“You gotta come over, I just bought an Arsenal Wireless Rechargeable Controller!”
That set him off, it seemed, as he immediately said he would be there and hung up the phone. He got to my house in less than 10 minutes.
I was playing Mario Kart with Vin Diesel.
He was pretty bad at it too. The whole time he would be swearing at me, telling me I was cheating, hitting me, knocking my controller out of my hand, calling time-outs to rest or get a drink or go to the bathroom and and then call time-in when I either wasn't paying attention or not in the room. It was really frustrating, to be completely honest.
The only reason he was over in the first place was because I won some contest to win a day with Vin Diesel. A friend of mine signed me up as a joke and were laughing hysterically when I won. They wanted to hang out with him too, but to spite them I told them we were meeting at a bar on the opposite side of town; we never left my house.
But I kind of regretted it since Vin Diesel kind of sucked to hang around. All he wanted to do was either complain or lift weights. When I suggested we do some drugs he whipped out steroids. We ended up doing steroids all night and I was not happy. That is a boring as hell drug. No excitement whatsoever, so obviously the whole shindig boiled down to us playing Mario Kart in my basement. Thankfully I had bought a Wii from DailySteals, otherwise I would've had to play cards with him. That wouldn't have been so bad if the only kind of card game he could play wasn't War.
Why won't this darn thing work?!?
I had just spent the last hour screaming at my television. I threw everything in sight around the room. I broke a window, a lamp, the coffee table, and the television itself. That was the final straw. My children kept telling me that I was using the wrong remote to control the TV, but I knew they were wrong.
“Daddy! Stop throwing things! You're trying to use the Memorex Wii Motion Plus Controller as a TV remote!” my 5-year old daughter said before I picked up a chair and launched it across the room.
I was on the warpath because I wanted to watch the Orlando Magic face off against the Chicago Bulls at 8:00 PM and I couldn't. This to me is completely legitimate grounds for going on a complete warpath for as long as I feel. I literally tore apart the couch in anger. I threw plates full of food against the walls. I threw our dog out the window. I invited my neighbor over just to yell at him. Once I let off, he asked if I wanted to watch the game at his house. Apparently he had been asking me that the entire time, but I was too distracted shouting.
“Great, you go to the store and get some beer; I'll go get the game set up. Honey,” I said, turning to my wife, “this place looks terrible, could you please clean it up for when I get home? Thanks.”