[quote name='E-Z-B']I skimmed through most posts, but wanted to add my own thoughts plus reiterate other's:
1) You said it yourself. She has a history with "jackasses". Therefore, don't act like mr. nice guy around her. She obviously has a thing with guys that are disrepectful, vulgar, or obnoxious. I'm not saying you have to be all the way on that side of the spectrum, but mr. nice guy isn't going to help at all.
2) As stated, women don't like indecisiveness. Know what you want. Make it so that she knows what you want. Tell her where you want to eat, which bar to go, where to hang out. Don't say "well, where do you want to go?"
3) Make your move PRONTO. There's a dimishing curve where the odds of moving out of your "friendship" status will look like an exponential decay. As stated, you don't need another friend. A friend who's a girl may impede your chances of getting other tail at bars anyway.
4) If she doesn't go for the kiss, then DO NOT WORRY OVER IT. It's the experience of moving in for the kill is what counts. Sure, it may not work this time. But with the next chick, you're more confident and less inhibited to move in. If anything, congratulate yourself for trying.
5) Give up if it doesn't work. You'll drive yourself bonkers for someone who will never feel the same for you as you do for her. Cut your losses and move on. Start scanning the bar for a new chick.
Hope this helps. Other tips include complimenting her on one thing unique about her, such as her hair, fingernails, clothes, etc.[/quote]
1) Yeah, don't be a jackass. The key point I always stress is confidence.
2) I somewhat disagree here. The key here is to establish what you want but also giving a girl options... of places you want to go/things to do. An example:
Say you're figuring out what to eat so you tell the girl (not ask),
"I'm hungry. Let's go eat somewhere."
Making it a statement instead of a question negates its submissive nature. When she (inevitably) asks,
"I dunno what I feel like. Where do you want to go?"
you want to have several choices of places to go to, all of them places you want to go anyway, but only mention two (so you can use the others later). This gives the illusion of giving her the choice, when in fact, it won't matter to you where you go because either will suit you. If she responds,
"Well, I don't feel like going to place A or place B."
You give her the illusion of giving in by saying,
"Ok, how about this. We go to place A for now and next time we'll go to place B or you can decide."
It's far more effective, in the long run, to give her the 'impression' that she's making the decisions when it won't matter to you either way.
3) I agree that you have to make your move quickly but I somewhat disagree that a guy doesn't need another female friend as, in my experience, female wingmen (or wingwomen if you prefer) help me hook up w/ a random girl far more often than I have w/ my wingmen. I think you can chalk it up to their comfort zones. It's far easier for a girl to approach another girl to engage in inane conversation (which is in reality building me up) before giving me a signal to move in for the 'kill'. If a girl shoots you down but still (genuinely) wants to be friends, tell her to be your wingwoman. If you're given lemons, make lemonade I say. Of course, I shouldn't have to say this but I know some guy will do it if I don't, but don't ask her to be your wingwoman 30 seconds after you asked her out. Do it well after the uncomfortable situation has passed, like say a day later (though I strongly recommend at least a week minimum).
4) True.
5) True.
[quote name='camoor']
"the signs" - that's great
Never listen to girls about advice on getting girls - I wasted half my life doing that and the truth is that they don't know what they want and have no clue on how to give men advice on how to get it.
I read this PDF floating around the internets called "Double Your Dating" - that dude had some pretty great ideas (and reasons why women seem to be crazy) - but you will have to work at it.[/quote]
For the most part I'd agree w/ the bolded statement. However, there is some truth to what DJ K8E said. I'll address them below.
[quote name='DJ K8E']I love watching guys try to figure out us girls. Being scared of us because we might reject them, it's so fun!
Especially when 99% of us are by and large the same, and if you could just get past the emotions (and hormones) and examine the facts/patterns/etc., then you might finally get it.[/QUOTE]
This is true. The sooner a guy has stopped putting the pussy on a pedestal & realize girls are just human beings w/ different crotch parts, the sooner he's able to treat them on a comfort level similar to how he treats his guy friends. Make no mistake, a guy will never have the comfort level with a girl that he will w/ his guy friends. Even married men won't tell their wives shit they'll tell their guy friends. But it's still a better alternative than worshipping them at their feet (despite their desire to be worshipped).
There's a reason women tend to have their men tied around their finger. We've figured you out, and we know it.
While that's true for many (or in fact, most guys), there are also guys like (or even better than) me who have also figured girls out & have learned their psychology & apply techniques to suit the situation. I'll admit that there's an element of manipulation involved but it's no worse than the techniques employed by women to keep/rein in their men.
But to the advice... You'll never get anywhere being lazy and inactive with girls. We are the dominants posing as submissives, which means you should be the submissives posing as dominants. You can't be us, you can't be the wounded fragile little flower to us, you have to be the iron fist, or we're not going to give two scoops. That's just how relationships work.
True. 'Nuff said.
Bottom line: Lie, lie, lie. You have to prove that you can act dominant, so do it. Pretend you're the coolest, slickest guy around, that you are untouchable, that if this girl don't want in, you got 'em lined up around the block. Because a sure fire way to get rejected is if the girl knows you have no prospects other than her.
I somewhat disagree with this as this isn't the core around which a good relationship is based off. It's a good method if you don't give a shit & just looking for someone to fcuk for the next hour or so. Pretending you're cool isn't as good as genuinely being cool. And genuinely being cool is all about confidence. That said, I am of the staunch belief that a guy is in no way obligated to tell a girl his life story. It's all about being aloof. You want to give an air of mystery about yourself. If a guy tells a girl he has no prospects other than her, it's a given, at best, she'll reject him & at worst, take advantage of him & pretend she likes him while tricking him into giving her stuff like jewelry, clothing, other bullshit. Save that for when you've already got the girl, not before. Rather, a guy shouldn't mention his dating history at all unless the issue is strictly addressed and even then give very short, terse response. Also, only answer 2 strictly addressed dating questions at any given time. A guy should blow off any further inquiry by saying, "Geez, that's old news, I'd rather not talk about it." or something similar.
(More) bottom line: Give up. If she wanted you, you'd know it. We've found over the years, that we have to be ridiculously obvious about the fact we like you, for you to make the first move. Therefore, don't look for the signs, they're not hard to see, if we want you, you'll know. Then again, even if we want someone else, there is something to be said for using the guy you don't want to get the guy you do... so take a stab at it.
This harsh reality, brought to you by the letter K and the number 8.
Unfortunately, this is most likely true. As I mentioned earlier to assassinX, even if you have rivals of affection, it matters that you made either the first move or one of the earliest moves if another rival failed. There are methods to change a girl's perception (some of which I already outlined) but if she doesn't have at least a small inkling of desire for you, it'd be better to cut your losses and find another girl. Dating can be a harsh reality as DJ K8E mentioned or it can be a game. I'd rather be playing the game.
.
you over.
