Damn. My wife just busted me watching PORN on the computer... AGAIN!

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I had to lie to my ex about looking at porn all the time. She didn't even want me to masturbate, which is tough considering she wanted to wait until marriage and I'm a 22 year old virgin. Even when a really hot chick would appear on TV, she would touch me to make sure I didn't get a boner. If i did, I had to lie and say I wasn't paying attention to the TV, but that I was thinking about her. I'm glad thats over with now. It was really unhealthy.
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Oh shit that's fucking scary. My favorite thing to do was get a blow job watching porn, nothing like it. Just watch the screen and enjoy. Helps if your gf swallows no clean up no fuss no muss.

r1s3n
 
[quote name='PhrostByte'][quote name='Grave_Addiction']I don't think my wife would be making fun of me for doing that. Instead, I would be sleeping on the couch for the next several months and probably would never hear the end of it. Ever.[/quote]

Why would you be sleeping on the couch? Does your wife wear the pants in the family?[/quote]

news flash, thats what becoming a wife means.....wearing the pants.
 
[quote name='paz9x'][quote name='PhrostByte'][quote name='Grave_Addiction']I don't think my wife would be making fun of me for doing that. Instead, I would be sleeping on the couch for the next several months and probably would never hear the end of it. Ever.[/quote]

Why would you be sleeping on the couch? Does your wife wear the pants in the family?[/quote]

news flash, thats what becoming a wife means.....wearing the pants.[/quote]

I thought becoming a wife meant "nag, nag, nag until I tune you out" or "shut up and go cook dinner" but I guess I was mistaken...
 
[quote name='manofpeace20']I had to lie to my ex about looking at porn all the time. She didn't even want me to masturbate, which is tough considering she wanted to wait until marriage and I'm a 22 year old virgin. Even when a really hot chick would appear on TV, she would touch me to make sure I didn't get a boner. If i did, I had to lie and say I wasn't paying attention to the TV, but that I was thinking about her. I'm glad thats over with now. It was really unhealthy.[/quote]

Been there... dump'd that! :evil:
 
[quote name='javeryh'][quote name='zionoverfire']Wait javeryh, since when have you actually been home to watch porn? When I see your posts it seems like you spend every waking hour at your job.[/quote]

It was at 2:30 in the morning on Wednesday night (Thusday morning) right after I got home. I had to get rid of the stress somehow... :p[/quote]

I've had a few days like that... I have roommates, so that's like being married as far as jacking off goes...
 
[quote name='rmewpm']my wife would be mad that I wasnt watching it with her[/quote]

Same thing here...

Then the teasing would start....
 
[quote name='javeryh'][quote name='paz9x'][quote name='PhrostByte'][quote name='Grave_Addiction']I don't think my wife would be making fun of me for doing that. Instead, I would be sleeping on the couch for the next several months and probably would never hear the end of it. Ever.[/quote]

Why would you be sleeping on the couch? Does your wife wear the pants in the family?[/quote]

news flash, thats what becoming a wife means.....wearing the pants.[/quote]

I thought becoming a wife meant "nag, nag, nag until I tune you out" or "shut up and go cook dinner" but I guess I was mistaken...[/quote]


I've got it. Seriously..

javeryh wears the pants











But his wife picks them out for him.




ok ok bad joke.
 
[quote name='manofpeace20']I had to lie to my ex about looking at porn all the time. She didn't even want me to masturbate, which is tough considering she wanted to wait until marriage and I'm a 22 year old virgin. Even when a really hot chick would appear on TV, she would touch me to make sure I didn't get a boner. If i did, I had to lie and say I wasn't paying attention to the TV, but that I was thinking about her. I'm glad thats over with now. It was really unhealthy.[/quote]

:shock: :shock: :shock:

How could you be called manofpeace. You should be called man of GREAT ANGER :evil: :evil:

my girl does the same sometimes actually but she doesnt get mad...she gets glad \:D/
 
