26 yrs old, never a g/f (UPDATED)

[quote name='JimmieMac']You just get with the wrong bitches, but your story is one for another topic.[/QUOTE]

Right. However, and for whatever reason, I feel that I need to find the right one, rather than settle for a quick round of humpty-dumpty. And the more and more I see that she's not here, or there, or now; and when I do find her, she'd have been with 17 dudes prior to me (I think my first girlfriend was with 4 or 5 before me), the more and more I think I should just be bangin' dames like a fuckin' drum.

But I'll save that complex for another day.

To apply what I just said to this topic, and I may have a problem with this, is that I'm searching for something as fabled as a unicorn (sugary analogy, I know). Go out and play the field, as they say... I've blindly turned girls away because I was obsessed with ones who would just hurt me in the end. You might find the one who counts where you least expect it -- and, no; not in your family.
 
So, you've been fucking random girls... yet you're upset as you don't have one specific girlfriend... ya, you may want to get your head checked out! All jokes aside, what makes you so sure you want a specific ladyfriend? I know there's that basic human need for companionship, but relationships are often a lot of the wrong dirty 4 letter word... work, and all in all most turn out to be a real hassle.

Assuming you do get in a relationship and it doesn't work out, you could be setting yourself up for even more depression and heartbreak. That is unless of course you're fortunate to find the *right* girl, on the first try, but I'm pretty sure that just doesn't happen.
 
I second a therapist. Be cautious of prescriptions though. That stuff'll mess you up good.

Its too bad just sitting there and not taking initiative doesnt get you anywhere. It works perfectly if you are a woman.

Dont feel any external pressure to do anything. If you can be happy doing your own thing, then you dont really need to do something just because everyone else figures you OUGHT to.

Also, all women are hos. Commitment just means you're buying in bulk rather than a quick rental.
 
Dude, you're still young, and still in school. Go out and meet people while you still can. It's possible. I used to be like you a little. Believe me, it gets a bit harder to meet people once you're out in the real world, so take advantage now. In my experience its easier to make friends in school than being in the real world at work as school is more "social"

Just keep at it...I don't want to see you posting a thread like this 20 years later:

http://forum.dvdtalk.com/showthread.php?t=272667
 
your gearing up for police academy with this kind of attitude???im sorry to say man but thats sad...Policeman should have the attitude like im the top man and no one can fuck with me...you need to gain that attitude to bring up that confidence you need..your gonna need it for academy school and the real life...i dont think you want be to a push over as a cop and as a person. after reading what you said..it seems like your just scared and lazy...your too scared to go out and your too lazy to do something about it. change that man and get the fuck up and get the fuck out and have a fucking great time...do what the others say go out and just talk to a girl...you dont have to immediatley sweet talk her..just start talking to someone and that should build you up.im sorry man but im sick of hearing the depressed,im lonely shit..
 
[quote name='integralsmatic']your gearing up for police academy with this kind of attitude???im sorry to say man but thats sad...Policeman should have the attitude like im the top man and no one can fuck with me[/QUOTE]

Naaaaah... I don't think we need any more egomaniacal cops.
 
maybe not so far as to be egomaniacal. But cops should be able to speak with AUTHORITY. Because thats literally what they are. The Authority.

You'd never be able to give a hot bitch a ticket. Just a little boo-hooing and you're done for.
 
[quote name='evophile']

Just keep at it...I don't want to see you posting a thread like this 20 years later:

http://forum.dvdtalk.com/showthread.php?t=272667[/QUOTE]

You know what's hilarious in that thread... Penny Arcade did a few articles on people who are hired by companies to make online identities on message boards with the sole purpose of integrating into the community while promoting a product.

Look at the user Testy.... he just happens to be 40, and he plugs 40 year old virgin in almost every one of his posts. "I'll be turning 40 in a few months... just around the time 40 year old virigin comes out" "I hope no one gets me 40 year old virgin for my birthday!"

All his posts just read like a transcript about the movie.
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']What ever makes it easier for you to sleep at night you sexless pedo.[/QUOTE]


Post of the Year! Nice job Jimmie!
 
Okay, maybe i'm a bit retarded, but..

You don't socialize, you don't get out, you don't talk to anyone at school, you don't put any foot forward in any situation to communicate with girls.

It sounds like you've recognized the problem, now fix it. As Jimmie said, there's two things that you have to go after, they don't knock on your door. The way you're talking, it seems like you're expecting some chick to pop up in front of your door all wet from the rain and asking for a set of fresh clothes. It's not like that.

And how could you even think you know what love is if you've never even had a girlfriend?

