Sting - He came after me with the martial arts and flying attacks.
Tenay - Welcome to the new-look IMPACT WRESTLING ZONE!
Taz - New bright-blue color.
Taz - He runs this place -the Hulkster.
Eric - Once a bully, always a bully. Do you like what we’ve done with the joint!? Mick took credit, BUT WE ALL KNOW HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING. If he did, it would be THUMBTACKS MATTER - when did he wake up and think he was Frank Gotch!? Hogan is in NY having meetings with Foley and execs, and when he’s done with Foley in NY, he’ll REALLY be done with Foley in NY. Since they aren’t here, ERIC BISCHOFF, FLAIR, AND IMMORTAL ARE IN CHARGE. THIS IS OUR SHOW AND WE’RE GONNA TAKE CARE OF SOME BIDNESS TONIGHT! (X geeks come out)
Kendrick - YOU’RE ACCUSING WRESTLERS OF GETTING IN YOUR WAY ON A WRESTLING SHOW. COMING FROM A NON-WRESTLER - THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS TO ME AND WHAT I SEE IS A LEECH WHO HAS PARASITED HIS WAY THROUGH THIS BUSINESS SINCE I WAS A CHILD!
Bully - NOBODY LIKES ANY OF YA, THE X DIVISION SUCKS!
Kendrick - COME ON, FAT BOY. LET’S GET SPICY BABY!
Eric - I’m glad you came out because it’s your right do it, just like it’s my right to create history - I’m going to wipe out the X division once and for all! I’M SICK OF IT AND DONE WITH IT! And lemme tell ya - we’ll start out yer buddy Kaz, X division right - it’s not about weight limits? I LOVE THAT BECAUSE TONIGHT, THERE’S NO LIMITS, CUZ KAZ IS GONNA BE THERE WITH A MONSTER!
Kendrick - SO FAR SO GOOD!
Eric - I got one! How about mildly moderate Red here… OOOOOH. MIDLY MODERATE RED, GIVE THAT FINGER TO JOE! LET’S SEE WHAT YOU’VE GOT, TOUGH GUY! And Gen Me, I haven’t forgotten about you guys - you guys’ dream is gonna come true. You’ll face one of your idols - MATT HARDY, and he’s gonna teach you how to fly. But he won’t be flying solo cuz tonight, if you want something done right, do it yourself - I’M GONNA BREAK OUT THE GI AND I’M GONNA KICK ME SOME VANILLA MIDGET ASS!
Kendrick - What about me? GOT ANYTHING FOR ME! HOW ‘BOUT HIM! OR HIM!
Eric - I forgot you were standing there, I got something for you… (slaps him)
Flair - COME ON! YOU DON’T REALLY WANT MORE!?
Taz - Wrestling matters, all right.
Flair - ROODE, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU BOY. WHEN I CALL YOU OUT, GET YER ASS OUT! WHEN I CALL, YOU MARCH! GOD’S CALLING YOU! KISS MY ASS, FAT BOY!
Tenay - Get him a chair.
Taz - What, do I work for the chair company?
Anarchia - Hola Mr. Taz.
Taz - It wouldn’t be bad to have Miss Tessmacher in Mexican American - she might not be Mexican BUT SHE’S HOT AS HELL!
Taz - I don’t know if Earl Hebner speaks Spanish, although he might’ve been around when they invented the language.
Taz - I agree with Bischoff - why are the X division athletes getting in Bischoff’s grill!?
Tenay - THE X DIVISION HAS BEEN A CORNERSTONE OF THIS COMPANY FOR NINE YEARS!
Taz - Abyss is a super-heavyweight, and super-grotesque.
Tenay - THE X DIVISION MADE THIS A STANDOUT WRESTLING PROMOTION!
(after Abyss wins X belt)Taz - THE INTERNET IS BURNING UP NOW!
AJ - Dreamer, WE NEED TO TALK, SO GET OUT HERE!
Taz - Dreamer didn’t return my calls or texts.
AJ - So the doctor says I’ll be in this brace for 2 weeks cuz Tommy Dreamer gave me a piledriver through a table. Maybe that’s my fault - maybe I came back too early and I’m a stupid redneck who’s tired of sitting on the sidelines. I’M A PRO WRESTLIER, THAT’S WHAT I DO. WE KILLED OURSELVES, FOR WHAT!? TOMMY!? For what! I GOT A GLIMPSE OF THE BIGGER PICTURE. IT INVOLVES BULLY RAY, IMMORTAL, AND HULK HOGAN! I know now that if you weren’t at there beck and call and you didn’t do what they said, your contract would cease to exist, so I don’t hold you responsible for Sacrifice. Truth be told, had I been in your position, I’d have done the same thing. And on such a historical night, I know that wrestling matters to you, and you know that wrestling matters to me.
