Corrupt a wish message board game

[quote name='Number83']^^^Granted, but as take your last bite you realize there isn'a cow in the area for 5,000 miles.

I wish that COBOL was the new .net![/QUOTE]

Granted, but since I have no idea what you're talking about, you're never allowed to speak ever again.

I wish I could play guitar better than anyone and be loved all over the world for my rockin' music, and that I live forever, without aging. That's it.
 
granted but its air guitar and you are loved all over the world only by other air guitar enthusiasts. You live forever but the world thinks your a joke and Star Jones lives with you and has the top bunk.

I wish I could be a one man show version of the wiggles and be hella rich.
 
[quote name='Sleepkyng']granted but everyone will know you as that guy who did the "wiggles" - kinda like dustin diamond.

i wish my brother would arrive at the damn train station already.[/QUOTE]

granted, but he arrives splattered across the front of the train.

i wish my cat would quit peeing on the laundry.
 
[quote name='LaraCroftsLeftBoob']granted, but he arrives splattered across the front of the train.

i wish my cat would quit peeing on the laundry.[/QUOTE]

granted, but that same night you wake up to your dad pissing on your mom on top of the laundry. Using your skills of inference, you realize that it wasn't your cat to begin with.

I wish the next poster nothing but good luck!
 
[quote name='munch']granted, but that same night you wake up to your dad pissing on your mom on top of the laundry. Using your skills of inference, you realize that it wasn't your cat to begin with.

I wish the next poster nothing but good luck![/quote]
Granted, but its only because I cut off your feet, cure them, and then put them on my key ring.

I wish TRU would have another 90% clearance that included all their games.
 
[quote name='Kayden']Granted, but its only because I cut off your feet, cure them, and then put them on my key ring.

I wish TRU would have another 90% clearance that included all their games.[/QUOTE]


granted, but the day before the clearance starts, the police discover you're a serial sheep rapist and put you in jail causing you to miss the entire sale.

i wish the granting of my previous wish hadn't caused me to mentally picture my dad peeing on my mom.
 
[quote name='LaraCroftsLeftBoob']granted, but the day before the clearance starts, the police discover you're a serial sheep rapist and put you in jail causing you to miss the entire sale.

i wish the granting of my previous wish hadn't caused me to mentally picture my dad peeing on my mom.[/quote]

Granted, but now their both pissing on you.

I wish sheep weren't so sexy. :cry:
 
[quote name='Kayden']Granted, but now their both pissing on you.

I wish sheep weren't so sexy. :cry:[/quote]Granted, but you still fuck them anyways.

I wish there were more than just the three of us in this topic.
 
[quote name='Genocidal']Granted, but you still fuck them anyways.

I wish there were more than just the three of us in this topic.[/QUOTE]


granted, but instead of more people coming in, kayden leaves to go "rendezvous" with another sheep.

i wish i had a raincoat to keep all this pee of me.


edit- he is offline now. hmmmm...........
 
[quote name='LaraCroftsLeftBoob']granted, but instead of more people coming in, kayden leaves to go "rendezvous" with another sheep.

i wish i had a raincoat to keep all this pee of me.


edit- he is offline now. hmmmm...........[/quote]

Granted, you now have a raincoat... made of razor wire. Unfortunately it rusts with the exposure to massive quantities of urine.

I wish LCLB was closer... I need to pee. :lol:
 
[quote name='Kayden']Granted, you now have a raincoat... made of razor wire. Unfortunately it rusts with the exposure to massive quantities of urine.

I wish LCLB was closer... I need to pee. :lol:[/QUOTE]



granted, but i bring a sheep with me. your ensuing erection makes you unable to pee.

i wish someone else would be the one getting peed on.
 
[quote name='LaraCroftsLeftBoob']granted, but i bring a sheep with me. your ensuing erection makes you unable to pee.

i wish someone else would be the one getting peed on.[/quote]Granted, now your mom is being peed on by your dad, on top of your laundry.

I wish I had an easy job that paid well.
 
[quote name='Genocidal']Granted, now your mom is being peed on by your dad, on top of your laundry.

I wish I had an easy job that paid well.[/QUOTE]

granted, your new job allows you to sit around all day. in a car. as a crash test dummy.

i wish this thread wasn't so addictive.
 
