SerenityKry
CAGiversary!
My fiance and I have been together for well over 3 years, we've had our ups and our downs. But every mountain we've come across has been climbed successfully if I do say so myself.
I love him to death and I'll be the first one to admit it, I spoil him, I trust him, far too much for my own safety. Gah this is going to be so long...
I got home this evening from work, I worked a pretty late day, things always get kind of hectic around month end. He hasn't been working more then 2 days a week lately, he's a roofer and unfortunately, no roofs are being built right now.
I got home and he was out in the back garage, didn't even know I had gotten home. I walked inside, got comfy and saw his phone on the bed, he is never far without it. I investigate because lately he has proven to be very sneaky and a bit shady. There was a text msg from a girl named Mellisa, I don't know any Mellisas. It said, "Hey Black Baby, whatcha doing?"
I was stunned, some girl was calling my fiance baby, I pry even more. I txt back, "Nothin what are u doin?" She reply's, "Buying my Dubb tickets and Sparxxx. When will you be back from Glamis?" (Glamis is in Cali, he isn't there though, he's here in Arizona at home.) I respond, "Not sure, why?" And before I knew it he came in the house and my investigation was cut into.
Now for some background... His really good friend that he has known since he was a kid has told me so many times that I should just leave him. He's hit on other girls when they go out like he wants to take them home. He's even a charasmatic flirt in front of my face at times. His friend has told me that he still is the same person he was and will always be and that he jsut doesn't feel I deserve that. His own friend!
I do in fact spoil him considerably. I pay all of our bills and only hold him accountable for paying his own truck payment. He claims he will pay his truck insurance but hasn't yet and th next payment is fast approaching. I pay for his phone, for all of his extras, his bills and mine. I've ben told time and time again not to but he's so damn lazy sometimes I just don't want himto mess things up for himself.
I have a feeling I have been cheaeted on multiple times in the past, I have a feeling girls come and go behind my back. The past two months we have had some seriously huge arguements... When trying to pull away from him and leave he claims he cares the world for me and doesn't want me to leave. I don't understand, if he wants other girls then why is he holding on to me??
I'm at my wits end, I'm tired of not having any money and getting no help with the bills, I'm tired of all the lies and him vanishing with claims of errands he has to run. I'm just tired and I know I can be treated better, I know I can find better.
But at the same time, I'm so flippin scared to leave, I really do love and care for him, he can be the sweetest thing a lot of the time. I guess I'm still stuck in the blind stage. My biggest fear is losing him.
I just don't know how to realize and wake up to the fact that I need to leave, I know if I found some down right hard evidence I'd be up and out in a second flat flipping the bird as I drove off. Also, I just don't know how to tear myself away from him without him suckering me back in.
Maybe I'm being insanely paranoid! Maybe I'm reading too far into things. I really don't know, I really wish this wasn't all happening.
I love him to death and I'll be the first one to admit it, I spoil him, I trust him, far too much for my own safety. Gah this is going to be so long...
I got home this evening from work, I worked a pretty late day, things always get kind of hectic around month end. He hasn't been working more then 2 days a week lately, he's a roofer and unfortunately, no roofs are being built right now.
I got home and he was out in the back garage, didn't even know I had gotten home. I walked inside, got comfy and saw his phone on the bed, he is never far without it. I investigate because lately he has proven to be very sneaky and a bit shady. There was a text msg from a girl named Mellisa, I don't know any Mellisas. It said, "Hey Black Baby, whatcha doing?"
I was stunned, some girl was calling my fiance baby, I pry even more. I txt back, "Nothin what are u doin?" She reply's, "Buying my Dubb tickets and Sparxxx. When will you be back from Glamis?" (Glamis is in Cali, he isn't there though, he's here in Arizona at home.) I respond, "Not sure, why?" And before I knew it he came in the house and my investigation was cut into.
Now for some background... His really good friend that he has known since he was a kid has told me so many times that I should just leave him. He's hit on other girls when they go out like he wants to take them home. He's even a charasmatic flirt in front of my face at times. His friend has told me that he still is the same person he was and will always be and that he jsut doesn't feel I deserve that. His own friend!
I do in fact spoil him considerably. I pay all of our bills and only hold him accountable for paying his own truck payment. He claims he will pay his truck insurance but hasn't yet and th next payment is fast approaching. I pay for his phone, for all of his extras, his bills and mine. I've ben told time and time again not to but he's so damn lazy sometimes I just don't want himto mess things up for himself.
I have a feeling I have been cheaeted on multiple times in the past, I have a feeling girls come and go behind my back. The past two months we have had some seriously huge arguements... When trying to pull away from him and leave he claims he cares the world for me and doesn't want me to leave. I don't understand, if he wants other girls then why is he holding on to me??
I'm at my wits end, I'm tired of not having any money and getting no help with the bills, I'm tired of all the lies and him vanishing with claims of errands he has to run. I'm just tired and I know I can be treated better, I know I can find better.
But at the same time, I'm so flippin scared to leave, I really do love and care for him, he can be the sweetest thing a lot of the time. I guess I'm still stuck in the blind stage. My biggest fear is losing him.
I just don't know how to realize and wake up to the fact that I need to leave, I know if I found some down right hard evidence I'd be up and out in a second flat flipping the bird as I drove off. Also, I just don't know how to tear myself away from him without him suckering me back in.
Maybe I'm being insanely paranoid! Maybe I'm reading too far into things. I really don't know, I really wish this wasn't all happening.