Surprisingly the Last Movie You Saw Didn't Suck

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[quote name='homeland']so the first one is Fast and THE furious ...and the new sequel is Fast and Furious. That has to be the worst sequel progression name.[/QUOTE]
First one is "The Fast and The Furious".
 
Watched Blade Runner for the first time this afternoon. Sad to say I just couldn't really get into it. I went into it expecting to love it as the movie is right up my alley and most people who like the same types of movies of me really liked it. There were some great scenes and situations, but overall I was a bit bored with it.
 
Been on quite a movie kick lately. In order...

Apocalypse Now: Kinda disappointing. Not bad by any means, but... well, I don't think I quite got it. I think part of the problem is that it's so ingrained in popular culture by now that I was already familiar with a lot of scenes, especially the Wagner bit. Aw well.

Next up I went with John Carpenter's Apocalypse Trilogy. First, The Thing.

We all know how this one goes. This one suffered from the same problem that Apocalypse Now did, with the added disadvantage that it was heavily reliant on special effects - something that rarely ages well. But even though I knew how it ended, it was still pretty alright. Scariest/creepiest part:
the doctor's autopsy on the partially digested/assimilated dogs. I kept waiting for it to wake up.

Then we moved on to Prince of Darkness. The devil is trying to break free of his prison deep inside an abandoned church and it's up to Science! to stop him. Much lighter on special effects, and significant scarier for it, but the characters were far lamer. Your big romantic pair was in twue wuv about twelve hours after they met by my approximation (which, incidentally, is how long it took them to jump into bed together) - don't think I wasn't cheering when
what's-her-name got trapped with Satan and Satan Sr. behind the mirror
. A lot of people have complained that it's just too complicated, but really I didn't have any trouble with it. Now, Killer7? fucking complicated. This? Not so much. Scariest/creepiest moment:
the final dream message. I found that those were quite under-utilized throughout the film, but the final appearance of them was god damn awesome.

Finally, In the Mouth of Madness. A PI is sent to investigate the disappearance of the author of the titular Lovecraftian horror. Easily the scariest of the trilogy, though again, less was generally more. One insane and disfigured freak? Scary. A mob of them? Ho-hum. A tentacle in the dark? Scary. A horde of monsters? Just guys in rubber suits. Also, I still do not know if the woman playing Linda was being intentionally flat or what. I'm sure that the ending has been done before, but half an hour after the film ended, I realized its brilliance.
In the film, anyone who reads the book is driven totally batshit insane. When the protagonist points out that this will only reach a limited audience, Charlton Heston notes that a movie is already in the works. "So what," think you, "when shit starts going crazy, nobody is going to have time to watch a dumb movie. That's not really that big of a threat. Nobody will see it!" By the end of the film, the main character walks into a movie theatre and begins watching it - and it's the exact same thing as the movie that we just saw. The movie that we thought nobody would be dumb enough to see was the one that we just saw.

I have come to two conclusions from watching these movies. First, people should spend less time sloooooooowly turning their heads to investigate odd noises and more time running their fucking asses off. Would have saved a lot of lives. Second, I want a self destruct mechanism. Because if I'm about to get tentacle raped by an alien or I'm starving to death chained to the ankle of the racist old woman from Blazing Saddles (seriously, it's hard not to see the woman and think about her in either that or Seinfeld), I want to be able to just end things quickly and painlessly. And if anyone in The Thing had done that, the movie would have ended a helluva lot sooner.

More recent movies coming later. This is probably tl;dr enough as it is.

[quote name='homeland']so the first one is Fast and THE furious ...and the new sequel is Fast and Furious. That has to be the worst sequel progression name.[/quote]
Driv3r.
 
Lord of the Rings (no clue, first one? first disc thank god) - 4/10

My best friend's wife is absolutely nuts for Lord of the rings and so I had to watch the first one. She thought she could get me to like it, but what I wanted to do was gouge my eyes and ears out. My best friend mean while decided to passout.

