D
Dick Tracy
Guest
Last week was the start of my fall college semester. And on Tuesday, I had my first Stagecraft class. Set building, lighting and all of that shit. Let me start off by saying theatre people are terrifying. ANYTHING triggers them into breaking out in obscure song and dance... I'm there for film / enrichment purposes... but there are people in there who were in there last semester and the semester before.
Anyway, I walk into the first class 5 - 10 minutes late. The teacher stops talking to the class and turns to me with his arms wide open and he says my name really loud. I've had him before. Cool guy. Looks like a dwarf from Dungeons & Dragons, or something. Him and I talk for a minute or so in front of the class. I hear girl giggling, so I take a quick glance at the audience. I catch a few flirty, girly smiles and giggles, mostly from the shirt I was wearing -- which is the yellow zig-zag shirt that Charlie Brown wears in the Peanuts comic strip.
I take a seat in the back of the class, as I am a rebel. I take off my Ray Ban Wayfarer sunglasses, as I am a rebel, to do a brief inventory of the students. I think we all do this... see if we know anybody, check out the girls and so on. I gaze into the exposed underwear of the girl leaning forward in front of me for what seemed to be six and a half years. I noticed her nicely developed child-baring hips... and I slowly slipped into primal-mode and actually had vivid thoughts and desires of putting a child inside of those hips.
Then I look to my right, where the giggle girls were. Scan over them. Look at one girl, look at the one behind her and so on. And this is where you can start reading if you're too lazy to read long posts. The last girl I look at... my exgirlfriend who did me terribly wrong. "Are you
ing serious!?", my brain yelled. In fact, I'm still not positive if I said that out loud or not. I look away towards the front of the class in order to gather my thoughts and to check whether or not if I was dreaming or not. I felt a quick surge of anxiety, as I haven't seen her in person for quite some time. I didn't talk to her for a year and a half straight after the day she did me dirty -- and trust me, what she did was one of those things that put a man over the edge, regardless how hardass they claim to be.
After I realized what was going on, I smiled like the Grinch. I'd like to think I know her fairly well, and I was getting a proverbial hard-on from how grueling it must have been to see me step foot in that classroom door.
I take another glance at her, to see what she looked like... and, wow; Heaven Smiles Upon Me. Simply put, she looked positively HIV positive. Very pale, blotchy skin and bags around her eyes. When I discovered this, I let out a gasping Macaulay Culkin-like "Whoa...", circa-Home Alone. I'm not trying to brag or sound like a savage or anything (I think I did a good job of the savage talk with the child-baring hips comment earlier)... but she was one foxy dame. Imagine a young Charlize Theron. But, now, imagine an older, blonde Crypt Keeper. I'd like to think that I had something to do with this new AIDS look... but I know that isn't so. Her poor decision making had all to do with it, however, which doubled the size of proverbial hard-on.
A few months ago, via-email, she told me that she developed anxiety problems recently and wish she had friends. Apparently, she lost all of her friends. And in the same breath, she was speaking about how "great" her life was. She's ain' wreck...
Once class ended, I started walking towards her, looking past her and smiling... as I got closer, she smiled and stopped dead in her tracks to talk, but I said "excuse me", stepped to the side and b-lined it past her to talk to the teacher.
After the class pretty much cleared out, I walked out of the classroom door and turned left down the hallway, towards the parking lot. Then I realized I had to take a squirt, so I spun on my heel to turn right, towards the restrooms. Imagine a Gene Wilder Willy Wonka spin, or something to that effect. As soon as I spin, BAM!; there she is, walking towards me, towards the parking lot. Eye contact was made. "Hey!", I said. "Hi!", she replies. "How's it goin'?", I asked. "Good!", she answered. "You?" "Superb!", I answered. Right around when I asked how she was doing, she turned around to stop and talk, but I had my back to her, flying down the hallway away from her. Did I do it to be a dick or because I had to piss? I'll never know for sure. Either choice was instinct.
