DW - Last week, Mick learned two lessons. One, don’t trust Jeff Jarrett, and two, if you mess with the Main Event Mafia, you’ll end up wrapped in barb wire.
Foley - I feel naked without the TNA Title, and I know that none of you want to see me naked, so this Sunday, I’m gonna do my best to get the TNA Title around this shoulder! But there is so much at stake than just a piece of hardware to be worn around - where the TNA Title goes, the power goes. If I’m able to regain the title I never really lost, the power in TNA goes another way.
Tenay - On Sunday, the history of TNA will be decided as the Main Event Mafia goes for the gold. Angle tries to retain the World title. Nash will try to win the Legends title, and Steiner and Booker T will try to win the TNA Tag Titles against Beer Money Inc. Kurt, look at me. You know I may not have much - I’m not much to look at and I have my limitations as a person. IT’S BEEN 18 YEARS SINCE 91 WHEN I TAPPED OUT AGAINST DORY FUNK JR AND I VOWED I’D NEVER FEEL THAT WAY AGAIN. If you can beat me, go ahead, because I’m not going to just look into the eyes of the greatest wrestler today, but possibly the greatest of all-time. To beat you, I’m gonna have to be better than I ever been - and to be honest, I’m not sure. Sometimes, I’m like the little engine that could, I think I can, but I don’t. If you’re thinking about me tappin’, it just won’t happen! You had the respect tonight to not have the Mafia out here tonight, and in three days, I ask that you extend that same courtesy. No Mafia - no Mick Foley security.
Angle - Mick, I run with the Mafia because of what we believe in. Ironically, you believe in the same things, except that we show no compassion. THIS IS A MAN’S GAME, NOT A BOY’S GAME! Mick, you have to do what you have to do to survive in this business - why do you think we’re so mad at the young punks!? THEY’RE OVERPAID, THEY CAN’T WORK BECAUSE THEY’VE GOT BLISTERS! YOU’VE WORKED THROUGH PAIN, THEY’RE CHANGING OUR WORLD! THAT’S WHAT THE MAIN EVENT MAFIA IS ABOUT. IT’S NOT JUST ABOUT MONEY! WE’RE TRYING TO HELP YOU AND JARRETT, AS WELL AS OURSELVES!
Sting - Did I just hear this right? You’re doing this for Mick and Jeff? WHAT A BUNCH OF BULL, KURT! IT’S THE SAME BUNCH OF BULL YOU FED ME! It wasn’t long before it was all about money and back stabbing! Mick, you’re right, there’s gonna be a lot that resolved at Victory Road - we’ll find out who runs TNA, but unfortunately Kurt, I have my own agenda as I take Joe and his handler up one side and down another here in the Impact Zone. But Sunday is Sunday! Mick, I need a huge favor! I’ve got some unfinished business, so tonight here in the Impact Zone, one last time, I want Kurt Angle.
DW - IS STING NUTS!? WHY WOULD HE WANT KURT?!
Foley - You know, Sting…I think…
Angle - WOAH! STING, MICK FOLEY SAYS YES! NOT ONLY THAT, THERE’S GONNA BE ONE SMALL TWEAK! IT’S GONNA BE IN THE SIX SIDES OF STEEL! YOU GOT IT, STING! YOU GOT YOUR FIGHT! AND IT WILL BE AGAINST THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALL-TIME AND THE THIRTEEN-TIME WORLD CHAMPION, KURT ANGLE!
DW - JOE’S BEATING THE HECK OUT OF RED, OBVIOUSLY HE DID SOMETHING TO MAKE JOE MAD BECAUSE WE KNOW HE WOULDN’T DO THIS UNPROVOKED!
Tenay - WHAT!? JOE’S NATION OF VIOLENCE CONTINUES!
DW - Red’s always been a smart-ass. I think Joe’s just teaching him a lesson.
Tenay - HE HASN’T SAID TWO WORDS HERE IN TNA!
DW - Sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how you look when you’re not saying it. That’s what ticked Joe off!
DW - Sharmell, what caused this problem?
Sharmell - Isn’t it obvious? SHE’S A BONY WHITE CHICK!
