How should I punish my roommates?

Tromack

Tromack

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Ok, so I just got back to my apartment after being gone for 2 months. I open up the door to find what? A very, very strong smell of gas. I instantly go check the oven and stove tops to find nothing wrong. I decide that I definitely don't want to go downstairs and call up the gas company. The guy comes, finds the leak down in the basement, and fixes it. Because I am a tenant, I am not allowed to authorize him to fix anything, so I'm without hot water until my landlord gets on this (which he better do fucking soon).

Anyway, after moving all my stuff back in. I see a note that my roommates left for me. They first ask me to send off the rent, which is something I would have done so that's cool. The second is they tell me that I should pay all of the next months utilities because they have been paying them all summer. You know why I haven't been paying the utilites? I haven't fucking been here. I mean, if I'm not using any gas or electricity because I'm two states over, I don't see why I should pay for it. They are lucky that I payed rent for the 2 months I was gone.

So, at the end of the note, they say that they smelled a gas leak and I should do something about it. This note is 6 days old. If they noticed a gas leak, they should have done something immediately. I mean, why risk blowing up our fucking apartment by not making a 5 minute call, and waiting 20 minutes for some guy to show up. So, I am pissed that they were so stupid and short-sighted. What should I do to punish them? And thanks for reading my rant.
 
[quote name='Mr Unoriginal']Obviously you jack off on their pillows.[/QUOTE]
Masturbation does indeed appear to be the best solution in this case.

But in all seriously, WTF. That's pretty messed up. Maybe you should make them watch Fight Club and see what could've happened to your apartment and clever furniture (assuming you have some).
 
Leave them a note saying your not paying all the utilities for next month, that they should have had the leak checked on when they smelled it, and thank them for the nice welcome home treatment. Sounds like you should look for new roommates too.

Hope everything works out ok for you. I wouldn't want to be in your shoes cause it sounds like a bad situation.
 
I think you should still pay for a portion of the utilites, just like you still paid your portion of the rent. You cant go up to the phone/electric company or your landlord and say "I'm not paying me bills for the next few months cause I'm going out of state" if you lived on your own. Remember these are your friends. Don't let something as stupid as maybe $100 worth of bills get you at each others throats. As for the gas leak, call them dumbasses and be done with it. :D
 
Don't do anything to piss off your roommates unless they're leaving anyway. It will turn into a miserable experience for you, too. Just grin and bear it. There's not much to be done for their stupidity.
 
[quote name='rodeojones903']I think you should still pay for a portion of the utilites, just like you still paid your portion of the rent. You cant go up to the phone/electric company or your landlord and say "I'm not paying me bills for the next few months cause I'm going out of state" if you lived on your own. Remember these are your friends. Don't let something as stupid as maybe $100 worth of bills get you at each others throats. As for the gas leak, call them dumbasses and be done with it. :D[/QUOTE]

Well, rent still needed to get paid no matter what. But utilities, they only charge you what you use. If I wasn't there, they should have used proportionally less on the utiliites than when I was there. I'm sure the AC doesn't care too much, but lights/videogames/computer certainly would have made big change, and I certainly didn't cook or use hot water so gas should certainly change. They should have only paid maybe $5 more on utilities per person than they normally would have. I payed rent because the landlord doesn't care if there are only 2 as opposed to three people. I didn't pay utilities because I'm not giving them money for something we aren't being charged for.

edit- and I'm not really pissed off about the bills. I would have been perfectly fine for it had they done something about the gas leak. But since they did that, I'm just pissed at them in general, so all minor quips get lumped into the anger.
 
[quote name='Mr Unoriginal']Obviously you jack off on their pillows.[/QUOTE]

So far, I'm liking yours the best. It's subtle, gives me satisfaction, and it won't hurt anyone.
 
So if they would only pay $5 more per person and there are 3 people total, your part of the bills is $10? Just give em the money man. Like E-B-Z said, its not worth it.
 
Do what I did when my fat roommate ruined the interior of my truck... I jerked off in his shampoo (we had seperate bathrooms). To add to the enjoyment, have a very trustworthy friend (who knows what you did) ask him what he's doing different with his hair. As a side note, my roommate used Pantene Pro-V... the one with the added protein. I still laugh to this day... fat bastard with the shiny hair.

