Potential relationship help, please :o

sailorchrono

sailorchrono

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I was debating whether or not to post this, but inspired by theduck's thread and I guess The Mana Knight's post, I'm just going to throw it out there and hopefully get more point of views on what I should do.

A little background on me: I'm a 20 year old female college student. I just got out of my first relationship about 4 months ago. It lasted about a year and a half or so. I was kinda in a funk for awhile, in the mindset that "OMFG, I'm never going to get over him..............." But this changed when I met him.. (let's call him Vega).

So I met Vega a few weeks ago (who's 19). I wasn't too impressed by him at first, but then we gradually grew to become good friends. He's one of the few people that I can just sit around with all day and just talk. Yep.. just.. really *talk* and nothing else. It isn't even important what we talk about most of the time, it's just being around him... and he says it's the same for him. He just enjoys being around me as I do around him.

So anyways, as we spend more time together, I guess I started to feel a small spark for him. It didn't glow too brightly though because I wasn't sure if I was over my ex and he kinda gave off this vibe that he didn't want a relationship. However, a few nights ago, the spark started to glow more brightly as I realized just how much I enjoyed his company. So I sat there, tormented awhile because I didn't want to risk our friendship or anything by making a move (he... gets freaked out whenever I touch him.. like lightly on his shoulder or such). However, out of nowhere, later that night, he tells me he "really, really likes me". I was stunned as I've never seen/heard him be so blunt about that before.

So... since he said that.. I kinda started imagining us going out and whatnot. BUT there are some caveats:
1) Well... I asked him the next day what he meant by "really, really liking" me. He says he ..wasn't sure -_-. He's confused. He knows he likes being around me, but.. yeah.
2) He has a lower self confidence than even me, and...well.. that's pretty damned low :x
3) He's intimidated that I have more experience than him. He's had a "girlfriend" once upon a time, but...it wasn't ...sexual whatsoever. It leads me to number 4..
4) He used to be bulimic, which brings up a whole cadre of issues. According to him (who got this from his doctor), it pretty much screwed up puberty for him, and he had no sex drive throughout high school. Now he claims he's starting to develop one.. but..
5) ; I've talked to a few friends about this, and they say I might probably be incompatible with him because of his lack of interest in sex later on down the road. I want to say that I could overcome this hump, (excuse the pun -_-), but what do you all think? :/
6) He's the most shyest person I have EVER met. If I even look at him for more than a second or two, he gets jumpy.

Ahh, I guess this is getting too long. Basically, to sum it up:
I really really like this guy. I want to be his girlfriend, but he's too shy to make a move. I've made it clear I liked him (I've even said it outright to him) and such, but he usually changes the subject. He says I make him confused.. he's never felt this "way" (and whatever that "way" is, is a mystery unto him, because he's never had feelings for anyone romantically before, or so he says) before. I guess I should take this as a cue to just move on, but... he keeps dropping hints he likes me too (calling me cute, saying how he wants to make me happy...). Plus... I don't know if I should even make a move, really. However.. I don't know, the more I hang out with him (and we've started hanging out with each other a lot.. at least 3 times a week now. He blew off other friends to be with me), the more I just want to reach out and hold his hand and just hug him for the longest time. I don't want to screw up our friendship if I'm reading the signs wrong... advice please @_@

EDIT: So after all of your input today, I'm slightly less torn than before. I DO want to take it slowly and acclimate him to make him more comfy with me, but... at the same time, a lot of you have said I'm probably wasting my time on someone who may not reciporate how I feel, ever. With that taken into consideration, I guess I really do need to just go for it. I need to know if something will ever develop. I'm seeing him tomorrow, I'm going to say we should go to the beach. So, how should I "go" for it? Just ask him outright to be mine? XD

So another Edit...

I think I might really have a chance with him. I was meaning to save any meaningful conversation for tomorrow, but he came online, so we talked for a bit before he had to go.. this is just a snippet that gives me hope ;;

Vega(7:59:04 PM): but the beach early?
Sailor Chrono (7:59:19 PM): sure
Vega(7:59:27 PM): hmm
Vega (7:59:35 PM): if you want to
Vega (8:00:04 PM): do as much as possible in a day i guess
Sailor Chrono (8:00:11 PM): With you, yes
Vega (8:00:24 PM): whoa
Sailor Chrono (8:00:30 PM):
 
[quote name='pacifickarma']He's gay. No straight guy was ever bulimic. His sex drive isn't "gone" it's just tuned the wrong way and he's confused about that.[/QUOTE]

I agree that this might be the case.

