Don't know if you are ideologically conservative or ideologically liberal, so i won't select an actual politician. Charlie Sheen gets my vote.
1. His online rants prove that he can stand toe-to-toe with anyone in a debate.
2. We won't be shocked or call for his impeachment should he be caught with his pants down because we've already had a president who has been caught with his pants down.
3. His ability to maintain the services of high-end call girls, blow money on new mansions and the best drugs WHILE still maintaining financial stability is nothing short of miraculous. In this time of uncertainty, who better than Sheen to provide America with the economic boost it needs?
4. Lastly, he isn't qualified to be President. And that is the very best qualification for anyone running for President.
WINNING!