Why do you masturbate? nsfw - most likely

[quote name='guyver2077']how bout a serious response..

reason NOT to masterbate

to keep testosterone levels high...keep your body looking shredded..

You need all that for hitting weights! :)[/quote]

The drop in testerone is extremely minimal. Not enough to affect your workouts, or their results.
 
Because sex is nice but it's not as good as the real thing.

Also got a kick out of the google ad for this thread. It was some crap for concern worldwide about feeding the worlds hungry. Well cum is full of protein........
 
My high school Health Ed teacher said this once:

"Five things to remember about masturbation:

1. always there when you need it
2. no one gets pregnant
3. no STDs
4. it'll be the best sex you ever have, or...
5. it'll be the only sex you ever get"
 
[quote name='DarthPuma']Do you aim up and blow your load on your belly?[/QUOTE]

No. In fact, I unzip my pants, keep my underwear on, and "play the flute." I don't whip it out and wrap my hand around it. I never liked doing that.

Then I let my underwear soak up the mess. It's actually quite the elegant solution to cleaning up, and the semen doesn't get all over the place.
 
[quote name='Chase']Because I want to show how funky strong is my fight, and that it doesn't matter who's wrong or right.[/quote]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I can't believe that went unnoticed by the commenting masses. :applause:
 
[quote name='tiredfornow']what? some of us are handsome young men and have girlfriends with a healthy, steady sex drive. you can't throw everybody in the disgusting masturbation pit because you're disabled and fat. who needs masturbation when you can have someone do it for you? :cool:[/QUOTE]

That was the shittiest trolling Ive seen all day. The intention was obvious and unprovoked. I mean, if you went into the wii forums (saw your avatar) and started trolling, at least you would know why based on the headline "microsoft is the best" you have, but this is just being a dick.
 
[quote name='tiredfornow']what? some of us are handsome young men and have girlfriends with a healthy, steady sex drive. you can't throw everybody in the disgusting masturbation pit because you're disabled and fat. who needs masturbation when you can have someone do it for you? :cool:[/QUOTE]

Some people have girlfriends who don't put out. :cry:
 
[quote name='Access_Denied']Some people have girlfriends who don't put out. :cry:[/quote]

Why would you stay in a relationship with someone who won't fuck you?
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']No. In fact, I unzip my pants, keep my underwear on, and "play the flute." I don't whip it out and wrap my hand around it. I never liked doing that.

Then I let my underwear soak up the mess. It's actually quite the elegant solution to cleaning up, and the semen doesn't get all over the place.[/QUOTE]

Trying to visualize playing the flute so I could understand it probably means I'm gay.

BTW, you're fucked in the head. But it's okay, because it's hilarious. :lol:
 
[quote name='guyver2077']how bout a serious response..

reason NOT to masterbate

to keep testosterone levels high...keep your body looking shredded..

You need all that for hitting weights! :)[/QUOTE]

Good call Brucie.
 
Well i do it cuz im in the army and on a 15 month deployment!!! Yea suxs to be me . . . I just miss my wife really. But im at the end of this deployment . . 1st week of Feb i should be back at good ol' Ft.Hood!!!:bouncy:
 
[quote name='Chuplayer']No. In fact, I unzip my pants, keep my underwear on, and "play the flute." I don't whip it out and wrap my hand around it. I never liked doing that.

Then I let my underwear soak up the mess. It's actually quite the elegant solution to cleaning up, and the semen doesn't get all over the place.[/quote]
:lol::lol::lol:
 
[quote name='Chase']Because I want to show how funky strong is my fight, and that it doesn't matter who's wrong or right.[/quote]
Oh Chase, you're a goddamn national treasure.
 
[quote name='HumanSnatcher']Lets face it, everybody does, and if they say otherwise, they're lying[/quote]


I'm pretty sure it is impossible for parapalegics or some one like Stephen Hawking to do it, but I get what you are saying.
 
Masturbate.jpg
 
[quote name='guyver2077']how bout a serious response..

reason NOT to masterbate

to keep testosterone levels high...keep your body looking shredded..

You need all that for hitting weights! :)[/quote]

Is this true?

No wonder I feel all energized, it's been weeks.
 
[quote name='D_Icon']Is this true?

No wonder I feel all energized, it's been weeks.[/QUOTE]

No, very much the opposite. It's the sort of thing idiot gym rats and athletes who's lives peak in high school are taught by people who shouldn't be regarded as a source of any meaningful information.

Unless you have other humans fulfilling all your sexual desires, anyone with a normal to high testosterone level is going to be compelled to masturbate. Giving in to that desire doesn't make a dent in your testosterone level. Masturbation would be a symptom, not a treatment, of a high testosterone level. By the same logic, getting laid on Tuesday should make you uninterested in sex on Wednesday. Usually, the reverse is true. You want to go back for more, preferably from the same source. Social bonding is a major function of non-procreative sex.
 
[quote name='DarlingNina']Guys masturbate??? No one ever told me. I'm never touching another man's hand ever! :bomb:[/quote]

I saw this one video that said that people indirectly touch around 80 penii a day, :lol: but unfortunately, only about 5 vaginas. :cry:
 
[quote name='PhrostByte']I saw this one video that said that people indirectly touch around 80 penii a day, :lol: but unfortunately, only about 5 vaginas. :cry:[/quote]

That's a good thing. Less bacteria.
 
[quote name='DarlingNina']That's a good thing. Less bacteria.[/quote]

What a horrible mental image... So you're saying human vagina = komodo dragon's mouth?
 
[quote name='Rei no Otaku']Because my wife doesn't look like an anime girl.[/QUOTE]
The best/worst part about this statement is that it's pure, 100% fact.
 
Because as much fun as I have posting in this thread, in 30 seconds I'm going to be bored again.
 
Because......

A.) My balls tend to get sore if I don't do it for more than 3 days.

B.) Makes me fall asleep faster.

C.) Gives me a second use out of my tube socks.
 
[quote name='Survivor Charlie']I took a viagra once.

I don't remember anything after that but I woke up the next morning with blisters on my hands.[/quote]
Quote of the Century?
 
True story -
My roommate sophomore year worked at this sex shop. She was always imploring us to come by and check it out. So finally one day I was bored, so I went with my two best friends at the time - one male, one female. We all agreed to buy something while we were there, for fun.

Anyway, we're looking around at all the kinky contraptions, and generally enjoying ourselves. I was highly amused by the fleshlights, and picked up this absolutely ridiculous one. It was shaped like a giant blue mermaid with big tits, and it was like $90.

My best male friend happens to be the cheapest bastard on the planet, so I called him over and told him to buy it. It was so cheesy yet expensive, it was perfect for him. So he comes over, takes one look at it and says.."No, I already have that."

So I'm calling him a fucking liar and a cheapskate and everything, right? I'm like, you just don't want to have to buy anything, you know you don't have it. So he's like, all right, I'll show you when we get back to the dorms, and we made a little bet on it. We left the sex shop after a little while. Back at the dorm, he leads me into his room and opens his desk drawer. He pulls out this huge white towel (GROSS) and unwraps it - lo and behold, the fucking blue mermaid. Exactly the same one from the store, a little worse from use.

Now, I'm sure all these stores (including wherever he got it) use the same companies, but I literally pulled the most gaudy, whorish thing I could find off the shelf and he had it. Needless to say, I lost that bet and had to buy him dinner. I should have known he'd never gamble. Dirty bastard. :cool:
 
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