Dreamer - Are you saying I couldn’t beat you if you didn’t have a hurt neck already? ARE YOU SAYING YOU CAN WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES FOR ALL THAT I’VE DONE FOR THIS BUSINESS!? ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME!? Ya see, AJ, I’ve built a wrestling company - I didn’t have my hand held through it. I’VE WRESTLED HURT! AND DIDN’T GET PAID TO DO IT! And you are right - wrestling matters so much to me. Wrestling matters so much to you, tonight is a night that will go down in infamy - because when I piledrove you the first time, I did it because I was forced to do it. And now, I do what I do because I want to do it! THESE PEOPLE WILL TURN ON YOU IN A HEARTBEAT! AND YOU’RE A PIECE OF CRAP JUST LIKE ALL OF THEM! REALLY!? I SOLD OUT! EVERYTHING I’VE DONE! HUH!? HOW QUICKLY YOU ALL FORGET WHAT I’VE DONE! COME ON, AJ, FIGHT FOR THESE PEOPLE WHO WILL TURN ON YOU! DO IT BECAUSE THEY’LL PAY YOUR BILLS, AJ!
Dreamer - YOU SONS OF BITCHES!
Fan - WRESTLING MATTERS CUZ IT’S A BIG PARTY AND THERE’S NOTHING LIKE IT!
Tenay - HOW CAN STING BE IN 2 PLACES AT ONCE!?
Kurt - DING DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD! After months and months, that big fat throbbing pain in my ass is gone. Now I have to give credit where it’s due - and I give it to Chyna. After 10 years in hiatus, she came out of retirement to do a favor for me. DID ANY OF YOU SEE THE MATCH!? Well, if you didn’t, basically, it was awesome… yeah. Chyna planted that bitch’s face in the mat and broke her frickin’ ankle! Now, Chyna, I know you’re not here - I wanna thank you. I’m indebted to you forever, honey. Jeff, after 6 months, I get what I want - you and me one on one no distractions! AT SLAMMIVERSARY! Now I just got off the phone with Mick, there’s gonna be a special stip cuz the winner becomes the number 1 contender to the world heavyweight championship. Jeff, READ MY LIPS - SOMEONE’S ASS IS GONNA BE TAPPIN THAT NIGHT, BITCH! IT’S REAL, IT’S DAMN REAL!
Jeff - Kurt, are you kidding me? YOU AND ME ONE LAST TIME!? Why don’t you ask Mick what you did to deserve one final match with me!? YOU CAN CRY FOUL ALL YA WANT, BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS EVERY TIME I FACED YOU IN THIS RING, I DEFEATED. YOU CAN PUT ALL THE HEAT YOU WANT ON KAREN, BUT WE BOTH KNOW THAT’S BULLSHIT! Kurt, it was you and only you that allowed yourself to be distracted. IT WAS YOUR ADD, YOUR MENTAL INCOMPETENCE! NO, KURT, I KEPT MY EYE ON THE BALL AND STAYED FOCUSED. I NEVER ALLOWED ANY DISTRACTIONS. BECAUSE I WAS BETTER THAN YOU, KURT! KURT, I AM BETTER THAN YOU! YEAH, FOR THE LIFE OF ME I CAN’T UNDERSTAND THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDALIST! SOMEONE WHO IS ADORED BY MILLIONS OF KIDS, FOR YOU TO COME OUT HERE AND MAKE EXCUSES IS BEYOND ME! But hold on, you wanna go one final time at Slammiversary? I’m up for that! And Kurt, in your heart of hearts, if you believe you’re better than me, you can grin all ya want - then you’ll have no problem agreeing to this stipulation. I HAVE TAKEN EVERYTHING, AND I MEAN EVERYTHING THAT MEANS ANYTHING TO YOU EXCEPT ONE THING. AND THAT ONE THING IS IN PITTSBURGH, IN YOUR OFFICE, AND THAT’S YOUR OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL! Angle vs. Jarrett at Slammivesary Nine with the gold medal on the line!
Karen - Hey Kurt, guess what - Big Daddy won’t be alone at Slammivesary either. HAHAHAHA. Kurt, you know what - your plan may have knocked me down, but you will never take me out!
Jarrett - THIS IS A MOTHER OF FIVE!
Max - We’ve said some things, but for the better good of the X division - let’s set it all aside.
Eric - Hulkster, how’d it go? I KNEW IT! Put Hogan in a room with 2 network execs and Foley, and we know who comes out on top. Tonight, I’M KNOCKOUT OUT VANILLA MIDGETS!