[quote name='Weedy649'][quote name='manofpeace20']I had to lie to my ex about looking at porn all the time. She didn't even want me to masturbate, which is tough considering she wanted to wait until marriage and I'm a 22 year old virgin. Even when a really hot chick would appear on TV, she would touch me to make sure I didn't get a boner. If i did, I had to lie and say I wasn't paying attention to the TV, but that I was thinking about her. I'm glad thats over with now. It was really unhealthy.[/quote]

:shock: :shock: :shock:

How could you be called manofpeace. You should be called man of GREAT ANGER :evil: :evil:

my girl does the same sometimes actually but she doesnt get mad...she gets glad \:D/[/quote]

I can picture a Glad brand condom ad with those words. "Dont get mad when your 'bag' losses some of its contents. Get GLAD brand condoms."

Or

Get spill proof protection with Glad Brand condoms. You are guaranteed an airtight seal when you see white and red strip turn purple.
 
[quote name='Snake2715'][quote name='javeryh'][quote name='paz9x'][quote name='PhrostByte'][quote name='Grave_Addiction']I don't think my wife would be making fun of me for doing that. Instead, I would be sleeping on the couch for the next several months and probably would never hear the end of it. Ever.[/quote]

Why would you be sleeping on the couch? Does your wife wear the pants in the family?[/quote]

news flash, thats what becoming a wife means.....wearing the pants.[/quote]

I thought becoming a wife meant "nag, nag, nag until I tune you out" or "shut up and go cook dinner" but I guess I was mistaken...[/quote]


I've got it. Seriously..

javeryh wears the pants











But his wife picks them out for him.




ok ok bad joke.[/quote]

heh, I was kidding, of course... and I definitely wear the pants in the family - I just have no say in anything else. :p
 
[quote name='beerguy961'][quote name='javeryh'][quote name='zionoverfire']Wait javeryh, since when have you actually been home to watch porn? When I see your posts it seems like you spend every waking hour at your job.[/quote]

It was at 2:30 in the morning on Wednesday night (Thusday morning) right after I got home. I had to get rid of the stress somehow... :p[/quote]

I've had a few days like that... I have roommates, so that's like being married as far as jacking off goes...[/quote]



Ha ha ha thats the funniest thing I have sen in awhile! Nothjing like getting busted by yoiur roommate huh????? Thats I would assume very werid and uncomfortable.
 
[quote name='Mr_hockey66'][quote name='beerguy961'][quote name='javeryh'][quote name='zionoverfire']Wait javeryh, since when have you actually been home to watch porn? When I see your posts it seems like you spend every waking hour at your job.[/quote]

It was at 2:30 in the morning on Wednesday night (Thusday morning) right after I got home. I had to get rid of the stress somehow... :p[/quote]

I've had a few days like that... I have roommates, so that's like being married as far as jacking off goes...[/quote]



Ha ha ha thats the funniest thing I have sen in awhile! Nothjing like getting busted by yoiur roommate huh????? Thats I would assume very werid and uncomfortable.[/quote]

Happened to a friend of mine... his twin walked in on him not once... but twice... all because he forgot to lock the door. #-o
 
*snip*

Thats funny, because during sex I always take great pleasure in thinking, "This is somebody's daughter or sister or wife. Maybe all three if they're a real close-knit family, like in Chinatown. If I was feeling really perverse, I might consider that this might have once been somebody's son or brother. Amazing work, if thats the case."

Those long internal soliloquy's really help make it last.
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For this, epobirs, I salute you!
 
[quote name='legion_stxds'][quote name='Mr_hockey66'][quote name='beerguy961'][quote name='javeryh'][quote name='zionoverfire']Wait javeryh, since when have you actually been home to watch porn? When I see your posts it seems like you spend every waking hour at your job.[/quote]

It was at 2:30 in the morning on Wednesday night (Thusday morning) right after I got home. I had to get rid of the stress somehow... :p[/quote]

I've had a few days like that... I have roommates, so that's like being married as far as jacking off goes...[/quote]



Ha ha ha thats the funniest thing I have sen in awhile! Nothjing like getting busted by yoiur roommate huh????? Thats I would assume very werid and uncomfortable.[/quote]

