Dear CAGs, may I use your shoulder for a second..?

MegoW64

MegoW64

CAGiversary!
Ok, I know it gets annoying when people write topics asking for advice, but this is really the only website I know that my friend doesn't visit and I need some advice on what to do with that certain friend.

Here's the deal:

Back in April a good friend of mine was kicked out of the apartment that he was living in and since his parents had moved to Mississippi (we live in SC), he had no where else to go..and since I lived in a three bedroom apt with only one other roommate I let my friend come live with me.

Before he moved in I knew the trouble that he had caused for his prior roommate (who is also a good friend of mine), but I was trying to do the good friend thing by taking him in.

He knew moving in that bills at my apt were going to be more than what he paid at his prior apt, he still moved in and said that he would be fine.

That's where my problem is.

Every time it's time to pay bills he gives me a hard time and says that he wont have the money for them until a week later (sometimes longer than that), so that in turns puts me into a financial bind because I not only have to pay for my part, but now his part as well.

We got into a major argument over last months rent because he said that he simply would not have it and then asked if I expected him to just pull the money out of his ass and that I was being a horrible friend for not being understanding to the fact that he was broke (he did eventually end up paying me for most of it, but not all).

So now here money is due yet again for power/water/cable and he is telling me that he wont have it until next Thursday and that there is no point fighting with him about it because that will do me no good.

He also tells me that I cant kick him out because I have to give him a 30-day notice or he would sue me (same trick he pulled with his old roommate), so I told him to go ahead and sue me because he cant even pay $60 for power, how was he going to afford a lawyer.

I'm tired and stressed out with this guy who claims he's my friend but is clearly taking advantage of my friendship and generosity.

What would you guys do in this situation? I cant make him leave until July 1st and he still owes me money for past months that I was nice and just let him owe me.


How can I make him give me the money before he leaves? Should I go ahead and force him out?

I'm sorry for putting this here, but I honestly have no one else to turn to :(
 
Sounds like you might have to wait him out. It also sounds like if you want things done sooner than later, you'll have to kick him out ASAP and probably swallow anything he hasn't paid yet.

If there's any tricks to force him to pay, well that's where the rest of CAG comes to help. :cool:
 
I'm not one of CAGs legal scholars, so I'll just offer general advice. Considering how this fellow has insulted, used, and threatened you, I feel it would be best to end this relationship as soon as you acquire your due monies. He seems like a real loser.
 
[quote name='chasemurata']I'm not one of CAGs legal scholars, so I'll just offer general advice. Considering how this fellow has insulted, used, and threatened you, I feel it would be best to end this relationship as soon as you acquire your due monies. He seems like a real loser.[/QUOTE]


He is, and while i'm not trying to push myself off as a saint, here is another example of what he's done:

I had to wash my work clothes late one night and I asked him if he had anything in the washer or dryer - he told me that he had things in the washer, so he threw them into the dryer and I threw mine into the washer.

Well, I waited the hour for my clothes to wash and since it was like 3:30am, I figured he was asleep and since he was off the next day and I had to work at 9am I took his clothes out of the dryer (they were still kind of damp) and put mine in, and was just going to throw his back into the dryer in the morning...so after that I went to bed.

I woke up the next morning with my dripping wet clothes thrown onto my coffee table and his clothes back in the dryer.

His excuse for doing it? I need to learn to keep my hands off his stuff.

How ironic because he was using my washer and dryer.

Oh, and I also should add in that I was an hour and a half late for work that day because I had to wait for my clothes to dry.
 
Sounds like you might have to wait this out and possibly eat the cost of whatever rent/power bills he owes. Never ever involve family and friends with money unless you know you're get it back or can handle not ever seeing it again, it'll only ruin the relationship.
 
Get rid of your so called "friend". This guy is a loser who is doing nothing but using everyone he possibly can to survive. He won't sue you because it will take too much time and effort. Just be rid of him and never talk to him again.
 
Yah know... I'd have to go with Tough love. Renting ain't cheap (especially here) If they can't pay, I'd say kick him out. It's not cool to fool around with going into debt these days. I'll probably be moving out soon and I'm even scared of not being able to afford the rent because nothing is set in stone for an income.
 
Also, he's really immature because every time we get into a fight it's through either text messages or myspace messages...so here's the message that I just sent him:

I really need that money today, it can't wait until Thursday.

I don't have the money to cover it [mego note: I really do..but that's not his business] and I shouldn't have to.

