Pirates of the Carib...........PORN?!?!?!?

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Sofa King Kool

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Me and my brother were at the the local video store yesterday. We were just browsing through the many shelves of DVDs. I slowly walked by, looking at all the titles, Kung Fu Hustle, Harry Potter, Running Scared, Shrek, Pirates of the Carib.......PORN!?!?!This is what I thought I saw on the shelf:

Pirates_DVD.jpg


Then I did a double take and realized what I really saw was this:

dvd_pirates.jpg


HMMMM!?!?! GOLLY GEE!!! I WONDER WHAT RECENTLY POPULAR FRANCHISE THIS MOVIE IS TRYING TO CASH IN ON!!!! I CAN'T IMAGINE!!!

JESUS CHRIST!!! LOOK AT THE SIMILARITY IN THE COVER ART!!!

I burst out laughing when I noticed that it was a 3 Disc "Collector's Edition"

Heres the movie description:

**Directed by DP's multi-award winning director, Joone, "PIRATES" stars Jesse Jane, Carmen Luvana, Janine, Teagan Presley, Devon, Austyn Moore and Jenaveve Jolie. The most comprehensive and ambitious adult production to date, "PIRATES" is a monumental step towards the eminent merging of the entertainment industries. The entire production was shot and mastered on High Definition and combines over 300 special effects shots. With a professional script, an original music score and true Dolby digital 5.1 surround mix offering all of the production values of any Hollywood box office film while still encompassing the erotic feelings and sexual mores of an adult film. With 10 of the most arousing sex scenes in the history of erotic cinema, awe-inspiring Incan magic and grandiose sea battles, "PIRATES" is an action packed, electrifying and swashbuckling sex-tale. Presented on a triple disc set, "PIRATES" sets a new standard in adult production.**

Does anybody else think that this is absolutely ridiculous?
 
I may actually have to buy (or download) that at some point just to see if porn with Hollywood-range production costs is really any different.
 
[quote name='RawisJericho']Actually, I think what you saw was the R rated version that just came out a week or two ago.[/quote]

I don't think so. It had a big "ADULT" sticker above it.
 
[quote name='d00k']Me and my brother were at the the local video store yesterday. We were just browsing through the many shelves of DVDs. I slowly walked by, looking at all the titles, Kung Fu Hustle, Harry Potter, Running Scared, Shrek, Pirates of the Carib.......PORN!?!?!This is what I thought I saw on the shelf:

Pirates_DVD.jpg


Then I did a double take and realized what I really saw was this:

dvd_pirates.jpg


HMMMM!?!?! GOLLY GEE!!! I WONDER WHAT RECENTLY POPULAR FRANCHISE THIS MOVIE IS TRYING TO CASH IN ON!!!! I CAN'T IMAGINE!!!

JESUS CHRIST!!! LOOK AT THE SIMILARITY IN THE COVER ART!!!

I burst out laughing when I noticed that it was a 3 Disc "Collector's Edition"

Heres the movie description:

**Directed by DP's multi-award winning director, Joone, "PIRATES" stars Jesse Jane, Carmen Luvana, Janine, Teagan Presley, Devon, Austyn Moore and Jenaveve Jolie. The most comprehensive and ambitious adult production to date, "PIRATES" is a monumental step towards the eminent merging of the entertainment industries. The entire production was shot and mastered on High Definition and combines over 300 special effects shots. With a professional script, an original music score and true Dolby digital 5.1 surround mix offering all of the production values of any Hollywood box office film while still encompassing the erotic feelings and sexual mores of an adult film. With 10 of the most arousing sex scenes in the history of erotic cinema, awe-inspiring Incan magic and grandiose sea battles, "PIRATES" is an action packed, electrifying and swashbuckling sex-tale. Presented on a triple disc set, "PIRATES" sets a new standard in adult production.**

Does anybody else think that this is absolutely ridiculous?[/quote]

No, I actually own the dvd. I've only got about 30 minutes through it, but so far it's pretty good.:rofl: The dialouge is kinda funny. But the quality of porn is top notch. fuck scenes could be longer though.
 