Happened to a friend of mine... his twin walked in on him not once... but twice... all because he forgot to lock the door. #-o[/quote]

Well was it an identical twin? :wink:
 
[quote name='Snake2715'][quote name='Weedy649'][quote name='manofpeace20']I had to lie to my ex about looking at porn all the time. She didn't even want me to masturbate, which is tough considering she wanted to wait until marriage and I'm a 22 year old virgin. Even when a really hot chick would appear on TV, she would touch me to make sure I didn't get a boner. If i did, I had to lie and say I wasn't paying attention to the TV, but that I was thinking about her. I'm glad thats over with now. It was really unhealthy.[/quote]

:shock: :shock: :shock:

How could you be called manofpeace. You should be called man of GREAT ANGER :evil: :evil:

my girl does the same sometimes actually but she doesnt get mad...she gets glad \:D/[/quote]

I can picture a Glad brand condom ad with those words. "Dont get mad when your 'bag' losses some of its contents. Get GLAD brand condoms."

Or

Get spill proof protection with Glad Brand condoms. You are guaranteed an airtight seal when you see white and red strip turn purple.[/quote]

They also prevent freezer burn!
 
[quote name='zionoverfire'][quote name='legion_stxds'][quote name='Mr_hockey66'][quote name='beerguy961'][quote name='javeryh'][quote name='zionoverfire']Wait javeryh, since when have you actually been home to watch porn? When I see your posts it seems like you spend every waking hour at your job.[/quote]

It was at 2:30 in the morning on Wednesday night (Thusday morning) right after I got home. I had to get rid of the stress somehow... :p[/quote]

I've had a few days like that... I have roommates, so that's like being married as far as jacking off goes...[/quote]



Ha ha ha thats the funniest thing I have sen in awhile! Nothjing like getting busted by yoiur roommate huh????? Thats I would assume very werid and uncomfortable.[/quote]

Happened to a friend of mine... his twin walked in on him not once... but twice... all because he forgot to lock the door. #-o[/quote]

Well was it an identical twin? :wink:[/quote]

:lol: I would assume so... :wink:
 
[quote name='legion_stxds'][quote name='zionoverfire'][quote name='legion_stxds'][quote name='Mr_hockey66'][quote name='beerguy961'][quote name='javeryh'][quote name='zionoverfire']Wait javeryh, since when have you actually been home to watch porn? When I see your posts it seems like you spend every waking hour at your job.[/quote]

It was at 2:30 in the morning on Wednesday night (Thusday morning) right after I got home. I had to get rid of the stress somehow... :p[/quote]

I've had a few days like that... I have roommates, so that's like being married as far as jacking off goes...[/quote]



Ha ha ha thats the funniest thing I have sen in awhile! Nothjing like getting busted by yoiur roommate huh????? Thats I would assume very werid and uncomfortable.[/quote]

Happened to a friend of mine... his twin walked in on him not once... but twice... all because he forgot to lock the door. #-o[/quote]

Well was it an identical twin? :wink:[/quote]

:lol: I would assume so... :wink:[/quote]

Well then obviously it doesn't count. That's like catching yourself masturbating in a mirror. :wink:
 
[quote name='zionoverfire'][quote name='legion_stxds'][quote name='zionoverfire'][quote name='legion_stxds'][quote name='Mr_hockey66'][quote name='beerguy961'][quote name='javeryh'][quote name='zionoverfire']Wait javeryh, since when have you actually been home to watch porn? When I see your posts it seems like you spend every waking hour at your job.[/quote]

It was at 2:30 in the morning on Wednesday night (Thusday morning) right after I got home. I had to get rid of the stress somehow... :p[/quote]

I've had a few days like that... I have roommates, so that's like being married as far as jacking off goes...[/quote]



Ha ha ha thats the funniest thing I have sen in awhile! Nothjing like getting busted by yoiur roommate huh????? Thats I would assume very werid and uncomfortable.[/quote]

Happened to a friend of mine... his twin walked in on him not once... but twice... all because he forgot to lock the door. #-o[/quote]

Well was it an identical twin? :wink:[/quote]

:lol: I would assume so... :wink:[/quote]

Well then obviously it doesn't count. That's like catching yourself masturbating in a mirror. :wink:[/quote]

I know that feeling... *looks up to the ceiling mirror* :roll:
eusa_whistle.gif
 
Damn. I'm getting sloppy. I've been so tired lately and not focused enough to be sneaking around doing this shit. She almost caught me again but I was able to pull up my boxers just in time.... too bad I poked right out of the pee hole.... who am I kidding? Porno Pete strikes again!
 