Jump him and see what happens.
 
Stick it in his pooper! Wait, that didn't come out right....

In a successful relationship, men and women are equals, there's nothing wrong with you taking the lead and asking him out (in fact, it sounds like it would be good for him). So go ahead and invite him out to do something saturday night, like a movie and something outgoing but easy going like ice skating if it's in your area. Just the two of you, no need to call it a "date" per say, but there's certainly no problem with letting him become more comfortable around you, right? ;) Hell, next you know, he's holding your hand as you two walk. Start him off easy, things will pick up once he becomes a bit more comfortable.

Sounds like a decent guy, but bear in mind that if both of you are kind of shy and neither can really take the lead every now and then, you'll both eventually run out of things to talk about and it'll wind up into a "what you do want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" kind of conversation. The plus side is, once both of you get some experience at "taking the lead", it carries on to a lot of things outside the relationship as well, and both of you kind of become extroverts by necessity.

Good luck, feel free to ask if you have any other questions.

~HotShotX
 
lol, a friend of mine has suggested me just jumping him, but.. he'd FREAK out if I did that.

It never occurred to me that he might be gay, to be honest. He's said he's attracted to me before.. then he quickly changed the subject, lol. Plus he is always bristling when someone jokingly calls him gay... (well I suppose it could be self denial.. hm.. yeah, you guys really put this new idea in my head.. huh..)

He was bulimic because.. well.. because he used to be chubby as a child, according to him, and he had a messed up body image. And he wanted to control some aspect of his life, so .. the only thing it seemed to him that he could control was his weight. I don't know about all the validity of this since I just met him, but I do believe that's what he believed. I'm pretty sure he isn't gay, but just painfully shy. Who knows, though.. I just wish I could open him up.
 
[quote name='sailorchrono']I don't want to screw up our friendship if I'm reading the signs wrong... advice please @_@[/quote]

If you don't want to screw up the friendship then the safe route is letting things go like they are. If you ever want it to be more though, it sounds like you might have to make the first move. Shy guys tend to stay that way. I am a outgoing person, I like to joke and talk and stuff, but I am very cautious when talking to women and a lot of guys who are thinking with more than their pants are the same way. There may not be a chance to see how he feels without putting the friendship at risk. You just have to make the choice if the risk is worth it.
 
[quote name='pacifickarma']He's gay. No straight guy was ever bulimic. His sex drive isn't "gone" it's just tuned the wrong way and he's confused about that.[/QUOTE]

fuck that shit. My cousin was anorexic as a teen/young adult and he's been married to a woman for years. Though you did say bulimia and not anorexia.... They also don't have any kids. :shock:
 
[quote name='HotShotX']Stick it in his pooper! Wait, that didn't come out right....

In a successful relationship, men and women are equals, there's nothing wrong with you taking the lead and asking him out (in fact, it sounds like it would be good for him). So go ahead and invite him out to do something saturday night, like a movie and something outgoing but easy going like ice skating if it's in your area. Just the two of you, no need to call it a "date" per say, but there's certainly no problem with letting him become more comfortable around you, right? ;) Hell, next you know, he's holding your hand as you two walk. Start him off easy, things will pick up once he becomes a bit more comfortable.

Sounds like a decent guy, but bear in mind that if both of you are kind of shy and neither can really take the lead every now and then, you'll both eventually run out of things to talk about and it'll wind up into a "what you do want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" kind of conversation. The plus side is, once both of you get some experience at "taking the lead", it carries on to a lot of things outside the relationship as well, and both of you kind of become extroverts by necessity.

Good luck, feel free to ask if you have any other questions.

