Final Fantasy XII Potion Review

CheapyD

CheapyD

Head Cheap Ass
Staff member
Feedback
14 (100%)
finalfantasypotion.jpg


While I was at Yodoboshi Camera (Shinjuku) today trying to complete my 500 yen ($4.25) Robocop Trilogy figure collection, I noticed the Final Fantasy XII Potions on display at the checkout counter. Priced at 200 yen ($1.70) for a measly 120ml (4oz), I wasn't exactly an interested buyer, but I figured at least I could let my fellow CAGs know if it's any good or not.

Review:
Despite the fact that this stuff won't cure you of anything, the Final Fantasy XII Potion must be the most mediciny tasting beverage on the planet. In comparison, Robitussin is a delicious exotic cocktail and Pepto Bismol tastes like a Root Beer Float. The FFXII Potion tastes so bad, you would think it would either get you incredibly drunk or cure Cancer. Being that it does neither makes me wonder why this drink exists.

I can not comprehend how the fine folks at the Suntory Group put such a foul tasting beverage on the market. It's almost as if they are daring Final Fantasy fans to drink it. My guess is that the meetings on the Final Fantasy XII Potion went something like this (translated from Japanese):

Executive A: "Man, those kids sure are crazy about that Final Fantasy."

Executive B: "Yeah, I bet it doesn't even matter what our drink tastes like. If it has a Final Fantasy label on it, it will sell faster than a 14 year old school girl's soiled panties."

Executive A: "Despite the fact that I've been huffing glue all day, I think I've just had a brilliant idea. Let's bottle up some donkey piss and mix it with toxic waste."

Executive B: "Sounds like a plan. Got any of that glue left?"
 
I'm sure he gained -10 hp. You didn't drink all of it did you Cheapy (no wonder it's 4 oz)?

Cheapy have you ever had those holiday Jones Sodas? The ones that are flavored after turkey & gravy, cranberry sauce, brussel sprouts, corn on the cob, salmon, etc. If you have, do they compare to the blue bile that you just put in your mouth?
 
[quote name='FurryCurry']I'm sure he gained -10 hp. You didn't drink all of it did you Cheapy (no wonder it's 4 oz)?

Cheapy have you ever had those holiday Jones Sodas? The ones that are flavored after turkey & gravy, cranberry sauce, brussel sprouts, corn on the cob, salmon, etc. If you have, do they compare to the blue bile that you just put in your mouth?[/QUOTE]

:rofl:

I heard those holiday Jones Sodas is one of the worst drinks of all time.Not even a bum will drink that crap
 
Way to take one for the team, Cheapy! Now go eat some dirt to get the taste of that foul elixer outta your mouth. :)
 
I just want the bottle it looks cool. Unfortunately, the only place you can get it at the time is at play-asia for 13$ plus 6$ shipping. Only if Cheapy can hook me up.
 
I was worried that you might have been poisoned Cheapy so I did some googling to see if I could find what the ingredients are. All I learned is that the potion contains 10 "secret herbs" and is being marketed as an energy drink. I also came across this TV commercial.


 
[quote name='CheapyD']While I was at Yodoboshi Camera (Shinjuku) today trying to complete my 500 yen ($4.25) Robocop Trilogy figure collection, [/QUOTE]

Wow, thats an expensive capsule toy, but badass enough to be worth it. Most expensive I saw was 2 bucks. Isn't there anywhere to just buy the complete set so you don't have to take the risk with the capsule machine?
 
[quote name='FurryCurry']Cheapy have you ever had those holiday Jones Sodas? The ones that are flavored after turkey & gravy, cranberry sauce, brussel sprouts, corn on the cob, salmon, etc. If you have, do they compare to the blue bile that you just put in your mouth?[/quote] No, but they sound nasty.


[quote name='SpottedNigel']Would it mix well with anything? Or just bear piss?[/quote] It tastes like its already been mixed with piss.

[quote name='Heyricochet']Wow, thats an expensive capsule toy, but badass enough to be worth it. Most expensive I saw was 2 bucks. Isn't there anywhere to just buy the complete set so you don't have to take the risk with the capsule machine?[/quote] The Robocop figures are not capsule toys. They come in a box and are known as "One Coin Figures", with that "one coin" being 500 yen. They are larger and more detailed than capsule toys. However, you still have to get lucky to get the complete set as the boxes are not marked. There is probably some place you can go to pay a premium and get the complete set, but I do not know where that would be.

I actually got the same 3 figures that I bought the first time I went Roboshopping. It's the Mappy syndrome all over again!
 
...I must have those figures. Leave it to the japanese to show love to something America so neglects.

any interest in selling your dupes?

edit: cheapyd you actually linked to a site that sells the set for about 55 usd in your original post.
 
How much would it cost me to have you ship me a box of thous? Most site that are selling them are really ripping off people by chargeing them $20+ per bottle.
 
*CheapyD moves to Ja-Pan!*

*CheapyD has been Zombified!*

*CheapyD uses Potion x1!*

*CheapyD takes 9999 damage!*

Game Over
 
[quote name='youruglyclone']any interest in selling your dupes?

edit: cheapyd you actually linked to a site that sells the set for about 55 usd in your original post.[/quote]Sorry, the dupes are already spoken for.
I'm pretty sure that site is selling a whole case of them.
 
Ten bucks says someone will have one of those bottles attached to their hip as some FF cos-play costume. Also since Japan loves Capsule toys so much wouldn't they have some kind of trading area or perhaps a website?
 
Those Capsule toys and figures are really neat. When I was in Hong Kong a small shopping center has a whole floor selling those kinds of things.
 
I really, really, really want one or two of those bottles.

I just wonder how i'd get the taste of that shit out of there.
 
actually the cheapest way to get one of these is by the following:

1. Eat a large pile of blue colored sand

2. Wait, and take a crap

3. Grab your blue crap and heat it at 500 degrees for a fee minutes

4. Pull out crap, let cool

5. Wait an hour and, voila! Poition bottle much joy!
 
Am I the only one that thinks thats a scary color blue for a drink to be?

If someone handed me a glass of that I would throw it back into there face.
 
[quote name='Graystone']Am I the only one that thinks thats a scary color blue for a drink to be?

If someone handed me a glass of that I would throw it back into there face.[/QUOTE]

As you burn their eyes and scar their face. That and I bet it's an amazing metal cleaner that removes calcium, rust, and lim buildup!
 
[quote name='CheapyD']Nice one radjago! You make that yourself?[/QUOTE]
Yeah, just a little quick and dirty photoshoppery.
 
The stuff probably goes great with other Asian delacasies like:
Shark Brain and Tiger Testicles.

"GIVE YOU POTENT! YOU HARD LIKE IRON!"

:p
 
Maybe the blue color and piss taste come from the ammonia in windex. Hmm... I wonder what an ether would taste like.
 
I ordered some of the premium bottles a little while back, still waiting for them to arrive. Now I'm not sure I want to drink them. :(
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
bread's done
Back
Top