n8rockerasu
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What it sounds like is that he set his guy up from the "Create Pro" screen...which basically just "pre-sets" your player and your different positions. Then, when he started Live the Life, he probably didn't notice that it defaults to Center (#14 is just the default number if you haven't set up that position...and if you haven't set up that position, it'll have a default handedness as well), and you have to scroll down and change it to the position you want to play. For that, yeah, you'll need to start your Live the Life over to get your desired position.(in regards to offline live the life, not drop ins)
For the position and handedness, it shouldn't ever change once you start, so that's weird. You'll have to restart if you want to change it because you can't change it once you start. As for the number, it will change yours if it's already taken by someone on the team. Fairly sure you can change to another vacant number, but I don't think you can make someone else give theirs up
As for drop-ins (online team play), they are a very very mixed bag depending on if you get matched up with people who care to play as a team at all. But if you get into a lobby where all that's left are positions you don't want to play, just back out and look for another game.