Corrupt The Above Person's Wish!

[quote name='Demolition Man']But then a bunch of Cowboys raid the game and kill all the Indians.

I wish I could get 12 hours of sleep in 2 hours.[/QUOTE]
Granted. But when you go to work your boss only pays you 2 hours pay for 12 hours of work.

I wish knew what was wrong with my computer.
 
[quote name='dcfox']Granted. But when you go to work your boss only pays you 2 hours pay for 12 hours of work.

I wish knew what was wrong with my computer.[/quote]

Granted, but you will find out that you are the problem.

I wish everybody did what I said so that TF2 practice would go without a hitch.
 
[quote name='darthbudge']Granted, but you will find out that you are the problem.

I wish everybody did what I said so that TF2 practice would go without a hitch.[/quote]

Granted, but the Source engine doesn't support sex with DemoMan.

I wish there was a Evan Almighty 2.
 
[quote name='Pookymeister']Granted, but the Source engine doesn't support sex with DemoMan.

I wish there was a Evan Almighty 2.[/quote]

With over 45+ mins of gai buttsecks.

I wish I had a new job where I didn't have to write reports.
 
[quote name='PlumeNoir']With over 45+ mins of gai buttsecks.

I wish I had a new job where I didn't have to write reports.[/QUOTE]
Granted - You are now a missionary in Africa. However, in your future, you would have been promoted to a writer for the Colbert Report.

I wish a new CAGCast would come out today...
 
[quote name='AlbinoNinja']Granted - You are now a missionary in Africa. However, in your future, you would have been promoted to a writer for the Colbert Report.

I wish a new CAGCast would come out today...[/QUOTE]
Granted. But it's just audio picked up from a microphone hidden in Cheapy's bedroom where he had gay butt sex with a group of Japanese business men.

I wish I was one of those Japanese business men.
 
[quote name='dcfox']Granted. But it's just audio picked up from a microphone hidden in Cheapy's bedroom where he had gay butt sex with a group of Japanese business men.

I wish I was one of those Japanese business men.[/quote]

Granted but you work for Hard Gay.

I wish I had pizza tonight instead of spaghetti.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Granted but you work for Hard Gay.

I wish I had pizza tonight instead of spaghetti.[/QUOTE]
Granted, but it's from the pizza hut by DCFox's house.

I wish I were the best Halo 3 player ever.
 
[quote name='AlbinoNinja']Granted, but it's from the pizza hut by DCFox's house.

I wish I were the best Halo 3 player ever.[/QUOTE]
Granted. You become the best Halo 3 player only because everyone else in the world has died. You soon hang yourself out of lonliness.

I wish I had mind control powers.
 
[quote name='dcfox']Granted. You become the best Halo 3 player only because everyone else in the world has died. You soon hang yourself out of lonliness.

I wish I had mind control powers.[/quote]

Granted. But you can only make people pee uncontrollably.

I wish I could see into the future.
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']Granted, but the only thing you see is Pookymeister peeing all day long.

I wish World Of Warcraft was free.[/quote]

Granted, but the sexy night elf dance has been removed.

I wish Demolition man wasn't so clueless
 
[quote name='SithFran']Granted, but then you have none stop golden showers in your house.

I wish I became a famous film writer/director.[/quote]
Granted. But then you start to hate the fame, and you overdose on heroin.

I wish the NFL never existed.
 
[quote name='Demolition Man']Granted... but then MLS would become insane huge.

I wish Virtua Fighter 5 came out this week for the 360 so I could buy it at Toys R Us.[/quote]
Granted, but then you will get stomped on by bunch of insulted MLS fans because MLS is already 'INSANE HUGE.'

I wish, I wish.
 
[quote name='Pookymeister']Granted, but then your bf would post nudez of you on the internetz.

I wish I had more espresso chip ice cream[/quote]

Granted. Then you'd choke on it.

Wish you weren't such a failure.
 
[quote name='Iron Clad Burrito']Granted but once purchased, you're chopped up, taken to a park, and fed to pelicans.

I wish I were William H. Macy.[/quote]

Granted, but the you will live forever, failing horribly.

I wish I didn't live so far from the DPS so I could get my Drivers Permit.
 
Granted. But then after passing the test, the U.S. government passes driving restrictions on the criminally insane, voiding your test results.

I wish COBOL was more widely accepted.
 
[quote name='Number83']Granted. But then after passing the test, the U.S. government passes driving restrictions on the criminally insane, voiding your test results.

I wish COBOL was more widely accepted.[/quote]

Granted, but Microsoft will go out of business, everybody will forget about Linux and Mac people will start killing others with jazz music, leaving only OS/2 to dominate.

I wish I had 600 dollars right now.
 
[quote name='darthbudge']Granted, but Microsoft will go out of business, everybody will forget about Linux and Mac people will start killing others with jazz music, leaving only OS/2 to dominate.

I wish I had 600 dollars right now.[/quote]

Granted. But you can only use it to buy My Little Pony action figures and playsets.

I wish I had a Jedi part in the Star Wars TV show coming out next year.
 
[quote name='Number83']Granted. But you can only use it to buy My Little Pony action figures and playsets.

I wish I had a Jedi part in the Star Wars TV show coming out next year.[/quote]

Granted but you're a moody whiny little bitch named Annie.

I wish I slept for 10 more minutes this morning.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Granted but you're a moody whiny little bitch named Annie.

I wish I slept for 10 more minutes this morning.[/quote]

Granted but while you are sleeping, charles manson breaks out of jail and kills you.

I wish that Stephen Colbert would become the president.
 
[quote name='darthbudge']Granted but while you are sleeping, charles manson breaks out of jail and kills you.