Either that or clean his toilet with his toothbrush... maybe that's why I live alone now.
 
If you guys take turns making dinner for everyone, here's a trick I watched someone do in college: prepare their meal with Ex-Lax mixed in the food. Don't brag about it later, though, if you want to avoid a war.
 
The next time you make mashed taters put cotton balls in them if you use a electric mixer to mix them up. It's pretty sick eating cotton and taters I've tried it.
 
[quote name='snotknocker']I'd just say "you guys are fucking idiots for not doing something about the gas leak" then let it die.[/QUOTE]

Good idea there. But I also making your own gas leak (from your ass) and tell that they cant do shit that one either. Funk the place up for one whole day. The day before eat tacos, white castles, beans.

About the electric bills and such just talk calmly about and they will just understand and stay thats cool.
 
[quote name='snotknocker']I'd just say "you guys are fucking idiots for not doing something about the gas leak" then let it die.[/QUOTE]

Honestly, that's what I'm going to do. I was just so pissed and wanted to rant. I thought the vindiction part would attract a lot of people to the thread, so that's why I went with it.
 
you get them tanked. while they are tanked you put make up all over them,put them in some fucked up situations. then you record it all and give us the link and all there freinds the link.
 
[quote name='Tromack']Well, rent still needed to get paid no matter what. But utilities, they only charge you what you use. If I wasn't there, they should have used proportionally less on the utiliites than when I was there. I'm sure the AC doesn't care too much, but lights/videogames/computer certainly would have made big change, and I certainly didn't cook or use hot water so gas should certainly change. They should have only paid maybe $5 more on utilities per person than they normally would have. I payed rent because the landlord doesn't care if there are only 2 as opposed to three people. I didn't pay utilities because I'm not giving them money for something we aren't being charged for.

edit- and I'm not really pissed off about the bills. I would have been perfectly fine for it had they done something about the gas leak. But since they did that, I'm just pissed at them in general, so all minor quips get lumped into the anger.[/QUOTE]

I agree only to a certain extent. You should of paid for the phone bill and the dsl since the dsl and phone bill is contracted. But with PG & E, you shouldn't have to pay for it because you were not there. I been through this situation before.
 
tell them you have some fine Amontillado in the cellar...lead them down there and put them in the shackles and put up a brick wall right in front of them. Before you put the last brick in, take a shit in a plastic bag and then throw it in there with them.
Seal the last brick, forget about them for the next 50 years.
 
[quote name='beguile']I agree only to a certain extent. You should of paid for the phone bill and the dsl since the dsl and phone bill is contracted. But with PG & E, you shouldn't have to pay for it because you were not there. I been through this situation before.[/QUOTE]

Well, I pay the phone bill in full always, and continued to pay while I was gone. I didn't pay for cable, which perhaps I should have. But I figured paying the entirety of phone bill that I wasn't using covered my ass.
 
Make them a plate of cookies :)

*First whip up some cookie dough and jerk off into the dough (Take a polaroid picture of this)

*Mix up the dough & bake the cookies

*Arrange the cookies beautifully on a plate (concealing the polaroid picture beneath)

*Leave the cookies on the table with a thank you note for all of their help and support

*Secretly record the reaction when they reach the bottom of the plate and see a certain photo

*Smile

cookies.jpg


:)
 
If they are going to be in the apartment then I would make everyone split it as normal.

If you are by yourself then pay the bill it's you who is using it.

And for the gas thing. Yep jacking it on there pillows is the way to go. However make sure to spread yourself around.
 
[quote name='Apossum']tell them you have some fine Amontillado in the cellar...lead them down there and put them in the shackles and put up a brick wall right in front of them. Before you put the last brick in, take a shit in a plastic bag and then throw it in there with them.
Seal the last brick, forget about them for the next 50 years.[/QUOTE]

Am I a geek if I knew where you were going after reading 7 words? ;)

I'm in favor of bitching them out something ferocious (the whole "the fucking building could have blown up, you fuckholes!" discussion).
 