I pretty much knew what was coming up at each point. wandering... pick up people... wander more... repeat...
 
Dead Snow. Its fuckin awesome! Check it out! IMHO the most ditrubing scene of the movie is
when the fat dude takes a shit in the outhouse and a hot chick sucks his finger he used himself 2 wipe.
 
My Name is Bruce - Pretty disappointing. Watching Bruce Campbell act like an asshole is pretty good, and there are several acting moments that hearken back to Evil Dead (if a little too blatantly), but there's way too much unbearably bad humor, and the bad guy is overly random and uninteresting. On the bad humor front, I'm talking a random fart noise, cartoony sound effects when Bruce cops a feel, and a gay redneck saying "I wish I could could quit you" to his partner. There's also a bit of unfunny Asian stereotyping/racism that hits on a buck-tooth "Me so sally" vibe, without the irony.

Knowing - I liked it a surprising amount. It's got a good, ominous atmosphere throughout, and I really enjoyed the ballsy ending. The special effects are stylized but serviceable (re: phony but interesting). Some of you were complaining earlier about the "M Night Shyamalan ending," but I don't think that's a valid complaint. The ending is absurd, but I don't see why you would consider it needlessly tacked on or even a twist at all. The entire movie is basically a
building compilation of evidence to prove the unbelievable to John
*, so by the time of the big reveal it was the only answer.

More on the ending:
Once again, sure it's ridiculous. But I really appreciate it when a movie embraces its themes and goes for broke with them. So, Earth burned to a cinder and Adam and Eve running towards the Tree of Life after getting dropped off by alien-angels from their spaceship-ark? I approve. Others will will say the movie went broke right there, or 15 minutes beforehand, and I see their point.

*
Maybe? You know, as I write this, I'm not entirely sure I know what the point of the movie was. Towards the end, John expresses his understanding to Caleb that the beings wouldn't take Caleb from him, so I was under the impression that the events of the film (or at least, the predictions of the events) were manipulated to convince John to give up Caleb by proving destiny. But the beings stole Diana's car with the kids in it, which directly led to Diana's death, which they surely knew would happen. Was her permission not required? It's clear from the movie that she was never going to give up her daughter willingly. It seems that the children had to decide to go with the beings, but they were kept oblivious to the conceits of the movie by the parents, and they seemed reasonably placated by just the whispering.

At any rate, I still say everything in the movie clearly led up to the conclusion, whether or not it was necessary.
 
And now, further adventures of movies that I've seen recently.

Grindhouse: All around disappointing. Deathproof was slower than piss - look, I don't require things to be all action all the time, but there was a lot of fat that could have been trimmed on that one - and Planet Terror... well, I just hated Ray. Dumbass character. Also, Cherry's amputation should have been below the knee so that she wasn't so god damn clumsy all the time.

Advent Children: It is popular to hate on FFVII these days, but I'm still a fan. I am not, however, a fan of this movie. The dialogue seemed like it was just a bunch of random text slapped together (Cloud: "I'm going to see Rufus." Tifa: "Stop running away!" Meta-Cloud: "What the fuck are you yelling at me for? I'm not running away - I'm fucking going to see Rufus! Jesus! Is that your only fucking line, lady?") and the fighting - a good 80% of the film - was just a fucking flynn festival. Whole buncha swinging swords around and shooting bullets and not hitting a motherfucking thing. You know what was great in FFVII? You're going along, and all of a sudden some motherfucker falls out of the sky and impales one of your party members on his sword. None of that here. Advent Children was just... safe. Nobody's ever allowed to get hurt. Nobody's ever allowed to actually do anything. Waste of time, the whole damn thing.

Also, the pronunciation of Tifa's name bugs the shit out of me, but I guess I gotta accept that.
 
Truth in 24 - 10/10

Great stuff, I don't like Audi much too but still. I have respect for the 24 LeMans and anyone that can win it definitely deserves it.
 
