Pre-Show Ad - ANOTHER SUPERSTAR HAS CROSSED THE LINE! DON’T MISS THE FIRST 10 MINUTES OF THIS HISTORIC TNA IMPACT!
Tenay - ALL THE CLUES, FROM THE TRADEMARK BLACK TOWEL, THE 13 NUMBER, AND THE FTW LOGO LED US TO SOLVING THE MYSTERY!
Taz - History lesson - many years ago I wrestled for a promotion called ECW. And during my time, unfortunately, I sustained some career-shortening spinal injuries which prevented me from wrestling! So the bottom line is that was cut short for me, and I called hundred of matches for the WWE as a color commentator. But, as cool as that was, I felt like there was more I could do, so one night I filck on TNA Wrestling. So I watch and I see this untapped force loaded with cred and potential and I swear to God, it took me back a decade - what I saw was the second coming of Taz! What I saw was Samoa Joe! Even though Joe and myself had a lot in common, there’s a difference - Joe would show remorse, where I was not capable of that! So I reached out to Joe, had a conversation with him and said that you wanna win titles and get money - not be Mr. popular. So next thing ya know, I become the teacher, he’s the student and he’s on everybody’s radar! And the one man that pursued the most aggression to get his services was the 13-time world champion - Kurt Angle. For that, Joe and myself are forever indebted to him and the prestigious Main Event Mafia. So here’s the deal - tonight, Joe brings some more gold to the Mafia. Tonight, he becomes the TNA X Division Champion! I got a message for Homicide - beat Joe if you can BROTHA, BUT SURVIVE IF HE LETS YOU!
DW - When the MEM got the gold, the knew they had to do it one at a time. They got the Legends and Tag belts, and I’ve heard “what about the other belts, aren’t they important to the Mafia? YOU BET THEY ARE. ONE AT A TIME!
(after an overhead Tazzplex)Tenay - I THINK THAT WAS A TRIBUTE TO HIS MENTOR!
DW - He’s going “there ya go, grasshopper!”
Tenay - THE! BIG! MAN! IS! BACK!
(during a Joe-Hernandez standoff)DW - IT’S TWO OF THE BIGGEST AND BADDEST ASSES IN TNA!
Tenay - It’s time for those of us who have been with TNA since the beginning to face the music…
Angle - The MEM and TNA Management are willing to work together to give you the best possible show!z
DW - HE’S SO FOR THE TEAM!
Angle - What would happen if the MEM left TNA? YOU’D HAVE A BUNCH OF IDIOTS RUNNING THE TITANIC INTO THE ICEBERG! TNA NEEDS THE MEM!
DW - You better believe we do…
Angle - With Jeff Jarrett at home…and Sting licking his wounds, there’s only one person left to address - Mick Foley. What does Mick really do? I mean, let’s be honest, he’s lost total control. He lets the inmates run the asylum - he’s not the wrestler he once was, and he’s taken up much-needed office space in the back.
Foley - I said that Mick Foley tappin’ wasn’t gonna happen…and well, you made me tap. After Sunday, I wanted to get away from it all - days, weeks, months - who knows!? Until I heard about you messing around with the TNA front office - conning them into thinking that TNA is worthless without the Mafia. When you formed, I said this is the greatest assemblage of champions in one ring - and on Sunday, you all backed it up. We all dropped the ball - AJ, Roode, Storm, and no one dropped it more than I did. As fara s me not being the same wrestler, hey, for 10 minutes, I WAS THE WRESTLER I USED TO BE! AND I RAN OUTTA GAS AND MAYBE GUTS, and you were the better man that night, but the fact that you’re a 13 time world champ means you know what it’s like to have a bad day on at least 12 different occasions!
Angle - I could kick your ass right now, but I’m not going to, because there’s one last thing I want - see these keys? They’re the keys to your office. We’re gonna put these keys high up ON A POLE, and all you have to do to get your office back is climb your sprained-ankled-ass up the pole and grab the keys! Do that, and the office is yours! And you will save what little dignity you have. Mick, or should I say, old tapper, I’ll see you later tonight.
Tenay - NOT ONLY DO WE HAVE THE FIRST TITLE DEFENSES OF NASH AND THE STEINER/BOOKER TEAM, BUT WE’LL HAVE ANGLE VERSUS FOLEY WITH FOLEY’S OFFICE KEYS AT STAKE!
Williams - TONIGHT, ALL NATIONS UNITE! (camera cuts immediately to Tenay and DW)
DW - WHEN THE MAFIA SAID THEY’D DEFEND THEIR TITLES, I THOUGHT THEY’D GO SOFT! HOW CAN HE DEFEND AGAINST RED!?
Tenay - I CAN’T BELIEVE HOW OVER THE TOP YOU ARE!
DW - IT’S NOT ABOUT THE SIZE OF THE DOG IN THE FIGHT, IT’S ABOUT THE FIGHT IN THE DOG!
Tenay - NASH WITH THE RAPID-FIRE KNEES TO RED! HE’S EXPLODING THAT… EXPLOITING THAT SIZE WITH EXPLOSIVE BLOWS!