Karen - JEFF, WHEEL ME OUT!
Taz - Max and Jeremy were influenced by the Hardy Boyz.
Tenay - Certainly not a cigarette…bad tag team to be influenced by.
Tenay - This is step 3 in Bischoff’s plan to eliminate the X division from Impact Wrestling.
Taz - Bischoff has good ring positioning. Let go of the tag rope for a while, but sometimes that happens.
Taz - Jackson James getting all over Mr. Bischoff - CAREFUL THERE MR. JAMES!
Tenay - DID YOU HEAR THAT?!
Taz - I didn’t heart it…
Tenay - NEXT WEEK, HULK HOGAN AND MICK FOLEY RETURN TO IMPACT WRESTLING!
Taz - Bischoff’s got that kung-fu grip.
Winter - Let’s go, Love…
Taz - We’ve seen Winter stick stuff into Angelina’s liquids for weeks.
Taz - I just want one pigeon to be let loose!
Tenay - Next week, Jeff Jarrett and Kurt Angle will compete - and they will pick each other’s opponent. Angle will face RVD.
Tenay - Also next week - AJ AND DANIELS!? AGAINST BULLY RAY AND TOMMY DREAMER!?
ODB - YOU WHORE! KISS MY ASS YOU DIRTY WHORE! I’M BACK AND I’M BRINGING BACK BAM!
Tessmacher - HOW IS THIS A PHOTOSHOOT!? YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A CAMERA!
EY - Lemme show you some stuff OJ showed me in our studio apartment.
EY - IN OUR MATCH LAST WEEK, WE TOOK EACH OTHER TO THE LIMIT! AND NOW I’VE GOT BOTH BELTS!
Flair - ROODE, BOBBY ROODE, I TOLD YOU AN HOUR AGO TO MARCH! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE, SOLDIER! NOW! You ever been so mad at yourself that you can’t sleep at night because you’re so pissed off!? WELL THAT WOULD BE ME! I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP SINCE I TAPPED OUT TO YOU IN CINCINATTI AND I WANNA KNOW WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN JUMP ON THE NATURE BOY LIKE THAT AND LIVE IN THIS BUSINESS FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME!?
Roode - With all due respect, when you came here, I was one of the guys you came to first. You taught me a lot - Lockdown and your shoulder, it was a war! AND YOU TAUGHT ME TO TAKE AN OPPORTUNITY. I HAVE ONE AND I TOOK IT AND YOU TAUGHT ME THAT. YOU KNOW IF THE SHOE WAS ON THE SAME FOOT, YOU’D HAVE DONE TO ME WHAT I DID TO YOU.
Flair - If it was on the other foot, I’D HAVE ENDED YOUR CAREER. MENTORING YOU HELPING YOU BECOME A MAN ARE DIFFERENT THINGS. GETTING YOU DRUNK AND LAID WAS WHAT I WAS DOING. IMPACT WRESTLING, WRESTLE HARD, PLAY HARDER. THAT’S WHAT WE’RE SELLING NOW!
Roode - What happened at Lockdown was business. BUT I’VE BEEN A MAN FOR A LONG TIME AND I’LL BE ONE LONG AFTER YOU’RE GONE. WE NEED TO MOVE FORWARD. You’ve hard your time…
Flair - THEY BEEN TELLING ME THAT FOR 25 YEARS YOU ASSHOLE! AND I’M NOT KEN ANDERSON CALLING YOU THAT - I’M RIC FLAIR. TWO DIFFERENT PLACES IN THE WORLD. I’M GLAD YOU DID IT. I got a saying, to be the man, you gotta beat the man - you beat the man BUT BEATING THE MAN AND STAYING THE MAN ARE SEPARATE THINGS! BREAK IT AGAIN!
Roode - IT’S OVER.
Flair - IT’S NOT OVER TILL I SAY SO, ASSHOLE!
Sting - HOW ‘BOUT IMPACT WRESTLING TONIGHT!?
Crowd - STING! STING! STING!
Sting - IT’S SO GOOD TO BE HERE, LEMME TELL YA. I love this place. I wanna acknowledge one great wrestler - I’m talking about the man that took me to the limit on Sunday - ROB VAN DAM. YEAH! That was for you, RVD. I’ll be the first to admit it - I got by with the skin of my teeth, and I haven’t lost my focus on Hogan and Bischoff and taking the power away from you and putting it right back where it belongs. And being the world champion or anyone who’s been the world champion, you make yourself the target by being the champion, because it wasn’t more than 60 seconds after I won that Ken Anderson was in my face!
Tenay - IT WAS MR. ANDERSON CHARADING STING.