Jericho - I’ve made a career out of doing what none of you failures could ever do. I’ve made an art form out of accomplishing the impossible. I’ve stared down the barrel of an insurmountable odd time after time and yet I always come out on top. I did it when I defeated Austin and the Rock in the same night to become the first undisputed champion, when I embarrassed HBK In his ladder match to become world champion again, and last week, I did what few have ever done - I drove the phenom to his knees and defeated the Undertaker! I BEAT THE UNDERTAKER! I BEAT HIM! I BEAT THE UNDERTAKER! I proved that the dead man is only a man! And if that wasn’t enough to cement my legendary status, this Sunday, I’m gonna beat the odds again when I enter the Chamber for the 6th time and become world champion for the 6th time. Average people, when faced with adversities, curl up and hide and lie, hide behind delusions of grandeur - I don’t hide behind anything because I don’t have to. I deal with reality, and In reality, on Sunday, I’m coming out of the chamber as the new… (Edge comes out)
Edge - Ya know Chris, it’s refreshing to hear that you understand what a big deal it is to beat the Undertaker. I know, I’ve done it. It’s like sinking a hole in one or winning the Stanley Cup or knocking out Ali. But it’s actually bigger than all those things, and you did it.
Jericho - Of course I did - because I’m the best in the world at what I do.
Edge - You saying that illustrates the real problem with you, and your clip didn’t exactly show everything. Don’t make any mistake - I didn’t do it to help you, I did it because Taker kicked me in the face. Chris, you’re not as good as you think you are. As a matter of face, I don’t think you would’ve beaten him If I hadn’t speared him first.
Jericho - You should be as concerned about the past as you are about the future. I’m going to win the chamber. And when I do, do yourself a favor and stay away from me, please. Face the Raw chamber match winner, but stay away from me. When you’re near me, BAD THINGS HAPPEN. And if you continue to prod, I’m not just going to beat you - I’M GOING TO HURT YOU!
Edge - You know, Chris, the more I hear your voice BUZZING IN MY HEAD SAYING THE SAME THINGS OVER AGAIN, THE MORE I WANT TO KNOW THAT HOLIER-THAN-THOU LOOK OFF YOUR FACE. So Chris, I hope you win the chamber so I can do it! You shouldn’t be concerned about hat I can do to you in the future, you should be concerned with what I can do to you right now!
Striker - ON SUNDAY, KANE WILL FACE THE UNDEFEATED INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, DREW MCINTYRE!
Grisham - How about the DETERMINED AGGRESSION from Kane?!
Striker - 40% of all IC champions have gone onto be either WWE or World champions. 20% have become Hall of Famers!
(after the IC title match is JUST ANNOUNCED)Striker - MANY FEEL THAT MCINTYRE’S UNDEFEATED INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE REIGN IS OVER ON SUNDAY!
Striker - Baretta and Croft are much like all of the new generation - more concerned with posting on Twitter and WWE Universe.com than educating themselves! They’re the Dudebusters! And they love video games - improves hand-eye coordination. They’re around each other 24/7 like all good tag teams.
Grisham - I heard that Baretta’s mother drives them around all the time.
Grisham - They also broke their own hackey sack record.
Striker - People still play hackey sack?
(on Baretta/Croft)Striker - I see a little bit of the Rock and Roll Express and Brainbusters in there.
Grisham - Friday night’s usually their gaming night - they’re fitting us into their schedules.
Grisham - “Brooklyn’s Beast” Shad Gaspard!
Striker - “THE BIG CHIN” HIMSELF, ANTONIO INOKI - WELCOME TO THE WWE HALL OF FAME!
Morrison - Josh, I’ve been waiting for a shot at the World Heavyweight title ever since I waited in line for hours with other potential future sports entertainers to prove if I was tough enough!
Striker - WWE is like the snow - some walk in existing footsteps, and others walk their own path. Like CM Punk.
Punk - I am a humble, humble man, but let’s face It - I AM THE GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO YOU PEOPLE AND YOU KNOW IT! (fans boo) Sure, only the enlightened few can walk in my precious footsteps, but whether you like It or don’t like it, you are all a part of my crusade! (fans chant you suck) And for those who choose to live in darkness and stand In my way, I find your lack of faith disturbing! YOU CONFUSE YOUR DEFIANCE WITH POWER. YOU SACRIFICE YOUR CLARITY FOR CHEAP THRILLS, AND JUST LIKE FIVE OTHER SUPERSTARS LOCKED IN THE CHAMBER WITH MYSELF, I WILL CRUSH YOUR SPIRIT AND I WILL BREAK YOU, TURN YOU UPSIDE DOWN, AND POUR WHAT LITTLE HEART YOU HAVE LEFT ONTO THE FLOOR AND FILL THE VOID WITH STRAIGHT EDGE! You can pretend you don’t have a problem, but you’re lying to yourselves. STRAIGHT EDGE MEANS I AM BETTER THAN YOU. I WILL PROVE IT TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU, JUST LIKE LAST WEEK WHEN I PUT REY TO SLEEP! I AM FUELED BY A FIRE INSIDE OF ME, AND THIS SUNDAY, I WILL BECOME FOUR-TIME STRAIGHT EDGE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! AND MY CRUSADE WILL BE BURNING BRIGHT - BECAUSE YOU LOST SOULS IN THE WWE UNIVERSE WILL HAVE A SAVIOR AND HIS NAME WILL BE CM PUNK!
Striker - R-Truth’s entire life has been about overcoming obstacles and living life the right way!
Striker - Morrison has been going Bs to the wall lately!
Grisham - Khali does the…Khali shuffle!
Striker - This match Is simple - guys on guys, girls on girls, and guys can’t get in there with girls no matter how much they want.
Striker - On Tuesday, Matt Hardy will coach a South African - and it’s not Col. DeBeers or one of the Simpsons boys!
Striker - She’s Nattie by nature, and naughty by choice!
Matt - Maria, I’ve won matches, and lost matches - AND IT DOESN’T CHANGE THE KINDA PERSON YOU ARE IN HERE!
(to Simply Flawless)Matt - Children, would you PLEASE grow up?!
Striker - There is something curious about Batista - I think he knows something the rest of the WWE Universe doesn’t!
Striker - Edge suffered a ruptured Achilles tendon - an injury that takes people out for 12 months. EDGE BEING THE WORLD-CLASS ATHLETE AND SUPERSTAR THAT HE IS WAS BACK IN LESS THAN 7!