(after being bealed)DW - WOW, WATCH RED FLY!
(after Red flips over after the jacknife)DW - WOWY COW!
Borash YOUR LAPTOP YOU’RE WRITING YOUR NEW BOOK ON, THE TWEAK AND TWEAK PICTURE!? YOU’RE PUTTING IT ALL ON THE LINE TONIGHT!?
Foley - HE CAN TAKE MY OFFICE, NOT THE PICTURE! KEY’S ON A POLE!? WHY NOT DO EVERYTHING THIS WAY!? OBAMA-MCCAIN - PUT THE PRESIDENCY ON A POLE! TONIGHT, I CLIMB THE STUPID POLE TO GET THE KEYS TO MY OFFICE!
Tenay - JUST THREE MATCHES IN, AND WE’RE ALREADY AT OUR THIRD TITLE MATCH ON THE SHOW!
DW - You know that math you like to do? Well, Rocco and Sally Boy have about a 400 pound weight advantage! AND ALL THAT EXPERIENCE! WHAT’S KURT ANGLE THINKING LETTING THEM POSSIBLY LOSE THE TITLES!?
Tenay - YOU’RE JUST SO OVER THE TOP!
EY - Mick, I need to talk to you…
Foley - I’m looking at an invisible pole and I’m climbing it in my mind - what’s more important than that?
Lauren - Why even be in this knockouts battle royale?
Tara - $50,000...I don’t need it, but I know a lot of charities that could use it. The Maim Evem…Mafia, whatever it is, doesn’t have the you know what to make me their biyatch!
Tenay - COULD YOU IMAGINE IF AWESOME KONG WAS IN THE MAFIA?!
DW - While you’re dreaming of Kong, I’m dreaming of the Beautiful People!
Nash - Last one standing will be the MEM’s Chosen One. I put up 50 grand - this is a day of my pay!
Tenay - CAN YOU IMAGINE IF KONG JOINED THE MAFIA!?
Nash - I don’t even think the big bad booty daddy’s ready for that.
(after ODB’s eliminated ass over teakettle)DW - That’s a big booty right there.
Nash - OBGYN movement there.
Nash - If I’m gonna pick one of them, I’m gonna hit…pick Tara!
(after Traci wins)Nash - IT’S THE HOME OF THE D-CUPS! I’M OUTTA HERE!
Love - WE SHOULD BE SERVICING THE MAFIA! HELLO!?
Sky - IT’S A FRIGGIN’ CONSPIRACY! FIRST IT’S THE DISGUSTING RODENT! AND NOW THE CROOKED REF!
Lauren - You mean Traci or what you did on Sunday?
Rayne - WE DIDN’T PULL ANYTHING ON SLICK!
Sky - I looked at the guest list for this conversation and NOPE, YOU’RE NOT ON IT! SHUT UP, LAUREN!
(after Sky knees Deaner in the sack)ODB - I HATE THOSE WHORES!
Deaner - THE DEANER DIAMONDS HAVE BEEN SHATTERED!
Penzer - THE TNA ORIGINALS! (Daniels, AJ, EY, and Beer Money come out to no entrance video and a generic theme)
DW - Kiyoshi and I were out having dinner last night and he told me that he’s gonna really impress here in TNA.
(after EY piledrives AJ)Tenay - TEHRE IS AN UNWRITTEN LOCKER ROOM CODE THAT YOU DON’T USE THE PILEDRIVER! AND HE USED THE PILEDRIVER!
Tenay - OH THAT JUST HAD TO PO MICK FOLEY!
JB - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I’VE SEEN SOME THINGS IN MY DAY….
EY - I’M ELITE - WE’RE THE WORLD ELITE! EVERYTHING IN TNA IS GONNA CHANGE FOREVER! (Foley jumps them)
Penzer - This is your TNA Impact feature contest - a keys on a pole match!
Tenay - THIS IS SO DAMN IMPORTANT TO THE FUTURE OF TNA AND EVERYONE THAT WORKS HERE!
Ad Guy - THE GOD OF THUNDER, BOBBY LASHLEY RETURNS OT TNA NEXT WEEK ON THE 200TH EDITION OF IMPACT!
Tenay - FOLEY TOSSES ASIDE THE SOCK! THAT SHOWS YOU HOW CONFIDENT HE IS THAT HE CAN WIN!
Angle - FOLEY, YOUR NEXT CARD WILL BE YOUR LAST CARD!
DW - ANGLE’S PLAYING THE LASHLEY CARD! AND THAT’S WORTH FOUR ACES!
Tenay - THE MMA STAR, THE WORLD WRESTLING CHAMPION IS TAKING IT TO THE MAFIA! TAKE THAT DON WEST!
iing every possible thing up in the intro. My God this was horrible. Both her intro and the match. Please fire Chavo, or do something to end this feud. The divas tag was better than I expected it to be. Both Kelly and Gail did some neat-looking innovative moves (I especially dug Gail's cross body press into the corner), and I'm looking forward to the F4W Raw review audio show to hear Bryan's analysis on Kelly's gymnastic moves. 