[quote name='Apossum']tell them you have some fine Amontillado in the cellar...lead them down there and put them in the shackles and put up a brick wall right in front of them. Before you put the last brick in, take a shit in a plastic bag and then throw it in there with them.
Seal the last brick, forget about them for the next 50 years.[/QUOTE][quote name='mykevermin']Am I a geek if I knew where you were going after reading 7 words? ;)

I'm in favor of bitching them out something ferocious (the whole "the fucking building could have blown up, you fuckholes!" discussion).[/QUOTE]

Then we are both geeks. :D

How close are you with the neighbors? If they left a gas leak that long, it is possible it spread into the next apartment over... see if you can recuit a neighbor for a bit of scare tactic... when they get home, be there with the distraught neighbor, whos roomate/relative/dog/whatever has gotten sick from gas poisoning, and how could they just ingore it like that and put them all at rish and hurt their loved one?!

Seriously tho', they need a good bitch-out for the gas leak, that's unexcuseable. As for the ultities... get copies of the bills out and compare amounts. If you can prove the bills they paid during your absence were signifgantly less, show them and work something out (maybe just pay each the 5 or 10 more you think their share was) Otherwise, I'd just eat that one and let them know to tell you about such matter in person from now on, cuz thelling someone to pay all the bills for 2 months with a note is dumb.

Oh, and do look into things if the bills are the same... ya know, wild parties or someone cousin staying over and not telling you.
 
[quote name='Nirvanaguy777']1. Kill your roomates
2. Get new roomates
3. Rinse and Repeat if necessary[/QUOTE]

Yeah, this post was done 10x better the post before you.
 
[quote name='Rich']Yeah, this post was done 10x better the post before you.[/QUOTE]

Yes, how dare he not know that a similar post was being written at the exact same time!
 
Are you guys actually friends or just happen to be roomates for the sake of saving rent?

It was inconsiderate of them to leave that gas leak up to you... they should have at least informed the landlord.

I guess it's too late now but some of these issues should have hammered out before you moved in together... i remember freshman year in college, the RA/school set aside time for roomates to settle issues and work out any billing issues... we had to sign an agreement before we moved into the dorms.
 
[quote name='Mr Unoriginal']Yes, how dare he not know that a similar post was being written at the exact same time![/QUOTE]

Ironic that you would come to his defense.
 
[quote name='Rich']Ironic that you would come to his defense.[/QUOTE]

While punq beat me to it, I would be interested in exactly what is ironic about it.
 
I had a friend who used to steal all my food when he'd come over. I'm not kidding either. I'd be sitting there eating gummy bears and offer him one, he'd take the bag away and shove a handful down his throat, then sit on the bag. If I left the room, he'd start searching my fridge for food without asking. To get back at him I went to petco and bought a bunch of oreo look alike dog cookies. I left them on the coffee table on plate and when he came over he started eating them. He ate all 5, and when he finished I told him it was dog food. He got this horrified look on his face and kept trying to deny they were dog food, till I showed him the bag (and my mother was there when I bought the cookies so she reaffirmed that they were dog food). He even asked her "am I gonna die?", we couldn't stop laughing at that. Afterward he said they had tasted like real cookies, except they tasted stale.

I was about 12 at the time, and he never took food from me again without asking.

Though in this case, I'd suggest making your house an all nude zone. Just walk around naked. Make sure to do this at the worst possible time to, like when your roomates have their girlfriends over.
 
[quote name='alonzomourning23']I had a friend who used to steal all my food when he'd come over. I'm not kidding either. I'd be sitting there eating gummy bears and offer him one, he'd take the bag away and shove a handful down his throat, then sit on the bag. If I left the room, he'd start searching my fridge for food without asking. To get back at him I went to petco and bought a bunch of oreo look alike dog cookies. I left them on the coffee table on plate and when he came over he started eating them. He ate all 5, and when he finished I told him it was dog food. He got this horrified look on his face and kept trying to deny they were dog food, till I showed him the bag (and my mother was there when I bought the cookies so she reaffirmed that they were dog food). He even asked her "am I gonna die?", we couldn't stop laughing at that. Afterward he said they had tasted like real cookies, except they tasted stale.

I was about 12 at the time, and he never took food from me again without asking.

Though in this case, I'd suggest making your house an all nude zone. Just walk around naked. Make sure to do this at the worst possible time to, like when your roomates have their girlfriends over.[/QUOTE]
:rofl:
 
[quote name='sabin23']Are you guys actually friends or just happen to be roomates for the sake of saving rent?

