How to Deal with the Crap in Life?

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Saucy Jack

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Hey, everyone. I know that there are other CAGs who deal with depression and whatnot on a constant basis, so I'd like some opinions.

I got into a huge fight with my family, and I was feeling incredibly angry for a while. Now, I've crashed and I feel miserable. When my family gets home later tonight, I'll probably have to deal with more garbage, so I'd like some opinions on how I can cheer up a little and have things off my mind... even if it's just for a little while.

Thankfully, I stopped myself from doing something stupid. However, I still have no idea about what to do to up my spirits. Maybe I'll just go play a game or something, I don't know.

Well, even if no one has any ideas, it does feel a tiny bit better just to vent my troubles a little.

Thanks for putting up with me. :)
 
You sound like you live with your parents. I'll assume you're a teenager going through rough years. Don't worry, fighting with your family is normal.
 
Feel great that you're not me.

I'm a college senior with nothing lower than a B who just got an E because I misread the syllabus.
 
[quote name='Mospeada_21']go to the gym. hang out with friends.[/QUOTE]

Those are both good suggestions. My suggestion for what not to do (coming from a heck of a lot of personal experience) is drink heavily, because then you would probably do something you would really regret later on. Hang out with close friends who will listen to and understand your problems. If that can't happen for one reason or another, work out like crazy and release those endorphins into your system. Not only will they improve your mood, but you'll probably be too sore to worry about other things once they wear off. ;)
 
just don't kill yourself, don't resort to drugs & don't resort to alcohol and you should be fine

ive always put on some "don't give a fuck" music which soothes me for a while

trust me, im going through a lot of shit right now as well....which is the reason why im starting to look for a house....

will smith once said: "parents just don't understand"
 
In general - it's important to be upbeat and put things into perspective. While I know that everything is relative, it is that relativity that makes living life bearable.

For instance...

One of my close friends got cancer. I couldn't believe it at first - and she was struggling to fight it. A lot of us thought she would die and all I could think about was how I wasn't going to be able to see her again. However, I came to realize that she has precious time left and that I should spend as much time supporting her and being a friend than worrying about it. She eventually recovered which was a fantastic surprise.

With family - things are interesting. You see them everyday, but the important thing to realize is that they spend more time with you than any other person (usually) and that they usually do love you (hopefully). Sure, we all make mistakes - and apologies are hard to dish out - but if you owe one, do it. If there isn't really a need for one, just try and reason.

But put things in perspective. Shit could be worse. I consider myself lucky...I haven't had to work more than 30 hours a week in my life so far and I'm already 19. Most of my friends are working 40 hours a week this summer. My life, while sometimes exciting, annoying, tiresome, or bland is pretty damn good and I think most people fail to realize how good their's is as well.

You only have one life to live - so enjoy it while you can and remain optomistic.

Also, things to get your mind off of something...

1. A Comedy
2. Gaming (Obviously, counter-strike for me)
3. Friends/Laughing
 
Thank you for the replies, everyone. You all are extremely helpful, and I honestly can't tell you how much better I am feeling by being able to let this out.

I liked the suggestions about exercising. I really need to start working out again. I felt awesome when I ate well and exercised every morning. Maybe I can talk my bro into working out with me so that I won't be alone.

Also, I wish that I had some friends that I could talk to, but unfortunately that isn't the case. They either all moved away, or I am not friends with them anymore. Basically, I am left to either deal with my problems alone, or turn to my friends here at CAG. I didn't feel like being alone, so I decided to come here. Glad I did; things feel a little better now.

I haven't had an easy life, and I try not to be bitter about it. But I often just look at myself and think about my life, and feel that I am a complete waste of humanity. I mean, sometimes it gets to the point where I feel like I don't deserve to live anymore. I know that I have been given life, and that is probably the most precious gift in the world. And I feel like I am wasting it.

I'll tell you a bit more about myself so that you can understand me better. Next month, I will be 21 years old. I plan to celebrate that milestone a little, since I'm not supposed to be alive today. I've battled illness all my life, and heck, I still do. There have been countless times where I have cheated death and managed to survive, so something inside me tells me that maybe I am alive for a reason.

I have tried to be the best damn person I can be. I had a perfect 4.0 throughout my entire scholastic career. However, I still couldn't find a way into college. Maybe I wasn't the type of person that they wanted or something. I had the skills and the grades to succeed in school, but for some reason all those scholarship programs and grants would be denied. My family has very little money, so that wasn't the problem. Maybe life was trying to throw me another breaking ball; telling me that I would have to do something else.