[quote name='LaraCroftsLeftBoob']granted, your new job allows you to sit around all day. in a car. as a crash test dummy.

i wish this thread wasn't so addictive.[/quote]

Granted, but you still wind up coming here because you're a loser with dickelse to do. :lol:

I wish I got to make a joke about Genocidal taking his mom's job on the corner when he said, "I wish I had an easy job that paid well." Can't be any easier than lay there and take it. :hot:
 
[quote name='Kayden']Granted, but you still wind up coming here because you're a loser with dickelse to do. :lol:

I wish I got to make a joke about Genocidal taking his mom's job on the corner when he said, "I wish I had an easy job that paid well." Can't be any easier than lay there and take it. :hot:[/QUOTE]


granted, but a typo in your post makes it seem thay you want his moms job on the corner. you are then ridiculed off the internet.

i wish my daughter would take a nap, because i could use one too.
 
[quote name='LaraCroftsLeftBoob']granted, but a typo in your post makes it seem thay you want his moms job on the corner. you are then ridiculed off the internet.

i wish my daughter would take a nap, because i could use one too.[/quote]

Granted- Your daughter is now sleeping with sublmnl. :lol:

I wish that joke was a joke. :hot:
 
[quote name='Kayden']Granted- Your daughter is now sleeping with sublmnl. :lol:

I wish that joke was a joke. :hot:[/quote]
Granted, because they're not exactly getting much, "Sleep." ;)

I wish politicians weren't so corrupt.
 
[quote name='GuyWithGun']Granted, because they're not exactly getting much, "Sleep." ;)

I wish politicians weren't so corrupt.[/quote]

Granted, although its only because they made corruption legal.

I wish I had something yummy to eat...
 
[quote name='Kayden']Granted, although its only because they made corruption legal.

I wish I had something yummy to eat...[/QUOTE]

Granted, it's a giant triple fudge brownie that fell from the sky...

Onto your head. You died by chocolatey goodness. Frosting to frosting, crumbs to crumbs. Amen

I wish that I could intimidate the hell out of people, and make them piss their pants in fear, by giving long, wordy, ridiculously bullet-proof speeches, a la Dr. Cox from Scrubs. Or to put it in other terms, I want to be argument proof, I win every argument, I'm always right, that's it, end of story.

Oh, and I wish Hugh Jackman were dead.
 
[quote name='DJ K8E']Granted, it's a giant triple fudge brownie that fell from the sky...

Onto your head. You died by chocolatey goodness. Frosting to frosting, crumbs to crumbs. Amen

I wish that I could intimidate the hell out of people, and make them piss their pants in fear, by giving long, wordy, ridiculously bullet-proof speeches, a la Dr. Cox from Scrubs. Or to put it in other terms, I want to be argument proof, I win every argument, I'm always right, that's it, end of story.

Oh, and I wish Hugh Jackman were dead.[/quote]

Granted, but now you look like Janet Reno. Someone stabs Hugh Jackman, but it turns out he's not really acting to be Wolverine and just regenerates. :booty:

I wish I could take a nap at work.
 
[quote name='Kayden']Granted, but now you look like Janet Reno. Someone stabs Hugh Jackman, but it turns out he's not really acting to be Wolverine and just regenerates. :booty:

I wish I could take a nap at work.[/QUOTE]

Granted. However, you always awaken with unstoppable morning wood. And the boss just demanded you enter his office. On the double.

I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller,
I wish I had a girl who looked good
I would call her
I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a six four Impala

I wish I was like six-foot-nine
So I can get with Leoshi
Cause she don't know me but yo she's really fine
You know I see her all the time
Everywhere I go, and even in my dreams
I can scheme a way to make her mine
Cause I know she's livin phat
Her boyfriend's tall and he plays ball
So how am I gonna compete with that
'Cause when it comes to playing basketball
I'm always last to be picked
And in some cases never picked at all
So I just lean up on the wall
Or sit up in the bleachers with the rest of the girls
Who came to watch their men ball
Dag y'all! I never understood, black
Why the jocks get the fly girls
And me I get the hood rats
I tell 'em scat, skittle, scabobble
Got hit with a bottle
And I been in the hospital
For talkin' that mess
I confess it's a shame when you livin' in a city
That's the size of a box and nobody knows yo' name
Glad I came to my senses
Like quick-quick got sick-sick to my stomach
Overcommeth by the thoughts of me and her together
Right?
So when I asked her out she said I wasn't her type