~HotShotX[/QUOTE]

Haha, we're already in that stage of "what do you want to do" "I don't know, what do you want to do" stage/rut. We're both poor so our options are kinda limited (hence always sitting around talking, lol. I am afraid that we are running out of things to talk about as there are more silences than usual). And we're in Southren California, so ice skating is out of the question, although I'd love to ;)

I do try to take the lead by initiating our conversations, hugging him.. I did go for his hand the other day but he kinda just took it away quickly and shyly ;

And we do hang out a lot, like I said just talking. We do go out out nearly every Saturday since we've met him, and I do see him getting more comfortable with me. I just don't know how to speed things along :/
 
just make sure he ges done puking before he goes down on you because that could be gross. wow a bulemic guy thats a new one for em but then again i guess thats a west coast thing.well to properly asses this situation maybe you should tell everyone how big your rack is beecause maybe hes afraid of big boobies lol. i say go for it something is better than nothing unles youre talking about stds then nothing is better than something......
 
[quote name='Dead of Knight']fuck that shit. My cousin was anorexic as a teen/young adult and he's been married to a woman for years. [/QUOTE]

Marriage doesn't guarantee that a man isn't gay.
 
[quote name='sailorchrono']Haha, we're already in that stage of "what do you want to do" "I don't know, what do you want to do" stage/rut. We're both poor so our options are kinda limited (hence always sitting around talking, lol. I am afraid that we are running out of things to talk about as there are more silences than usual). And we're in Southren California, so ice skating is out of the question, although I'd love to ;)

I do try to take the lead by initiating our conversations, hugging him.. I did go for his hand the other day but he kinda just took it away quickly and shyly ;

And we do hang out a lot, like I said just talking. We do go out out nearly every Saturday since we've met him, and I do see him getting more comfortable with me. I just don't know how to speed things along :/[/quote]

Sounds like he's a bit afraid of intimacy, or anything resembling a relationship. If thats the case the only way is to either ease him into it slowly or you just might scare him away.

But i applaud you for having a big heart, I dont know many women that would go through that much of a case for a guy:applause:
 
lol what kind of move would you all suggest, then? I guess I do want it be something more than anything else. I don't want to sit around regretting what could have been if I don't jump on this. Like I said, I've already tried to go for his hand and he just shyly pulled it away.

And as for the bulimia/anoerxia thing, 2 notes. He used to be anorexic as well before just being bulimic. He has since recovered and has been for about 2-3 years now. I don't think he'll have a relapse. And if he ever does, I will be there for him.. if he lets me. And according to him, it was kinda big at his high school (we went to different ones). He..supposedly even converted another guy to bulimia. He was one of those goth/emo kids when he was in high school.. so .. yeah ;/ He's not like that anymore, though. He's just.. adorable and has this weird naive charm thing going on.
 
[quote name='joe2187']Sounds like he's a bit afraid of intimacy, or anything resembling a relationship. If thats the case the only way is to either ease him into it slowly or you just might scare him away.

But i applaud you for having a big heart, I dont know many women that would go through that much of a case for a guy:applause:[/QUOTE]

HE IS. This is EXACTLY what I've been trying to get at, but didn't know how to put it. He IS afraid of intimacy and anything resembling a relationship. He's said it himself that he DOES want a relationship (but he didn't direct this towards me.. he was just saying it idly), but he wants someone to hold his hand the whole way. I want to be the one, but.. like I said, he says he's confused about how he feels about he me. I don't want to scare him away, but I don't know what to do. How slowly should I take it?

Another friend and I discussed this, and yeah.. I'm not sure if I can really wait around for him if it's going to be this slow. I want to, I really want to, but.. I want to see that he's letting me get through to him as time goes on. So far, I've barely seen it, but I guess I've just started
 
[quote name='sailorchrono']Haha, we're already in that stage of "what do you want to do" "I don't know, what do you want to do" stage/rut. We're both poor so our options are kinda limited (hence always sitting around talking, lol. I am afraid that we are running out of things to talk about as there are more silences than usual). And we're in Southren California, so ice skating is out of the question, although I'd love to ;)

I do try to take the lead by initiating our conversations, hugging him.. I did go for his hand the other day but he kinda just took it away quickly and shyly ;

And we do hang out a lot, like I said just talking. We do go out out nearly every Saturday since we've met him, and I do see him getting more comfortable with me. I just don't know how to speed things along :/[/quote]

You know, they do have indoor ice skating, do some searching on the internet, woman. :) Movies aren't too bad either, and if you're coastal, the beach is a good option as well.

As for physical contact, hugs are a big difference over holding hands in terms of touch, and though holding hands is a smaller touch, it sends a very different signal, you follow?