Look, the truth is, you're prepping for the police academy - within the next 2 years, you'll be fucking some chick so she can get out of a ticket.

And for god's sake, never take advice from Sub.
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']There are two things that don't come knockin' on your front door, jobs and pussy. You gotta get out there and put rubber to the road if you're gonna make shit happen in either case.[/QUOTE]

Well, it's not unheard of to have people come to your door and say "Hey! I need you to make me beef tournedoes and a creme brulee, and then pound me in the ass!" But, as fortune would have it, I had misplaced my kitchen torch.

I think that you're on to something here; the OP either lacks or is uninterested in basic socialization with new people. I also think that JimmieMac is probably the wrong shecky to be giving advice, as it would appear that the OP wants a "girlfriend," and not some fit crack.

I don't know what I'd recommend to you, OP. The harshest reality that any male faces in modern American society is the adage that women don't dig "nice guys." That seems to be true for the most part, and it's not worth the effort to wait for those that do, because you end up lonely and posting on the internet in the interim. What you need to do is stay off of the prowl and do two things: stake out spots to consistently go out and socialize, and observe your friends. Doing the latter will help you recognize behavior patterns consistent with the crazies, the obsessives, the drunks, the cheaters, the not-putting-outers, the spend-your-dollars, and so on and so forth. Of course, it goes without saying that all that knowledge goes right out the window once some female expresses interest in you, but it's nice to be able to tell yourself that you knew better than to hook up with so-and-so after the fact.

The former allows you to make like your pooch and stake your territory. What you want to do is make friendly with the owners and clientele, and establish yourself as a regular; this helps in avoiding some of the weirdness that people may approach you with in that "is he gonna date rape me?" kind of way.

I'd say you've been out of the game for long enough that you need to plan out a strategy before getting back in; unless, of course, you just want some quick action. But let me tell you this: it isn't worth putting up with a crazy (though it is to your friends).

[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']In my case it's a choice, and a rather easy one at that.[/QUOTE]

Babelfish translation: "I don't want to violate the restraining order at the elementary school."
 
If you play an instrument, put some "band wanted" flyers up. It's one of the few things I can think of since I'm not too social myself. We have band practice every week so, and it at least gives us something to do.

Bars are pretty boring and gross. It's easy to make friends at college, but only if you live on campus. I moved back home and I don't socialize as much these days. Hanging out at a gym or some clubs is a good way perhaps. If you make a few friends in different locations, they can introduce you to new people.
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']What ever makes it easier for you to sleep at night you sexless pedo.[/QUOTE]1) Isn't that the best kind?
2) It's not pedophilia once they're bleeding.
3) If I could sleep easy I wouldn't be here posting at 2am.
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']1) Isn't that the best kind?
2) It's not pedophilia once they're bleeding.
3) If I could sleep easy I wouldn't be here posting at 2am.[/QUOTE]

This dude creeps me out. :(
 
Well if you do not talk to anyone besides coworkers and a roomy don't expect to have friends let alone a girlfriend. Talk to people at school and go out to the bar or some place else once and awhile.

Since you live in Michigan I will take you out to have fun! Seriously, I do not mind!
 
[quote name='radjago']This could be the start of a new "Chronicles of valor19's Love Life"[/QUOTE]

Not unless he turns his business around. Its going to be the Chronicles of......continued nothing?
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']1) Isn't that the best kind?
2) It's not pedophilia once they're bleeding.
3) If I could sleep easy I wouldn't be here posting at 2am.[/QUOTE]

:bomb: you're a sick fuck
 
I used to be very antisocial, then I was put on Klonopin for anxiety, and even though I didn't feel any different I became more outgoing. Maybe you have anxiety?
 
I haven't read everything but I'll say this, if you find a girl you like go for it. But don't try to be best friends at first because that is all you will ever be. Be nice, but don't be EVERYTHING.

If you are really serious about finding someone try a site like E-Harmony. You can probably find someone with similar likes and dislikes. It's probably better than something like Yahoo Personals.
 
[quote name='valor19']
First let me start by pointing out that I'm not gay. Also, I'm not the stereo-typical "parents basement living, overweight" person that most people associate with gamers. In fact, I don't live at home (but it makes sense since I am 26 years old) and I'm in decent shape since I've been prepping for the police academy. And did I mention that besides work and school that I don't go out at all? Because, I don't. I'm not very social and I don't have any friends besides my roommate. I have some buddies at work but don't talk to them outside of work. Also, I don't talk to anyone at school. [/QUOTE]

Problem found.