I wish I had a brand-new car
So far, I got this hatchback
And everywhere I go, yo I gets laughed at
And when I'm in my car I'm laid back
I got an 8-track and a spare tire in the backseat
But that's flat
And do you really wanna know what's really whack
See I can't even get a date
So, what do you think of that?
I heard that prom night is a bomb night
With the hood rats you can hold tight
But really tho' I 'm a figaro
When I'm in my car I can't even get a hello
Well so many people wanna cruise Crenshaw on Sunday
Well then I'ma have to get in my car and go
You know I take the 110 until the 105
Get off at Crenshaw tell my homies look alive
Cause it's hard to survive when your livin'
In a concrete jungle and
These girls just keep passin' me by
She looks fly, she looks fly
Makes me say my, my, my

Hey, I wish I had my way
'Cause everyday would be a Friday
You could even speed on the highway
I would play ghetto games
Name my kids ghetto names
Little Mookie, big Al, Lorraine
Yo you know that's on the real
So if you're down on your luck
Then you should notice how I feel
Cause if you don't want me around
See I go simple, I go easy, I go greyhound
Hey, you , what's that sound?
Everybody look what's going down
Ahhhh, yes, ain't that fresh?
Everybody wants to get down like dat

I wish, I wish, I wish...
 
[quote name='Eviltude']Granted, but you also become black. :roll:

I wish I can find something to do shortly.[/quote]Granted! Unforunately, that "something" is bathing in tapioca pudding.

I wish I could feel the rhythm.
 
[quote name='Moxio']Sure, but it's the ryhthm of old BritSpears songs.

I wish I had a Dr. Pooper[/quote]Granted! Except I have no idea what a Dr. Pooper is, and don't really want to, so you just end up getting a Dr. Pepper enema.

I wish I had teh 1337 ninja skillz.
 
[quote name='Hoffgod']Granted! Except I have no idea what a Dr. Pooper is, and don't really want to, so you just end up getting a Dr. Pepper enema.

I wish I had teh 1337 ninja skillz.[/QUOTE]

Granted but your 1337 ninja skillz can only be use to protect those from the gamefaqs forum (poor guy).

I wish I was back in Vermont.
 
[quote name='Critte']Granted but your 1337 ninja skillz can only be use to protect those from the gamefaqs forum (poor guy).

I wish I was back in Vermont.[/QUOTE]
Granted, but I misheard you and thought you said the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

I wish someone would actually look at my tradelist, because there's some good stuff on there.
 
Granted, but now I'm not the only one who end up in the middle of the atlantic ocean.

I wish I wasn't stuck in the middle of the atlantic ocean.
 
[quote name='Yusuke-Urameshi-']Granted, but now your TV service is down. Forever.

I wish I knew what I wanted to wish for[/QUOTE]
Granted, but it's for eternal passionate sex with Joan Rivers

I wish they still made good episodes of The Simpsons
 
[quote name='I AM WILLIAM H. MACY']Granted, but it's for eternal passionate sex with Joan Rivers

I wish they still made good episodes of The Simpsons[/QUOTE]

granted, but all character voices are now done by gilbert godfreid.

i wish jessica alba would pleasure me with her mouth daily.
 
[quote name='LaraCroftsLeftBoob']granted, but all character voices are now done by gilbert godfreid.

i wish jessica alba would pleasure me with her mouth daily.[/quote]
Granted, but it's really I AM WILLIAM H. MACY in a Jessica Alba costume.

I wish that there was a CAG'er named LaraCroftsRightBoob
 
[quote name='Yusuke-Urameshi-']Granted, but it's really I AM WILLIAM H. MACY in a Jessica Alba costume.

I wish that there was a CAG'er named LaraCroftsRightBoob[/quote]

Granted, but he punches you in the balls.

I wish I could go to bed.
 
[quote name='Kayden']Granted, but he punches you in the balls.

I wish I could go to bed.[/QUOTE]

Granted, but Rip Taylor is in there waiting for you. And he's horny.

I wish I didn't have to go to work today.
 
[quote name='munch']Granted, but Rip Taylor is in there waiting for you. And he's horny.

I wish I didn't have to go to work today.[/QUOTE]
Granted, but you have to perform oral sex on a horse

I wish I could fly
 
[quote name='I AM WILLIAM H. MACY']Granted, but you have to perform oral sex on a horse

I wish I could fly[/QUOTE]

Granted, but you fly so fast that you break the light speed barrier, become infintely dense, and completely fuck up the tim-space continuum (sp?).

