Please Tell Me This Is A Nightmare - Advice

[quote name='rodeojones903']This. He sounds like a real loser.

Any other normal person would have found a different job by now, but with you paying for everything he can just kick back.[/QUOTE]

This.
 
Turn off your cellphone after you make plans with your friends. Then, tell your boyfriend that your cellphone is broken, and that you will need to borrow his for the evening. If he balks, then you know why. If he gives it to you, then don't give him time to clear anything.
 
What you should do is stoppin' being a little 14 year old bitch. Your in Arizona? Come to Tempe. Party it up a AEPi Frat shindig and hook up with some random guy, but make sure the guy has some type of STD, nothing serious like AID's but something that can be cured with some type of lotion like crabs. Then go back to your fiance, have sex with him, give him crabs, and peace out.
 
[quote name='help1']Turn off your cellphone after you make plans with your friends. Then, tell your boyfriend that your cellphone is broken, and that you will need to borrow his for the evening. If he balks, then you know why. If he gives it to you, then don't give him time to clear anything.[/QUOTE]

Sneaky.
 
Dump this fucker. I was also in a 3-year relationship with some bum who would never do his share, but I would pay for everything (more like my parents because I was a teenager). He didn't cheat on me, but he did have a temper and physically abused me and my mom. It was hard for me to leave, just like you, but when I went to college without him, I was finally able to do it. You shouldn't wait for that opportunity. Dump him NOW. Seriously. I know firsthand how hard it is. But you NEED to do it before you waste any more time, money, and affection on him. You know what you need to do, you just need to do it. Feel free to PM/IM me if you need someone to talk to about it, as I've been in your shoes before and I know what it's like. I couldn't really talk to my friends about it when I was in this situation cause he put a keylogger on my own computer.
 
[quote name='camoor']No offense, but this is awful, awful advice.

OP you should move your valuables to a safe place (like your parent's or a storage facility) - then give the order to get the heck out (and get the key or change the locks!)

Please do the fair thing and give him his stuff back though. Don't be that bitter chick that saws everything in half - noone likes that girl.[/quote]
I was kidding. Kind of.

And well-played to the person who posted The Streets.
 
Sounds like you need to face the facts and see that this relationship is one-sided. The reason he doesn't want it to end is that you are supporting him. You are his meal ticket. Simple.
 
1. He's probably cheating on you.
2. You say he's a pathological liar
3. He's a roofer.
4. He's leaching off your income.

Start respecting yourself, drop this douchebag and find someone decent.
 
[quote name='Dead of Knight']Dump this fucker. I was also in a 3-year relationship with some bum who would never do his share, but I would pay for everything (more like my parents because I was a teenager). He didn't cheat on me, but he did have a temper and physically abused me and my mom. It was hard for me to leave, just like you, but when I went to college without him, I was finally able to do it. You shouldn't wait for that opportunity. Dump him NOW. Seriously. I know firsthand how hard it is. But you NEED to do it before you waste any more time, money, and affection on him. You know what you need to do, you just need to do it. Feel free to PM/IM me if you need someone to talk to about it, as I've been in your shoes before and I know what it's like. I couldn't really talk to my friends about it when I was in this situation cause he put a keylogger on my own computer.[/quote]


you had a bf who abused you and your mom? how come your dad or some other guy kick the shit out of him? anyone ever laid a hand on my mother or sister and i caught wind of it theyd be fertilizing someones lawn before weeks end.
 
Confront him and tell him you know about Mellisas. Let him talk and he'll accidently reveal everything. Then you'll have your proof.

Maybe you should do this in a public place though. I don't know if he is the violent type but you sound like the type that... not sure how to put this. Perhaps 'the type that'll let her boyfriend hit her and still stay with him' type.

Then again it might all be nothing and you're being paranoid for no reason. It would still be best to take care of this soon rather then waiting and letting it fester in your mind.
 
Do you really need to ask if you should let this toolbox stick around?
You're asking for relationship advice from total strangers on a video game site.
Obviously, I dig this site too but 3 straight pages and counting agree on your course of action.
Really, this isn't even close. Considering he brings nothing to the table, ask him to leave it.