Well, I fell into illness again after high school and have battled back from it several times. But ever since those denials, my mind has been slipping into... into somewhere... I can't describe it. I am a lot angrier... sadder... miserable than before.

My problems have prevented me from getting a job, and I don't know if I can possibly go back to school again. It's been at least 3 years since I've been in school, and I don't know if I can do it. I hate myself, I hate how I look, and I don't know if I can cut it in a classroom... well, if I could find a way into college, that is.

I need to put my life in order. I need a miracle. Hopefully, things will turn around.
 
well coming from my point of view i don't see a reason for you to be "depressed" if you say. Maybe, you may find this point of perspective crap but here it goes. At 13, i lost my mom, and recently lost my dad at 15. Now i had great parents, maybe you have a hard family to deal with. But, remember, parents from there angle are trying to what's best for you. It may not be what you think is best, but it is. Later on, you will calm down and maybe when you get older you will understand as much as people think "parents are dumb a-holes" they really aren't. take a breather.
 
When you become a parent yourself, you really start to feel shitty about some of the things you did when you were younger because you see things from their side of the fence
 
If you've been suffering from long-term depression, I can't emphasize enough that you should definitely seek help for it. If you don't have insurance and can't afford to see a professional psychologist or psychiatrist, there's usually somewhere around offering some sort of of free counseling or at the very least depression screening.
 
I'm gonna have to disagree with a few of the above posters.

It is incumbent upon you to sink into an alcoholic and drug-induced haze. Consider it your duty! Where would this world be if we didn't succumb to despair?

Don't wuss out. And above all, don't kill yourself. Yet. Wait until you've hit rock bottom, till you're giving blowjobs for $10, or rimjobs for $20 behind a 7-11. Wait until you look forward to the next blowjob because it will provide you a hot meal.

Then kill yourself. You have to spiral down first.
 
[quote name='fanskad']I'm gonna have to disagree with a few of the above posters.

It is incumbent upon you to sink into an alcoholic and drug-induced haze. Consider it your duty! Where would this world be if we didn't succumb to despair?

Don't wuss out. And above all, don't kill yourself. Yet. Wait until you've hit rock bottom, till you're giving blowjobs for $10, or rimjobs for $20 behind a 7-11. Wait until you look forward to the next blowjob because it will provide you a hot meal.

Then kill yourself. You have to spiral down first.[/QUOTE]

Well, this thread has turned weird. I'll just try to cope with this however I can. Mods, go ahead and lock this, delete this, or whatever.
 
My problems have prevented me from getting a job, and I don't know if I can possibly go back to school again. It's been at least 3 years since I've been in school, and I don't know if I can do it. I hate myself, I hate how I look, and I don't know if I can cut it in a classroom... well, if I could find a way into college, that is.
Click to expand...

I know how ya feel, I dropped out of college my first semester and just worked for a couple years. I sank into a deep depression during that time. I fought against the idea of going back to school, but it soon became my only option, since my natural talents weren't going to take me anywhere. So I decided to try out community college, to get the core classes out of the way cheaply, and have earned almost straight A's(one B) in the year I've been there.

Before that, the best GPA I had ever earned was a 2.8. I don't mean to brag, I'm just suggesting that you get into community college, since it's cheap, easy and sufficient, and by the time you earn an associates or get core classes out of the way, you'll probably be eligible for more scholarships and funding than before. And if you've had a 4.0 throughout high school, then you'll probably clean up at community college. Not sure what you're looking for, but it's a great option, especially if you aren't doing anything else.

Of course, school won't cure any mental problems, but if you're anything like me, it'll help pave the way for an escape from the people who run you crazy :lol:
 
If you want my opinion get some zoloft or get into a program. That is what I did for my depression. Workkin out works also, and talking with friends. IT really feels good to just get things off your chest. If you ever need some one to talk to I am there for you.;)
 
[quote name='fanskad']I'm gonna have to disagree with a few of the above posters.

It is incumbent upon you to sink into an alcoholic and drug-induced haze. Consider it your duty! Where would this world be if we didn't succumb to despair?

Don't wuss out. And above all, don't kill yourself. Yet. Wait until you've hit rock bottom, till you're giving blowjobs for $10, or rimjobs for $20 behind a 7-11. Wait until you look forward to the next blowjob because it will provide you a hot meal.

Then kill yourself. You have to spiral down first.[/QUOTE]

Dude, there are some pretty dumb people who post here, but I think you just took the cake as the most likely to have no real friends because you're a fucking idiot. Way to go dumb-ass! :applause:
 
[quote name='fanskad']I'm gonna have to disagree with a few of the above posters.