OK, dude- as far as geeks go, you're in a good place (ie, not overweight no-job loser). Provided you can actually do the Police thing, you're in a great place. You just need to get OUT and talk to people.

Here's the most important thing- DON'T go out with the intent to meet someone, unless you just want a quickie. Go out simply to do something you like. Any good arcades in your area? Stop by once a week. Find a hiking trail or a rock wall or a Magic Card tourney or whatever floats your boat. And talk to whoever's handy- you've got something in common if you're both doing that same activity, so start with that, then maybe ask about other things you're into... or not. It doesn't matter cuz you're just trying to enjoy yourself.

Worst case senario- you still don't meet anyone, but now you don't care as much cus you're actually doing something with yourself. (And for the love of Pete, TALK TO PEOPLE AT SCHOOL!! You couldn't ask for a better setup!)

And if the idea of conversing with others is so stressing you can't even go out once in awhile for yourself... look into the aforementioned anxiety medication. It'd be a shame to alone your whole life just becuase of an easily-corrected chemical imbalance or something.
 
[quote name='valor19']Well, I don't dance. Where I live there are bars and there are clubs. The bars seem to generally attract the older and white trash crowd which leaves me with clubs. The clubs, however, seem to focus on the dancing thing which isn't my cup of tea.


In fact, I once took a girl to a club (per her request) and learned to dance prior to that night just for her. However, the whole thing went up in a ball of flames because she is a total bitch when she gets a few drinks in her. Did I mention that I met her at work? Because I did. The following week I transferred.[/QUOTE]

I havent read throught his whole thing yet but the fucking bar is not the only place. Hell yeah the Icon can go there but shit who can blame him hes on a totally different level with the chicks. I mean he kicks them out of the bathroom before hes even finished! Most guys wouldnt do that if they looked up and realized they were screwing Grandma Gonorrhea once they had started.

What are your hobbies? Is it just cheap games? What else interests you? Thats where you start. You will have some ideas of what to talk about etc if you are familier with the subject matter.

Anything you have wanted to do? i.e. skydive, paintball, fish. What hobbies have interested you?

And that E Harmony website is for real. One of my best friends hooked up on that site 2 years ago and got married late last year. It was just one of those try it and see things for both of them. He couldnt be happier. He was just out of a relationship where his wife was running around on him and he was hitting rock bottom due to that.
 
well, why are you looking for a gf? Just for a shag or for a friend you can be intimate with? Most guys don't want to admit that they "need" someone, even if it is something really basic like physical contact or feeling relaxed.

I dunno in your situation - but at some point you've got to ask yourself what you want and why you want it.

But DAMN HOMEY! I'd go apeshit nuts if I was you! Brother can't breathe without his fair share of the awesome pockets, know what I'm saying?
 
[quote name='Sleepkyng']
But DAMN HOMEY! I'd go apeshit nuts if I was you! Brother can't breathe without his fair share of the awesome pockets, know what I'm saying?[/QUOTE]


:rofl:
 
Q: How do shy people meet?
A: they don't!


I guess I can relate with my own story--

I go through phases of anti-sociality myself, usually right after I've moved, since I am pretty introverted and enjoy observing a place as a "stranger." plus, I enjoy the alone time A LOT, so I take advantage of it before I go out and meet anyone (cause a lot of people take it personally if you decide to hang out alone for a few weeks for some reason.)
I'm in a phase right now, as a matter of fact, since I'm trying to kick ass this first semester at the university. (Also, I'm 24 and I live in a dorm with a bunch of 18-19 year old guys who have a lot of spirit but are a pain to be around for more than an hour.) Come summertime though, it's over!

So I when I do pull myself out to be social, I do pretty much everything people here have said, which boils down to going out, making lots of small talk (you'll be rusty at first, but it gets better), hitting up a social area and just making connections. try to remember as many faces as possible, so you can recognize them on the street and talk there....it just snowballs and before you know it, you'll be craving anonymity :lol:

Bars are obviously one of the best places to do this-- people are looser and are more likely to be open with you. That's where I like to go, I can't pull it off at a coffee shop or bookstore, since everyone there seems to be in their own little world.

so you're asking about a girl and I'm talking about just being social, well, IMO, The girlfriend part comes after making friends around town. It's hard to find a woman when you're isolated and most girls don't want to date a guy who doesn't know his way around town or have any friends (which are kinda like references to your character, so she knows she isn't getting in with a freak)

and for your sake, you don't want to just jump into anything with anyone-- you need to get to know what kinda girl you're getting with and be able to recognize some signs, so you don't find yourself up shit's creek. For example, if she's 30 and hasn't been married and is really horny, that means she wants a kid ;)

if you find yourself disregarding/not taking action on the advice in the thread, that's a good indicator that you might need to see a therapist!
 
