First Gears Of War Review! Thanks Blender!

shipwreck

shipwreck

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Libe Goad of Blender beats everyone to the punch and says Gears of War is worthy of the hype.

[quote name='Libe Goad of Blender']Humans check in, but they don't check out. That might very well be the motto of the giant insect army currently threatening the future of mankind. The bad bugs in question are part of the evil Locust Horde, determined to eradicate all those pesky people living on the planet's surface once and for all, with only a handful of tough-guy military types standing in the way. It may sound like your standard sci-fi run-and-gun shooter, but fan boys have been buzzing about this one since last year, making it the most hotly anticipated 360 game this side of Halo 3.

And it's easy to see why. This third-person tactical shooter pits players and their computer-controlled comrades against massive armies of Starship Troopers-caliber crawly things in exquisitely rendered ruined cities. Burly soldiers fire off infinite rounds of ammo while ducking behind rubble just long enough to keep head and neck firmly connected. Xbox Live was made for this kind of raucous combat action, and as many as eight players can split up into human and locust teams for fast-paced online death matches.

All this mayhem springs from part game savant/part snot-nosed punk Cliff Bleszinski, one of the guys behind the popular Unreal shoot-'em-up series. CliffyB, as he's known in gaming circles, is one of the few name-brand designers (John Carmack, Will Wright are two others) who can sell a game based on reputation alone. Not that Gears of War needs any help -- we're sold just based on the army of man-size bugs that would make even the biggest New York cockroach run for cover.

Final Verdict: 4 Stars out of 5[/quote]

Two things I've learned from this review:

1. I need a name like Libe Goad to get into the game review industry.
2. Hyphens should be used-wherever-you-can-put-them-in-when-describing-stuff-vaguely.

Game looks great, but I was hoping for more than a 4 out of 5. What happened CliffyB?!?!
 
I get the feeling that this "review" is based solely from E3 impressions.
Too bad we can't switch the first letter of his first and last names...oh wait, we can: Gibe Load.
 
I'm trying to resist, but it's useless. The guy's hyphen usage is accurate. Surprising, because most of the time, writers botch that. But it's perfect AP style.
 
Maxim and Blender are known for reviewing unfinished software and giving good reviews to hyped games, or possibly even getting a pay off for high scores...
 
Yeah I really doubt I would trust this review granted I do think the game will get good reviews , but I wouldn't trust blender magazine.
 
I like my reviews to be longer than 3 paragraphs and ahve actualy information on games... "XBOX Live has 2 teams and deathmatch" NO WAI!
 
Little things like this are pretty much advertisement for games. They never actually review the game, just summarize the plot. I really would be surprised if game companies didn't pay for these "reviews" in pop magazines.
 
My blender says "bwizzzzzzzzzzzglubgrugflinkpwakbwizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz". Roughly translates to "Do not want". It is like a limp dick on a fingerless man at an orgy. fucking useless with point.
 
Yeah, I hate their "reviews". They're usually months in advance and it's painfully obvious that they've never even played the game. They do nothing more than check out an article on IGN or Gamespot and post impressions based on the images.
 
I can't believe anyone would think this is a review. Obviously he's just rating the hype as a preview.

Damn people, if Microsoft has Gears of War done this early, and are just sitting on it, they would be the dumbest company on the planet.
 
LMAO at anyone believe any review they read in Blender/Maxim/Stuff magazine. They so obviously never even play the games, there was a Zelda: TP review a long tiem ago in one of thsoe mags back when it was supposed to come out on the Gamecube, and no one even had played a demo of it at that point.
 
[quote name='thrustbucket']I can't believe anyone would think this is a review. Obviously he's just rating the hype as a preview.

Damn people, if Microsoft has Gears of War done this early, and are just sitting on it, they would be the dumbest company on the planet.[/quote]

If this guy was among the first to handle a finished copy of the game prior to release date, Microsoft would be dumb.
 
There is nothing in that review thatt would make me think he has come any closer to the game then a tv playing an E3 demo of it. If he claims he actually played it I would call shenanigans.
 
[quote name='Rozz']Maxim and Blender are known for reviewing unfinished software and giving good reviews to hyped games, or possibly even getting a pay off for high scores...[/QUOTE]

Along with Stuff & FHM as well. They review stuff just based off videos on the net. I don't believe anyone at any of these 4 mags plays any games for review what-so-ever.
 
All right, here's the deal: Many long-lead magazines publish reviews like this. It's obvious the writer never got the final version -- or likely any type of playable of his/her own -- before writing that. I'm sure it was written early this summer based on E3 impressions.

When you look at reviews in mainstream mags (rather than enthusiast pubs like Game Informer and EGM), they're more to let people know what games are about than giving true gamers the whole story. I've written my share of these; that's just how they roll. We "real" gamers know better than to take them seriously.
 
I bought six copies of Superman on N64 due to Mr. Loads inept reviewing skillz back in the day.
I sir, will wait for a more reputable source!
 
[quote name='Scorch']Yeah, I hate their "reviews". They're usually months in advance and it's painfully obvious that they've never even played the game. They do nothing more than check out an article on IGN or Gamespot and post impressions based on the images.[/QUOTE]
About what I was gonna say. They pick out hyped games that they think will either suck or be cool and write, not a review, but more of a preview and then score it.

It's likely they've never even played 10 seconds of the actual game.
 
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