It is incumbent upon you to sink into an alcoholic and drug-induced haze. Consider it your duty! Where would this world be if we didn't succumb to despair?

Don't wuss out. And above all, don't kill yourself. Yet. Wait until you've hit rock bottom, till you're giving blowjobs for $10, or rimjobs for $20 behind a 7-11. Wait until you look forward to the next blowjob because it will provide you a hot meal.

Then kill yourself. You have to spiral down first.[/QUOTE]


wow, you're a fucking asshole! congratulations.

(waits for stupid response like "u guys neeed to losen up, ur teh assholes"
 
[quote name='Apossum']I know how ya feel, I dropped out of college my first semester and just worked for a couple years. I sank into a deep depression during that time. I fought against the idea of going back to school, but it soon became my only option, since my natural talents weren't going to take me anywhere. So I decided to try out community college, to get the core classes out of the way cheaply, and have earned almost straight A's(one B) in the year I've been there.

Before that, the best GPA I had ever earned was a 2.8. I don't mean to brag, I'm just suggesting that you get into community college, since it's cheap, easy and sufficient, and by the time you earn an associates or get core classes out of the way, you'll probably be eligible for more scholarships and funding than before. And if you've had a 4.0 throughout high school, then you'll probably clean up at community college. Not sure what you're looking for, but it's a great option, especially if you aren't doing anything else.

Of course, school won't cure any mental problems, but if you're anything like me, it'll help pave the way for an escape from the people who run you crazy :lol:[/QUOTE]

Do you think that being out of the scholastic world for 3 years means that it is too late for me, though? If I did get a miracle and found a way into college, that would be my biggest fear. I don't know how I would react in a classroom environment again. Also, I have no idea about what kind of career I want. Well, I've always wanted to make movies, but that might not be a good career choice. It's hard to break into filmmaking.

Hopefully, I'll figure something out.
 
Don't know if your religioius, but maybe check if your church or any others near you have a bible study class at night. My wife and her sister met several new (young) people that way.

Also, do you have a job? Earning money may improve your self-esteem. I also do habitat-for-humanity ever so often. You get to even learn how to build houses in addition to meeting people.

If you don't think full-blown college courses are right for you, consider a trade. Electricians and plumbers can make some good money. See if there's a vo-tech school by you where you can learn a trade.

Don't know if any of this helps. I'm just thinking that you're at a phase in your life where you either need to move on with your life (i.e., strike it out on your own, become less attached with the parental units) or that you're bummed out because you don't know anyone right now.
 
[quote name='Saucy Jack']
I haven't had an easy life, and I try not to be bitter about it. But I often just look at myself and think about my life, and feel that I am a complete waste of humanity. I mean, sometimes it gets to the point where I feel like I don't deserve to live anymore. I know that I have been given life, and that is probably the most precious gift in the world. And I feel like I am wasting it.
[/QUOTE]

A complete waste of humanity is a person who inflicts harm upon other people. They are neither benefitting themselves or the people around them. Whether or not someone deserves to live or not is again, relative. To me, I consider a great use of time a few things...

1. Enjoying a hobby
2. Going to work to pay for said hobby
3. going to school to eventually go to work to pay for said hobby.

It all comes back to what you enjoy. I enjoy tennis, gaming, sitting on my ass outside while reading a book and hanging out with friends. I enjoy talking on these forums, reading cnn and writing articles in my spare time. A lot of people consider some of these things a waste of time. I don't - it makes me happy - and that's the most important thing. You need to find what makes you happy and cultivate it.

In regards to friends - school makes that a bit easier. Find someone with similar interests (in my case, tennis) and ask them if they want to go out and do said interest (movies being the universal thing that most people like to do).

And it's never too late to go back to school. My sister dropped out for about 3 years, was never the best student, and is currently the valedictorian for her class at bay path college.
 
[quote name='fanskad']I'm gonna have to disagree with a few of the above posters.

It is incumbent upon you to sink into an alcoholic and drug-induced haze. Consider it your duty! Where would this world be if we didn't succumb to despair?

Don't wuss out. And above all, don't kill yourself. Yet. Wait until you've hit rock bottom, till you're giving blowjobs for $10, or rimjobs for $20 behind a 7-11. Wait until you look forward to the next blowjob because it will provide you a hot meal.

Then kill yourself. You have to spiral down first.[/QUOTE]

Okay someone has a bad look on life. I went through depression and I got cured. He has plenty of hope, and fortune left for him. His strong will proves that he can achieve great things. Saying something like that just might mean you're on a one way ticket to hell.
 
