Imaginary kiss off e-mail to an idiot e-bayer

mbstuff

mbstuff

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I sold off some games last week. Auctions closed on Monday, most games were sent out on Thursday. Except for one, who told me she was sending me a money order instead of paypal. That always sends off warning bells in my head, as if you're not using paypal, there's more of a chance that I'm dealing with a problem buyer. (not a more likely fraudulent buyer, but a buyer who gives me crap). And voila, I ended up with problems.

I threw out my back over the weekend, which knocked me out through the weekend until yesterday, when I checked my e-mail for the first time since Friday night and received the following e-mails. To make that clear, I'm checking e-mail on April 6.


April 5

HI,JUST WONDERING WHEN YOU WIIL SPIP MY GAME.PAYMENT HAS BEEN RECIEVED.THANKS S*****Y


April 5

HI,THIS IS MY SECOND E-MAIL,WILL YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN MY PACKAGE WILL BE SHIPPED,I KNOW PAYMENT HAS BEEN RECIEVED.PLEASE LET ME KNOW ASAP!!TAHNKS S*****Y

April 6

THIS IS MY THIRD E-MAIL!I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT MY GAME,PLEASE HONOR YOUR AGGREMENT&LET ME KNOW ABOUT MY GAME&IF YOU HAVE SHIPPED IT YET!!!!!!!!!! THANKS S*****Y


So far, just your basic capslock-on idiot, which I have infinite patience for, even though I feel she is overdoing it with 3 e-mails in probably less than 24 hours. I sent the folloiwng response at this point.


April 6


Sorry, I've had back trouble this week and have not had a chance to check my mail or e-mail. Assuming you sent me a money order (if you sent me a check, I will have to deposit it and wait until it clears), I will have the game shipped out today or tomorrow. Thank you.


She sends me a response before the day is out.

April 6

I SENT A MONEY ORDER,PLEASE LET ME KNOW BY E-MAIL WHEN YOU SHIP THE GAME!THANKS S*****Y



I'm thinking, we're cool, I'll send the game Friday. But then S*****y starts going psycho on me.

April 6

HI,AGIAN LEFT YOU ANOTHER E-MAIK&YOU HAVE NOT RESPONDED.PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU SHIPPED THE GAME OUT YET.I SENT A MONEY ORDER BY PRIORITY MAIL&I KNOW FOR A FACT IT HAS BEEN RECIEVED.S*****Y


I didn't respond to this. I thought I had it pretty well covered when I said earlier in the day that I'll send the game the same day or the next day. Then I went to sleep, woke up April 7 (today), prepared the game for shipment and was about to go to the post office. (still not welll enough to work, but I'm thinking I gotta get this psycho off my back and have to go to the post office). I checked my e-mail and this is what I had.

April 7

HI,WOULD YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU SENT MY PACKAGE OR IF YOU HAVE.I HAVE E-MAILED YOU 6 TIMES&YOU ONLY RESPONDED ONCE.I KNOW YOU RECIEVED MY MONEY ORDER,SO PLEASE SEND MY GAME!!!!KEEP YOUR GOOD REVIEWS.I ORDERD THIS FOR MY SON FOR HIS BIRTHDAY &IT IS COMING SOON.SO PLEASE SEND MY PACKAGE&LET ME KNOW SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!! S*****Y


At this point, I realize this is a complete moron, devoid of all concepts of internet etiquette, realistic shipping times, basic human decency (I mean, I told her I had a back problem, and now she's threatening my feedback). I am now pissed, because I realize my perfect feedback of 49 or whatever is going to be spoiled. Still, because I'm a saintly kinda guy and care about little children, I decide to send the game priority mail, dipping into my pockets for the extra 2 dollars. Then I run some errands (meaning checking the local ebgames/gamestops for the 2 for 1 sale that I've missed all week), and I come home to this.


April 7

HOW MANY E-MAILS DO I HAVE TO SEND YOU TO GET A RESPONSE!!IT IS YOUR OBLIGATION TO SEND MY PACKAGE.PLEASE LET ME KNOW SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Not only this, the idiot woman filed a non-receipt of goods complaint. I was beyond pissed. So I started writing her a e-mail, which was.


April 7

Hi.

The game was shipped around 2:20 eastern on April 7.

I have some things I'd like to discuss with you.

First, I responded to your e-mail yesterday, at the first opportunity I've had all week to check my e-mail. Like I wrote yesterday, I injured my back over the weekend and had not been out of bed until yesterday. I wrote to you yesterday that I would check my mailbox and upon seeing your money order, send the game. I opened the money order last night, and I sent the game out at lunchtime today, only to come home later in the day and see two additional e-mails from you plus a conflict resolution notice from ebay.

