I know the feeling. My dog of 11 years passed away 2 weeks ago. Still wake up in the morning looking for her so I can take her outside. It hard. She was my first kid.
Game Pass is on sale on Amazon. 6 months for 29.99 https://www.amazon.com/Xbox-Game-Pass-Membership-Digital/dp/B07BKXDW67/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1528461168&sr=8-4&keywords=game+pass