[quote name='Saucy Jack']Do you think that being out of the scholastic world for 3 years means that it is too late for me, though? If I did get a miracle and found a way into college, that would be my biggest fear. I don't know how I would react in a classroom environment again. Also, I have no idea about what kind of career I want. Well, I've always wanted to make movies, but that might not be a good career choice. It's hard to break into filmmaking.

Hopefully, I'll figure something out.[/QUOTE]

People go in and out all the time. the whole "you have to go as soon as you finish high school and finish in 4 years" thing is a big suburban myth. you'll see folks of all ages in there, though most of em are young. It doesn't matter when, as long as you go when yer ready. So no, there's no such thing as "too late." that's proabably the depression talking.

As far as getting back into it goes, no sweat, it's like riding a bike.

Well, at least MY sarcasm detector is still functioning properly...
Click to expand...

so is mine, but there's a time and a place for that kind of joking around. but I guess we shouldn't hold retards to those standards :roll:
 
just like hang with some friends.. play a game.. burn something.. (not a joint)... punch someone... i dunno.. watch some porn...
 
Oh please.

I don't have the time or the inclination to write a primer on how to deal with issues like an adult. I used shock-sarcasm to demonstrate that most issues that we perceive to be external are self inflicted.

Nobody has control over what diseases they're born with, but you can sit around and sink into depression about it, or you can be proactive.

To be concise, you have no control over what people do to you, but you have abolute control over how you react. To say that you "had" to do this, or that thing is to give up power in your own life. The only way you will begin to demonstrate a degree of control over your surroundings is to excercise that control in yourself first.

I'm not going to tell him to get a hobby, tell him to get friends, tell him to go to college, tell him to seek a better job, because those are like attempting to bandage a hemophiliac.

I just don't have the patience to try to teach this man how to fish today.
 
You're only 21? It's never too late to do ANYTHING you set your mind to. Believe me, your best years are always ahead of you. There's so much to look forward to...

FYI about the school thing... I took 3 years off to work and went back. I now make a shitload of money (more than most at my age - 30 - I'd like to believe) :D If you really want something and are willing to work hard for it there's nothing you can't accomplish.
 
[quote name='Mouse']Zoloft.

Medicinal-enforced happiness is the only way to go.[/QUOTE]

Woo-hoo! We should get Spoony in here and start a CAG Zoloft users club. ;)
 
[quote name='fanskad']Oh please.

I don't have the time or the inclination to write a primer on how to deal with issues like an adult. I used shock-sarcasm to demonstrate that most issues that we perceive to be external are self inflicted.

Nobody has control over what diseases they're born with, but you can sit around and sink into depression about it, or you can be proactive.

To be concise, you have no control over what people do to you, but you have abolute control over how you react. To say that you "had" to do this, or that thing is to give up power in your own life. The only way you will begin to demonstrate a degree of control over your surroundings is to excercise that control in yourself first.

I'm not going to tell him to get a hobby, tell him to get friends, tell him to go to college, tell him to seek a better job, because those are like attempting to bandage a hemophiliac.

I just don't have the patience to try to teach this man how to fish today.[/QUOTE]


?? what the hell, why didn't you just post all that instead of wasting you're time trying to make some trite sarcastic statement?
 
[quote name='Saucy Jack']Do you think that being out of the scholastic world for 3 years means that it is too late for me, though? [/QUOTE]

My mother is going to be starting at tech school this fall. She's 37. Been out of school for 19 years. If she can do it after 19 years, I think you can do it after 3. Everything will work out in the end, just try not to worry too much.
 
i didnt read any of the posts made here, since i know people like thread crapping on people asking for advice, and i dont want to read that, however my advice to the OP is:

you just need time. time to think about things, sort them out, and deal with them. i know its not the answer you wanted but time will make things better. go take a long walk or bike ride, vent your frustration into something positive rather than negative.
 
I dont know what happen to me last year but i remember during halloween i had sudden bout of depression for no reason. There was really nothing to be depressed over but these crazy thoughts just kept on popping into my head. Things like "we are all gonna die one day so wats the point" kinda things. I was losing sleep, couldnt eat and didnt even talk much.
I used to be a devout catholic but havent been to church in like 8 years and gradually lost my faith. Since i didnt want to be hooked on pills i decided to start praying. I hadnt really praved in years but it pretty much came down to my only option. I dont know why but i felt better. I wouldnt say that it was a touch of God or anything but i decided just to live on and be a better person. Being nice to others will eventually bring happiness to yourself. Thats how i got out of my "out-a-nowhere" depression.
 