Start small, ease him into things. After maybe a movie and a walk in the park/beach you should be able to slip your hand into his as you walk.

Jumping him or hugging him, etc. Those are all tests to SEE if he likes you. No no, you run things tonight, you let him know you like him through body language, but slowly, you know? You go big, you might scare him off, but if you stay in control and ease him into the idea over the night, then he's yours if he really is interested, but if you give him an exit, he just might take it just to avoid the stress.

Also, as for ice skating, they usually toss in 15 minutes of "couples skating" during their "teen night" sessions. Not to mention the fact that you'll both be getting plenty of touch association as you try to stay up.

~HotShotX
 
Just keep trying the smaller moves like the hand thing and whatnot until he gets comfortable.

Or not, and just take it insanely slow.

Whatever makes you happy, really.

Most guys are normally all about getting more physical/comfortable so I don't really know how to help you.
 
I would try showing him your...um...reproductive organs and see if he gets aroused. If you don't know what to do next then I feel bad for you. Eh...I'll spell it out anyway:

H-A-V-E I-N-T-E-R-C-O-U-R-S-E!
 
[quote name='sailorchrono'] He's not like that anymore, though. He's just.. adorable and has this weird naive charm thing going on.[/quote]



maybe you like him because he is asexual and you realize there is no chance at hell you could get hurt in a relationship where you obviously would be the dominate one in the relationship.



Also just make a move the guy sounds like he needs his balls to drop anyway
 
[quote name='HotShotX']You know, they do have indoor ice skating, do some searching on the internet, woman. :) Movies aren't too bad either, and if you're coastal, the beach is a good option as well.

As for physical contact, hugs are a big difference over holding hands in terms of touch, and though holding hands is a smaller touch, it sends a very different signal, you follow?

Start small, ease him into things. After maybe a movie and a walk in the park/beach you should be able to slip your hand into his as you walk.

Jumping him or hugging him, etc. Those are all tests to SEE if he likes you. No no, you run things tonight, you let him know you like him through body language, but slowly, you know? You go big, you might scare him off, but if you stay in control and ease him into the idea over the night, then he's yours if he really is interested, but if you give him an exit, he just might take it just to avoid the stress.

~HotShotX[/QUOTE]

Yeah, we've already discussed going to the beach sometime to walk and talk. I am definitely going to try to slip my hand into his whenever we try that. I suppose you're right about the hugs. I remember the first time I hugged him (it was out of the blue), he DID jump and freak. But since then, we do hug a lot more.. but only when we're about to leave or in greeting. I guess I should try for it more? He is comfy with hugs now, thank goodness.

I guess we'll try a movie, I told him I wanted to see Juno the other day. He said okay, even though he didn't want to see such a movie >.> I'll make him follow through later.

Also, what do you mean show him through body language? I don't have any idea how to speak through that :3 And also, what do you mean by giving him an exit? I know he's always trying to avoid the stress, like pulling his hand away from me, it avoiding my eye contact when we talk sometimes.
 
Stop posting here and just fucking go for it. You are 20 and in college. If it doesn't work out who gives a shit? There are PLENTY of awesome people out there and you are just starting what will hopefully be some of the best years of your life (your 20s). Stop worrying about the little stuff and go have some fun and get some life experience. Life is too short to be wasting time wondering should I or shouldn't I. Just go for it.
 
If nothing happens after you make a move, then drop the guy.

Women, I don't care what Oprah and all those overpriced bullshit magazines you buy say, but you can't change men. It's a simple concept.

Judging from your comments, he sounds like a high maintenance twerp anyway, who is going to be nothing but a bag of whining throughout the entire relationship.
 
[quote name='sailorchrono']HE IS. This is EXACTLY what I've been trying to get at, but didn't know how to put it. He IS afraid of intimacy and anything resembling a relationship. He's said it himself that he DOES want a relationship (but he didn't direct this towards me.. he was just saying it idly), but he wants someone to hold his hand the whole way. I want to be the one, but.. like I said, he says he's confused about how he feels about he me. I don't want to scare him away, but I don't know what to do. How slowly should I take it?