If power is not paid tomorrow there will be a $75 late fee added on by the apartment people..who do you suppose will have to pay that??

Ever since you have moved in you have caused me nothing but grief and stress when its time for bills to be due.

I try and try to be a good friend and take it as a major insult when you question my friendship when I ask for money...but I'm the one that should be questioning your friendship.

Every time I say something to you, you just get defensive and become a jerk to me. It's not my fault you cant pay bills on time, so why do you always get angry at me when I expect money to be paid when it's due?

I told you while we were still in San Francisco [mego note: We went on vacation with a bunch of our friends about 2 weeks ago to SF] that I had gotten the power bill in and I'm sorry if you forgot, but I know for a fact that I told you.

I just cant do this anymore with you, I cant.

You as of right now still owe me $120, and I think it's for the best that you leave on July 1st because I have someone else who wants to move and and I know that they'll pay me on time without a fight.

I'm sorry that it's come to this, but I don't know what else to do.

..and before you come back with "OMAHGAWD I HAVE SO MANY BILLS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND" I do understand, and that's why I work my ass off at my job so I can pay all of my bills...and while I'm not saying you don't, all I'm saying is that I do what I must to get my bills paid on time every month. I don't have anyone to fall back on and that's what you're doing to me, you're using me to fall back on.

I'm not looking for a fight with this, I just wish you could see my point of it and be understanding.
 
First and foremost: You can't change the locks. Don't try.

Here's what you do. Cut off ALL utilities. Power, water, electric, gas, cable, phones, etc. If their not in his name this will be cake. How long will he want to live their without these services? In the meantime you shack up with a friend till he makes himself leave your appt. If he tries to fuck with you by damaging the place or stealing you can take pics of all the goods and condition of the appt before you perform this stunt and get his ass in small claims court should hell ensue.

This is the best, legal, route to go and it will work. No power or water sucks. If any utilities are provided for free by landlord ask them to cut it off till the situation blows over.

Any questions lemme know.
 
[quote name='JoeCamNet']Is he on the lease? No? He gets no 30 days.
Boot the sumbitch.[/quote]

This is what I was thinking. It sounds like he's a guest in your apartment, not an actual tennant. Therefore you have the right to kick him out. Call the cops to forcibly remove him if the situation has degraded enough.

Sounds like the best thing to do though is to give him a deadline and tell him he has to be out by August so he doesn't become a cancer.
 
Yeah if he is not on the lease I'm wondering if you could give him notice to get his stuff ready and let your apartment staff escort him off the property by saying he is squatting. I've noticed that people who put you in situations like this will just keep taking so there is no point in trying to salvage the friendship.
 
Yeah, 30 days and kick his ass back out on the street.
Lemme guess, he's a gay dude who spends all of his money on clothes, meth, and goes to bar 3-4x a week?

:lol: It just sounds like waaaay too many people I know...
 
Give him the 30 days notice as under the law of most jurisdictions he is considered a subtenant/sublease (such a lease does not have to be in writing) then kick his ass out. He is no friend of yours and there is no point in salvaging the friendship. So give him notice and start advertising that you have an extra room for rent.

Best of luck.
 
Quit being a puss, get your OTHER roommate (the good one) to help you, and kick his ass out. Put his stuff outside, and if he tries to start something, call the police. No more of this text messaging shit where you treat him like someone you're dating.

So you lost a "friend," ok, but he's not really a friend. Kick him out of YOUR place.
 
It's funny how you keep mentioning how he's a 'friend' when he treats you like shit. Give him notice now so that you can kick him out ASAP. And why the fcuk would you let him live w/ you when you knew this was the reason he got kicked out in the first place???? Just because you're a good 'friend' doesn't mean you've got to invite him into your home. A real good friend would've called him on his bullshit w/ his previous living arrangements and set some house rules (via a written & notarized contract). Remember, your house, your rules. Pain is the best teacher and some assholes don't learn until they're homeless and w/o friends (and sometimes that isn't enough either). You're not his parents so it's not your job to cover for him. If he can't afford to live there, it's time for him to move back home w/ mommy & daddy until they get tired of his ass as well. Call me a selfish prick if you want but you've always got to look out for yourself before you are able to look out for others. If you can't do the former, how the fcuk do you expect to do the latter?
 
Join the club, except replace friend with ex-fiance and add on the fact he uses my car because he doesn't have one of his own. Good luck with your situation.
 
What everyone else said. Get rid of him. He's not a friend, he's a person you know fairly well that is abusing you and then trying to make you feel bad for it. Excise this tumor now!
 