[quote name='javeryh']Damn. I'm getting sloppy. I've been so tired lately and not focused enough to be sneaking around doing this shit. She almost caught me again but I was able to pull up my boxers just in time.... too bad I poked right out of the pee hole.... who am I kidding? Porno Pete strikes again![/QUOTE]

Too much information!!! Ughh.
 
There's nothing wrong with watching porn. We all have watched porn, I know she had and does, same with me...it's just porn >.>

She never had problems with me getting Maxim or Stuff (don't have time to read them tdue to my unhealthy obsession with FFXI >.>), she actually enjoys reading it too.

I don't see why it's such a problem with so many people.
 
[quote name='D4rkewolfe']There's nothing wrong with watching porn. We all have watched porn, I know she had and does, same with me...it's just porn >.>

She never had problems with me getting Maxim or Stuff (don't have time to read them tdue to my unhealthy obsession with FFXI >.>), she actually enjoys reading it too.

I don't see why it's such a problem with so many people.[/QUOTE]
higher authorities have condemned it, thusly making it taboo, probably aroung during communist times.
 
Uh... why do you have porn when you're wife is supposed to be uber hot? If she sees you floggin the dog she'll get the hint she isn't doing it enough herself.
 
[quote name='Kayden']Uh... why do you have porn when you're wife is supposed to be uber hot? If she sees you floggin the dog she'll get the hint she isn't doing it enough herself.[/QUOTE]

Um, I don't know what else to say other than... I'm a guy and I can't help myself. She was the one who ordered Playboy for me so there's always some porn laying around the house...
 
Well, you must remember that not all women are horny 24/7

Most guys libido are 24/7...I mean we think about sex just about every moment we are awake and even as we sleep.

So people watch porn? What masturbation is bad? By all means it is not a replacement to having someone you love be with you. Then again everyone thinks differently, all that matters in the end though is that you and your mate understand and love each other. Plain and simple...porn...magazines such as maxim and stuff...games....internet...none of that should matter or get in the way of a relationship.

People just need to talk.
 
[quote name='Kayden']Uh... why do you have porn when you're wife is supposed to be uber hot? If she sees you floggin the dog she'll get the hint she isn't doing it enough herself.[/QUOTE]

Well then...why do you have a 'here' file?
Women can't be around 24/7...most women (at least I'd hope it's most of us) expect a man to take care of himself when she's not around.
 
[quote name='Kayden']Uh... why do you have porn when you're wife is supposed to be uber hot? If she sees you floggin the dog she'll get the hint she isn't doing it enough herself.[/QUOTE]

Gamer's Girlfriend said:
Well then...why do you have a 'here' file?
Women can't be around 24/7...most women (at least I'd hope it's most of us) expect a man to take care of himself when she's not around.
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Does this mean that Kayden has an issue with his girlfriend, and/or doesn't think she's attractive enough?
DANNN DANNNN DANNNNNNN!!!
 
[quote name='D4rkewolfe']Well, you must remember that not all women are horny 24/7

Most guys libido are 24/7...I mean we think about sex just about every moment we are awake and even as we sleep.

So people watch porn? What masturbation is bad? By all means it is not a replacement to having someone you love be with you. Then again everyone thinks differently, all that matters in the end though is that you and your mate understand and love each other. Plain and simple...porn...magazines such as maxim and stuff...games....internet...none of that should matter or get in the way of a relationship.

People just need to talk.[/QUOTE]

I didn't say masturbation is bad... if it is... shit... I make Satan look like a choir boy.

