Men, women and phsyical violence.

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MSI Magus

MSI Magus

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I hate getting involved in other peoples business. You can yell and fight and scream on the front lawn all you want and frankly I am not even interested in what your drama is about. Its not my business. But and this is a big BUT(heh big but)you are not allowed to physically touch a woman in any aggressive way. My neighbors were just going at it and I wasn't worried about it, but when I stepped outside to bring the dogs in they came out of their house and I saw the guy grab the girl by the wrist and pull her to him as he yelled. Even if he isnt hitting her(yet?)thats far outside my comfort zone....

Thankfully the cops showed up when they did because when the guy saw me he pulled the chick in to the back yard where I couldnt see her. I thought I was going to have to physically go over there vs just yelling across the street and making my presence and how uncomfortable with the physical contact I was known.

This incident as well as my tuss with Dohdoh yesterday over sexism in America has me curious what everyone else here thinks about sexism and physical violence. When should a man get involved in a scuffle between another man and a woman? Should he even get involved at all? If it was two men would you react differently? What if its the reverse and a woman hits a man, how would you react then. And

Personally you can clearly see from the above I am extremely uncomfortable with violence towards women and would get involved the second things got serious. If it were two guys id wait for the first blow, try and break it up and if I couldn't I would call the cops(after warning them I was calling). If it were a woman hitting a man, again id try and break it up and make it clear I am calling the cops if I couldn't break it up.

What do you guys feel about this touchy subject?
 
Well being the good samaritan is good way to get your ass beat in these situations. If you see a woman grabbed by 4 guys and pulled into an alleyway, you may be better off calling the cops instead of playing Bruce Lee. If you witness domestic violence at an extreme level then report it -- yanking an arm really isn't that bad. Many couples have an understanding of each other where certain levels of physical violence are acceptable, and that's part of how they communicate. When it comes to punching/beating though, I'd say that crosses the line of our society.

Over-zealous chivalry is something that annoys me, personally. I agree that hitting a woman is wrong, but don't be so on edge about the smallest things, like what you just described.
 
In Toledo you are more likely to find yourself in trouble for "snitching" to the cops then you would be yelling "hey is everything ok" from 60 feet away the way I did. Also there is a big difference between 4 guys pulling a girl in to an ally and two neighbors fighting on their front lawn. Though in that situation id call the cops but still go in to the ally(I am not about to let some woman possibly be raped while the cops spend 10 minutes getting there).
 
bitch shoulda' made that sandwich...

seriously though, how people relate to each other has nothing to do with you. Interjecting because you have a need to feel morally superior is not the answer. Rarely is a damsel ever truly in distress these days and it isn't like the "good ol' days" of the 50's and 60's where you could rightly and freely smack a ho' for not fetching your beer.
 
[quote name='nasum']bitch shoulda' made that sandwich...

seriously though, how people relate to each other has nothing to do with you. Interjecting because you have a need to feel morally superior is not the answer. Rarely is a damsel ever truly in distress these days and it isn't like the "good ol' days" of the 50's and 60's where you could rightly and freely smack a ho' for not fetching your beer.[/QUOTE]
No shit, and parental guidance wasn't called child abuse. Kids these days are little shits because the parent's hands are tied.
 
Why must every response be an attack here? Seriously how do you know that I needed to feel morally superior? Why can you not simply say that you disagree and state a reason why. People really are getting comical here in how aggressively they must disagree with each other.

Edit - Less thats sarcasm...sounds like it may be...but hard to tell online.
 
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I'd personally rather be a nuisance and interfere, potentially embarrass myself, maybe even get decked, on the off-chance that I prevented someone from getting hurt. I can understand non-interference for sure, but there are too many times in life when folks just stand by and watch. It can be hard to tell which situation is which, but I'd rather err on the side of interfering needlessly than go in my house and find out later that it escalated and someone got their face bashed with a crowbar.
 
MSI:
It's a bit of both, but it isn't an attack against you either. Why do you want to interfere? Presumably because you feel it is wrong to hit women. You feel that is a high moral standing (mind you it is, then again it's wrong to use violence to solve any situation), ergo interjecting appeases your moral standing (by providing protection for the damsel) as well as serves your ego (I'm better than that guy because I don't lay hand afoul upon the ladies).
 