Another friend and I discussed this, and yeah.. I'm not sure if I can really wait around for him if it's going to be this slow. I want to, I really want to, but.. I want to see that he's letting me get through to him as time goes on. So far, I've barely seen it, but I guess I've just started
 
[quote name='Ikohn4ever']maybe you like him because he is asexual and you realize there is no chance at hell you could get hurt in a relationship where you obviously would be the dominate one in the relationship.



Also just make a move the guy sounds like he needs his balls to drop anyway[/QUOTE]


Hm.. I wonder if there could be truth into this. The last relationship I had was a very messy break up indeed, and I was hurt beyond belief (or so I thought anyways.). I don't want to be the dominate one, though. I really want it to be equal, he just isn't taking up the mantle. But yes, he does seem asexual ;

Also, what does the second comment mean? >.>;
 
[quote name='sailorchrono']I suppose you're right about the hugs. I remember the first time I hugged him (it was out of the blue), he DID jump and freak. But since then, we do hug a lot more.. but only when we're about to leave or in greeting. I guess I should try for it more? He is comfy with hugs now, thank goodness.[/quote]

Gooooood! Now you should try to hug him, but with your legs. And make sure to hug him around the waist, with your legs, with both of your pants off.

Remember: It's okay to like it.
 
I know, I should be going out and meeting people. But to be honest, he's the first one to catch my interest in a long while. So I'm not so eager to give up on him.. v.v;

And no, his parents aren't divorced.

And inviting him over to my house on a regular basis is out of question. My mom.. is a bitch, to put it lightly. That's a whole other story... ugh.

Okay, okay, I will go for it. We're supposed to hang out tomorrow, I'll suggest going to the beach. And I'll hold his hand, yes I will!!! :D

And to Strell, I do think you're right in that he'll be a high mantinance guy. But I guess I'm so blind atm, I still want to try.
 
[quote name='sailorchrono']Also, what does the second comment mean? >.>;[/quote]


It's a blue collar way of saying that the guy needs to mature.
 
[quote name='sailorchrono']

Okay, okay, I will go for it. We're supposed to hang out tomorrow, I'll suggest going to the beach. And I'll hold his hand, yes I will!!! :D

And to Strell, I do think you're right in that he'll be a high mantinance guy. But I guess I'm so blind atm, I still want to try.[/quote]

you go girl!
 
[quote name='sailorchrono']Yeah, we've already discussed going to the beach sometime to walk and talk. I am definitely going to try to slip my hand into his whenever we try that. I suppose you're right about the hugs. I remember the first time I hugged him (it was out of the blue), he DID jump and freak. But since then, we do hug a lot more.. but only when we're about to leave or in greeting. I guess I should try for it more? He is comfy with hugs now, thank goodness.

I guess we'll try a movie, I told him I wanted to see Juno the other day. He said okay, even though he didn't want to see such a movie >.> I'll make him follow through later.

Also, what do you mean show him through body language? I don't have any idea how to speak through that :3 And also, what do you mean by giving him an exit? I know he's always trying to avoid the stress, like pulling his hand away from me, it avoiding my eye contact when we talk sometimes.[/quote]

I wouldn't necessarily recommend Juno, I think the last thing the kid needs is a scare about getting a girl pregnant in a relationship :) Don't up the ante on hugs until you're actually dating and start cuddling, save the hugging for the end of the "date", but don't do your generic hug, or think extending it for longer sends a different signal. When you hug, hug normally for maybe the first 3-5 seconds, with your heads side by side and arms around each other.

Then, instead of just extending that, you hold your arms around his shoulders, keep him close, look into his eyes, and start giving him the idea you'd like him to take the "lead" just long enough to pull off a kiss, if he's ready for it, otherwise I'd hold off and try again another time. The first kiss is something he should probably get the idea it's OK to do, instead of you doing it for him, but this will require you to send the right signals during the evening, particularly if you manage to get him to hold your hand.

What I mean by body language is simply carrying out when I said to "take the lead" during the evening, slipping your hand into his, if you go ice skating for example, helping each other balance while you skate, if you get ice cream, use two spoons for the same cone/bowl, and feed each other a spoonful perhaps a few times.

As for "giving him an exit", my point is that if you go too big, such as jumping him, trying to sneak a kiss, or try forcing your hand into his early on, then he's got an immediate reason to feel uncomfortable with you and ask you to back off. However, if you're subtle and take your time, and slip your hand into his midway during the "date", he might still 'feel" like he's uncomfortable with it, but he should still be wondering "why would I get upset over her holding my hand? I know and like this girl."