If you had described the whole situation WITHOUT the cheating suspicion, I'd still say it sucks.
When you have to evaluate your relationship's suck-level chances are that it does; hard.
I'm not trying to be cruel or crass here, just keeping it honest. Time for you to be honest as well.
Is this how you want to live your life? Make your bed as you see fit, you're the one sleeping in it.
 
No way in this day and age should any person in a relationship totally support the other financially, unless it is an unusual cirmcumstance (laid off, hosptial stay, etc.). It doesn't matter if you are man or a woman, if you aren't married each person should take care of their own bills and split joint bills equally. That is the only fair thing to do. The second you did otherwise let him know he could get away with anything IMO.
 
I understand where you're coming from. You're hurt, disappointed, scared, and just want to vent. You want everything to be fine. Unfortunately it's not and won't be. This is the exact plot from Beyonce's "Irreplaceable" for crying out loud. Leave him.
 
[quote name='help1']Turn off your cellphone after you make plans with your friends. Then, tell your boyfriend that your cellphone is broken, and that you will need to borrow his for the evening. If he balks, then you know why. If he gives it to you, then don't give him time to clear anything.[/quote]

Noice.
 
I suspect he's gonna give you up, and gonna let you down.
He's gonna run around and desert you.
He's gonna make you cry, and then gonna say goodbye.
Then he's gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
 
He's a douche with too many holes in his head, it makes me upset that he even gets to fuck you while these other kids have to spank one out every night. You're hot, Jason's a douche. Time to tell him to kick rocks and tell his story walkin'.
 
[quote name='JimmieMac']He's a douche with too many holes in his head, it makes me upset that he even gets to fuck you while these other kids have to spank one out every night. You're hot, Jason's a douche. Time to tell him to kick rocks and tell his story walkin'.[/quote]

:applause: Major concurage.
 
DUMP HIM IMMEDIATELY!!! You deserve better than to be used and cheated on. That's probably what's going on here, since this situation sounds ALOT like my one buddy, who messed around on his one g/f. She was the sweetest person I'd ever met, she paid all of the bills, let him stay out all day and night and you know what he did to her?

He fucked the neighbor next door to them in their apartment complex, he got the woman pregnant and then he had NO CHOICE but to leave the gf.

She was STILL hurting the last time I talked to her, but every time I went over to see how she was doing, she said she still loved him. The girl deserved better, YOU deserve better. DUMP HIM NOW!!

You know what's funny though, is that he had it exactly like your fiancee with her footing the bill for EVERYTHING and now he's married to the slut ex neighbor, has 2-3 kids with her and works his fingers to the bone now.
 
Like the others have said, you should probably end the relationship. It'll be a bit of a shock to be alone after being with the same person for years, but you've got to consider what's best for your future.
 
Ahh **** this thread.

10 bucks says this loser bought her a dozen cheap roses and cried to her and she forgave him and right now they're doing it.

Women nowadays couldn't tell an asshole from a nice guy if he had a shirt that said what he was.
 
[quote name='NamelessMC']Ahh **** this thread.

10 bucks says this loser bought her a dozen cheap roses and cried to her and she forgave him and right now they're doing it.

Women nowadays couldn't tell an asshole from a nice guy if he had a shirt that said what he was.[/QUOTE]

At this point with no update, indeed.
 
[quote name='SerenityKry']
I do in fact spoil him considerably. I pay all of our bills and only hold him accountable for paying his own truck payment. He claims he will pay his truck insurance but hasn't yet and th next payment is fast approaching. I pay for his phone, for all of his extras, his bills and mine. I've ben told time and time again not to but he's so damn lazy sometimes I just don't want himto mess things up for himself.
[/QUOTE]

Did this person find employment yet?
 