[quote name='nasum']MSI:
It's a bit of both, but it isn't an attack against you either. Why do you want to interfere? Presumably because you feel it is wrong to hit women. You feel that is a high moral standing (mind you it is, then again it's wrong to use violence to solve any situation), ergo interjecting appeases your moral standing (by providing protection for the damsel) as well as serves your ego (I'm better than that guy because I don't lay hand afoul upon the ladies).[/QUOTE]

I dont object to the appeasing a moral standard, I do object to the ego part though. Its wrong of you to assume that anyone that does this is doing it to satisfy an ego. Unless you know someone you shouldnt toss that judgement out.
 
If there's a pattern of abuse over time, then I don't see why an intervention would be problematic. If you can't handle the situation on your own, then it's probably a good time to call the cops.
 
Hmm, if a woman gets hit I wouldn't intervene unless there is a chance she could get permanently injured. Same with a dude. My mother was a special lady who took all of the high regards society tries to force upon men straight out of me with her psycho.
 
I think if there is serious bodily harm, you get involved. Otherwise, at most you yell over to make sure everything is OK, but probably go inside and call the cops. Let them sort it out. The guy is going to get reprimanded regardless of who started the squabble, but it's better than you potentially escalating the situation when nobodies life is at risk.

If it's a serious attack-the guy is punching the woman, knocks her down, kicking her, all that, then maybe you run over to get closer and tell them you're calling the cops. It serves as a distraction, and might give the woman enough time to get away.

If two dudes are duking it out, I'm staying the hell out of it, unless one of them is in a bad position and getting severely pummeled, then I'm calling the cops. Same policy if two girls are fighting.
 
I wouldn't get involved - most I'd do is call the police if I really thought someone was going to be hurt. It has been way too long since I punched someone in the face as hard as I could though.
 
As good as your intentions are, you're likely to make things worse. Call the cops and let them handle it - they actually have some training to deal with these situations.

Think about it this way - all you saw was the guy grab the woman's wrist. Maybe you judged the situation correctly, but also maybe she just hit him and he was looking to defend himself. Maybe a thousand things you don't know.

I knew a guy who married a bipolar chick, when she went off her meds she was always doing crazy shit to him like slapping him hard across the face or pouring soup over his head, all for stuff like forgetting the umbrella. He said the worst part were the guys who would come over and play Dudley Doright in a situation they knew nothing about.

BTW I believe there was some well-liked CAG who died trying to break up a knife fight between two chicks (I'm sure someone remembers what I'm talking about) Something to think about the next time you get the urge to play Batman.
 
[quote name='camoor']As good as your intentions are, you're likely to make things worse. Call the cops and let them handle it - they actually have some training to deal with these situations.

Think about it this way - all you saw was the guy grab the woman's wrist. Maybe you judged the situation correctly, but also maybe she just hit him and he was looking to defend himself. Maybe a thousand things you don't know.

I knew a guy who married a bipolar chick, when she went off her meds she was always doing crazy shit to him like slapping him hard across the face or pouring soup over his head, all for stuff like forgetting the umbrella. He said the worst part were the guys who would come over and play Dudley Doright in a situation they knew nothing about.

BTW I believe there was some well-liked CAG who died trying to break up a knife fight between two chicks (I'm sure someone remembers what I'm talking about) Something to think about the next time you get the urge to play Batman.[/QUOTE]

I like how many of you are not answering the question I put forward and instead wrongly judging the situation I wa in.....guess I shouldn't be surprised at the politics board though. Anyways, again I didn't even cross the street. As I said before I was a good 60 feet away and all I did was make it clear I did not approve of getting physical.

Again, next time instead of judging ,e based on the small bit of info you have how about saving the comments and answering the question put forward. How do you handle violence against women, women hitting men etc.
 