The only reason I let him in was I thought it would be a good thing to have another roommate to help with the bills and even with knowing the troubles that he had with the old roommate, he always paid his bills on time there (she kicked him out because he would trash their apt and never clean up after himself and then one weekend she was out of town he threw a massive party without telling her and everything in their apartment belonged to her).

I would go with the cutting off utilities route, but I have two dogs here and I cant leave them, plus my other roommate is here and I dont want him to have to suffer.

In retrospect I never should have let this guy move in, now I just cant wait to have him out.

Also, under SC law, even if someone isnt on the lease and as long as you can prove that you live somewhere you cant kick them out..however, he has no proof that he lives here and he doesnt even know our address, so at least I have a leg up on that.

Oh, and no he's not gay, but he is one of those prissy metrosexuals that was pampered by his mommy.
 
[quote name='MegoW64']
He also tells me that I cant kick him out because I have to give him a 30-day notice or he would sue me (same trick he pulled with his old roommate), so I told him to go ahead and sue me because he cant even pay $60 for power, how was he going to afford a lawyer.
[/QUOTE]

Ugh. Get him out of there asap and then take his ass to small claims court for any back rent/utilities he owes you.

I'm guessing you don't have anything in writing so the courts might not grant you anything but after that sort of BS I'd look into it.
 
[quote name='wubb']Ugh. Get him out of there asap and then take his ass to small claims court for any back rent/utilities he owes you.

I'm guessing you don't have anything in writing so the courts might not grant you anything but after that sort of BS I'd look into it.[/QUOTE]

Yeah, nothing in writing..but at this point i'd be willing to just give up the money he owes if he would just leave.
 
Have you tried calling the cops and asking what the laws in your area are for evicting a non-paying roomate? Let them know the story that you allowed the guy in so he wouldn't be homeless, but now he's not abiding by the verbal agreement you had and you need him out.


In less pressing news, I'm changing the title. It should be "Dear CAGs" not "Dear CAGers" CAG = Cheap A$$ Gamer. CAGers = Cheap A$$ Gamerers. A minor thing but it drives some of us crazy.
 
Does he have any receipts for money he paid to you for anything at all? Does he have any solid proof that he lives there? Does he get his mail there?

If you answered "no" to all three of those, he doesn't live there. Tell him to get his shit and get out or you're gonna have a yard sale with all of his crap and he's still out. Don't take his shit anymore. Boot the bastard!
 
[quote name='JolietJake']That CAGER thing was driving me nuts.[/QUOTE]

Yeah yeah...I wasnt in the best of moods when I originally wrote this out and wasn't really thinking
 
[quote name='MegoW64']He is, and while i'm not trying to push myself off as a saint, here is another example of what he's done:

I had to wash my work clothes late one night and I asked him if he had anything in the washer or dryer - he told me that he had things in the washer, so he threw them into the dryer and I threw mine into the washer.

Well, I waited the hour for my clothes to wash and since it was like 3:30am, I figured he was asleep and since he was off the next day and I had to work at 9am I took his clothes out of the dryer (they were still kind of damp) and put mine in, and was just going to throw his back into the dryer in the morning...so after that I went to bed.

I woke up the next morning with my dripping wet clothes thrown onto my coffee table and his clothes back in the dryer.

His excuse for doing it? I need to learn to keep my hands off his stuff.

How ironic because he was using my washer and dryer.

Oh, and I also should add in that I was an hour and a half late for work that day because I had to wait for my clothes to dry.[/quote]

Ok, I was going to suggest the "nice" route, until I read this. Kick him the fuck out. To be totally honest, I'm surprised you even kept him around after this incident. I would have told him to get out right then and there. He clearly has no respect for you, or what you've done for him. Sure, you may lose a "friend", but think of all the stress you'll endure by keeping him around, while he just continues to lie and steal from you.

It's his problem, not yours. Kick him out. If anything, it will be good for him.
 
I didn't read the other responses but if he's not on the lease, he has no rights. Change the locks and make him pay up to get his stuff. Or take the loss and give him his stuff back so long as he's out.
-G
 
[quote name='simplygriff']I didn't read the other responses but if he's not on the lease, he has no rights. Change the locks and make him pay up to get his stuff. Or take the loss and give him his stuff back so long as he's out.
-G[/QUOTE]


That's what I was going to do, have the locks changed and he could get his stuff once he paid, but i'm afraid that he'll break out a window or cause more trouble then it's worth.
 