I wish that Stephen Colbert would become the president.[/quote]

Granted but he actually turns out worse than George Dubya Bush because he stayed 'in character'.

I wish pizza was the nationally recognized breakfast treat.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Granted but he actually turns out worse than George Dubya Bush because he stayed 'in character'.

I wish pizza was the nationally recognized breakfast treat.[/quote]

Wish granted. I won't corrupt it because I wish this too.

I wish that my coffee pot would never run out of coffee.
 
Granted, but after 3 weeks on the job, he decides to go back to TV to host The View, after Whoopi Goldberg meltsdown...literally.

Now that I lost 65 lbs, I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and stay at 200 lbs.
 
[quote name='Number83']Granted, but after 3 weeks on the job, he decides to go back to TV to host The View, after Whoopi Goldberg meltsdown...literally.

Now that I lost 65 lbs, I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and stay at 200 lbs.[/quote]

Granted, but the only food left on earth is Beets and Brussel Sprouts.

I wish I had 26 more CDs so I could get a 2GB Nano.
 
[quote name='darthbudge']Granted, but the only food left on earth is Beets and Brussel Sprouts.

I wish I had 26 more CDs so I could get a 2GB Nano.[/quote]And all of the CD's were the soundtracks to bad 70's porn.

I wish that CAG flushed out all the lurkers.
 
[quote name='shrike4242']And all of the CD's were the soundtracks to bad 70's porn.

I wish that CAG flushed out all the lurkers.[/quote]

Granted, but you become a Mod to commence said flushing.

I wish Shrike was a Mod again. ;)
 
[quote name='Number83']Granted, but you become a Mod to commence said flushing.

I wish Shrike was a Mod again. ;)[/quote]Granted, and then I'd ban CheapyD and everyone else on CAG in said flushing. ;)

I wish I'd win the lottery.
 
[quote name='shrike4242']Granted, and then I'd ban CheapyD and everyone else on CAG in said flushing. ;)

I wish I'd win the lottery.[/quote]

Granted, but then you would become sane and everybody would hate you for it.

I wish I had a 100 dollars so I could buy that Zune on Buy.com right now.
 
[quote name='SithFran']Granted, but then it would overheat and you'd have to wait 3 weeks just to get a coffin.

I wish I was off work right now.[/quote]You'd get off work, long enough to be picked up by the cops for looking exactly like a serial killer.

I wish this thread would never end.
 
[quote name='shrike4242']You'd get off work, long enough to be picked up by the cops for looking exactly like a serial killer.

I wish this thread would never end.[/QUOTE]
Granted but it will get even worse than it already is

I wish they'd make a sequel to the South Park movie, that is even better than the first
 
[quote name='shrike4242']You'd get off work, long enough to be picked up by the cops for looking exactly like a serial killer.

I wish this thread would never end.[/quote]
Granted. But it just degrades into a series of posts by Mox asking for gay sex from a black man.

I wish I could play the guitar.
 
[quote name='I AM WILLIAM H. MACY']Granted but it will get even worse than it already is

I wish they'd make a sequel to the South Park movie, that is even better than the first[/quote]
Granted but it's totally eclipsed by the sheer awesomeness of the Charlie's Angels re-remake featuring Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan as the Angels. Also has Nicole Richie in the gender bending role of Bosley.


[quote name='dcfox']Granted. But it just degrades into a series of posts by Mox asking for gay sex from a black man.

I wish I could play the guitar.[/quote]

Granted but you can only play Freebird and nothing else.

I wish pizza was the nationally recognized breakf... I mean lunch.
 
[quote name='jaykrue']Granted but you can only play Freebird and nothing else.

I wish pizza was the nationally recognized breakf... I mean lunch.[/quote]Granted, it would happen, though it would be taxed at the levels of tobacco.

I wish that work weeks were only 30 hours long.
 
[quote name='shrike4242']Granted, it would happen, though it would be taxed at the levels of tobacco.

I wish that work weeks were only 30 hours long.[/quote]

Granted but everyone now gets paid through urine samples.

I wish Natalie Portman was more nekkidder in Hotel Chevalier.
 
[quote name='klwillis45']Granted...but now you can finally see her penis.

I wish I had a 2nd HDTV.[/quote]Granted, though when you bought it, you'd get your house broken into by the sales rep who sold it to you.

I wish that George Bush would get impeached.
 
[quote name='shrike4242']Granted, though when you bought it, you'd get your house broken into by the sales rep who sold it to you.

I wish that George Bush would get impeached.[/QUOTE]
Granted. Dick Cheney is your new president.

I wish I could have sex with an angel.
 
[quote name='dcfox']Granted. Dick Cheney is your new president.

I wish I could have sex with an angel.[/quote]Granted. You'll be pulling an all-gay train in a 100-angel gangbang.

I wish that I could have infinite wishes.
 
[quote name='shrike4242']Granted. You'll be pulling an all-gay train in a 100-angel gangbang.

I wish that I could have infinite wishes.[/quote]

Granted, but then Wubb locks the thread because he is jealous.

I wish I had all the ingredients I needed to make the dinner I want.
 
[quote name='darthbudge']Granted, but then Wubb locks the thread because he is jealous.

I wish I had all the ingredients I needed to make the dinner I want.[/quote]Granted. You'd have all of them, except the power and gas service are out.

I wish it wasn't raining outside.
 
[quote name='shrike4242']Granted. You'd have all of them, except the power and gas service are out.

I wish it wasn't raining outside.[/quote]

Granted. But now cats and dogs are falling from the sky.

I wish good beer flowed out of water fountains in parks when I'm jogging.
 
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