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shipwreck

shipwreck

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These may have already been posted, but I couldn't immediately find a thread about them, so I thought they deserved a thread just in case.

Some new stills from the upcoming DOA movie were released. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves (and yes, that is "Joy" from "My Name Is Earl" as Tina). (Pictures linked from 360updates.com)



 
I might watch it. But only for laughs. This looks horrible. Although nothing can be as bad as Mortal Kombat 2. That makes Even Uwe Bolls movies look good in comparison.
 
[quote name='Ugamer_X']It's not a good sign if you're able to tell how shitty a film is going to be just from looking at pictures.[/QUOTE]

Well, considering the atmosphere of the game, a movie that would try to stay true to it would end up looking like a copycat of those late-nite Cinemax Shannon Tweed skin flicks; I think they've hit the nail on the head.

I predict a straight to VHS release!
 
For those interested, the guy playing Zach will also be in the upcoming Dungeon Seige movie done by Bolle. The imdb page for this movie is great. I guess "Diesel" of WWF fame is playing Bass.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Well, considering the atmosphere of the game, a movie that would try to stay true to it would end up looking like a copycat of those late-nite Cinemax Shannon Tweed skin flicks; I think they've hit the nail on the head.

I predict a straight to VHS release![/QUOTE]
That's the vibe I get from, it looks like the "story" part of a porn movie, but in this case there's no porn to look forward to.

This was a horrible movie idea.
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Well, considering the atmosphere of the game, a movie that would try to stay true to it would end up looking like a copycat of those late-nite Cinemax Shannon Tweed skin flicks; I think they've hit the nail on the head.

I predict a straight to VHS release![/QUOTE]


Funny enough I agree, really can't win no matter how the story is written, might as well make it hardcore fighting porn just to cut away all pretenses.
 
Okay, I seriously can not stop staring at these pictures. I think I'm going to make that one with them all holding swords my background.
 
[quote name='RedvsBlue']So I wonder if they do anything in the movie except have 1 fight scene after another?[/QUOTE]

it worked for mortal kombat...


but this looks just awful
 
They should've gotten porn stars to play the girls... none of the chest sizes are accurate. But this movie might be worth seeing just for Zach!:rofl:

But yeah, this will flop.
 
[quote name='j.elles']I might watch it. But only for laughs. This looks horrible. Although nothing can be as bad as Mortal Kombat 2. That makes Even Uwe Bolls movies look good in comparison.[/QUOTE]
Heh, I was about to saw something similar. I think this and Mortal Kombat Annihiliation will have a fight to the death for worst video game movie, but I haven't seen Uwe Boll's movies.

And I can't be the only person repulsed by Devon Aoki, right?
 
[quote name='iheartmetal']it worked for mortal kombat...


but this looks just awful[/QUOTE]


Oh good point, I had forgotten about MK.
 
Didn't Itagaki go all crazy when haxors took the clothes off the models in DOA Xtreme Volleyball, claiming DOA was his "baby," yet he lets this big pile crap show on the big screen?
 
The new movies for MK look good. Those will hopefully redeem the genre. Christopher Lambert.

Enough said as far as i'm concerned. The original Raiden. From mostly Highlander fame I believe here in America, is Returning.
 
[quote name='j.elles']The new movies for MK look good. Those will hopefully redeem the genre. Christopher Lambert.

Enough said as far as i'm concerned. The original Raiden. From mostly Highlander fame I believe here in America, is Returning.[/QUOTE]
Wait, there's a 3rd MK movie?
 
Hum... My God that looks like shit. I'm pretty sure cosplayers with a $20 budget could make something that looks better than that. With the exception of Bass, and he's not that great, all of the characters are very, very wrong. Something tells me this is going to make the Double Dragon movie look good...
 
is the chick in denim supposed to be Hitomi? why does zack have a green goatee? :lol:

someone's trying to beat uwe boll in badness. i hope there's a scene where energy meters are at the top ala house of the dead and the "reload" scene
 
[quote name='Apossum']is the chick in denim supposed to be Hitomi? why does zack have a green goatee? :lol:

someone's trying to beat uwe boll in badness. i hope there's a scene where energy meters are at the top ala house of the dead and the "reload" scene[/quote]

Nope, that's Tina in the denim (thus, why I said it was "Joy" from Earl).

As far as the director goes, it's the same guy who directed The Transporter. He also has been the martial arts choreographer for a lot of Jet Li movies (Lethal Weapon 4, Bulletproof Monk, Romeo Must Die, etc..)
 