Give craigslist a try. I was in a pretty simulat situation to you - All of my friends I have known for a while, I don't meet any girls at work, and I don't like going out to clubs/bars. This really cuts down the options. So I tried craigslist - Recently I've had like 3 or 4 quality dates that I never would have had a chance at without looking online.

And last Friday I went out with a wonderful girl - We went to a nice restaurant and then back to my apartment where we watched the X-Files until 5 AM. Even if it doesn't go any further than that, I'm considering it the ultimate craigslist success story.
 
[quote name='rockhero']Give craigslist a try. I was in a pretty simulat situation to you - All of my friends I have known for a while, I don't meet any girls at work, and I don't like going out to clubs/bars. This really cuts down the options. So I tried craigslist - Recently I've had like 3 or 4 quality dates that I never would have had a chance at without looking online.

And last Friday I went out with a wonderful girl - We went to a nice restaurant and then back to my apartment where we watched the X-Files until 5 AM. Even if it doesn't go any further than that, I'm considering it the ultimate craigslist success story.[/QUOTE]

I'd only consider it a Success depending on what they look like. Sure they don't have to be the hottest girl around but they have to be better then average. I could never do that blind date type of shit.
 
[quote name='rockhero']Give craigslist a try. I was in a pretty simulat situation to you - All of my friends I have known for a while, I don't meet any girls at work, and I don't like going out to clubs/bars. This really cuts down the options. So I tried craigslist - Recently I've had like 3 or 4 quality dates that I never would have had a chance at without looking online.

And last Friday I went out with a wonderful girl - We went to a nice restaurant and then back to my apartment where we watched the X-Files until 5 AM. Even if it doesn't go any further than that, I'm considering it the ultimate craigslist success story.[/QUOTE]

that may be the most successful craigslist story i've heard :lol: some of my friends have tried it multiple times with no success.
 
I wouldn't even think about lookoing for a girlfriend right now. You need to get out and learn how to be more social. Even if you could find a girl right now, she would eventually get sick of sitting at home all the time.

It sounds like you have social anxiety. Just go out and even if you are afraid, try to talk to people. Eventually you will get more comfortable and it will get easier. You need to make an effort though instead of just complaining you don't have any friends.

As someone else mentioned, start with the people at work. Even if you go to a happy hour with them and don't want to drink at least its something.

EDIT: And don't try dating girls on the internet. You need to learn social skills and that isn't the way to do it.
 
[quote name='greendj27']I wouldn't even think about lookoing for a girlfriend right now. You need to get out and learn how to be more social. Even if you could find a girl right now, she would eventually get sick of sitting at home all the time.

It sounds like you have social anxiety. Just go out and even if you are afraid, try to talk to people. Eventually you will get more comfortable and it will get easier. You need to make an effort though instead of just complaining you don't have any friends.

As someone else mentioned, start with the people at work. Even if you go to a happy hour with them and don't want to drink at least its something.

EDIT: And don't try dating girls on the internet. You need to learn social skills and that isn't the way to do it.[/QUOTE]

I disagree on the internet part. my bro does a lot of chatting on Yahoo Messenger and has gotten a few dates that way. You just have to be extrsa careful you are not talking to a guy posing to be a chick. Since the OP seems to know PCs decently a chat room may be kind of a training wheels for him to get his confidence up. There are a lot of similarily lonely people on there trying to make a connection as well. Plus it would be less about the physical and more about Persoanalities on there which is what truly strong relationships. Or you could just do what I did and marry your ex gf's best friend.
 
Once you realize that no matter where you go (except anything work-related) no one is paying attention to you and if they are it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. It is so much easier to meet girls once you get over (embrace) the fear of rejection. If you approach 20 girls in one night chances are one of them will hang around and if not, there's always tomorrow. It's that easy.

[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']I'm not sure if I should be flattered that you mentioned me, but really, you shouldn't. I don't really contribute anything meaningful to the site, I just spend alot of time online. 20,000 posts of dead weight, right fucking here. :lol:[/QUOTE]

I'll add that to my post as well except replace "20,000 posts of dead weight" with "7,000 posts about my shitting habits."
 
