take a job there just to get an employee discount on a big ticket item and then they quit), and people that know me, know that I can be trusted with anything.
 
Had I stayed living with parents until now (I am 30) I would never have met the girl who would become my wife and or had my 2 children. And I did this while living on my own, paying my way, and being super damn close with my parents the entire way. Think about how much life you are missing by not being in the real world. Want to start a family or meet miss right? Good luck living in your parents house. That's lame by any adult woman's standards even if they say otherwise. It's embarrassing to be a grown adult, out of school, and still living with your parents like the ten year old across the street.
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Why wouldn't you have met your wife. Did living with your parents limit your ability to leave the house and have a life? Does living on your own suddenly open your eyes and the world becomes REAL SON? If so something is wrong with me, because I've yet to have that life changing experience that is supposed to take place after you move out.
You learn from mistakes and doing things on your own. Mom and dad will not always be there for you. Who else will you leech off once your parents pass? (god willing that day is far off for all of us)
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You also learn from doing things right. You don't have to experience failure to be able to obtain success. Why is living with your parents leeching as long as both parties are fine with it? If someone has the capability to support themselves and their children to any age it does not matter how long they live there.
Paying off a car or other toys is not a valid excuse. It's taking advantage of your parents. It's not living in the real world. People will get mad at us who criticize in this thread but it's the damn truth. Welcome to life, where you have to grow up and be responsible for yourself. Be a goddamn man.
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Why is it taking advantage of your parents? If they extend an opportunity for you to live at home, save your money and provide them company/help around the house it would be a financially wise move to stay at home. What is this "real world" concept that you keep referring to? Paying your own bills and having a job? Providing a roof over your head? Have you ever thought that you can either pay someone else to give you a roof over your head (and in your standards, making yourself completely lame if you rent and don't own it, because then you are just taking handouts from someone who does own it and is generous enough to rent it to you) or accept the offer to live under your parents roof until you are ready to move elsewhere.

It sucks that you decided to barely make it rather then living with your parents, but that was your choice. It was your arrogance and misguided views that influenced your decision to live like that. However, just because you decided to struggle rather than living at home doesn't mean everyone else has to be held your specific standard.
 
[quote name='perdition(troy']Why wouldn't you have met your wife. Did living with your parents limit your ability to leave the house and have a life? [/QUOTE]

I would think it would make dating harder though. Stigma of living at home would scare off some possible matches. Don't have your own place to take a date home to (guess that's moot if you're a no pre-martial sex person though) etc.

But again, to each their own. I don't understand why some are being so negative about it.

I'd never do it as I value my independence and love having my own place and have been fortunate enough to never have to move back home for financial reasons. But no reason to be judgmental of others who do it--again if both the person and the parents are happy, more power to them. As long as they aren't leaching and making their parents miserable, who cares?
 
[quote name='PR Mega X']Then you have the collective sympathy of CAG.[/QUOTE]

:rofl:

[quote name='perdition(troy']I for one love my in-laws. My wife has a great family, I wouldn't mind all that much, and would hope they wouldn't mind living in my unfinished basement in sleeping bags lol.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, I get along better with my in-laws than my wife does...and they are her own parents. They have thier own room, don't mind watching the kids at the last minute, buy thier own food and then some...Only thing is, they are nosey and like to offer thier advice on just about everything. It's been great!
 
[quote name='Number83']What if your in-laws live with you?[/QUOTE]

Clearly they're leaching off you and someone should have cut your in-laws umbilical cords a long time ago. Any time two separate family units come together to live under the same roof, its a scourge on society and diminishing the "manliness" of America.
 
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