~HotShotX
 
[quote name='HotShotX']I wouldn't necessarily recommend Juno, I think the last thing the kid needs is a scare about getting a girl pregnant in a relationship :) Don't up the ante on hugs until you're actually dating and start cuddling, save the hugging for the end of the "date", but don't do your generic hug, or think extending it for longer sends a different signal. When you hug, hug normally for maybe the first 3-5 seconds, with your heads side by side and arms around each other.

Then, instead of just extending that, you hold your arms around his shoulders, keep him close, look into his eyes, and start giving him the idea you'd like him to take the "lead" just long enough to pull off a kiss, if he's ready for it, otherwise I'd hold off and try again another time. The first kiss is something he should probably get the idea it's OK to do, instead of you doing it for him, but this will require you to send the right signals during the evening, particularly if you manage to get him to hold your hand.

What I mean by body language is simply carrying out when I said to "take the lead" during the evening, slipping your hand into his, if you go ice skating for example, helping each other balance while you skate, if you get ice cream, use two spoons for the same cone/bowl, and feed each other a spoonful perhaps a few times.

As for "giving him an exit", my point is that if you go too big, such as jumping him, trying to sneak a kiss, or try forcing your hand into his early on, then he's got an immediate reason to feel uncomfortable with you and ask you to back off. However, if you're subtle and take your time, and slip your hand into his midway during the "date", he might still 'feel" like he's uncomfortable with it, but he should still be wondering "why would I get upset over her holding my hand? I know and like this girl."

~HotShotX[/QUOTE]

Ah, you're right about Juno.. I'll think of some other movie ; prolly Night of the Living Dead, heh (he loves that movie to death and I'm always for zombies :D). And I think that's how we already hug, arms around each other, side by side. I don't know, I can't help it but want the hug to last longer because I really like being in his arms, but he's the one who always pulls away first. He has *GASP* asked for a second hug on a few occasions!

And as for the other way to do the hug, I'd love to do it, but I'm pretty sure that's way above his comfort zone right now. I just.. I don't know how to tell at all what he'd be comfy with and what he wouldn't except by doing it and like you say, judging his reaction. I doubt he'll be ready to kiss for a long time, if ever *sigh*

As for the ice cream idea, I'd like to do that too.. but he has.. this weird thing about eating. Since he's a recovering bulimic and all, he doesn't want to be seen eating food by people -_-; I feel so embarrassed when I eat, 'cause I love food, so I'll be buying a coffee and he's just standing there watching me sip >.>; So there'd be no way in hell he'd do the ice cream thing, I think. Also, he's paranoid about germs. I offered to share my drink with him once and he was like, "IT'S NOT SANITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARY!!!!". ; Yeah, I was like.. uh
 
[quote name='sailorchrono'] I offered to share my drink with him once and he was like, "IT'S NOT SANITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARY!!!!".[/QUOTE]

Red Flag #1.

And probably 2-200.
 
From the way he seems scared of sex he's either gay or has a tiny penis or both. Unless you have a penis, and that penis is in fact smaller than his tiny penis, it will not work. Convince him that your clit is a penis, then compare your clit to his penis so he thinks his penis is huge, then the relationship may work.
 
[quote name='sailorchrono']Ah, you're right about Juno.. I'll think of some other movie ; prolly Night of the Living Dead, heh (he loves that movie to death and I'm always for zombies :D). And I think that's how we already hug, arms around each other, side by side. I don't know, I can't help it but want the hug to last longer because I really like being in his arms, but he's the one who always pulls away first. He has *GASP* asked for a second hug on a few occasions!