Second, I'd like to remind you that delivery confirmation is only a notice of delivery to my mailbox. There is no signature involved or any personal interaction between the mail carrier and the addressee. If you doubt that I did not pick up your money order until yesterday, please check with your bank on when the money order is processed. I deposited it right after the trip to the post office, and it should process today or Monday.

Third, even had I picked up the money order on Monday, which according to the tracking number is when it was delivered to my mailbox, I see nothing wrong with a turnaround time of 4 days between receiving payment and shipping the item. In fact, I know that you will agree that there is nothing wrong with a 4 day turnaround since you sent my payment the exact same 4 days after closing of the auction. I saw that you sent the money order last Friday. Should I have claimed a non-paying bidder last Friday when you had not contacted me in days and had not sent payment? Please understand that I'm not a storefront operation, and sometimes real life causes a delay of a day or two.

I did pay extra for priority mail to make up for any delay, and I'm glad I did, since now I understand it is a birthday gift for your son. I wish him a happy birthday and hope he enjoys his game.

Have a nice weekend.



Unfortunately, I reached ebay's word limit and could not finish my e-mail. And that's where this long ass forum post comes in. I'd like to finish my e-mail now, even though the idiot will never see it.

You fucking bitch, I realize from your grammar and other language skills that Internet etiquette would be far beyond the scope of your conceptual understanding, but has no one ever told you that it is rude to type in capital letters? In seven straight e-mails? To a man groggily reading e-mail in the hazy light of back pain medication?

Did you not fucking give me zero communication in the four days after the auction's close before you sent out a money order? And now you fucking file a complaint because there's a four day difference between the money order hitting my mailbox and the game shipping out? Cripes, I should have filed a non-paying bidder complaint last Friday and prevented our interaction, which can only be very limited because it is an interaction between a functioning adult human and a typing monkey.

Do you understand that delivery confirmation means it's in my mailbox, not in my hands? No matter how many times you fucking say I received the money order, I haven't received jack shit until I see the fucking money order.

I was completely shocked when you revealed to me that you had a son, for I doubted your ability to comprehend the actions required for reproduction. Much like certain pandas, I would not have thought that you know the mechanisms of reproductive processes. I pity your son, once for having you as an example in his road of life, twice for being entered into an education system that has produced you, and thrice for the gene pool of which he is a part.

Thanks. Have a nice day.


I think I feel a little better now. Had I known of the e-mails waiting for me after my post office trip, I would have dumped glitter all over the game before shipping it out.


UPDATE:
I can't believe it. I thought I controlled my temper rather well when I sent my last e-mail. She replies with this.


HI,FIRST OF ALL LET ME SAY I AM VERY SORRY ABOUT YOUR BACK,HOWEVER I SENT YOU SEVERAL E-MAILS&YOU ONLY RESPONDED ONCE,I ONLY ASKED THAT YOU LET ME KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT MY PACKAGE!!IT TOOK MY COMPLAINING TO GET A RESPONSE FROM YOU,ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS LET ME KNOW SOMETHING AFTER ALL THE E-MAILS I SENT YOU.YOU ONLY SENT ONE,I ASKED YOU TO LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAD SHIPPED IT YET SEVERAL TIMES&YOU NEVER RESPONDED&WHEN YOU FINALLY DID IT WAS WITH ALOT OF ATTITUDE!!THAT IS NOT VERY PROFESOINAL,CONSIDERING YOU NEVER E-MAILED ME ABOUT MY PACKAGE UNTILL NOW.SHIRLEY5261


Did she really expect me to respond to her 4 times a day? I had already told the moron I'd ship either Thursday or Friday. What else does she want? Four replies of "no, I haven't sent it yet, but I'll do it today?"

I sent her this last response.

Hi.
Like I've said, I responded to your e-mails yesterday the one time I checked my e-mails yesterday, for the first time all week. The next time I checked my e-mail was earlier tonight (after having shipped the game by the way), and by then you had sent me FOUR additional e-mails in the span of about 24 hours and had filed a complaint with ebay. I think it is reasonable to expect any person to respond to e-mail about once a day, which is what I did. I had even answered your question about the shipping time frame when I wrote you yesterday. I said I would ship it either that day or today, which I did. You sent two threatening e-mails and filed a complaint AFTER I shipped the game because you expected me to check my ebay e-mail during work hours. I don't think that's reasonable at all.

