Submit him to the worst gaming marathon ever, starting all the way back with E.T. on the Atari 2600. Then he could work his way up through classics like Superman 64, Pulse Racer, all of the Petz games, Super Rub-a-Dub, and multiple other selections from Hell's very own bargain bin. He would either die trying to complete all of these games or decide it's not worth it and just commit suicide. Either way, I win.