And as for the other way to do the hug, I'd love to do it, but I'm pretty sure that's way above his comfort zone right now. I just.. I don't know how to tell at all what he'd be comfy with and what he wouldn't except by doing it and like you say, judging his reaction. I doubt he'll be ready to kiss for a long time, if ever *sigh*

As for the ice cream idea, I'd like to do that too.. but he has.. this weird thing about eating. Since he's a recovering bulimic and all, he doesn't want to be seen eating food by people -_-; I feel so embarrassed when I eat, 'cause I love food, so I'll be buying a coffee and he's just standing there watching me sip >.>; So there'd be no way in hell he'd do the ice cream thing, I think. Also, he's paranoid about germs. I offered to share my drink with him once and he was like, "IT'S NOT SANITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARY!!!!". ; Yeah, I was like.. uh
 
[quote name='javeryh']Stop posting here and just fucking go for it. You are 20 and in college. If it doesn't work out who gives a shit? There are PLENTY of awesome people out there and you are just starting what will hopefully be some of the best years of your life (your 20s). Stop worrying about the little stuff and go have some fun and get some life experience. Life is too short to be wasting time wondering should I or shouldn't I. Just go for it.[/QUOTE]

Exactly what I was thinking.
 
I would say see if anything physical does happen. You could do the "full attack" or start it slow, that is really up to you. Either way something physical should happen, because it allows for a healthy relationship. If it doesn't or you think it is taking to long, then move on. You can still be friends with him, and since there would have been no physical relationship it would be mostly the same. Don't hold yourself back from meeting other people for something that you don't know will work out, and are already having difficulty's with.
 
Vega = TMK ?

Low self-confidence, eating disorder (even though TMK never specifically said he did, he mentioned not taking care of himself)...ok, I'm all out of similarities.

But OP, make your move and if he rebukes it or is unsure then move on. Plenty of other fish in the sea. At least you'll still have a friend.

Edit: Just walk around with him and casually hit your hands together (if that makes sense). If he doesn't get it, then go for the hand grab yourself and see how he reacts.
 
[quote name='SteveMcQ']Vega = TMK ?[/quote]lulz

Seriously though, you gots to go for it. You'll know right there and then if he ain't interested in you.
 
[quote name='pacifickarma']He's gay. No straight guy was ever bulimic. His sex drive isn't "gone" it's just tuned the wrong way and he's confused about that.[/quote]

I don't have time for a proper reply or to respond to the OP, but this 100% not true. I myself am straight, and I'm a recovered anorexic. In fact, I run an eating disorder awareness group on campus am in school doing eating disorder research and plan on doing clinical work with them after I graduate.

It's a hugely inaccurate stereotype that only women/models/athletes/gays get eating disorders. Anyone can develop one, and I'm living proof to contradict your statement,

OP, I don't have much time right this minute, but I'd be more than happy to discuss these issues with you, being a recovered male who doesn't fit the stereotypes, I might be able to offer you some insight :)
 
I can't believe you're even considering going with a guy like that. He sounds like a complete sissy. Whatever happened to women being attracted to a "man's man"?

With so many potential problems, and so few potential benefits, I think this is a no-brainer. One-night stand!

Kidding. Ditch the half-gay.
 
[quote name='the ender']I can't believe you're even considering going with a guy like that. He sounds like a complete sissy. Whatever happened to women being attracted to a "man's man"?
[/quote]


Man's Man?....

I Give you ....Carrot Top
carrottop.jpg
 
[quote name='the ender']I can't believe you're even considering going with a guy like that. He sounds like a complete sissy. Whatever happened to women being attracted to a "man's man"?[/quote]

Despite his meek nature, he exhibits one of the qualities that the
bad boys" possess: making himself unavailable. Women tend to be attracted to guys they can't have, or guys that they have to work harder to get to notice them.
He's a challenge to the OP in that sense, and that's what attracts her to him.
 
ok, so my friend really liked this girl. and it was obvious this girl liked him. but they would go and just hang out. and he would come back and tell us about how they hung out... but nothing happened. so we told him to get drunk. not in a date rape kind of way, but its a lot easier for people to hook up after a drink or two. he didnt like the idea and thought it was stupid. a week or so later, they totally hooked up, and guess what, they went out to a bar before and had a few drinks. now theyre totally together and thats that. so, thats my advise, get a few drinks in him (and you). now i dont condone underage drinking, so youll have to go to mexico. but thats the key, beer.
 
If he's not gay, he sounds like prince charming. A guy who is more interested in intelligent conversation than sex? And not doing it so he can get in your pants? Dreamy :p.
Work for it. Guys like that don't come around very often.

If you are going to work on it, you should work up to hugs. They are a totally non threatening, non sexual - happiness- supportive kind of feeling :)
 
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