My biggest point is this. You sent me zero communication after last Tuesday about sending me payment for an auction that ended Monday and sent out payment on Friday. I did not bother you about it last week. I found it reasonable to give you about a week to send payment. You did not give me the same courtesy that I extended to you. Instead you threatend me by e-mail and then filed a complaint, even though I shipped out the game less than 24 hours after sending you a response yesterday letting you know that I will check my mail and ship out the game by today.

Not only have your correspondences been stylistically rude in your use of capital letters, which is the Internet equivalent of screaming in conversation, their content have been threatening. I urge you to read your messages again and see if you find their tones friendly or not. Imagine my shock when I even sent the game via priority mail as a courtesy, only to come home to those four e-mails (three of which were threatening) and a notice from ebay of a complaint. If you found my e-mail earlier today to be unprofessional, I urge you to consider the circumstances in which I wrote those words.

Have a nice weekend.




It's too bad about my feedback really. I'm 99.99% sure this moron will leave me a negative.
 
Glitter!!!!!!!


That will be the new motto for Cags everywhere...Whenever there is a sale and we run into a Fatwalleter just throw Glitter on them...or if somebody doesnt want to price check, Glitter!!!



but anyway, yea that lady needs to be a tad more patient, hopefully she doesnt end up leaving you a negative...

i had one that was complaining it was taking too long but she sent me a freaking e-check through paypal and then she told me she didnt know it would have to clear:roll: ...people are so dumb
 
Good For you man, When I worked at Babbage's back in the day this ass clown came in everyday BITCHING about why we didn't have Pokemon Blue in, 2 weeks go buy and he stops in EVERY DAY to bitch. So one day he comes in with the usual BS conspiracy theory about us not selling him the game because he's black. So I tell the guy "I will trade in my copy right now if you agree to NEVER come to this store again" He says yes , so I trade in my copy to the store via some computer clicks. I tell him I'll be right back as I walk to the back room, grab Pokemon Blue from my backpack, shove it up my ass and jump up and down for a second, and I kid you not put it back in the original box, wash my hands and go to hand it to the guy. He goes grabbing it with two hands embracing the box as if it where a long lost lover and yells "thanks suckers your store sucked anyways I'll shop at funcoland from now on" Morale of the story fuck assholes.
 
[quote name='javeryh']This sounds like one of those money-order scams - do you have cash in hand?[/quote]

I'm not too worried about it. 25 bucks for mario kart. I deposited right after the post office trip, but if she cancels it on me, I'll go bother ebay about it.

I'm also not too worried because she doesn't seem capable of higher order thought. Her reasoning capacity seems limited to "I want it," "I want it now," "why won't you talk to me," and "the post office tracker confirms delivery." Not much room in that brain for fraud.

I swear, I'd almost even prefer paypal frauds over idiots like her.
 
I applaud your patience with that WHEN ARE YOU GONNA SHIP IT? HAVE YOU SHIPPED IT YET? I HAVE ALREADY TYPED TWO SENTENCES crap. I've dealt with that once on ebay because a seller only took money order and kept emailing me everyday why he didn't get it yet, in full caps.
And wow, she has a kid.
 
[quote name='Michaellvortega']Good For you man, When I worked at Babbage's back in the day this ass clown came in everyday BITCHING about why we didn't have Pokemon Blue in, 2 weeks go buy and he stops in EVERY DAY to bitch. So one day he comes in with the usual BS conspiracy theory about us not selling him the game because he's black. So I tell the guy "I will trade in my copy right now if you agree to NEVER come to this store again" He says yes , so I trade in my copy to the store via some computer clicks. I tell him I'll be right back as I walk to the back room, grab Pokemon Blue from my backpack, shove it up my ass and jump up and down for a second, and I kid you not put it back in the original box, wash my hands and go to hand it to the guy. He goes grabbing it with two hands embracing the box as if it where a long lost lover and yells "thanks suckers your store sucked anyways I'll shop at funcoland from now on" Morale of the story fuck assholes.[/QUOTE]

LOL!!!!!!!!! You're my hero! :lol:
 
I hate buyers like that. It's really annoying when they say that they need it as soon as possible because it's for their kid's birthday when the seller is doing their best to get the item out as soon as possible. I have had people buy items on a Tuesday and need it for a gift for Saturday of the same week. I mean, I think it's great to use EBay to buy gifts when you can get a good deal on something but if I am buying something as a gift off of EBay, I buy it at least 3 - 4 weeks in advance so I know I will get it on time.
 
Instead of sending her an e-mail, I would write that up and send it to her via snail mail. Also, I would either include anthrax or some sort of letter bomb. Seriously, you'd be doing the world a favor.
 