[quote name='MSI Magus']Again, next time instead of judging ,e based on the small bit of info you have how about saving the comments and answering the question put forward. How do you handle violence against women, women hitting men etc.[/QUOTE]

First, you say you don't think we should judge a situation based on a small bit of info - then, give us a small bit of info and want us to pass judgement on it. :D

I'd be safe in saying that most of us likely believe there's not one quick-and-dirty answer for most/all situations. So, without directly being involved in the situation, we can't really tell you want we'd like to do. Additionally, one never really knows how they're going to react to a situation when it is in front of them - that makes it doubly hard really answer your question.
 
The (admittedly, relatively few) situations where I've stepped in were fairly complicated (not complicated as in Israeli/Palestinian complicated, but still complicated). I don't feel I could do them justice, nor do I feel it's really my place to tell stories about my friends and neighbors, even more so when, for the majority of the situation, I only have an outside view.

When I step in, obviously, I feel that I'm in the right in doing so and I'm ready to be judged for my actions in doing it. Otherwise, I ring up the police and let them handle it.
 
[quote name='MSI Magus']I hate getting involved in other peoples business. You can yell and fight and scream on the front lawn all you want and frankly I am not even interested in what your drama is about. Its not my business. But and this is a big BUT(heh big but)you are not allowed to physically touch a woman in any aggressive way. My neighbors were just going at it and I wasn't worried about it, but when I stepped outside to bring the dogs in they came out of their house and I saw the guy grab the girl by the wrist and pull her to him as he yelled. Even if he isnt hitting her(yet?)thats far outside my comfort zone....

Thankfully the cops showed up when they did because when the guy saw me he pulled the chick in to the back yard where I couldnt see her. I thought I was going to have to physically go over there vs just yelling across the street and making my presence and how uncomfortable with the physical contact I was known.

This incident as well as my tuss with Dohdoh yesterday over sexism in America has me curious what everyone else here thinks about sexism and physical violence. When should a man get involved in a scuffle between another man and a woman? Should he even get involved at all? If it was two men would you react differently? What if its the reverse and a woman hits a man, how would you react then. And

Personally you can clearly see from the above I am extremely uncomfortable with violence towards women and would get involved the second things got serious. If it were two guys id wait for the first blow, try and break it up and if I couldn't I would call the cops(after warning them I was calling). If it were a woman hitting a man, again id try and break it up and make it clear I am calling the cops if I couldn't break it up.

What do you guys feel about this touchy subject?[/QUOTE]

You ask what we think about this touchy subject in a somewhat confusing way, and get mad when people answer your question? You give us three touchy subjects, a situation you found yourself in and were unsure how to approach the touchy situation, your allusion to sexism in the situation that your recent conversations with doh, and finally back down to a hypothetical and how you would would handle said hypothetical. What answers did you want? Vindication for your actions and what the group on vs thinks about it? The inherent sexism in hitting a woman and there being no consequences for the alternative? or maybe our thoughts on a hypothetical and how we either approve or disapprove of your hypothetical actions or if we would have handled your hypothetical differently. Your question was not really focused and as such you got the answers your post deserved. Don't be mad when some of us misunderstand what question out of many you were looking for.

[quote name='MSI Magus']I like how many of you are not answering the question I put forward and instead wrongly judging the situation I wa in.....guess I shouldn't be surprised at the politics board though. Anyways, again I didn't even cross the street. As I said before I was a good 60 feet away and all I did was make it clear I did not approve of getting physical.

Again, next time instead of judging ,e based on the small bit of info you have how about saving the comments and answering the question put forward. How do you handle violence against women, women hitting men etc.[/QUOTE]

So what question did you want answered out of the many you alluded to and asked?
 
Show me where I asked for comments on any of those subjects. I imagine you can't meanwhile I can show where I have repeatedly rephrased it in the simplest way, how do you handle situations where it looks like a man may get violent with a woman, a woman with a man etc etc. Very very simple yet Larry ignored to focus on douchebagesque insults about the way it was perceived I handled it as well as a ton of comments about how I am looking for moral vindication(from people online whom I largely don't respect anymore).

I'll just close the topic next chance I get(I'm on my iPad). I simply thought it was an interesting topic and for once since there is no red blue line on this issue there may have been some real discussion vs the same childish insults...gues I overestimated VS once again.

P.S I was ever angry, just sad and disappointed how aggressive people feel the need to be.
 
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