Sure, I may be bitter and mildly screwed the up... but at least I know God and fate are on my side. I'm totally over her and all... but I can never get over karma. 
Sorry for the long, pointless tale, but has anyone else encountered stuff like this? I like stories. :O
Anyway, I walk into the first class 5 - 10 minutes late. The teacher stops talking to the class and turns to me with his arms wide open and he says my name really loud. I've had him before. Cool guy. Looks like a dwarf from Dungeons & Dragons, or something. Him and I talk for a minute or so in front of the class. I hear girl giggling, so I take a quick glance at the audience. I catch a few flirty, girly smiles and giggles, mostly from the shirt I was wearing -- which is the yellow zig-zag shirt that Charlie Brown wears in the Peanuts comic strip.
I take a seat in the back of the class, as I am a rebel. I take off my Ray Ban Wayfarer sunglasses, as I am a rebel, to do a brief inventory of the students. I think we all do this... see if we know anybody, check out the girls and so on. I gaze into the exposed underwear of the girl leaning forward in front of me for what seemed to be six and a half years. I noticed her nicely developed child-baring hips... and I slowly slipped into primal-mode and actually had vivid thoughts and desires of putting a child inside of those hips.
Then I look to my right, where the giggle girls were. Scan over them. Look at one girl, look at the one behind her and so on. And this is where you can start reading if you're too lazy to read long posts. The last girl I look at... my exgirlfriend who did me terribly wrong. "Are you
ing serious!?", my brain yelled. In fact, I'm still not positive if I said that out loud or not. I look away towards the front of the class in order to gather my thoughts and to check whether or not if I was dreaming or not. I felt a quick surge of anxiety, as I haven't seen her in person for quite some time. I didn't talk to her for a year and a half straight after the day she did me dirty -- and trust me, what she did was one of those things that put a man over the edge, regardless how hardass they claim to be.After I realized what was going on, I smiled like the Grinch. I'd like to think I know her fairly well, and I was getting a proverbial hard-on from how grueling it must have been to see me step foot in that classroom door.
I take another glance at her, to see what she looked like... and, wow; Heaven Smiles Upon Me. Simply put, she looked positively HIV positive. Very pale, blotchy skin and bags around her eyes. When I discovered this, I let out a gasping Macaulay Culkin-like "Whoa...", circa-Home Alone. I'm not trying to brag or sound like a savage or anything (I think I did a good job of the savage talk with the child-baring hips comment earlier)... but she was one foxy dame. Imagine a young Charlize Theron. But, now, imagine an older, blonde Crypt Keeper. I'd like to think that I had something to do with this new AIDS look... but I know that isn't so. Her poor decision making had all to do with it, however, which doubled the size of proverbial hard-on.
A few months ago, via-email, she told me that she developed anxiety problems recently and wish she had friends. Apparently, she lost all of her friends. And in the same breath, she was speaking about how "great" her life was. She's a
in' wreck...Once class ended, I started walking towards her, looking past her and smiling... as I got closer, she smiled and stopped dead in her tracks to talk, but I said "excuse me", stepped to the side and b-lined it past her to talk to the teacher.
After the class pretty much cleared out, I walked out of the classroom door and turned left down the hallway, towards the parking lot. Then I realized I had to take a squirt, so I spun on my heel to turn right, towards the restrooms. Imagine a Gene Wilder Willy Wonka spin, or something to that effect. As soon as I spin, BAM!; there she is, walking towards me, towards the parking lot. Eye contact was made. "Hey!", I said. "Hi!", she replies. "How's it goin'?", I asked. "Good!", she answered. "You?" "Superb!", I answered. Right around when I asked how she was doing, she turned around to stop and talk, but I had my back to her, flying down the hallway away from her. Did I do it to be a dick or because I had to piss? I'll never know for sure. Either choice was instinct.
Sure, I may be bitter and mildly screwed the
up... but at least I know God and fate are on my side. I'm totally over her and all... but I can never get over karma. Sorry for the long, pointless tale, but has anyone else encountered stuff like this? I like stories. :O