[quote name='sml_mndz']
Dead Snow. Its fuckin awesome! Check it out! IMHO the most ditrubing scene of the movie is
when the fat dude takes a shit in the outhouse and a hot chick sucks his finger he used himself 2 wipe.
[/quote]

Yeh, that sounds so awesome lol :roll:

[quote name='Mr Unoriginal']Watched Blade Runner for the first time this afternoon. Sad to say I just couldn't really get into it. I went into it expecting to love it as the movie is right up my alley and most people who like the same types of movies of me really liked it. There were some great scenes and situations, but overall I was a bit bored with it.[/quote]

I watched it a few weeks back for the first time and i thought exactly the same. Just couldnt get into it and was thinking what all the hooplar was about. Yeh granted it still looks pretty good to todays standards...but thats about it.
 
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind.

This is the third Miyazaki movie I have seen; the other two being Princess Mononoke and Spirited Away. I absolutely loved this movie; I put it at the top with Spirited Away as one of the best movies I have ever seen. Every aspect of the movie was amazing; plus it has themes that hold true today even though the movie is 25 years old; there are themes such as human's horrible nature and how they inflict violence upon each other as well the environment and its inhabitants.
 
[quote name='The Crotch']
You know what was great in FFVII? You're going along, and all of a sudden some motherfucker falls out of the sky and impales one of your party members on his sword. None of that here. Advent Children was just... safe. Nobody's ever allowed to get hurt. Nobody's ever allowed to actually do anything. Waste of time, the whole damn thing.[/quote]

:applause: That movie was just a way to squeeze a little bit more blood out of FFVII fans. You have to admit it, though, most of these fans, myself included, would jump at a chance to buy a next-gen or portable remake.


Stranded (Spain, 2002) - Predictable with a made for TV feel but I couldn't turn away until the very end.
 
[quote name='The Crotch']Grindhouse: All around disappointing. Deathproof was slower than piss - look, I don't require things to be all action all the time, but there was a lot of fat that could have been trimmed on that one - and Planet Terror... well, I just hated Ray. Dumbass character. Also, Cherry's amputation should have been below the knee so that she wasn't so god damn clumsy all the time.[/QUOTE]
"Grindhouse".
 
[quote name='The Crotch']I say sumfin' funny?[/quote]

I think he's making light of the fact that you're over-analyzing a movie called "Grindhouse". It was made to be a bad B-movie.
 
Tarantino's film, Death Proof, is unique, in that it's a straight-forward grindhouse film executed very well.

Sure, Planet Terror was fun (and well done), but it took its liberties with what the old grindhouse archetype entails -- if the assignment was "Make a grindhouse film", then Tarantino received an A+. (Planet Terror is like some sort of psycho-grindhouse, I'd call it.)

Tarantino took the long, drawn-out - and often worthless - dialogue filler notorious in grindhouse movies, and turned it on its ear a little. He made them well-written, and had them contrast the over-the-top action quite nicely. (Not to mention, as a whole feature, Death Proof contrasts Planet Terror nicely.)

When I walked away from Death Proof, I was very pleased with the pacing, but I was aware that it would leave most of the audience left in the dust.

The film's two acts, where most of the cast died in the first, ushering in a new cast in the second, with only one consistent character, is [ insert thumbs up here ].

Tarantino took a garbage genre, and made it good. He did the same for the kung-fu and spaghette western genres with Kill Bill.

And if they amputated Cherry's leg at the knee, she'd still walk funny. You see, there are no assault rifles manufactured at the length of an adult female's shin. #-o
 
[quote name='Brak']
The film's two acts, where most of the cast died in the first, ushering in a new cast in the second, with only one consistent character, is [ insert thumbs up here ].[/quote]Okay, I'll give ya that one.

[quote name='Brak']And if they amputated Cherry's leg at the knee, she'd still walk funny. You see, there are no assault rifles manufactured at the length of an adult female's shin. #-o[/quote]There are also no assault rifles that function while pulling double duty as peg-legs.

