[quote name='berzirk']Lulz to those with no kids that think 4-5 years old is magically an easy age
My 5 year old, and nearly 3 year old would disagree with you on that. My oldest is definitely waaaay active, ringleader at school, gets kids to follow him and do disruptive things. He's a walking injury, but too stubborn to admit when he really gets hurt. My daughter can refuse to communicate at times, just screaming. Then other times she won't stop babbling. It's not unusual during the course of the week to have one or both wake up at 1am just flat out pissy and crying.
A couple nights ago, things were looking good, wife and I were going to have familiar relations, we wander in to the bedroom, and apparently earlier in the evening my 5 year old had decided to come down from his room and sleep in our bed, then started throwing a fit when I told him I would carry him upstairs to his room. He stayed, and no nookie for me. The wife is 5.5 months pregnant with number 3, so we're getting close to diaper time and all night feedings again.
The kicker-I wouldn't change a single one of those things, sincerely, for any amount of money. If someone offered me billions to magically be 20 and single instead of 30+ and married with 2.5 (heh, almost literally) kids, I'd turn them down before the sentence was finished. Kids can push you to insanity, and save you from it, all in the same day. For those who haven't experienced it, having your baby fall asleep on you for the first time, melts any heart. Looking at their faces, and seeing them grow, and learn...it's invigorating because the creativity, innocence, and curiosity are all traits that we lose as we get older.
It's not for everyone, and there are certainly horrible parents who should have never had kids, but for me, I can't imagine life without them, and wouldn't want to.[/QUOTE]
So awesome... Thank you for this. We're 28 weeks pregnant with (fraternal) twin boys. Unlike some in here, I never had reservations. I always knew I wanted kids (I don't understand how someone who wants kids gets married to someone who doesn't. Didn't it come up beforehand? Seems like a pretty big oversight.)
You should never have kids because someone else wants you to, to save a relationship, because it "seems like fun" or for any other reason than because you fundamentally want to have kids and love them to the best of your ability. I know a huge chunk of parenthood is going to suck, and it's going to make my life much harder in many ways. But the rewards are easily worth it to me.
A lot of you know my story. Tried for well over a year to have kids with no success and learned that I had testicular cancer and was told I would never father children. Fought the cancer, beat it, and almost five years after we first tried to conceive, through the miracle of modern science and the grace of God, we beat the infertility too (in spades). I count my blessings every day.
That said, yeah, of course the idea of surrendering so much (all?) of your personal time/space/sanity and fundamentally having your life changed is scary. But in my experience, that change generally not only makes life more interesting, it can also make you a better person and allow you to experience things that you never even knew you were missing. You give up some things, sure, but you gain so much more.
Hell, when my wife and I first moved in together, I'd wanted a dog for years, but was afraid to get one for fear I wasn't responsible enough, my apartment wasn't big enough, I'd have to walk him and pay all this money for the vet and food, and what if he pees on stuff, blah blah blah. Then one day she said, "Hey, let's get a dog." And we did. And it was awesome. Even when he did pee on stuff (like in the middle of our bed, with us both standing right in front of him -- which we still laugh about 10 years on). And it was the same thing when it came time to get a house. And then moving out of state. And then moving back. And getting a second dog. And so on. Each time there's this trepidation, even knowing that what's over the horizon is almost certainly going to be better. And having kids is pretty much the ultimate instance of that. I'm ready for it....I think.
[quote name='nasum']what is it called when you're stuck in a slow lane, change over to a faster lane, only to have the previous lane start picking up pace? It's someone's name and Law. It's almost like the application of irony. I can't for the life of me remember it right now...[/QUOTE]
Whoa, dude. Lay off the peyote.