It was inconsiderate of them to leave that gas leak up to you... they should have at least informed the landlord.

I guess it's too late now but some of these issues should have hammered out before you moved in together... i remember freshman year in college, the RA/school set aside time for roomates to settle issues and work out any billing issues... we had to sign an agreement before we moved into the dorms.[/QUOTE]

We are friends. Honestly, I was just pissed off that they were so immature and wreckless and wanted to vent. Although, the pillow masturbation might still happen.
 
[quote name='Tromack']I was just pissed off that they were so immature and wreckless

Although, the pillow masturbation might still happen.[/QUOTE]

:whistle2:s
 
I agree with the cable/DSL point. It's contracted, so it should be split. Gas, Sewer, and Electric should only be paid by who used it.

Also, sounds like they're taking advantage of you paying the phone bill. I bet they eat all of your food too... I've been there as well. I'd go buy a cell phone and a plan, and have the house phone turned off. Let them pay for it if they want it, it'll teach them a lesson about biting the hand that feeds them.

Oh yeah, call them "asshats" for the gas leak bit too.
 
[quote name='rodeojones903']You guys treat your friends like your worst enemies. :D[/QUOTE]

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. ;)
 
[quote name='mykevermin']Am I a geek if I knew where you were going after reading 7 words? ;)

I'm in favor of bitching them out something ferocious (the whole "the fucking building could have blown up, you fuckholes!" discussion).[/QUOTE]

Kinda-- it depends on how long ago your last English class was....but I bet you didn't see the "shit in a bag" part coming. if I ever put together an anthology with the story in it, I'm going to sneak that part in. ;-)
 
Instead of 'punish' your roommates. How about have a meeting with them and discuss what issues you have with them? They might not even be aware of their actions. It might be better to just talk to them and let them know you don't like what they did. If they continue to behave without respecting your concerns, they it might be better to move to another apartment and find new roommates.
 
[quote name='Scahom1']Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer. ;)[/QUOTE]

Well said. I probably trust my enemies more than my friends.
 
I dont believe in the not paying utilities BS...

I've had roommates do it to me and I just dont pay until I get their half. Sorry, but thats common roommate curtosy.

It's sucks to have to pay utilites, but unless you unplugged every single thing that is yours including alarm clock, computer, TV, DVD, VCR, cell phone chargers, fish tanks, portable game chargers, hot water in your bathroom, your kitchen appliances that only you use and anything else that would use an LCD or things that would just drain energy I wouldnt not pay the utilities.

You're getting slack on everything else probably because you've decided to be a problem roommate.

Last time someone told me they werent going to pay rent and/or utilities I invited people to use their room since they werent a roommate at the time. I paid utilities that time, but I rented out that room just to be an ass about it.
 
Piss in one of those spray bottles (like 50 cents at target) and spray it on their doorknobs and light switches (the ones thay only they use).
 
Jeez, after reading these posts I'm a little irritated about how you guys treat your friends.

So you have a minor tussle and you're ready to cum in their shit? What the fuck kind of friend is that?

And you kept it a secret? Thats some coward shit right there.

Seriously guys, this is how people get murdered.... I know from experiance that no one keeps a secret forever, and I would break your freakin legs and put the phone on the counter across the room with a number to the hospital next to it over some homo-erotic shit like that... and move out the next day.
 
[quote name='Quackzilla']Since when does roommate = freind?[/QUOTE]

Why would you move in with someone you wouldnt trust around your shit? I would only trust friends for that... but thats just me. Being a gamer makes it where you have alot of random valuables... would you just let anyone in your house while you were gone?
 
[quote name='Mookyjooky']And you kept it a secret? Thats some coward shit right there.
[/QUOTE]

having lived with alot of people over the past 2 years, sometimes you have to keep things quiet.

i am ALWAYS one to bring up and want to openly discuss problems, but not everybody is like this, far too many people take things way too harshly, and take simple criticism personally.

of course one of my old roomates COULD NOT pay bills on time ever. i would write a note on the dry erase saying "$XX.XX due for gas by xx/xx" and i would always give at least a week for the due date since i lived with 5 people, so the morning AFTER the due date i would go to get the money and everyones would be there except his, so every single time, i woke him up at like 6-8am, he would whine about it everytime, you think he would have figured it out eventully :lol:
 
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