He just says his wife is super hot.

Lastly... why did you end a post about masturbating with 'people just need to talk'? Shouldn't it have been "People just need to wank"?
 
[quote name='JSweeney']Does this mean that Kayden has an issue with his girlfriend, and/or doesn't think she's attractive enough?
DANNN DANNNN DANNNNNNN!!![/QUOTE]

I do have an issue... It's that she works too much... :joystick:
 
[quote name='Kayden']I didn't say masturbation is bad... if it is... shit... I make Satan look like a choir boy.

He just says his wife is super hot.

Lastly... why did you end a post about masturbating with 'people just need to talk'? Shouldn't it have been "People just need to wank"?[/QUOTE]

Silly Kayden...cause women can't wank. People need to talk...and then you can get to wank...sometimes you might need permission
 
[quote name='D4rkewolfe']Silly Kayden...cause women can't wank. People need to talk...and then you can get to wank...sometimes you might need permission[/QUOTE]

Pokey needs the permission of no man, woman or child! Err.... not that my penis is called Pokey... ... nor does it associate with children... OR MEN... except for me.
 
[quote name='cag1000']I would only marry a girl who would watch porn on the computer with me.[/QUOTE]

I'd only marry a girl who'd do a porn show on the computer with me.
 
[quote name='AngellicLulu']Where the shaq-fu do you find these girls? Haven't they ever heard of healthy sexual expression? Someone needs to sit down and have a talk with them. Seriously. It's completely ignorant.[/QUOTE]


best post ever
 
[quote name='Kayden']I do have an issue... It's that she works too much... :joystick:[/QUOTE]

umm...make lots of money so I don't have to work? Oh Wait I forgot that's what I'm suppose to do...hours should be getting shorter in a few weeks when the rest of the new restaurants open...and I really should sleep more...but that means no watching you na...oh ummm...public, yes...so anyways...

But seriously porn is just a tool to help the process along...if a girl gets to jealous over him jacking off while watching another girl...she should make some tapes of herself or them or something so he isn't watching 'another girl'

*don't deny him his toys unless you're willing to replace them*
 
[quote name='AngellicLulu']Eh, my BF has caught me a couple time, but we're pretty open about that stuff. I can't believe someone would get that uptight about something (referring to Grave_addiction).[/QUOTE]

I think it would be hot to catch your GF watching porn. But that's me.
 
My girlfriend doesnt mind if i comment on girls or watch porn. She comments on other guys all the time, and it doesnt bother me. For only being together almost half a year we have a very good and solid relationship. She's open for anything too ;) which is a plus :lol:
 
[quote name='manofpeace20']I had to lie to my ex about looking at porn all the time. She didn't even want me to masturbate, which is tough considering she wanted to wait until marriage and I'm a 22 year old virgin. Even when a really hot chick would appear on TV, she would touch me to make sure I didn't get a boner. If i did, I had to lie and say I wasn't paying attention to the TV, but that I was thinking about her. I'm glad thats over with now. It was really unhealthy.[/QUOTE]

Wait... she would grab it make sure you weren't getting a boner? Isn't that completely counterproductive?

And if she was so concerned about waiting till marriage, why was she so comfortable touching it? I'm guessing born-again virgin type? :shock:
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23']I just thought I'd bump this[/QUOTE]

What a let down. I expected it was Javeryh bumping it again because he was caught prawn fishing again.
 
[quote name='DuelLadyS']Wait... she would grab it make sure you weren't getting a boner? Isn't that completely counterproductive?

And if she was so concerned about waiting till marriage, why was she so comfortable touching it? I'm guessing born-again virgin type? :shock:[/QUOTE]

I would have tried to bang her and if she didn't like it I would say go fuck yourself.

Don't sell yourself out. Your hand has been doing just fine for you. You should have said to her, "I got my hand and some porn, PEACE."
 
[quote name='$hady']My cat caught me beating it to porn last night, I felt weird but still finished. I think he looks at me different now....... :cry:[/QUOTE]

if your cat commits suicide you know who to blame
 
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