That I know of.
 
[quote name='hiccupleftovers']Pom Poko - fucking awesome!!! This is now my favorite Studio Ghibli film. I loved it. Something great out of my anime class.[/QUOTE]



totally agree. excellent movie we watched it with the kids and were like uh i hope they dont know what a pelt is. Thankfully they didn't ask. = O
 
[quote name='The Crotch']There are also no assault rifles that function while pulling double duty as peg-legs.

That I know of.[/QUOTE]
In that reality, a miniature assault rifle would have been... really, really unrealistic.

Her power-hobble, near the end of the film, was some good humor, anyway.
 
[quote name='whoknows']The Matrix- I bought the 10th Anniversary Blu-Ray.

I love this movie. It being 10 years old though makes me feel old.[/quote]

wow it's 10 years old? holy crap.........i feel old now, too. that was like THE movie when i was in high school
 
[quote name='whoknows']The Matrix- I bought the 10th Anniversary Blu-Ray.

I love this movie. It being 10 years old though makes me feel old.[/quote]

Wow, shit this is now depressing. I hadn't realized it was 10 years old:cry:
 
[quote name='chimpster1313']that was like THE movie when i was in high school[/quote]

High School? lol, wow... I'm not that old. But yeah still... wow.
 
[quote name='VipFREAK']High School? lol, wow... I'm not that old. But yeah still... wow.[/quote]

Yeah, I was already out of High School when it came out. Now I really feel old, even though I'm only pushing 30. :whistle2:#
 
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

Yes, it's May 1st and I totally just went to the theater to see this. Anyways, I'm not a big superhero movie fan, and especially not Marvel's films. But despite the negative reaction from people who have seen the version of this film that's available, I actually kind of liked it. Just a simple story of revenge, without subplots involving 10 other characters. It was a lot better than the last (if not ALL) X-Men and Spider-Man movies, and while most superhero movie fans won't agree with me, it was a LOT better than last year's Iron Man. I thought Liev Schreiber was great as Victor Creed/Sabretooth, but there seriously wasn't enough Ryan Reynolds as Wade Wilson/Deadpool.
 
Bedtime Stories

Not as good as Click but I dug it. Good kid's film that though tackles morals (if you believe in something, happy endings do happen in real life) that usually trots out in them, they get it to work in this one.



Special
Awesome film. Forgot the side-kick roles that Michael Rapaport that he takes in the bigger films, he bread and butter lies in the low budget quirky comedies. It reminded me quite a bit of his The Naked Man but instead of wrestling, it tackles comic books. Cool little story about a mundane comicbook nerd who takes pills only to get special powers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vo18EMnTY6o
 
Bedtime Story - Rather disappointing. Its a disney movie, but really there wasn't anything there for an adult.


Ghost Town - For a straight to Dvd movie it was entertaining. Nothing amazing but its got Ricky Gervais and Tea Leoni, which worked out well.
 
[quote name='homeland']Ghost Town - For a straight to Dvd movie it was entertaining. Nothing amazing but its got Ricky Gervais and Tea Leoni, which worked out well.[/QUOTE]
It was theatrically released... I saw it at the Raleigh Grande!

And I was the only one.
 
[quote name='CokeCola']It was theatrically released... I saw it at the Raleigh Grande!

And I was the only one.[/quote]

no shit! my bad. Didn't remember seeing any trailers for this on tv, so just assumed it never came out. Maybe just a limited release?

Anyhow, I still haven't been to the movies since I moved down here, the Grande a nice place?
 
The Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations. Yes, I think this was a good movie. Their I said it. I'm not really sure if it should be in with the Eight Films to Die For but it would have never worked in theaters out side of them. Hell I'm sure it didn't do well in theaters at all even in them. I know I would have never bought it seeing how I have yet to see 2 and only saw 1 because nothing else was on tv. I suggest if you like thies types of movies you atleast check it out. It is a lot better then the first one and I'm sure the second was crap.
 
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