[quote name='javeryh']I'll add that to my post as well except replace "20,000 posts of dead weight" with "7,000 posts about my shitting habits."[/QUOTE]Yes, but we all enjoy them so. :lol:
 
interesting topic....i guess i'm in similar situation. I just turned 25 recently and am currently a college student. actually you'd think going to college it would easy to meet chicks, go on date, etc. Actually I used to be the fun, party type...like to go lcubbing etc with friends. but past couple yrs i guess anxiety/fear has gotten the best of me and i avoid those type os socializing settings. Also it seems to me at my schools more girls keep to themselves and are reserved. sure they are probably wild and fun, but omedont give u the time of day even if its jsut in a classroom setting.anyways ive also never had a gf, am a virgin, never been in a relationship or even kissed a chick, kind of pathetic actually lol. i actually tried the online thing back in the day on aol when i was 19 and i wouldn't advise it, kind of awkward, but thats the last action i got lol. Yeah since ive had this anxiety, i've also lost in touch with all of my friends/acquiantances for about 3 yrs or so. dont really have any friends, but might have the occassional acquaintance/small talk with classmates if i have to do group porjects, thats about it...thats why i'm plannign to transfer to another school next fall far away from home so i'm forced to be put in those situations and jsut get out there more. since ive been just going through the motions for the past couple yrs. the anxiety got really bad that i even took a semester off school because i couldnt be around those situations and havent really worked due to the same reasons.. .its actually improved a bit, but still have those doubts and fears lurking...have no idea how they even got there in the 1st place. its just a really tough situation to get over anxiety and get rid of that perceptio nthat others are judging you or u feel like you're not good enough...ithis seems kind of dumb, but i'll also add most of the social settings i'm in only involved when i'm trying to a CAG deal lol like at TRU, CC, BB, etc.. i'l leven drive 50 or so miles to a further store thats less crowded lol since i can stand huge crowds at malls and stuff, havent been to a mall in years...either drive a long distance or just buy it online
 
Here's a simple solution, go to your local video store, rent Hitch, watch the movie, call the "Date Doctor" and bam, problem solved.

Your sure your not gay,right?
 
I'm pretty similar. I don't really have any local friends to hang out with, and I have gone out by myself before, but it's just not any fun. Plus, when you're out alone, chicks can tell, and then they wonder why you're by yourself.
 
yeah what kind of guy really sits in a restaurant alone by himself..i'd never do that lol. maybe clubs are alittle better since its dark and crowded, and not as noticeable as in a restaurant
 
[quote name='sblymnlcrymnl']1) Isn't that the best kind?
2) It's not pedophilia once they're bleeding.
3) If I could sleep easy I wouldn't be here posting at 2am.[/QUOTE]

I still don't understand why this long greasy haired mother fucker hasn't been banned
 
[quote name='rly723']yeah what kind of guy really sits in a restaurant alone by himself..i'd never do that lol. maybe clubs are alittle better since its dark and crowded, and not as noticeable as in a restaurant[/QUOTE]

A salesperson lunch would eat by himself quite a bit if they didn't have any lunches with customers. It's really not a big deal.
 
What you need to do is ask yourself what you are looking for in a friend or a girlfriend. I have friends and my wife but i'm not very friendly. The thing is I look for people who care for things outside of having bling and acting the part. I don't like most people because they are full of crititism so its hard for me to be friends with people who drink and anyone who doesn't are gay. The only thing i can tell you is when you want to get some its okay even if you hate the chick.
 
[quote name='itspaidgasterblaster']What you need to do is ask yourself what you are looking for in a friend or a girlfriend. I have friends and my wife but i'm not very friendly. The thing is I look for people who care for things outside of having bling and acting the part. I don't like most people because they are full of crititism so its hard for me to be friends with people who drink and anyone who doesn't are gay. The only thing i can tell you is when you want to get some its okay even if you hate the chick.[/QUOTE]


are you retarded?
 
No shame. I have a friend who is 30 and has never had a girlfriend either. He is sort of an asshole though, and wonders why girls don't like him. Be yourself, not some stupid macho prick that people can see right through. Girls have that power you know.
 
If you don't have friends and are anti social how the hell do you expect to meet girls !
i suggest you start socializing talking to people , even if they are strangers
 
I used to have girlfriends but lately I'm so busy that its hard to maintain relationships. I still get into a fling every now and then though.
 
[quote name='Limegreen']If you don't have friends and are anti social how the hell do you expect to meet girls !
i suggest you start socializing talking to people , even if they are strangers[/QUOTE]
LOL fuck that. You can tell people whom don't have any firends. When someone does that do me and just comes up and starts talking I just want to tell them to fuck off and get away from me. They try to hard to make friends and its creepy.
 
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