I wish my sperm did little dances after I came.
 
[quote name='evanft']Granted, but you fly so fast that you break the light speed barrier, become infintely dense, and completely fuck up the tim-space continuum (sp?).

I wish my sperm did little dances after I came.[/quote]Granted, they do the cha-cha right into your mouth.

I wish I was better at bowling.
 
[quote name='Genocidal']Granted, they do the cha-cha right into your mouth.

I wish I was better at bowling.[/quote]
bowl
v.
To move quickly and smoothly
Granted, however you move at billions of miles per second and cannot stop so that you are quickly sucked into a black hole, stretched immensely, crushing your entire body, yet living on forever to bear this grievous pain.

I wish I wasn't wanking it to 300lb women taking shaft from a horse while crapping on some midget's face when my mom busted in to ask what kind of Jell-O I like.
 
[quote name='Yusuke-Urameshi-']bowl
v.
To move quickly and smoothly
Granted, however you move at billions of miles per second and cannot stop so that you are quickly sucked into a black hole, stretched immensely, crushing your entire body, yet living on forever to bear this grievous pain.

I wish I wasn't wanking it to 300lb women taking shaft from a horse while crapping on some midget's face when my mom busted in to ask what kind of Jell-O I like.[/QUOTE]


granted, but your mom walks in while you're wanking it to 300lb women taking shaft from a horse while crapping on some midget's face to ask you what kind of ice cream you want.

i wish i had a beer.
 
[quote name='LaraCroftsLeftBoob']granted, but your mom walks in while you're wanking it to 300lb women taking shaft from a horse while crapping on some midget's face to ask you what kind of ice cream you want.

i wish i had a beer.[/QUOTE]

Granted, but it's Budweiser.

I wish I didn't have a class in ten minutes.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Granted, but it's Budweiser.

I wish I didn't have a class in ten minutes.[/quote]
Granted, but now you're a dropout and are completely broke and Penny-Less just as a bundle of the Wii, 360, PS3, PS2, Xbox, Gamecube, and Jessica Alba is being sold for a penny.

I wish I had a million bucks!
 
[quote name='Yusuke-Urameshi-']Granted, but now you're a dropout and are completely broke and Penny-Less just as a bundle of the Wii, 360, PS3, PS2, Xbox, Gamecube, and Jessica Alba is being sold for a penny.

I wish I had a million bucks![/quote]
Granted, but it's Monopoly money.

I wish I could beat everyone at every videogame ever made, by a mile. I'm talking about me getting killed not once in hour long deathmatches. :drool:
 
[quote name='DJ K8E']Granted, but it's Monopoly money.

I wish I could beat everyone at every videogame ever made, by a mile. I'm talking about me getting killed not once in hour long deathmatches. :drool:[/quote]
Granted, you will not die once in a death match. You will die as soon as you spawn.

I wish I had some Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
 
Granted, you'll become friend for a short time with a guy name Reese. He'll give you the peanut butter cups after one of his drag night by putting peanut butter in the cups of the bra he just used.

I wish my brother wasn't a idoit most of the time.
 
[quote name='Critte']Granted, you'll become friend for a short time with a guy name Reese. He'll give you the peanut butter cups after one of his drag night by putting peanut butter in the cups of the bra he just used.

I wish my brother wasn't a idoit most of the time.[/QUOTE]

Granted. Your brother is a genius and invents the machine that solves all of the worlds problems. No more hunger or suffering for the entire planet. Then, he negotiates an end to all of the major wars going on and everyone becomes happy. He then forms a rock group called 'Wyld Stallions.' As a result you become extremely jealous. Your parents constanly ask you why you couldn't be more like your brother. You resent him. Every waking hour you think about how you could be him. You want his intellect, his charisma, his wife (of course he's married Charlize Theron). You no longer sleep, just stare at a mirror thinking about what you could have been. You finally decide to kill yourself. You take out a knife and begin slashing. As you lay there taking your last breath you concentrate on the pain and how everything will be ok now. But then, your brother saves you and becomes an even bigger hero. You're in an institution, he's doing Ms. Theron, and it's all because of you're one wish.

I wish my dog would stop licking my testicles.
 
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