[quote name='shipwreck']Nope, that's Tina in the denim (thus, why I said it was "Joy" from Earl).

As far as the director goes, it's the same guy who directed The Transporter. He also has been the martial arts choreographer for a lot of Jet Li movies (Lethal Weapon 4, Bulletproof Monk, Romeo Must Die, etc..)[/QUOTE]

heh, sorry, i just skipped your post to see how bad the pics were :lol:

I haven't seen any of those movies and I think the only jet li flick I've seen is Hero...but I assume this is a good thing. so maybe we'll have good fight scenes with hilariously bad acting and plot.
 
[quote name='Apossum']heh, sorry, i just skipped your post to see how bad the pics were :lol:

I haven't seen any of those movies and I think the only jet li flick I've seen is Hero...but I assume this is a good thing. so maybe we'll have good fight scenes with hilariously bad acting and plot.[/quote]

Oh, well he directed Hero as well (I haven't seen that one). He also did the fight sequences in X-Men.
 
I predict this will be the greatest cinematic achievement in the history of man. That bit about breaking a nail in the trailer? Sheer genius!
 
[quote name='shipwreck']Oh, well he directed Hero as well (I haven't seen that one). He also did the fight sequences in X-Men.[/quote]


Hero was directed by Zhang Yimou, who is not a fight choreographer.

This POS is being directed by Corey Yuen. He directed the first Transporter film, and has been the fight choreographer for Romeo Must Die, Lethal Weapon 4, Xmen, etc...

all this means is that the fight scenes should be good, but those costumes... lmao...

The best we can hope for is a good popcorn flick to get from netflicks.

Oh, and if you havent seen Hero yet, I highly reccomend it! :D
 
[quote name='Puffa469']Hero was directed by Zhang Yimou, who is not a fight choreographer.

This POS is being directed by Corey Yuen. He directed the first Transporter film, and has been the fight choreographer for Romeo Must Die, Lethal Weapon 4, Xmen, etc...

all this means is that the fight scenes should be good, but those costumes... lmao...

The best we can hope for is a good popcorn flick to get from netflicks.

Oh, and if you havent seen Hero yet, I highly reccomend it! :D[/quote]

Ah, it was a different Hero: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0136242/. I didn't bother clicking on it since I saw all the other Jet Li stuff in Yuen's profile. That was my mistake.
 
Being it is from Corey Yuen, I'll see it with a open mind. Hopefully it is good campy fun. But i still can't shake the feeling that this is going to be crap.
 
Mortal Kombat three is being made, it's not out, and with Christopher Lambert back in the seat as Raiden. As long as he's in most of the movie. It can't be bad. I love that guy.
 
I bet it'll be one of those "so bad it's good" movies. One of those where the critics will try to be humorous in their reviews and everyone will say it's crap, but if it ever airs on television people will sit down to watch it.
 
[quote name='erehwon']Are you sure those aren't pictures of some cosplayers?[/QUOTE]

No, cosplayers would make fun of this.
 
[quote name='Stice']I bet it'll be one of those "so bad it's good" movies. [/quote] Oh yeah, like Street Fighter?


Jeez, you can't make a Good Movie with Porn Stars! If this was a porno, I would be happy, but it might not be and that's when I get mad.

Also the game really isen't that good, so unless it was a CG movie I wouldn't expect anything good out of this.

Also, why do they all have katanas? Any why are they working together?!

At least they got Eddie Murphy to play Zak. (ROFL that guy does look like him. XD)
 
I think it's safe to say that it's about the right time someone starts a new magazine "Awful Game Movies", a monthly publication that will trash talk all the bad game movies that will come out. Seems like now there's enough game movies coming out to make this magazine possible.
 
[quote name='erehwon']Are you sure those aren't pictures of some cosplayers?[/quote]


LMAO, thats what I thought of when I first saw those pics.


I know a movie can be 'soo bad its good' but Im tired of having to use that rationalization for every game movie that comes out. For one I'd like a game movie to just be good. Oh well, theres always Silent Hill (crosses fingers).
 
[quote name='HumanSnatcher']Damn dude, you beat me to it! As soon as I closed the tab with the trailer on youtube, I saw your post. Heres to hoping its not like that crapfest called Charlies Angels...[/quote]


Don't worry it will be worse.
 
Watching Jamie Pressley in jean shorts and a bikini top is definitely worth 90 minutes of my time when this thing hits HBO.

EDIT: I just watched the trailer and it's not as horrid as those pictures would lead one to believe. It looks campy but I don't think it's trying to be serious. I'll watch it for free.
 
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