DW - Let’s be professional…
DW - Sharmell, you’ve been around for a few years, you know your way around the ring…
Jenna - SHE KNOWS HER WAY AROUND A LOT MORE THAN THAT!
DW - PROFESSIONAL!
(as Sojo advances)Jenna - PUT YOUR CHEETAH CLEAVAGE DOWN!
DW - PROFESSIONAL!
Tenay - We found out a lot about Suicide last week when we dissected his entrance music.
DW - YOU JUST GOTTA GET PAST YOUR INFATUATION WITH THE WHOLE “WHO IS SUICIDE” THING, MIKE! Go see my therapist - he’ll straighten you out!
Tenay - IF ANYONE’S BEEN INFATUATED WITH HIM, IT’S BEEN YOU AND YOUR BUDDIES, THE GUNS!
DW - That may be how it appears to the untrained eye, but in reality, things are very different.
(after a kick from Shelley on the outside)Tenay - BLATANT INTERFERENCE FROM SHELLEY!
DW - That’ll loosen the mask. Obviously we didn’t here it, but Suicide said something to Shelley. He’s like Red - he just doesn’t know when to shut up!
Tenay - HERE COMES HOMICIDE WITH HIS RECENTLY-REAQUIRED FEAST OR FIRED CASE!
(after Homicide cashes in his case and wins the X Title)Tenay - WAS THIS FAIR!? MAYBE NOT, BUT IT WAS WITHIN THE RULES!
Homicide - Lemme tell ya something snowflake, da rules said that I could cash the feast case anytime. BI.G. WE DID IT! VIVA PUERTO RICO!
Tenay - Is that a beekeeper’s suit?
DW - Velvet and I were Tweeting last night about this.
Tenay - I didn’t know you had a Twitter account!?
DW - Who said anything about Twitter?!
Tenay - Oh lord…
Love - Just for the record, I have filed a formal complaint with Peter. That’a P-E-T-E-A, whoever he is. I don’t know, against a certain new knockout trying to endanger me with a BIG FRIGGIN’ SPIDER!
DW - I hope this PETA guy gets to the bottom of this.
Tenay - P-E-T-A…
DW - I knew that.
Love - THERE’S NO ROOM FOR TARA IN TNA! THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT RECOGNIZE YOU WINNING AGAINST ME LAST WEEK. NO! NOPE! AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT WAS FLUKE! (fans chant you suck)
DW - YOU CUTHROAT FANS!
Love - IT WAS NEVER OFFICIAL, SO I’M STILL THE TNA KNOCKOUT CHAMPION! THERE WAS NO CONTRACT SIGNED! IT WAS NEVER OFFICIAL! BUT I WILL ONCE AGAIN MAKE IT OFFICIAL THIS SUNDAY AT VICTORY ROAD!
Tara - First of all, princess, this belt says I’m officially the new knockouts champion! Still can’t believe it? I’ll confirm it this Sunday in our rematch! As for Poison, don’t you worry your pretty little head - he likes dark places. Warm places… Got here early today…snuck in your dressing room, saw your cute outfit, and said…hey, great place for Poison to take a nap… I wouldn’t move to much. I bark…he bites!
DW - THAT HAIRY BEAST IS CRAWLING ALL OVER THAT PRECIOUS BODY INSIDE!
(after Alyssa spits her gum at Sarita)DW - Alyssa Flash isn’t interested in this girl from Canada, Mexico, Madagascar, or wherever else she’s from.
DW - I’ve always found that the best way to beat a high-flyer is to ground ‘em!
DW - In my neighborhood, we call that a curb stomp!
AJ - Kevin, last week, you said that you changed companies. You did - FOR THE WORSE! IT’S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY! I’D WRESTLE FOR FREE! AT VICTORY ROAD, YOU’VE CASHED YOUR LAST PAYCHECK!
Tenay - Joining us at the main event will be JEFF JARRETT!
DW - WHAT!? I mean great! I can’t wait to see the king of the mountain!
Tenay - Yeah…hummana, hummana, hummana! I can hear ya backtracking!
DW - I was talking with Booker and Steiner about how great the old days were when they were tag champs and how excited they are about a new era beginning for them!
(after a back stabber)DW - STORM STABS STEINER RIGHT IN THE BACK!