If at all possible, get a two year degree. You can slowly do stuff on the side to earn credit towards a four year degree and othercredentials. No matter how much school sucks, unless you have some talent that lets you write your own ticket, not having the silly piece of paper will be a major handicap regardless of your ability. Jobs for which nothing whatsoever in the college experience applies will still favor college graduates.

This can be for several reasons. Potential employers believe it demonstrates particular qualities that are desirable even if not part of the job description. Sometimes it's purely petty and comes down to the person in charge of hiring not wanting to deal with anyone who didn't go through as much crap as they did for their job.

Comfort yourself with the knowledge that grade inflation allows someone who would have struggled for passing grades in the 1960's and earlier to now be given high marks.
 
I'm glad that this thread has taken a turn back into positivity. I thank each of you for your help and input. I'm glad that there are caring folks here at CAG.

In my heart, I know that it is never too late to do something in life. The only time it is too late is when I am dead. However, I just need something... the courage, a spark... I don't know... and I'll be able to change my life.

What I would really like to do is get into better shape and change how I feel about myself. I think that then, I would have a better chance at being successful in my future.

I can't tell you guys enough... thank you. :)
 
[quote name='thingsfallnapart']"you are not a unique and beautiful snowflake, your are not special, you are all the singing dancing crap of the world"[/QUOTE]

[quote name='Fight Club, Page 134']You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile.
Our culture has made us all the same. No one is truly white or black or rich, anymore. We all want the same. Individually, we are nothing.
[/QUOTE]

Amen.
 
I have learned that you will fight and say some really mean things. I would fight with family and everyone would go there ways for a few hours, and do whatever then we would all come back, and do one of 2 things either talk rational, or just go on like nothing happened. I would go to my friends house they usually have went though what ever it was, I was going though. yea drugs or liquor are not the answer. however everything in moderation is okay in my book.

but just play a game or go beat the shit out of the ground with a baseball bat. running around the neighborhood as fast as you can helps blow off alot of steam do not stop until you are really tired then go sit some where and think about other things. like when will I beat (insert) game etc. push ups help alot to. I would go to my room and do push ups. you can let frustration out running or doing push ups and no one gets hurt. family fights till they die. I know these 2 older brother I am talking 50 or so and they still get in physical fights.
 
Shit, I just drank and wrote songs while hoping things got better, until I eventually moved across the country, away from the problems.

Don't do what I did.

No, I didn't read past the original post.
 
[quote name='fanskad']Oh please.

I don't have the time or the inclination to write a primer on how to deal with issues like an adult. I used shock-sarcasm to demonstrate that most issues that we perceive to be external are self inflicted.

Nobody has control over what diseases they're born with, but you can sit around and sink into depression about it, or you can be proactive.

To be concise, you have no control over what people do to you, but you have abolute control over how you react. To say that you "had" to do this, or that thing is to give up power in your own life. The only way you will begin to demonstrate a degree of control over your surroundings is to excercise that control in yourself first.

I'm not going to tell him to get a hobby, tell him to get friends, tell him to go to college, tell him to seek a better job, because those are like attempting to bandage a hemophiliac.

I just don't have the patience to try to teach this man how to fish today.[/QUOTE]

Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Most emotions are, which is why it's harder to combat depression if you really have symptoms of a serious case. This is also why people take medication to counter-act the imbalance. It's hard to be "pro-active" when something is out of your control (it is out of your control if it's true depression).
 
[quote name='SkyGheNe']Depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Most emotions are, which is why it's harder to combat it depression if you really have symptoms of a serious case. This is also why people take medication to counter-act the imbalance. It's hard to be "pro-active" when something out of your control (it is out of your control if it's true depression).[/QUOTE]


yeah, it is a tricky son-of-a-bitch...it's always good to try everything, then try out meds. we are in an over-medicated country and doctors are way too quick to write scripts.
 
[quote name='Apossum']yeah, it is a tricky son-of-a-bitch...it's always good to try everything, then try out meds. we are in an over-medicated country and doctors are way too quick to write scripts.[/QUOTE]

I agree. My brother struggled with depression for a lot of years without meds. I never understood it really - I always thought to myself "just get over it you pussy." Luckily, I've grown to understand depression a lot better (it was hard - I'm like a polar opposite of my brother). He used meds for a while to recoup, but slowly got off of them. He did some online dating - moved his computer out in the family room with mine - and has overall become more social/gotten more friends. He's like a new person, really.
 
survive. survive, and do well. it sends a message to those who tried to beat you down.

give thanks, and be appreciative. thank those who supported and helped you. and remember the kindness in their hearts. be better. and always pay it forward.
 
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