I know that when it comes to this type of thing, nobody wants to hear "LEAVE HIM" or "HE'S A LOSER." ...but all I will say is that, the way you described the situation, I see nothing positive other than the love you and him share. ...Unfortunately, if you want to lead a happy, meaningful life, being in love with someone does not mean that they can provide you with the life that you deserve (and vice versa).

Your life-long partner (and what I'm saying goes back to the dawn of time) needs to:
*Be able to support you financially (which is not happening right now)
*Spiritually (which is not happening right now, as your pretty much dying on the inside thinking about his possible infidelity and other such secrets)
*Emotionally (read above)
*and Physically (Maybe sex is great,..but are you the only one enjoying it?)

I just got out of a almost 4-year relationship (it ended very well, thankfully), so I know how one feels about another person at that point. But, come on, when you were a little girl, did you dream of being in the position you are now?

"When I grow up, I want a boyfriend that keeps secrets from me, doesn't work or do anything productive, and possibly bangs other chicks!"

Anyways, I started this post in a positive mood,...but just thinking about you possibly wasting your youth makes me want to punch someone in the balls.

Good luck, and...well...good luck.
 
I completely forgot about even updating up until yesterday... And then I saw this thread up on the front page. An update is definitely needed.

I confronted him, he knew something was up, knew I had a clue about something, knew something was bothering me, but he is a guy and obviously had no clue how to approach it.

It was a Saturday afternoon, I had packed quite a few things in boxes and had my entire walk away plan set up.

I told him I knew he was talking to her, I even checked the cell phone statement. But to my mistake... I didn't check it well enough. All I saw was her number a good 8 times and was furious.
I was entirely calm about it though while talking with him.

We argued of course, about trust and dis-trust. And then he proved me oh so very wrong. We have had many issues in our past when we were younger and didn't understand how much we cared about each other and till this day have an insanely hard time believeing he has made some changes for me. Which is my mistake.

Mellisa is a girl I have met before, she's a little over 5 foot and rivals 180 lbs. The one time I met her she was wearing spandex pants and a cheetah bra trying to show off for the guys while we were out riding, she was very flirtatious with all of the guys and damn desperate.

One of our buddies really wanted it, another one already had it, and another one was still attempting to get it. The buddy who really wanted her was unfortunately dating another rather big girl and didn't want to mess things up.

She ended up breaking up with him and so my fiance and our guy who knew the girl decided it would be a good deed to hook him up with Mellisa. The day I saw those txts was the day my fiance and his other two buddies hung out around the house all day. That particular week our buddy had lost his cell phone while riding his harley drunk and was using my fiance's cell phone, those 8 calls I saw were all made in ONE day, the day they were hanging out together.

I stupidly stood my ground and told him I didn't believe it. He called Sprint and canceled his cell phone line... to further prove nothing was going on with any girls and that anyone who needed him could call him through my phone.

All in all, Mellisa and our buddy are doing quite well together, she thought she was talking to our buddy when we exchanged txts. I'm getting much more help with the bills, he even bought my $200 contacts, $160 glasses and $75 Eye Exam last weekend. His cell phone now sits on the night stand most of the time and I even use it occasionally, so obviously he isn't trying to hide things.

After out arguement and my almost leaving he quickly realized that he trusted me entirely and I didn't trust him at all. He then explained that maybe it's time for him to work on gaining my trust. And he slowly is.
I'm cautious, believe that, I'm not going to be able to shake that feeling for a very long time. But I think he finally understands it's time to be a bit more serious with our relationship.

So we are still engaged and probably will be for the next forever years. I appreciate the advice but I think it was very one sided and seen from eyes that fully concocked a story. I was a female being paranoid and stressed for a good reason but the wrong thing entirely.
 
[quote name='TC']repeat.[/quote]
We're working on that actually, he was recently laid off from his job just because the roofing company went under. No one wants to build a house in Arizona right now.

Another roofing company hired him but at a pay cut. Not to mention it's just not stable enough, one day he's working long days and another week will hardly have any work.

Not to mention he's just getting sick of being a roofer, has been for over 5 years.

We're throwing applications out left and right in hope someone will hire him right now, so, we're working on it.
 
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