(after Steiner gets a 2 with a finger-point cover)DW - I THOUGHT HE HAD IT!
Tenay - ROODE LEAVES HIS FEET!
(after a Hart Attack with a spin wheel kick from Booker and Steiner)DW - SEE YA, WOULDN’T WANNA BE YA!
JB - On Sunday, you will face the team you invited into the Team 3D Invitational.
Devon - I guess that’s how those bitches roll across the pond! We thought they had it all - size, great bodies, but they lacked respect. We had the same problem with Beer Money until we took them to school. On Sunday, they will learn to abide by Team 3D’s rules!
Ray - You’d think after 22 World Tag titles and like the shirt says, a legacy, we’d have earned a little respect. We’re no longer the TNA Tag Team Champions because of the British Invasion - at Victory Road, we got one thing on our minds - REVENGE!
Brutus - Actually, we have something in common for once. We want it as well - we just got back from Foley’s office and signed the contracts.
Williams - However, we added some tweaks. The IWGP Tag Titles are on the line.
Tenay - IT ALL GETS SETTLED ONCE AND FOR ALL AT VICTORY ROAD!
Abyss - Lauren..I am so sorry for everything that’s happened. I promise you I’ll never let anyone hurt you again. Dr. Stevie, you tased me, kidnapped my bestest girl ever, and drugged me. THEY TREAT ANIMALS LIKE THAT! I KNOW CUZ I SAW A DOCUMENTARY. I AM NOT AN ANAIMAL, BUT I AM A PISSED OFF 350 POUND MONSTER. YOU KNOW, DR. STEVIE, FOR YEARS, YOU TAUGHT ME TO CONTROL MY LIFE THROUGH PAIN, SUFFERING, AND CARNAGE. WELL, DR. STEVIE, YOU FAILED MISERABLY. BECAUSE YOU SEE! I LIKE PAIN! (he rakes tacks across his arm) I LIKE SUFFERING! I LIKE CARNAGE! I LIKE TO INFLICT AS MUCH DAMAGE AS HUMALY POSSIBLE! THAT FEELS GOOD! DR. STEVIE! I DON’T’ NEED YOU ANYMORE! NO MORE THERAPY SESSIONS! I DON’T NEED THESE WHITES ANYMORE! I’VE WRITTEN A PRESCRITPION FOR YOU - IT’S FOR ONE MAJOR ASS-BEATING! WITH NO REFILLS! HEHEHEHEHEHE! AND DR. STEVIE! THIS SUNDAY NIGHT…HEHEHEHE WE’RE GONNA HAVE ONE LAST THERAPY SESSION TOGETHER! DON’T WORRY, DR. STEVIE…HEHEHEHEHE CUZ THIS ONE’S ON ME!
Penzer - LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FOUNDER OF TNA! JEFF JARRETT! (Jarrett then brings a guitar down with him to do commentary)
DW - What an honor it is to have you down here. YOU’RE THE FOUNDER OF TNA! I CAN SEE YOU STILL HAVE THE SCAR… Ii THINK THE BIG QUESTION IS THAT EVERYONE’S CONCERNED ABOUT - HOW’S THE HIDDEN HAMSTRING INJURY!?
Jarrett - You been treading on thin ice for months - you betta be careful or you’ll fall through.
Jarrett - This Sunday, the Mafia can win all the titles.
DW - You’re saying it and I’m thinking it.
Jarrett - SHUT UP, WEST. I’m sick of your smart ass.
Jarrett - The Legends title…Booker brought it with him to TNA, and AJ’s trying to bring prestige to it.
Jarrett - Beer Money, two homegrown guys. Roode from Team Canada and Storm from America’s Most Wanted have come together recently, but Booker and Steiner have the experience.
Jarrett - Angle knows one thing - how to get it done in the ring.
Jarrett - DAMN WEST! I DON’T NEED ANYMORE OF YOUR BUTT-KISSING!
DW - Right on!
Jarrett - Eric Young was a cornerstone of the Front Line - just like Joe was, and look what happened at Slammiversary.
(after a giant FTW video shows up on the screen and orange lights cover the ring)Tenay - I THINK IT’S OBVIOUS WHO THIS SYMBOLIZES BUT WE’LL FIND OUT FOR SURE ON SUNDAY!