[quote name='YoshiFan1']I hate buyers like that. It's really annoying when they say that they need it as soon as possible because it's for their kid's birthday when the seller is doing their best to get the item out as soon as possible. I have had people buy items on a Tuesday and need it for a gift for Saturday of the same week. I mean, I think it's great to use EBay to buy gifts when you can get a good deal on something but if I am buying something as a gift off of EBay, I buy it at least 3 - 4 weeks in advance so I know I will get it on time.[/QUOTE]

I order birthday/valentine cakes at bakery's on the phone and then leave the baker voice mails pertaining to why my cake isn't at my door within half a hour of ordering. If dominos can deliver me a XL pizza in 20 Min's why cant the baker make me a 3D shaped blue teddy bear with a white tummy cake holding a rose saying "I wuv you" in red icing dammit! The OP should have shipped some glitter cover poo to the bitch as it would be worth the neg feed back. I don't take that shit anymore and it's not below me to spend $100 to send a hardcore homo-erotic strip-a-gram to some kids birthday party to teach some MILTS(Mom Id Like To Slap) some manners.
 
Good For you man, When I worked at Babbage's back in the day this ass clown came in everyday BITCHING about why we didn't have Pokemon Blue in, 2 weeks go buy and he stops in EVERY DAY to bitch. So one day he comes in with the usual BS conspiracy theory about us not selling him the game because he's black. So I tell the guy "I will trade in my copy right now if you agree to NEVER come to this store again" He says yes , so I trade in my copy to the store via some computer clicks. I tell him I'll be right back as I walk to the back room, grab Pokemon Blue from my backpack, shove it up my ass and jump up and down for a second, and I kid you not put it back in the original box, wash my hands and go to hand it to the guy. He goes grabbing it with two hands embracing the box as if it where a long lost lover and yells "thanks suckers your store sucked anyways I'll shop at funcoland from now on" Morale of the story assholes.
Click to expand...

Thanks for reminding me why I usually try to avoid buying used. Even if that particular guy was a jerk, if he traded it in at a later date, the next owner would also gain a game tainted with ass.
 
I had one buyer last week first email me and ask if i accepted checks. Then 1 hour later asked when I would send out the game......

I told him that i only accepted Paypal or Money order, so then later he emailed back and said his mom sent me the MO.
Every day since then hes been asking if I've gotten the MO - the first time being the day after he sent it, halfway across the country. Nubs.
 
[quote name='Michaellvortega']Good For you man, When I worked at Babbage's back in the day this ass clown came in everyday BITCHING about why we didn't have Pokemon Blue in, 2 weeks go buy and he stops in EVERY DAY to bitch. So one day he comes in with the usual BS conspiracy theory about us not selling him the game because he's black. So I tell the guy "I will trade in my copy right now if you agree to NEVER come to this store again" He says yes , so I trade in my copy to the store via some computer clicks. I tell him I'll be right back as I walk to the back room, grab Pokemon Blue from my backpack, shove it up my ass and jump up and down for a second, and I kid you not put it back in the original box, wash my hands and go to hand it to the guy. He goes grabbing it with two hands embracing the box as if it where a long lost lover and yells "thanks suckers your store sucked anyways I'll shop at funcoland from now on" Morale of the story fuck assholes.[/quote]

...So just to "get even" with some annoying guy you stuck a Game Boy game up your ass? What the fuck is your problem?
 
[quote name='Genocidal']...So just to "get even" with some annoying guy you stuck a Game Boy game up your ass? What the fuck is your problem?[/quote]

Have you looked at his avatar?
 
[quote name='Genocidal']...So just to "get even" with some annoying guy you stuck a Game Boy game up your ass? What the fuck is your problem?[/QUOTE]

Good for him. Teach those assholes whats what and whos who. Another lesson...Don't bitch at people who serve/prepare you food and don't screw with people who sells games.
 
He shouldn't be sticking the damn game up his ass in the first place. If the customer was that annoying, make him leave. If I were his boss and found out, I'd have fired him right there, and I'd hate to have to tackle the health issues brought upon the store if supposed asshole founds out where the game has been.
 
OP's been updated with the idiot's response and mine. I'm now shopping for a mario kart game to shove up my behind and send anonymously. I'm thinking the DS version; it'd be easier on my rectum than the alternatives. I'm no doctor, but I'd be wary of sticking something as large as even a gameboy cart up there. You rip the lining of your colon, and you're in trouble.
 