[quote name='SIUfan86']No, I actually own the dvd. I've only got about 30 minutes through it,[/QUOTE]


:shock:

In all seriousness I'll have to download the pirate porn. I want to see what high budget porn gets a person. Plus 3 discs thats a lot of jacking...see above post.
 
[quote name='d00k']
Does anybody else think that this is absolutely ridiculous?[/quote]

No. I think considering how half-assed (no pun intended) internet porn and most porn in general is nowadays, it is a good idea that someone puts some production values behind movies. Hell, movies like American Pie and Not Another Teen Movie are half a step from porn themselves. If someone were to adopt that type of humor in an adult movie it would probably be very popular.
 
[quote name='Graystone']:shock:

In all seriousness I'll have to download the pirate porn. I want to see what high budget porn gets a person. Plus 3 discs thats a lot of jacking...see above post.[/quote]

QFT!!!
 
[quote name='d00k']I don't think so. It had a big "ADULT" sticker above it.[/quote]

That's funny, so the video store just mixes porn movies in with the regular movies? Most video stores around here has a "back room" for porn.
 
[quote name='RawisJericho']That's funny, so the video store just mixes porn movies in with the regular movies? Most video stores around here has a "back room" for porn.[/quote]

We have a back room too, occasinally the mix it up. I think they're trying to make something funny happen.
 
[quote name='RawisJericho']That's funny, so the video store just mixes porn movies in with the regular movies? Most video stores around here has a "back room" for porn.[/quote]

My Family Video has a huge backroom full of pr0n.
 
[quote name='Graystone']:shock:

In all seriousness I'll have to download the pirate porn. I want to see what high budget porn gets a person. Plus 3 discs thats a lot of jacking...see above post.[/QUOTE]

So you're going to pirate pirate porn? :p
 
[quote name='d00k']We have a back room too, occasinally the mix it up. I think they're trying to make something funny happen.[/QUOTE]

Until I saw this, I thought you were looking at porn with your brother!
 
[quote name='gofishn']The Blockbuster in Tallahassee has a porn section, something I'd never seen in a Blockbuster Video before.[/quote]

Even Blockbuster has to realize adult content is highly profitable. It drives the growth of the internet and is a large determining factor in technology (VCRs, DVD players). Softcore stuff drove the growth of cable (HOB, Showtime, Cinemax). Blockbuster's business has been going down for years so they had to do something.
 
[quote name='gofishn']The Blockbuster in Tallahassee has a porn section, something I'd never seen in a Blockbuster Video before.[/QUOTE]

It's damn rare, and it's probably a franchise store.

All films carried by BLOCKBUSTER carry ratings that have been established by the Motion Picture Association of America, Inc. In order to provide a wholesome environment for you and your family, we generally do not carry films with ratings of NC-17 or X. Please refer to the guidelines below when shopping for or renting movies:G: GENERAL AUDIENCES All ages admitted.PG: PARENTAL GUIDANCE SUGGESTED Some material may not be suitable for children.PG13: PARENTS STRONGLY CAUTIONED Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.R: RESTRICTED Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian.As an added consumer benefit, BLOCKBUSTER Online has included rating descriptors for all PG, PG-13 and R rated movies:AH = Adult HumorAL = Adult LanguageAS = Adult SituationsBN = Brief NudityCC = Child ClassicDC = Drug ContentEC = Excellent For ChildrenG = GoreGV = Graphic ViolenceMV = Mild ViolenceNC = Not For ChildrenN = NudityOK = OK For ChildrenP = ProfanityQC = Questionable for ChildrenSS = Sexual SituationsSV = Sexual ViolenceSC = Strong Sexual ContentSA = Substance Abuse (Alcohol, Drugs)V = ViolenceYRP = YOUTH RESTRICTED PRODUCTUnrated films not containing material suitable for all audiences are designated by BLOCKBUSTER as restricted and marked with a YRP sticker.YRP product is subject to BLOCKBUSTER's YOUTH RESTRICTED VIEWING policy, which requires parental consent for the rental of "R" rated and "YRP" labeled movies and "M" rated games to youths under the age of 17.
Click to expand...
 