[quote name='MegoW64']That's what I was going to do, have the locks changed and he could get his stuff once he paid, but i'm afraid that he'll break out a window or cause more trouble then it's worth.[/quote]

Then you call the cops on his ass and let them deal with it.

You just have to kick the guy out. Plain and Simple.
 
I'm not even going to read the rest of this thread. Here's your answer:

Kick him the fuck out. Tell your "friend" to get lost. You're not there to be his mommy and pay his bills. If he can't grow up and be responsible, he can be homeless. He has the balls to give you a guilt trip about kicking him out because he's broke? Give him one about being jobless, leaching off his friends, and being a lazy bastard who can't afford to live. Throw his shit out, change the locks, and tell him to go fuck himself. He's not a friend any longer. He can't sue you, because all that he has to prove that he's living there is his word. No bills in his name and no inclusion in the lease means he has no leg to stand on. Add to this the fact that if your landlord finds out that you have a tenant living there who is not on the lease, YOU could be found in violation of your lease agreement.

Like you said, this loser can't afford to pay utilty bills, how is he going to afford a lawyer.

[highlight]Man up, throw his shit out, and stop being his BITCH. PERIOD![/highlight]
 
Ahem... may I use your shoulder?

Thanks!

I was recently modded for a post in the "so, I'm not trying to worry about this too much, but" thread.

Why?

Because I made a comment suggesting that "mission trips" were absurd.

Yet, in most of these posts, there are far more radical things being said to other members.
Even in the post where I was modded, another member made a statement involving the act of jerking off and fishing while trying not to cry.

It just baffles me how any mentioning of organized religion is quickly addressed and given the finger of death, yet people can post personal attacks against other people's stupidity or shared interests/experiences. Besides, isn't organized religion the new ass of every joke?!

This is not an open forum... apparently. Although you can tell someone to take a dump on the chest of a four-year-old, any mentionings of religion will be struck down by the hand of Mod.

It's a sad day CAG... a sad day.

Oh... and f*ck those who shit on my OTT. Of all the shit on this site, there's bound to be a similar posting. Christ (hehe), some of you motherf*ckers post a reply in one thread then turn around and turn it into a new topic. WTF?!

See... this is the kind of shit that happens when a site is dominated by pre-pubescent tossers.

In the wise words of the Queers... "this place sucks."

Eat a dick.
 
[quote name='Sofa King Kool']Ok, I was going to suggest the "nice" route, until I read this. Kick him the fuck out.[/QUOTE]Amen. Just reading that post made me furious.
 
[quote name='Sofa King Kool']Ok, I was going to suggest the "nice" route, until I read this. Kick him the fuck out. To be totally honest, I'm surprised you even kept him around after this incident. I would have told him to get out right then and there. He clearly has no respect for you, or what you've done for him. Sure, you may lose a "friend", but think of all the stress you'll endure by keeping him around, while he just continues to lie and steal from you.

It's his problem, not yours. Kick him out. If anything, it will be good for him.[/quote]

How did it take this long for a reply like this to appear?

This type of action means that the topic of this thread shouldn't even have to be asked. Dicks don't deserve friends or pity.

I'm glad I was never in a position where I had to have roommates. I hate people.
 
Wait till he leaves and change the locks asap... if you have to plan ahead with the landlord...

Or buy an exterior door lock and change it over yourself... once hes out change it back to the landlords lock. Then tell the landlord you need a new lock put in as someone stole your key.

Whatever just change the locks and call it a night. Get some pictures of the place and buy renters insurance if you dont have it... its like 10 a month normally.
 
To follow up Snake, most landlords won't mind if you changed the locks as long as you give them a copy and explain that you didn't feel safe with the old lock. Some landlords will take forever to change a lock but if you do it at your cost and give them the new key, they usually won't give a shit.
 
Some people will never learn until they get a good beating. Imagine, you'd be doing yourself and everyone this guy crosses paths with a favor.
 
unless he signed onto the lease hes not legally a tennant so he cant sue you. if he owes you money be sure to get some form of written proof of it and if you want him out call the cops and have him removed. its one thing to be broke and be helped by someone but knowing what he was like why did you think itd be any diff if he was living with you ? also why is he having problems with money is it due to poor budgeting or does he waste money on stuff or is his job one of thoese with odd pay periods?
 
[quote name='DarkNessBear']Kill him.[/QUOTE]

Then you can sell his organs to make up the money he owes you! BRILLIANT!
 
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