Hey, sorry about your experience with that buyer, hope I don't have to deal with her next. People on ebay are real jerks. I sell a game one day and they want it the next day, or they want to pick it up, or they can't read a description or speak english. THEN I LOVE WHEN THEY CALL MY HOUSE. Ebay should not allow people to call your house! I also love when paypal let's people file a claim against you after you send them the item. So then you loose your money and your item. EVEN BETTER IS WHEN "FRAUDULENT FUNDS HAVE BEEN USED IN PAYPAL" Then your just s-o-l. The emails from people are rediculous, I get over 20 a day, wheres my item? will a ps2 game work on my xbox, my favorite: what does pal mean? - I thnk for every dumb email I get I'm going to start shoving games up my ass and my dog's ass before I mail them out.

You should report that ass to ebay under harassmeant charges and see what they do. At least you weren't cussed up a tree like I was by 1 ebayer.

Anyway, goodluck in the future, maybe start putting buying restrictions on people like with -1 feedback and unpaid item stikes. I did and it kinda helps. Except for selling metal gear solid subsistence LE 3 and saga dvd for $177.00 (never got paid ) then relisting it and never got paid the $200.00 it sold for the second time (it was started at .99). Talk about being pissed off! 2 ebayers with (0) feedbacks won and then paid for games they found cheeper from other ebayers.

I will try my luck with a third listing.

-Peace

shes_history
 
I spent an hour before going to sleep last night having an e-mail conversation with this woman, and guess what folks- there's hope yet for mankind.

I got her to stop using the caplock!
 
...and that's why I only accept PayPal on eBay.

:cold:

Sure, I might lose a bidder here or there, but avoiding the headache that is the USPS and money orders makes it all worth it.
 
people are dumb... i filed two non paying bidder reports after a week of waiting. Still no response for ever, and the bitch sends me a paypal payment on the second week, friday, when I could finally close the complaint and get my money back. What a fucking bitch. Same thing with someone who told me it took 2 money orders before one finally getting to me yesterday.... I hate new ebayers. If I get negged ill go ape shit.
 
[quote name='Michaellvortega']Good For you man, When I worked at Babbage's back in the day this ass clown came in everyday BITCHING about why we didn't have Pokemon Blue in, 2 weeks go buy and he stops in EVERY DAY to bitch. So one day he comes in with the usual BS conspiracy theory about us not selling him the game because he's black. So I tell the guy "I will trade in my copy right now if you agree to NEVER come to this store again" He says yes , so I trade in my copy to the store via some computer clicks. I tell him I'll be right back as I walk to the back room, grab Pokemon Blue from my backpack, shove it up my ass and jump up and down for a second, and I kid you not put it back in the original box, wash my hands and go to hand it to the guy. He goes grabbing it with two hands embracing the box as if it where a long lost lover and yells "thanks suckers your store sucked anyways I'll shop at funcoland from now on" Morale of the story fuck assholes.[/quote]

so you shoved a game into your ass? how is that getting back at the customer? your ass was breached....
great reasoning genius.
 
[quote name='mbstuff']I spent an hour before going to sleep last night having an e-mail conversation with this woman, and guess what folks- there's hope yet for mankind.

I got her to stop using the caplock![/quote]

:applause::applause::applause: Congrats! Good luck on not getting the negative.
 
I have no problems sending dog shit through the mail to her from my address....well someone elses near me. I live in MI. So yeah, let me know and the poop will ship.
 
I would've poured some fine sugar in there with the game, left a note in hebrew, and labeled the return address "Al'Habiq Jihad" if I was in that sort of situation.

I applaud you, sir.
 
You should email her hourly now. "Did you get the game yet?" "It's priority mail, did it get there yet?" "Do you have it yet, I send it out!" See if she likes it.
 
[quote name='shes_history']EVEN BETTER IS WHEN "FRAUDULENT FUNDS HAVE BEEN USED IN PAYPAL" Then your just s-o-l. [/QUOTE]

Do you use delivery confirmation when mailing out items? I have had 2 of those fradulent funds reversals from Paypal and both times I got my money back from Paypal when I gave them the tracking #.
 
[quote name='Blade']I would've poured some fine sugar in there with the game, left a note in hebrew, and labeled the return address "Al'Habiq Jihad" if I was in that sort of situation.
[/QUOTE]
Yes, because Hebrew is the official language of Islamic terrorists all around the world :roll:
 
[quote name='b0bx13']Yes, because Hebrew is the official language of Islamic terrorists all around the world :roll:[/quote]

I think you think you're trying to be intelligent by insulting me. Thanks for noticing. :)
 
[quote name='nickmad']so you shoved a game into your ass? how is that getting back at the customer? your ass was breached....
great reasoning genius.[/QUOTE]


i guess this was missunderstood, The cart rested between my checks,there was NO brokeback moment between me and balbasaur
 
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