I remember this was being heavily promoted at the adult video convention adjacent to CES last January. I recognized the male lead as someone who is in tons of late night softcore on cable channels, so I assumed an R rated version had to be imminent for the cable/satellite and more conservative but not completely tight assed video stores.
 
They had a mini download of the Pirate Pron movie in HD, on a HD forum site. I forgot the name of the site but they had HD clips for WMV, the T2 clip in HD was awesome watching on My 360.
 
They showed this at my school. Every year they do a big porn thing and this past year they used this one. Well I assume it's the same one, I heard it was a high budget Pirates rip off.

I couldn't go myself unfortunately.
 
take it from experience not a vry good porn, but i am a chick so take that into consideration too. (and married.... to a guy)
 
I hate this kind of porn. I don't give a flying fuck about special effects, dialogue, etc. I just want hot girls having hot sex, dammit! And no music! Music ruins everything!
 
[quote name='evanft']I hate this kind of porn. I don't give a flying fuck about special effects, dialogue, etc. I just want hot girls having hot sex, dammit! And no music! Music ruins everything![/quote]
Don't forget the attempt to have a story, which does nothing but exercise the fast foreward button.
 
[quote name='thespillcanvas']Don't forget the attempt to have a story, which does nothing but exercise the fast foreward button.[/QUOTE]

EXACTLY. Seriously, BangBros>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>this shit.
 
[quote name='evanft']EXACTLY. Seriously, BangBros>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>this shit.[/quote]

Bang Bros can be annoying at times too since the guy working the camera doesn't know how to shut the fuck up.
 
[quote name='Purple Flames']Bang Bros can be annoying at times too since the guy working the camera doesn't know how to shut the fuck up.[/QUOTE]

Well duh, but the girls are amazing.
 
[quote name='evanft']I hate this kind of porn. I don't give a flying fuck about special effects, dialogue, etc. I just want hot girls having hot sex, dammit! And no music! Music ruins everything![/quote]

QFT!
 
[quote name='Purple Flames']I saw this on a por site I frequent, but it was 7 gigs. I'll check it out when I have the patience and harddrive space to spare.[/QUOTE]

That's the High Definition version. I bet that looks amazing though haha. Anyways the normal DVD version is about 1.36 gigs and I got it in about 9 hours.
 
LOL I finally watched this whole movie without fast forwarding... and I have to say Wu the chinese guy is the funniest character. Watch the ship battle towards the end to hear Wu say the best line of the movie,"The cannons wont work piece of shit!!!" or something similar. Trust me this movie will make you laugh. Of course there's hot girls too.
 
[quote name='Tiphireth']Unsuprising. Rule 34 still applies. ;)[/quote]

What is rule 34? The only rules I know of that are numbered are the Ferengi Rules of Acquistion. :lol:
 
The only one I recall watching that was "big budget" was a 70's film called "Alice in Wonderland". It was made really well IMO and actually there wasn't a whole lot of hardcore stuff in it. Of course, back then they actually tried making the movies in the same way mainstream ones were made.
 
[quote name='evanft']Well duh, but the girls are amazing.[/quote]

ahhh not always... some of those girls from bang bros are trashy... their headquarters are in miami beach ( close by) and they tend to shoot in the area sometimes..

ass parade is pretty good though... and 8th street latinas

most of jesse jane's porn movie seem to be like this... fictional and with the same porn guy actors..i cant stand that fabio lookalike with the long hair
 
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