Thanks everyone for the input. It's not as cut and dry as you guys think. Money is a huge issue, so finding a lawyer either of us could afford is not proving to be an easy task. As far as custody/child support, we both just want to work out something civil. Even though she completely screwed me over, she is still a great person. She's a great mother. Honestly, I think she needs mental help.
As far as making it through this whole thing, I've done it twice before (minus the kid and marriage), cheated on both times prior. One was only a year-long relationship, the other was a five-year relationship.
Anyways, she's having this ass-wipe come into town this weekend, despite her dad telling this guy to stay away from all of us. I told her that I refuse to meet this joker, and Rachael won't be meeting him either. She told me that she will not sleep with him at this point (I think because he lied about the STD-thing), not that it really matters to me. They're both aware that he's not staying in, or even coming to MY house, and she's agreed to that.
That being said, I made it perfectly clear that I'm not going to be the one to catch her if this guy turns out to be a mistake. I offered a familiar shoulder to cry on, but that is all. It may sound sadistic, but I hope he treats her like shit, if only to be able to say "You were wrong."
I know, I'm being too nice about things, but as I said, this whole thing is much more complicated than it appears.
Also, his wife is having a really rough time, that's why I'm there for her. I have no intentions of seducing or sleeping with her, either out of revenge or something more. I'm a comforter at heart, and it hurts me to know that someone else is suffering the same fate as me, for the same reasons. It also makes me feel better knowing that I have someone there for me as well. She also eases my feeling of loneliness. It's just easier to talk about things with her, as she knows what I'm talking about.
By talking to her, I didn't become involved in this mess. I was already deeply involved, while she was clueless because her husband didn't have the balls to tell her the truth. I believe that had I not contacted her, she still wouldn't know what's going on; she'd still be waiting for her husband to come to her.
I am getting away from this marriage, but it's going to take some time. For the time being, I'm still living here. A friend of mine just bought a house, but won't be moving in for another month. He said the place is so big that they're offering me a part of it to me for as long as I need. I don't like taking hand-outs, but it's the only real option at this point.
Now to write a nice email to her family, explaining the whole situation.
Thanks again, everyone